Every Type of Childhood Trauma Explained in 17 Minutes

[00:00:02]Emotional trauma. While sitting in the living room, your dad walks in and just sits in his chair. He hasn't moved and hasn't said anything yet. However, just by the way he looks at you, you feel sick to your stomach. Just then, he tells you, like every other day, that he's better than other fathers because he doesn't use his fists. But still, you get so scared that you wet yourself just standing at attention. Hours pass and you've been standing silently while your father lists everything that he finds wrong with you. This is emotional mistreatment, the kind that leaves no bruises for a teacher to spot, but wounds far deeper. For years, this was Nicolette's childhood because her father, a Vietnam veteran, believed children were inherently bad and needed to be controlled. So, her house ran like a military camp. There were long tirades over nothing. For instance, Nicolette's homework would get torn apart if her handwriting wasn't up to mark. One time, her younger sister was even forced to sit outside exposed to passing cars as punishment. And sadly, their mother never intervened. For years, the abuse was emotional until it became physical.

[00:01:23]When Nicolette reached her teens, her father banned her school friends and began policing what she wore. He even hit her once over a skirt he considered too short. Eventually, Nicolette ran away from home at just 14. Years later, she shared her story with the EndCan organization, calling it a calculated effort to make her doubt her own reality. According to Nicolette, her father used the absence of bruises as proof that nothing was wrong. Targeted mistreatment. You come home from school and sit down at the dinner table with your family. The food smells warm, but instead of being served, Mom looks you dead in the eye and points to the basement. Quietly, you get up and she locks the door behind you. Dinner continues, but you starve alone in the basement. This is targeted mistreatment, and it's when a child is singled out from his siblings and treated in a very inhumane way. In the Pelzer family, Dave was that target, the second of three sons in Daly City, California. On the outside, it seemed like an ordinary family, but deep down, there was a disturbing truth. You see, Dave's mother, Katherine, was an alcoholic, and it got so bad that something in her changed. She singled Dave out as the bad child while continuing to treat his brothers normally. While the began as verbal isolation, it was only a matter of time before things escalated. In the years that followed, Dave was even denied his own name. Instead, the house called him It. Now, Dave's father knew about the suffering, so he sometimes slipped him food in secret, but he never confronted his wife, and he never stood up to protect Dave because he chose his marriage over his son. Meanwhile, Dave arrived at school every day with bruises and weighed just 68 pounds despite being 12. Even his teachers noticed, but they said nothing for years. Finally, on March 5th, 1973, a school nurse cataloged Dave's injuries, and the teachers and the principal risked their jobs and called the police. Dave was eventually removed from the home that very day, and his case became one of the most severe instances of in California's history. Fast forward, Dave joined the US Air Force, became a motivational speaker, and wrote a best-selling memoir called A Child Called It. Physical neglect. You're hungry after school, but there's no food in the fridge. Your parents are at work spending their day with orphans trying to help them find good families, but their own home has a collapsing ceiling, a neglected child, and dishes that haven't moved in weeks. This is physical neglect. And ironically, it's a type of childhood trauma where one's own primary caretakers, mainly parents, don't care.

[00:04:28]And this was Neil Morrissey's early life, who would later become a well-known British actor. He and his brothers grew up with no consistent food, no supervision, and a house that was structurally falling apart. Because of that, they learned how to steal before they even knew how to read. At one point, Neil and his brother even began shoplifting candy just to eat. In 1972, a court appearance for theft finally caused a social services intervention, and what authorities saw was unimaginable. Neil's home was practically unlivable for any human, let alone a child. Eventually, authorities stripped his parents of custody, and he was separated from his brothers and placed in a care home. But even there, care was not consistent. As Neil moved through care homes, low expectations and the stigma of being a discarded child.

[00:05:22]But once he turned 18, the little support he had disappeared as well. He was left homeless with no money or safety net overnight. After years of being homeless, Neil ultimately rebuilt his life and became a successful actor.

[00:05:36]He later produced a BBC documentary called Care Home Kid, in which he described the children still struggling within the system. In In case, the neglect had two chapters. His parents wrote the first and the state's care home wrote the other. Household substance abuse. It's sunset and you're on a farm. Suddenly, your father's car comes up the road and just from the sound of it, you are terrified. You know tonight will be horrifying. Every day of your life has been split into two categories. Dad is sober or not sober.

[00:06:12]This is household substance abuse. of childhood trauma where a parent's addiction turns the home into a place filled with fear. It was the early life of Charlize Theron who grew up on a farm in South Africa with a father whose alcoholism made the home a recurring nightmare. On June 21st, 1991, when Charlize's father came home drunk, he violently threatened to kill both her and her mother. Terrified, both quickly retreated into a bedroom and leaned their full weight against the door. But this only annoyed her father more and it got so serious that he picked up a gun.

[00:06:50]Then, in an instant, he fired several blasts through the bedroom door, but all of them somehow missed. In self-defense, her mother drew her own gun and fired back, killing her father in the process.

[00:07:04]Eventually, the investigation ruled it as justifiable homicide. Charlize was only a teenager when it all happened.

[00:07:12]Years later, Charlize spoke about it openly refusing to carry it as shame.

[00:07:17]She credited her mother's decision with saving her life. These cases were disturbing, but the next trauma types leave scars that hardly anyone can ever fully heal. Subscribe and keep going.

[00:07:31]Extreme social isolation. You're tied to a chair in a small room with the windows all blacked out. The man who lives in this house comes in every day, but strangely, he doesn't speak. Instead, he growls, and if you make a noise, he hits you with a piece of wood. This isolation goes on for years, but worse, you have no idea other humans exist outside those four walls. This is extreme social isolation, and it's a complete deprivation of human contact during the exact years a child learns to become a person. This was the life of Genie Wiley, who was kept in a single dark room from the age of 20 months until she turned 13. During the day, Genie was strapped to a potty chair. By night, she was locked in a wire mesh crib. And the man who did this to her was her own father. He had decided, without any medical basis, that Genie was mentally disabled. So, he forbade anyone in the house from speaking to her. When she made noise, he hit her with a wooden plank and barked at her like a dog. Her mother was terrified of him, so she didn't say anything. However, things changed on November 4th, 1970.

[00:08:56]After an argument that morning, Genie's mother fled the house and walked into a welfare office asking for help. With her was Genie, who was finally broken out of the house by her mother. The social worker noticed that the young girl couldn't walk well and could not even speak. Eventually, a lawsuit was filed.

[00:09:14]In a turn of events, Genie's father ended his own life before his court date. His final note read, "The world will never understand." As for Genie, she cycled through foster homes, including some that were abusive. Though she tried learning, she was never able to speak. Parentification.

[00:09:34]Your mother has just told you again that she is going to her life tonight. You're very young, so you don't even have the ability to form your feelings into words. You just stay near her and watch her breathe, but this isn't a one-time threat. It's a sentence you've heard for years. Over time, you've got good at managing it. You can read her moods before she enters a room, hide that chaos from anyone outside the house, and respond with the same reassurances every time. Suddenly, you're not her child anymore. You are her caretaker. This is parentification as childhood trauma, and it's when a parent's mental health makes the child become responsible for the parent. It was the childhood of Ally Golden, who grew up with a mother living with severe depression and borderline personality disorder. For this reason, Ally spent her entire youth as what she would later call the good soldier. Her mother's mood was constantly changing, swinging from rage to affection, manipulation, and threats. Ally managed it all, suppressing her own needs to maintain a false stability. When Ally tried to build her own life, the emotional needs of her mother intensified rather than eased. Ultimately, her mother took her life. Ally was left with the grief and the guilt that she was the reason her mother herself. If she was around, maybe it wouldn't have happened. Ally processed the experience by writing her memoir, A Good Soldier, and became an advocate for children of parents with serious mental illness. According to Ally, parentification is abuse that often goes unnoticed because it looks like responsibility.

[00:11:24]Household incarceration.

[00:11:26]You're in the kitchen, very young, holding a spoon and trying to feed your mother. She isn't eating. The younger sisters are in the next room and you're the one making sure they eat and go to school. Technically, you are a child, too, but in practice, you've been the parent for a long time now. One day, a social worker pulls you out of school saying your mother has been arrested.

[00:11:50]The protection you've been waiting for finally arrives, but it breaks everything you've been holding together.

[00:11:57]Now, you are completely clueless and lonely. This is household incarceration, a type of childhood trauma where the imprisonment of a parent suddenly tears apart a child's home and sense of security. This happened to B Boggs, who had been raising her sisters and caring for her addicted mother for years. When police arrested her mother, B and her sisters were suddenly placed in emergency custody, losing the only home they had ever known. Following the conviction and sentencing, B felt responsible for what happened to the family. Unfortunately, there was no way to fix it. B's mother served her sentence and eventually regained custody, but a felony record followed her everywhere. She never got a job, so B became the breadwinner of the family even as a teenager. Over time, B worked multiple jobs through high school and earned admission to Columbia University.

[00:12:53]Though her family became much better, she still says that she never had a childhood. Parental Separation. Your father has been working in Canada for a year and finally, the whole family is moving. The medical exams are done and the boxes are stacked and ready. Your best friend is coming over after school for tea for the final goodbye.

[00:13:14]Strangely, when you come home, mom sends your friend away without any explanation. Your father is back from Canada and both parents sit you down.

[00:13:24]Then you hear it, the marriage is over and the move is off. In shock, you say you want to go to Canada with your dad, but your mother explodes screaming that it's his turn to deal with you. After a lot of arguments, she packs a bag and walks out the door that day. This is parental separation as childhood trauma and unlike a typical divorce, the child is left feeling unwanted, abandoned or responsible for the breakup. This was the experience of Anita Ford in 1974.

[00:13:57]A child caught inside a mutual abandonment she knew nothing about. You see, Anita's dad didn't step up.

[00:14:05]Instead, he just sold the family house, dropped Anita and her brother at their aunt's house and returned to Canada alone. He promised he would send for them soon, but he had other plans. Two years after the incident, Anita's father sent a message from Canada announcing that he didn't want them anymore.

[00:14:25]Apparently, both parents had made their choice and neither wanted the children.

[00:14:30]Anita later shared her story publicly describing the divorce as the most horrifying of her life. One she forever thought was her fault. Years later, she found herself flinching at closeness expecting every relationship to end in the same quiet announcement that made life difficult for her. Bullying. You used to like school, but not since you started coming home with bruises. The hallway you used to run down has become a place you walk carefully, watching corners. Other students have been targeting you for years. Sometimes a teacher notices and while the school promises it's been handled, it hasn't.

[00:15:10]One January morning, you go to the bathroom after a class period. Next thing you know, you're being driven home. Apparently, your mother was told you fainted from a stomach bug. However, what the school's cameras recorded was an entirely different event. This is bullying. And in Gabriel Taye's case, it took a much more disturbing turn. You see, Gabriel was a student at Carson Elementary who had been targeted by peers for years. While his parents thought he was just a rough kid, the school watched the bullying and lied to Gabriel's parents about it. On January 24th, 2017, a bully him unconscious on the bathroom floor. Gabriel lay there for minutes, and several students walked in and out. Some even Shockingly, no one called for help. And after the school reviewed the footage, they chose to tell Gabriel's mother he simply fainted. His mother believed them, and 2 days later, she sent Gabriel back to school. But that very day, he was cornered in the same bathroom again.

[00:16:14]The school saw this, but said nothing.

[00:16:18]On January 27th, 2017, just a day after the second incident, Gabriel Two years later, his family's attorneys uncovered the surveillance footage the school had buried. In the end, Gabriel's parents were handed a $3 million settlement, and the government introduced mandatory anti-bullying reforms. But for Gabriel, it was too late. These childhood traumas shaped entire lives. But some medical treatments have left adults with way more devastating consequences. Find out in every birth control method that is still legal.