Fashion Psychology : 7 Ways Dressing Better Improves Your Life After 40

[00:00:00]Did you know that getting dressed every single day can actually alter your brain chemistry and either make you feel good or make you feel bad? So, you might as well choose clothes that make you feel good. This has actually been scientifically proven in something that's called enclosed cognition. And it basically proves that the clothes we put on our body can alter our mood. It can alter our psychological state. It can alter how we perceive ourselves and how other people perceive us. Because let's be honest, like it or not, people are making a judgment about you, within the first like few seconds they meet you, and one of those things that they see in the first few seconds they meet you is your clothes. So, why not use fashion as a tool to help uplevel your life in all areas, which is exactly what I'm going to teach you in today's video. I am sharing all about fashion psychology.

[00:00:52]Seven tips on how to dress better in order to improve your life in all areas because you don't wait to feel confident to dress well. You actually dress well so that you will feel confident. People get that wrong. They think, "Oh, I don't have the confidence to wear that." No, no, no, no, no. step out of the box and wear it first because you wearing that fabulous item will create the confidence once you wear it because you are signaling to your brain that you are worth it when you wear something that you really love. And I will share a quick personal story. I was in an unhealthy toxic marriage for about I don't know a very long time 15 years.

[00:01:33]And so for the last 10 years, I've been divorced 3 years. For the last 10 years, I was stuck in the marriage and I, you know, I really wanted to get divorced, but I just couldn't. I didn't know how.

[00:01:42]I was very confused and going through a very difficult time. But the one tool that I had that honestly probably saved me was being able to get up every single day, be intentional about the clothes I put on because they made me feel better.

[00:01:56]They made me feel confident. They made me feel happy and they made me feel just put together and like myself. And if I didn't have that, if I didn't get up every single day and get dressed and be intentional about that, I would have stayed stuck in my depression, I probably would still be married to that man and be even more depressed. And so, honestly, I can say that fashion was one of the tools that gave me the courage to leave my marriage. That's how powerful dressing can be. So, let's dive right in. Seven ways getting dressed can improve your life after 40. So tip number one is dress for the person you want to become, not who you are today.

[00:02:36]Because like I said, you don't you don't feel confident first and then wear the outfit. Wearing the outfit actually creates the confidence. So I want you to pick three words of how you want to feel when you get dressed every day. And I want you to put them down below in the comments. My three words are courageous, classy, and confident. I even have them written on my mirror, which is why I'm looking over there in my office with lipstick. I wrote them down. So, I challenge you if you have a full-length mirror in your bathroom or, you know, wherever you get ready and get dressed, write those three words in fun red lipstick on your full length mirror.

[00:03:12]That way, when you get dressed every day and you look in the mirror, you can check it and you can be like, "Does this outfit make me feel classy? Does it make me feel bold or happy or joyful or what comfortable or safe or secure?" Like whatever your words are, I want you to check it every single day when you get dressed and make sure that what you're wearing matches that because like I said, the clothes that we put on our body will alter our brain chemistry and make us feel those ways if we choose wisely. For example, when I put this outfit on, I absolutely feel confident and I feel classy and I feel courageous.

[00:03:46]This is a fabulous trench. It is belted.

[00:03:49]And one thing to know is that when you wear fitted clothes, you also signal to your brain um security and safety, which I guess is why I like to wear fitted clothes so much. And so this is a fabulous trench. It was sold out, but now it has been restocked in all sizes.

[00:04:05]Now, these are some fabulous black capries. I love these. They're a trendier piece, but I still think they're fabulous, and I feel good when I wear them. And then these are just some easy kitten heels. Love the way I feel in this outfit. Again, I feel like myself. I feel confident and well-dressed and put together when I wear this outfit. Another outfit that makes me feel confident and courageous and classy is this monochromatic look.

[00:04:30]Again, it is a fitted look. I like wearing fitted pieces because that creates security. It also allows me to show off my figure. So, this is an easy halter top. It's a beautiful ivory shade. It's from Nordstrom Rack, so the price point is incredible. I tucked it in. I added a belt to accentuate my waist. And then these are some amazing ivory jeans. These are classy, they're elegant, and that's exactly how I felt when I put on this outfit. So, for example, let me share another quick personal story. When I was out shopping with my friend Kathy, um, she has a little bit of a different style than me.

[00:05:03]She's a little bit more conservative and maybe casual than I am, I guess you could say. And so she found these like really cool turquoise and brown Birkenstock looking shoes. I mean, could y'all see me ever wearing a Birkenstock?

[00:05:17]I think you know the answer to that would be absolutely not. And she was like, "Oh my gosh, I love these." She goes, "But Heather, I know you probably hate them." And I'm like, "Why do you say that?" She's like, "Because I just know your style." And so we took them into the dressing room and just for fun.

[00:05:30]She's like, "Just try them on just for fun." So, I had on like some jeans and I tried on the the Birkenstockish shoes and literally my body was like, "Take them off right now." I had like this visceral response to like get them off of my feet as soon as possible because even if your mind doesn't know that when you put something on, it feels off. Your body always knows first. Your body always knows before your mind. So, it just didn't feel like myself. I kind of felt frumpy. I kind of felt a little too masculine. I really love to feel feminine and beautiful and classy when I put on my clothes and my shoes and my handbags and etc. And these did not give me that vibe. So, what is it for you?

[00:06:12]Again, I really want you to go deep and figure out what your three words are and only wear clothes that make you feel like those three words. Tip number two is dopamine dressing. I'm sure you have heard this before, but the colors we wear alter the chemistry in our brain.

[00:06:29]It actually gives us dopamine when we wear fun, beautiful, happy colors. Like for example, when we wear the color yellow, that makes us feel joyful and happy. When we wear the color black, that makes us feel powerful and confident. When you wear the color blue, it actually makes you feel calm and serene, which explains after leaving a toxic relationship, the number one way I wanted to feel was calm and serene. So, no wonder I love wearing the color blue so much. So the clothes we put on our body, like I said, they create a mood, they create a state, they create an energy about us that either can make us magnetic and attractive and confident or it can have the opposite effect. It can bring you down. Like if you wear a sweatuit, like you would never wear a sweatuit to a job interview because you wouldn't feel powerful and confident.

[00:07:18]You'd probably feel a little frumpy and lazy. So that's why every day when I get up and even though I work from home, I put on a reasonably stylish outfit because of the way it makes me feel. So like I said, since leaving that toxic relationship, I really want to feel calm and safe. So I love wearing the color blue. And this is a blue denim halter top by Good American. I love this. And then I paired it with some dark wash widelegg jeans. I love a monochromatic look. And this high-waisted widelegg silhouette is also very flattering and very slimming. And the fashion psychology behind this is the fabric.

[00:07:54]The fabric is denim. The fabric is high quality. The fabric looks expensive. The fabric doesn't wrinkle. And those all send signals to our brain that we are worthy of putting on something that makes us feel good. It makes us actually have more self-worth when we wear clothes that are high quality and fit our bodies nicely. And then I carried this fabulous ivory woven handbag. It has a gorgeous gold buckle. This bag kind of reminds me of like a BGA bag, but because I think it's by JW Pay, it's a fraction of the price. Another fabulous blue outfit I love wearing because again, it makes me feel calm and safe is this really cool denim mini dress. It has a really great belt, so it is fitted. It does a great job of accentuating your waist. I think it's like the perfect summer dress. It's also from Nordstrom Rack, so the price point is incredible. Tip number three is to put your attention on this new scientific concept that I'm telling you about today, which is enclosed cognition. Because when you put your attention and awareness on something, you make it impactful in your life.

[00:08:57]Because like I said, the clothes we put on our body absolutely alter the state of our brains. It alters our mood. It can make us in a better mood. It can make us feel happier. It even alters our hormones. So why not use fashion as a tool to make yourself feel better?

[00:09:13]Because when you feel better, you attract better things and then all of a sudden other aspects of your life start getting better. For example, one of my favorite clients that I meet with, her name is Jill. Shout out to Jill. I know she watches all my videos. And she's actually a VIP private client of mine, I do style consultations with her um over Zoom. So, if you're also looking for a stylist, you can book a session with me.

[00:09:37]I will leave a link down below in my description box. But, I've been working with Jill for over a year. And what she told me is that once she started working with me and actually dressing better, she said, "I started to feel better. I started to feel more confident. I started to feel prettier. I started to feel more beautiful." And she said, "Guess what? My marriage improved because I started wanting to go out on dates with my husband because I actually had an outfit to wear that I was excited to wear." So, yes, dressing better actually improved her marriage. That's how impactful getting dressed every day can be for you, too. And so again, I'm going back to this blue color. I wear blue a lot because I want to feel safe and secure. So this is a navy blue Aritzia bomber jacket. It's wrinkle-free. You can wear it zipped and tucked under, but you can also wear it open, which I absolutely love. I paired it with some easy Mother Hustler jeans.

[00:10:27]These are also fitted with the perfect ankle length, which allows you to show off your favorite pair of heels.

[00:10:33]However, I chose to wear some navy blue sneakers with this outfit because this day I wanted to feel comfortable because I was with my grandson and running around. So, it was important for me to feel comfortable, but I also still felt like confident and beautiful as well.

[00:10:48]And FYI, these sneakers are from the Nordstrom Anniversary sale. Waterproof, still in stock and under $100. Tip number four, you can actually dress better to reclaim your sense of control.

[00:11:00]Because if your life feels chaotic, maybe you're in a toxic relationship and you can't get out like I was. This was one way that made me feel like I was in control because you have absolute control of the clothes that you put on your body every single day. Or maybe you're in a job that you absolutely hate and you can't get out of it. And this is the one thing that you can control because you just hate your boss. Every time you go to work, you can't stand your boss. Well, guess what? You can control what you put on your body and what you wear to work every day. Or maybe you have a teenager who's drinking a lot and you're just feeling so helpless. Well, again, use fashion as a way to help yourself feel in control of one aspect of your life because when you start feeling in control with this aspect of your life, that feeling will just flood over into all other areas of your life. And also, when you get dressed every day and you put on a good outfit that makes you feel amazing, you create that momentum that will carry on the rest of your day. So, this jacket makes me feel amazing. Neutral colors, by the way, also create a calmness and safety in your nervous system because, yeah, like I said, the clothes that we put on our body alter our brain chemistry, which alters the way our nervous system feels. I love this cropped trench. It is a beautiful neutral color, so it kind of makes me feel calm, but it also makes me feel confident and classy and courageous. I love this. It's under $100, I'm pretty sure, or around there from the Revolve website. And I am 5'4, so I really love a cropped jacket because it also makes me feel taller and slimmer. And then I did these white Bermuda shorts. These are a denim short from Quint. So love these. Very reasonably priced. And by the way, the Bermuda short is one of the biggest summer trends we are seeing right now. Leave me a comment down below. Let me know. Do you like that summer trend or do you hate it? It's kind of growing on me. At first I was like, I don't like it. But as I see more people wearing these Bermuda shorts, I think they're very classy and very elegant. Tip number five is dressing better actually improves your perception of yourself. And nothing could be more important because the more you start to love yourself, the more you start to perceive yourself in a positive way, other aspects of your life will also start to improve. It's like a domino effect. And so why not use fashion as the first domino that you lay every single day to improve your entire life.

[00:13:22]We are constantly observing our own behavior as well. So when you put on an outfit that makes you feel good, and you look in the mirror, you're literally telling your brain, "I am worth it. I am worthy." And it increases your self-esteem when you do that. And like Tom Ford says, getting dressed every single day is a form of selfrespect. And I couldn't agree more. And some days I do want to be comfortable, but I also want to look stylish because I still want to feel classy and confident. And these Rudy pants allow me to do that because they're still fitted. Also, because they're black, they do make me feel powerful and confident. I love these. They're wrinkle-free. So incredibly comfortable. They have an elastic waist in the back. And they also have pockets. I think Rudy calls these like the perfect work pant. So, you could easily wear these to work, but then you can also wear them super casual, running errands, you know, on the weekends or what have you. But then you can also dress them up, which is why I think they're one of the coolest pants I have tried in a really long time. I styled them three different ways, proving the versatility. The first way is with this cropped denim jacket.

[00:14:26]Again, it is a blue denim jacket. So, love this. It's also from Rudy. Very casual and easy. The second way was with a fitted gray tea and some flip-flops.

[00:14:36]This would just be super casual again for like running errands on the weekends. And then the third way is a little bit more dressy and this would be perfect for a date night or a girls night out. I did this ivory cropped moto jacket. I love this jacket. It's got strong shoulder pads, so I definitely feel powerful and confident when I wear this jacket, which is exactly how I want my clothes to make me feel. So, this outfit is an absolute yes for me. And I did some fabulous snake print heels. And that's another thing. What kind of shoes do you like to wear? Let me rephrase that. How do you want to feel when you put on your shoes? Do you want to feel beautiful? Do you want to feel confident? Do you want to feel stylish?

[00:15:14]Do you want to feel joyful? Do you want to feel courageous? Well, however you want to feel, put on shoes that make you feel that way. So, that explains why I love to wear heels. Do I always wear heels? Of course not. Because there's some days when I'm with my grandson or when I'm being super casual that I just want to be comfortable and I wear sneakers and that's okay. But when I'm going out on a date or when I'm going on a girl's night out or when I'm going to meet with a client or meet with a retailer that's about to give me a possible collaboration, I dress in a way that makes me feel confident. So, I always, always, always wear a heel. Why?

[00:15:49]Not because heels are more beautiful or because heels are more stylish, even though I would argue that they are. It's more about how I feel when I put on those heels. When I put on a pair of heels, I feel beautiful. I feel confident. I feel like I could take on the world and that's how I want to feel.

[00:16:07]So that's why I wear heels most of the time. How about you? How do you feel when you put on a pair of heels versus a pair of sneakers? I would love to know.

[00:16:16]So leave me a comment down below. And tip number six, and this might be one of my favorite ones, but dressing better not only changes the way you perceive yourself, which is obviously the most important thing, but it also changes the way other people perceive you. There was one study that was done um on somebody who actually wore red sneakers to this like formal event. So, you would obviously typically never wear red sneakers to this formal event. And then they asked all the participants like, "How did you view that person?" And they all said he was probably one of the most confident men in the room because he had on the red sneakers. Why? Well, because he went against the norm. He went against what the rules were and he did it anyway. Which shows that he must have a lot of self-confidence to do that. So, take that as your sign to step out of the box and wear something that's fabulous. Like, if somebody walks in the room and they have on a pair of really cool zebra heels, for example, and you think to yourself, I could never wear those. I'm just not confident enough. I want you to reframe that. And I want you to say this instead. I realize my confidence isn't going to come first.

[00:17:23]Wearing the heels will come first. And because I wear the heels, then my confidence will follow. That's how it works. And that's the power of dressing better. Other studies have shown that people that dress better also perceived as making more money, like I mentioned earlier, having more friends, and even being more attractive, even if they aren't in the face. But if they have on a really great outfit, they're perceived as being more attractive. Like, how crazy is that? And tip number seven, the reason you should dress better is because it will allow you to get unstuck and out of a rut. Whether that's a style rut, it could simply just be a style rut and you're tired of wearing sweats and yoga pants every day. Well, obviously dressing better is going to get you out of that. Or it could be deeper than that. Maybe you're stuck in a toxic relationship. Maybe you're stuck in a bad job. Or maybe you've just been feeling depressed and down because you're in menopause and you're an empty neester now. Like whatever it is for you, you can use dressing, like I've said throughout this entire video, as a tool to alter your brain chemistry, which is going to make you feel more confident. It's going to make you feel happier. It's going to boost your mood and all of the things. So, honestly, why wouldn't you do this? I think this is like one of the most exciting things I have heard in a very long time. So, I'm going to be doing more videos about this. Let me know if you would like to see more videos about fashion psychology, even color psychology. I can go into more depth on these things, but I just think it's really, really interesting and a great tool we can all use to make ourselves feel better. So, leave me a comment down below and let me know what your favorite tip was because I always love hearing from y'all. And everything that I was wearing in this video will be linked down below in my description box. I will also add the YouTube tag so you can shop the video like that. It's basically like the little pictures that show up beneath the video. You can just click on those to purchase the item. I will also be listing my sizing information. So, for more style information, you can head over to my blog, so heather.com. And on Instagram, I am so Heather Blog. And in case no one has told you yet today, you're beautiful and amazing, and I love you just the way you are. I will look forward to seeing you in my next video.

[00:19:32]Bye-bye.