Throughout history, many occupations have been extremely dangerous due to lack of safety regulations, exposure to toxic substances, or extreme working conditions. Examples include chimney sweeps who suffered from scrotal cancer from soot exposure, matchstick girls who developed phossy jaw from white phosphorus fumes, and gong farmers who waded through human waste in cesspits. These dangerous jobs often resulted in high mortality rates and long-term health consequences, demonstrating the importance of workplace safety regulations and protective equipment in modern employment.
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Horrible Jobs You Do NOT WantAñadido:
Today we're going to be checking out some dangerous jobs that are probably not worth the pay.
>> Did you know unloading frozen tuna is considered one of the most dangerous jobs in the world?
>> Wait.
>> And the reason is simple.
>> There's no better way >> Inside cold storage gets it well below zero, sometimes minus 30° Fahrenheit or colder.
>> tuna to get it out?
>> Thousands of tuna are frozen into rock-hard blocks. Since they're oval-shaped, you can't stack them neatly like boxes.
>> Okay.
>> Forklifts are completely useless here.
So, workers have to do it by hand. That is like there is no better way to get the tuna out.
>> almost like playing bowling, but here's the danger.
>> robots for everything, but we have to chuck tuna for the tuna tuna just like that. Come on, bro. What you're seeing now is considered one of the world's most dangerous professions, the president of South Korea. South Korea's first president, Lee Seung-man, was overthrown and exiled, eventually dying in Hawaii.
>> Okay.
>> Yun Bo-seon, spent decades in prison.
The third >> gosh.
>> was assassinated by Korean agents and >> Oh my wife. The fourth, Choi Kyu-hah, won the presidency after Park's assassination, but was soon replaced and later imprisoned, only gaining freedom in his later years.
>> What?
>> president, Chun Doo-hwan, was sentenced to death for suppressing protests, later commuted >> What IS GOING ON? SO, YOU JUST can't be a president here?
>> to life imprisonment. The sixth, Roh Tae-woo, eventually sentenced to 17 years in prison. The seventh, [music] Kim Young-sam, tackled corruption, but was exiled for challenging entrenched powers.
>> Never mind.
>> Moo-hyun, committed suicide amid investigations into a secret funds case.
Dog, we're still going in a row? Like there's no one who just had a nice smooth sailing?
>> The ninth, Lee Myung-bak, nearly spent his post-presidency [music] in jail for corruption, eventually sentenced to 17 years in prison and fined 13 billion won. 13 I thought he they would say 13 billion USD, bro. I thought that was about to be wicked. Hold up, I need to look up how much 13 million won is.
>> 13 billion won is around 8.8 million dollars USD. The 10th, Park Geun-hye, was impeached and jailed for corruption and abuse of power during her term.
>> So, my question is are all these presidents really that bad or do they have a very strict guideline for you to follow as presidency, which I mean should be very strict if you're going to, you know, represent a country, but Like Like I look at something like this and it's just like there there has to be a better way, you know?
>> [singing] >> Like This doesn't look too bad. Like it's bad, but it's not like This doesn't feel as bad as the other one.
But if you do fall off [music] it you it's wraps.
What is this snow getting built [music] up?
Barefoot, bare hands?
Oh, now see that that is terrifying.
That right there? Oh my Like I think the idea of being underwater looking down and it's just endless sea like that is terrifying to me, bro.
It's mo- They're making sure it works.
Oh, no.
I heard when that cracks like that would been cracked like that easily easily take off your take your body off.
>> [music] >> Anything Anything like with the ocean though is terrifying. Anything involving the ocean. This job is so dangerous that a safety worker is ready with a hook to pull you back in case of a disaster. The idea is that if the electrician in the arc suit gets electrocuted, they'll likely be stuck and the current will continue flowing through them. He gave a thumbs up as a signal to be ready. Okay.
What the What the What is he doing though? I didn't get no like you're not going to give me any more any more like insight? I don't understand. I was told a safety training course that those aren't meant to save your life, but so your spouse has a body to bury. That is terrifying.
Is that that's molten lava, right?
And what are you trying to take some home?
You're making obsidian? Oh, you're trying to build a nether portal. Okay.
Okay, I understand.
You know, one slip that's your face.
One slip that's your body. That's the craziest thing about most jobs though.
Like almost every blue-collar job is like you're one slip away from your life just being ruined. It just a disaster happening. It's one slip away. Oil well drilling.
Uh.
But you look at jobs like this and you're like we getting robots to do a bunch of things. You would think like this would be one of them.
You know what I'm saying? Like that's just This looks wicked.
I don't even know what I'm looking at though.
It looks wicked though. It look It look cool.
But man oh man.
>> [music] >> I Y'all don't look like y'all would have been here, bro. I don't blame y'all. Oh, he got the He got the top grill iced out. Okay. Bro, having to get to your car just covered in oil, mud, and dirt, bro. Like car can never be clean once off a day of work.
>> [music] >> Jobs 99% people can handle.
Bridge painter.
>> Bridge painting. Let me know why the bridge needs to be painted though. Like Is aesthetics? Like I'm just I'm just saying like why Let's be real. This bridge does not need to be painted, man.
Like let it >> [laughter] >> IT'LL BE FINE WITHOUT SOME PAINT, BRO.
is one of the most dangerous jobs ever.
Bridge [music] painters have to work on bridges that can be more than 500 ft high. And more than 10 bridge painters die per year from extreme fall damage.
>> More than 10?
>> bridge painters had to work without safety cords.
>> They sent them on suicide missions just to paint a bridge. Would you be brave enough to paint a bridge?
>> of course. Like I can do pretty much anything, but I just don't feel like it, you know? They got to be getting paid a handsome amount to for that BS. Kind of like those people who fix like windmills and he checks up on windmills like once a year or something like that or once every 6 months. Like they got to get paid handsomely.
Uh timber, yep.
Dangerous for the person who could be on the ground if there is one. It's dangerous for you cuz if he cuts like a little bit too low, he'd be slung off with the tree.
Got to hear that chainsaw all the way up there?
>> [music] >> I'm not going to buy, bro. I'm dropping the chainsaw. I'm not about to carry that thing all the way down. I'm just letting that thing go.
I wonder how many people like that guy hit before. There's definitely a counter. There's definitely at least one who just was not He did not look both ways. They should be paid. They're not paid? They're volunteers?
Leave the junk on the track if you going to be a No, I'm not doing that for free.
Hey, you see this tower? Yeah. This is a a Rohm 25. Mhm. In case you were curious. It's called a It's called a Rohm 25, r o h n.
And uh Okay. I'm I'm wider than the tower is. If you can't uh If you can't tell. Uh Bro is trying to fill a vlog mid mid vid mid job.
>> 12 in Uh And uh Yeah.
Yeah, these towers these towers suck.
So, anybody that says that they want to they want to be a tower climber. I don't that many people say that.
>> stupid [ __ ] like this. Not that many people say that.
>> have a safety climb. So, you have to you have to click-clack all the way up.
And these uh these little bitty This is this is like a I don't know, maybe 3/8 3/8 of an inch thick here. And so, it's a It's real fun on your on your little tootsies on the on the arches of your tootsies there.
Uh Anybody want to be a tower climber?
Any of y'all have aspirations for that?
It's an interesting career choice. Would never want to be it. You're 19 and you work in the coal mine.
>> [music] >> This is this is wicked. I do want to go through a mine though. I'm intrigued what like a mine looks like first-person, you know what I'm saying?
IRL first-person. I don't want this third-person point of view. I hope he brought a fortune pickaxe with him so he doesn't have to be in the mine as long, man. Make sure you enchant your pickaxe, bro.
What the heck is this?
And why are you doing it with feet? I guess your head don't get caught.
Okay.
Is this is this coal mining? What is he What is What is he mining right now?
What is he mining for gravel that we just put in our driveway? Like no, like actually though. What is he What is What am I looking at? Coal mine labor working hard. Why does he not have clothes on?
Cuz the clothes might get snatched on something? Like he might get stuck if he has like a shirt on? Yeah, this job isn't that hard.
>> Uh window wiper.
No one I don't think anyone's ever said that.
>> As I'm 300 ft in the air and terrified of heights. Okay, to be fair, you chose the occupation. Okay, >> [laughter] >> no one told you to be scared of heights and be a wind turbine technician. Second off, nobody think this job is easy.
We're all thankful for people like you and the coal miners because some of us like you shout job and we're just like, "YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT."
THE OIL RIGGERS, SHOUT OUT TO Y'ALL, MAN. I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
>> [laughter] >> They have the Wait, they can have elevators? SOME PEOPLE HAVE TO CLIMB UP 3-400 FT IN THE SKY off the side of a wind turbine WHEN THEY CAN JUST HAVE AN ELEVATOR ON THE INSIDE.
>> [laughter] >> I FORGOT. [laughter] I FORGOT THEY CAN JUST HAVE ELEVATORS.
Do they climb on the outside of a wind turbine or they climb just on the inside of it? I don't know. I'm going to be honest. Hi guys, what I've got in my hand is the most toxic snake on the planet. This is the inland taipan.
>> Uh, a bite from this snake is capable of killing over 100 people my size. Ah, yes.
>> although we won't be collecting venom Is that that fly like a pit action trying to get your hands to slip?
>> program, uh, this one will be getting sent to a university to check for the various toxins in there. Now, what I'm going to do is get him to bite. So, finger's the target. Ready, steady, go.
There we go. Now, as you can see, there's a little bit of venom going in.
Not a huge amount. Now, these guys don't need a huge amount of venom to do the damage. And, uh, Uh-huh. they are nasty little buggers.
>> Is this another wicked job?
>> Frankly, these guys have actually never resulted in a human fatality that we're aware of and that's, uh, purely because of the antivenom program here at the Australian Reptile Park. Mhm, they've never resulted in a cat casualty that y'all know of, but how many casualties do we casualties do we actually know of, to be honest? Like, they're a casualty if they're missing.
Then you know every missing body going to be found. I don't know, man. So, I had to do a light bulb change out at 300-ft at the top of this tower and honestly, this is going to be the smallest, tightest area up here.
>> If they don't get a solar-powered bulb, if they don't get a way for it to be connected at the bottom.
This tower especially with this beacon.
I literally was standing up, but I did make a way towards where I was actually sitting down later on in this video. I'm going to show you exactly how I was sitting, but just to give you this full view of how it looks up here at 300-ft.
It's not just your average tower. This is a Johnny Andrews tower which is one of the smallest towers in the United States of America, but it's so small up here. It was very uncomfortable.
Probably one of the worst light bulb change outs in my career towards where Oh, yeah, man. I've had a couple of terrible light bulb changes, too. I I was reaching up and I forgot to turn the lights off and shut Oh my goodness, you know what I mean?
I know how it can be, man. Been there, done that. I remember one time I had a bright idea and that light bulb and it just went out and I had to change that one. Do you know how hard it is to change a light bulb over my bright bright idea, man? I I know exactly how you feel.
>> Right here, I'm sitting right up close to this beacon. I have pretty much no wiggle room like to twist or anything like that. So, it's all reaching around to get, you know, the stuff that I need especially these light bulbs, but just to be honest with you, I didn't have any room. I mean, what good is that?
>> The light bulbs were just defective. So, you had to go down and get some more.
I'm literally pressed up against this beacon.
>> how much he gets paid to be a professional light bulber changer.
But, what am I looking at?
Okay, so they have to be floated. They have to be floated to the whatchamacallit.
Floated like what am I supposed to say?
Floated. His body is contorted in all types of ways.
He has the hookup that thingy to >> [music] >> And now he's about to zipline. Oh, no, we're about to zipline. So No clue what's happening.
No clue what's happening at all.
Installing spacers. Mhm. So these are a bunch of power lines. Yep, y'all got it, man. Respect to y'all.
Respect to y'all, man. This is a scene of a large vessel unloading, and it looks quite dangerous. It looks such horrifyingly dangerous. called sand carriers. [music] Mainly used for transporting sand, gravel, and similar bulk materials. A sand carrier [music] is equipped with a self-unloading system. A conveyor belt is installed >> no better method than this. cargo hold is funnel-shaped. [music] There's no better method?
>> cargo automatically falls onto the conveyor belt, enabling I don't know. I just feel like having a guy having to go sumo for the job, and one slip he's going to be swept away. I think that's kind of bad, but maybe he's not moving as fast as I think.
>> what's unloading. For this reason, >> [music] >> sand carriers are generally limited to transporting free-flowing cargo, such as sand and [music] pebbles. Above the conveyor belt lies a row of wooden planks, which serve to keep the cargo separated from the belt. [music] This prevents long-term >> This just feels like unnecessarily dangerous, man. Like this just feels like there's an easy way to solve this.
I don't think it's something to solve this. You know, sometimes you just can't put things in other people's hands. I'll come out with a patent on how to make this safer. Don't worry about it.
>> [screaming] >> All right, look at this. Look at this.
Yeah, no, I'm coming out with a patent, bro.
And you see how he has to do like some Kung Fu Panda type nonsense just to get out the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me like 3 days, dog.
What about What is What is that? Oh, that That's definitely dangerous. Is that thing in the Oh, yeah. Okay. [snorts] Yeah, power lines. But we we we we all know how dangerous these are though.
That thing is shooting out fire.
That still looks cool, too, though. It does look really cool.
That looks so neat.
I bet it's not fun to play with, though.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so when when are we going to spawn a Azula? You know, I mean, I feel like humans are going to evolve eventually where we can control lightning. Like we just have to. Like there's no way that's not in our evolutionary tree, bro, cuz I especially my family, we've been putting a lot of specs into magic, a lot of specs into bending, right? So, I think one day my family, give it like give or take 3 4,000 years, we going to We going to We going to be hitting one of those, trust. They're not just making oil, they're playing with fire. In Pakistan, people are turning tires into money by burning them. One tire can yield up to 3 L of heavy oil, but >> but the process is deadly. First, >> Okay.
>> the old tires into a massive rotary furnace. [music] Okay.
>> Workers climb in, stacking them layer by layer. I just >> Then, they set [music] it on fire with wood, reaching >> This feels unnecessary. Like there has to be a better way.
>> temperatures of 500° C. It takes a full 14 [music] hours for the oil to finally start dripping. The furnace runs on two small kilns.
>> I'm going this in my nose, bro. I need to I need to make patents for two things. I need to make this a burning rubber safer, bro. I need to make the gravel and sand transferring safer, too.
Let me put those in my notes. Yeah.
Okay. Okay. I should be good. I should be good now. Because the hook on a crane swings back and forth while the truck is moving, the crane operator needs to secure the hook before driving. The problem is the hook is so heavy that it's difficult to simply tie it up with a rope. Typically, the worker will swing >> Now I need to make a patent for crane hooks, bro. Like look at how inefficient it is, bro. I have to schedule it out.
I'm going to have my patents for all three of these within a week, bro. Just leave it to me. They got me doing everything. the hook back and forth using the principle of momentum to gradually bring the hook closer to the rope. During the swinging process, the worker applies periodic pushes, which combine to give the hook more and more energy. Yeah.
>> swing gets bigger, the hook gets closer to the rope and eventually gets caught.
This principle is similar to how a worker can't easily lift a tire onto a truck with just their strength.
>> They have to bounce it out there.
>> will repeatedly bounce the tire on the ground, turn Make a patent for this, bro. We have things that can lift this, bro. They just It just It's just like faster or it's cheaper. It's I'll Let me make a patent for something cheaper, bro. Give me 2 weeks and I'm about to fill all these out. I'm sorry, like it takes a while to get your patent together and get it approved and whatnot. Give me 2 weeks, bro, and then we'll all be straight.
Okay.
Oh my goodness.
>> [music] >> Yeah, this is This is just one of them jobs where it's just like, "Hey, bro.
[music] Shout out to you."
One One slip and you This is also one of those things I can get easily get a patent on cuz I actually I think I have a paper on this that I made like about 3 years ago for a patent to make this a lot safer, a lot easier. I never had it go through because I just forgot about it. You know, when you when you're so busy making different patents every single day trying to make the world better, Some just get lost in the sauce. So, I'm going to get this sent out there. Don't worry.
The world's a largest woman in plant.
>> [music] >> Yeah, see see this is pretty efficient as is.
But I actually I actually created a pattern for something like this to make it safer probably a thing like six or eight months ago.
Don't worry, bro. I can I can get you out of there. I can get you I can What I can't get you out of there, but I can get you in a more relaxing less taxing environment, bro. Don't don't worry. I have the paper in the other room. I know exactly which filing cabinet it's in.
Don't worry about it, bro. I'm about to make your life a lot easier. As in it workers trying to stop a tide of lava.
Oh, see this this is crazy.
This is crazy.
I wonder I wonder how fast the lava is actually moving though.
Like miles per hour cuz this is obviously sped up. So it probably looks a lot more dangerous than what it is even though it's still regardless it's still very dangerous.
But I think my main question for that is because I was talking to LeBron the other day he said he'd help me fund any project I want, right? Any project I want cuz he's seen some of my patterns before. He's like, "Oh my goodness, Walker you are the future, bro. If you need an investor, I'm right here." So I was thinking about working with LeBron to of making something that I don't already have a pattern of. I've never seen this. I've never knew this was a problem. So I'm probably going to work with the Atlantic worker to see like the ins and outs of this type of job so I can get a nice pattern written up some real safe and then we can spread it off to all people dealing with volcanoes. Of course I'm about to go to each volcano to see if I can get a clear view on how I can fix it from there. So each country or each city whatever can have their own patent for their specific volcano.
LeBron going to help me out with that.
Give me like a year and a half, bro. Cuz I already have a lot of things just stacking up. Give me a year and a half.
Yeah, respect to y'all, bro.
This is wicked.
And the worst part about this is like I tried to get something past to make this a lot easier and a lot safer, but they said with the unsafe conditions it allows more people jobs. And it's like do I really want to take jobs away from people just to make something safer? Cuz I definitely got a patent sent out for this one.
So, man, these jobs are scary, bro. I'm not going to lie, bro. You work anything like this, man, shouts to you. I I'm horrible with heights.
What the heck am I looking >> [music] >> Oh, so they they just walking they just walking like like that's number floor?
>> [music] >> Oh, they No, they different.
No, they different, bro.
Where's the safety clink things? Like I don't see any safety hooks. No way they just walking that smoothly no care in the world. Not really sure what the hard hats are for. If you thought the footage of the Chrysler building was insane, Ooh, is he just standing on the side?
>> banking building in 1930. Close to [music] 900 ft above the ground, these men show no fear climbing around the structure of the Chrysler building or 40 Wall Street. Considering these men were paid on average $900 a year, which is roughly $17,000 adjusted for inflation.
$17,000? I would have put faults in that building on purpose. You got me up here and I mean, I guess How much was food though? What was cost of living like? I need to know. What was this? 1920s 1930s? Average cost of living for the US citizen in 1930s.
Average annual income was around $1,300 to $1,700. And they got what? $900?
Yeah, I I'm definitely putting faults in that building over this.
>> Quite baffling the lengths they would go for their job. Four workers died while constructing the building, which is not all that surprising considering the lack of safety and how much was being used.
[music] >> This was quite a normal mortality rate at the time for projects of such scale.
This was clearly nothing new to these workers as this footage [music] from 1925 construction in New York >> We have footage from 1925, but we don't have a footage of Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point game. That's wicked.
>> shows workers practically [music] had to tightrope walk around their construction site to get the job done. Considering the Occupational Safety and Health [music] Administration, better known as OSHA, Did they at least have health insurance?
>> 1971, it's truly awe-inspiring to think what these workers went through to provide for their families when times [music] were tougher than ever. And they were going through the Great Depression, too.
And then you wonder why they were always angry. Like, this is why they always angry. They risking their life on the daily. They going through the Great Depression. Are you not going to be angry? That doesn't mean you should hit your wife, but I can understand why you angry.
Sorry, what? It was a scary day for a window cleaner in Beijing. Strong winds left several people swinging from a skyscraper.
Well, they got slammed back into the like windows of the skyscraper. Yeah, uh Onlookers watched the crew slowly descend the towering CCTV >> There had to be like a weather reporting and someone saying like, "Hey, today's not the weather for cleaning windows."
Like, come on. while the cable swayed precariously.
The skyscraper is one of the tallest in Beijing at 200 I do have something in the making to like prevent winds from interfering jobs. Like, I have something in the makings to help like slow down hurricanes and reduce the destruction by around 86%. It is in the works, but I'll fill y'all in more further through the building stage.
Is that a flying suitcase? No, those those are Oh.
See, this is more and more I was what I was expecting from before.
Okay.
And they're just in there just praying for the best. Workers are dangling.
They just shattered the windows in the building.
Fire department is coming to help.
Yeah, it's crazy. That's terrifying.
But isn't there someone up there that could just pull them up though, right?
Like what is the people at the top job or is it like it's too dangerous because of how windy it is? They don't want to pull them up.
>> Right there, stop. We're good. Storm chasing.
How much do you get for storm chasing? I always thought storm chasing was more like A THRILL-SEEKING THING.
>> [screaming] >> THAT'S A HUMONGOUS TORNADO.
Like it's so defined, it's so it's so defined it doesn't look real.
I think I think I can understand why people storm chase. I'm not going to lie, that is that is kind of cool.
It is it is kind of cool, I'm not going to lie. Would I storm chase though? But I I can see the appeal.
Bro was waiting for his What is What is happening?
Like where are you filming this from?
The midst of war?
Did a bomb just go off?
Or are they like Or is it like a fake fan?
>> [music] >> What is hap- Okay, so it's fake. What is happening RIGHT NOW?
WHAT THE OKAY, so it's a mean green screen, okay.
Okay, cuz I don't I don't believe this is real. Cuz there's no way they just have her standing in the midst of a tornado. Today we're going to be checking out some crazy worker fails.
We have a whole tower coming down ON YOU.
THAT couldn't have been the plan.
Now tree's going down on the pool. That couldn't have been the plan.
Back-to-back, those two couldn't have been the plan. Like it felt like the first building was deconstruction, like they were trying to tear it down. I don't think they wanted to fall on them though. No way that was the thought process. In the pool, man. Then again, where else was it going to fall? It wasn't going to fall like the neighbor's fence. That was kind of like the only area to take it down from, I guess.
Quite tolerant parents.
>> Just drove Just driving Driving right through the barriers. Did y'all Just F the barriers? Hello? Hello? Nobody cares about the barriers?
That's embarrassing, bro.
Um don't He looks The bro on the level like he about to Yeah, he he look like he not ready for it. He can't this He He's He's not ready.
He's not ready. He was not prepped for this, bro. The lights got too bright.
The lights are too bright, bro. I don't even understand what they're trying to do. Are they trying to create a mudslide with the dirt here? Like I don't Oh, no. Oh, NO. OH, NO. OH, NO. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT THING UP THERE?
Can I like know if they're all right or something? CAN Y'ALL GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH? HOW DID THEY EVEN GET THAT BIG THING ON THE SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?
I feel like that truck about to fall in there. I feel like You know what? Could have been worse.
Careful.
Careful.
Moving pretty careful. No, you're not.
You're fired.
You're fired. Oh, no. You're fired. Oh, no. Please don't get fired. Please don't get fired. Okay, you moving that glass in? Okay, yeah.
Why is glass a jump scare? Why did that happen? Bro, as long as it doesn't get in your eye, bro. I'm hoping your eyes are okay.
Maybe he's looking at us. Like, I'm sorry. Like, things happen, dog.
Oh, he's about to fall. He's about to fall for sure. He's falling for sure.
He's falling for sure.
OH MY OH.
YEAH, YOU BETTER COME right back down that hill. You are not making up there.
Yep. Yep. And he Bro buried himself. Bro buried himself.
Oh, I'm getting Man, I miss the [music] Black Ops map, Buried, bro. That was one of my favorite Call of Duty zombie maps, man. Buried was [music] so cool, man. Oh my goodness.
Even though those witches were terrible.
Man, I miss the nostalgia playing Call of Duty zombies, man. It's getting to me, bro.
I'm I'm I'm sad now, man.
Okay, there's a big ball. Okay, we got the What Like, what was that What was that wheelbarrow going to do? What was What was the plan? I don't understand.
>> [laughter] >> What happened? What happened? Oh, they didn't They didn't Oh, y'all are laughing, but that big thing going right into the traffic is is not funny.
Oh, luckily they Luckily it stopped. Oh my goodness, luckily it stopped.
That's terrifying. His life flashed before his eyes. Not his job, like the neglige- negligence. He definitely would have faced time for that.
Um I just feel like a fail in this type of situation is like uh Oh, oh, okay. Okay.
Right. Right. I was going to say a a fail in this type of situation feels like fatal. It's going to be fatal regardless, but luckily we're okay.
Um Okay, they're brushing like pollen off.
Are they brushing something off? I have no clue what's happening. I'm going to be honest.
I don't know what that is. Is that just sand? The whatchamacallit had a hole in it or it accidentally hit something and then started leaking sand or whatever that substance was everywhere. Got you.
Um, you're not getting that back. Oh my goodness, you're not getting that back.
Oh, no.
Oh, he's falling down the hill. No, no, no, no, please don't fall down the hill.
Seth.
You're still here.
That's all that And then it's bouncy.
I've never seen it hit a bounce like that.
>> Ingenuity and cunning level 100. Please get bro a new pair of jeans. Why is he pushing from inside the truck? He's not pushing anything.
That's not that that that it's overflowing.
It's It's overflowing.
It's overflowing. Is it supposed to be doing that?
No one's doing anything, so I guess >> A shower of paint invigorates better than coffee.
Why are you moving the ladder with paint on top of it, dog? Like come on, man. I know you didn't want to take that trip down and trip back up, but let's be so for real, man.
Come on now.
You know that wasn't the smartest thing to do.
Oh, okay. This feels like you're about to fall. This feels like you're definitely tumbling down. You're definitely tumbling down.
Yep.
Are you good? Is he still on his feet?
That's good.
>> Your last nerve cell.
What just happened?
What was loaded in that tire?
Why did the tire do that? What happened?
What what What What what what occurred?
Okay, that's cool. Okay, that's fine.
That's fine. Could be worse.
I was scared.
Yo, why is glass shattering terrifying?
Can't even sit here in peace. I don't know when the next glass is going to shatter.
>> I see the goal. I see no obstacles.
It's It's a rough day for everyone there, bro. It's a rough day for everybody involved. Oh, man.
Um I I Again, are we sure that that Oh, it's falling. It's And it's going to keep falling back. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He outplayed, but didn't destroy.
Pro almost fell in the hole. He didn't even peep that his chair was gone.
That's funny. That's funny.
Um um That thing look like it's coming right for your head. Oh, it's going the wrong way. Yep, there goes the fence.
Yep. And this is where they realize they wish they hired a professional.
>> [laughter] >> At least they always have that memory on camera where they wish they hired a professional, man.
I'm assuming that was not supposed to happen.
A mini chainsaw?
Got chainsaws for kids now? That thing going to That belt That thing going to fly off, huh?
I don't think that's going to work. I I feel like that That's going to take a long time.
That's how you do it, though. That's how you learn. Unless they're at a mechanic shop, cuz if they're at the shop, this would be a terrifying sight. But if you're at Yo, if you have your home and you have your home set up like how else are you going to learn? And you got to prop up that tube. That's how the best of them learn nowadays.
That That don't even look trustworthy, for real.
That don't even look trustworthy, for real.
Didn't trust it from the start.
Um, he's about to run into the pole.
Right, right. Not paying attention to where you like it's a giant pole right in front of you. How did you not HIT THE BRAKE AT ALL?
IT WAS A GIANT POLE. Effective demolition. Oh, yeah, bro. That that worked. Yep, and you're coming down a Oh, he didn't come down, too. Oh, he's blessed.
Um, like what DO Y'ALL DO TO STOP THAT?
WHAT WHAT LIKE UNPLUG IT.
>> Innovator of the construction world.
Unplug it.
You got this. You got this. Come on.
Come on, you got this. You got this. You got this. You got this.
I don't know what he got. I don't understand what's happening. Oh, he's trying to catch fish.
There's a hole in the bag. Oh, no.
They forgot to close it. Are they going to realize it or is it going to be too late?
It's too late. It's too late. IT'S TOO LATE. IT'S TOO LATE.
OH, HE'S HIS JOB IS GONE. OH, MY GOSH. THERE GOES his pay, bro. Oh, my goodness. He almost could have He could have saved it. He could have saved it.
Yeah, that's not that's not work. I know you like how did you why did you do that?
Like why did you do that? You saw that it wasn't going on correctly, bro. Like you had all the information you needed to not do that mistake, bro.
What the heck am I looking at?
Yo.
>> [laughter] >> That's how the bottom of my desk looks like with a whole bunch of tangled cords, man. How do y'all keep this organized? There's no way this is not a fire hazard. This is dangerous.
Okay, ready? Yes. Someone's about to break the stairs? Yeah.
They painted the stairs. They didn't want to go down the steps until they dried. She threw the bucket. That bucket literally went to the third step. Like no power behind it, bro. Why did they let her throw it?
>> This guy must not be distracted while he's working.
>> Oh, no.
Hey, is it Do you not see your car leaking?
Do you Did you Like do you not see it leaking with glass? You filled You grab grab What?
What what what? What did I say?
What? What what what did I say?
>> Leaking with gas, bro? Over there wasting money. Like are you trying to flex? Is that what this is? Is this like a miniature flex? Look at how much gas I can waste.
Yes, we saw you, bro. Don't look around.
We saw you. We saw it.
Yep. Yep, he about to Oh, this is about to be embarrassing.
Oh, the second hand the second hand the second hand. Oh.
Uh hopefully one of the bulldozers or whatever don't fall down. It's falling down. It's In fact, it was only ever going to fall down. There was no chance of it not falling down. But hey, it's still set up though.
>> When the courier left the package next to the trash can.
No way they taking their package, too.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He 100% thought someone was touching his butt. He 100% thought someone thought someone was reaching for his butt or maybe a snake, bro. Oh my goodness. Came to the defense of that crack immediately. You know, I have to give props to him. He's a professional crack defender. I'm more of a crack snort.
>> [groaning] [screaming] >> Cuz it was right there. It was right there. Everything went wrong at the last second. Everything that could have went wrong went wrong at the very last second.
Uh.
That's garbage.
Oh, they're haunted by ghosts. That's ghosts right there.
Um is he supposed to be doing that? Like he get he getting windows, too? I don't think that's part of the job description.
Running right into that glass. Boom, broke.
Yep. Yep, that's coming out your paycheck.
Oh.
She's walking with that with her What is that a What is she walking with a TV on the hot How is she even pulling that?
You knew it was going to be go bad from the moment she Like she just did everything wrong. Look at what she got going on. She hit the cup multiple times and then you got that chunky mess going everywhere. That was not Mace Windu.
What are you giving them?
Uh, pay cut, buddy. That's the look of a man who's getting a pay cut.
Yeah, just knock that bad boy down. Come on. Put a little bit back into it. Yeah.
He look like he'd been having a long day, bro. I I respect that. He'd been having a long day.
Came over there just to piss you off, bro. That's what he did.
Where So, where is he driving to?
Where is he driving to?
What did they think was going to happen?
They drove in the middle of the Are they trying to build a dam with vehicles?
Like, how do you even get in this situation?
Why does a deer like you that much?
You got to You got to push him off after that. I don't care who you are, bro. You get shoved off. Oh my That's bull.
No.
>> goes that cell phone. Hell no. Oh, that just pissed me off, bro. Knock that man out. I don't care how lazy of a work you are. You're not going to touch my stuff.
>> [laughter] >> And he immediately threw his phone out, though. That's That's hilarious. That's That's decent instinct. Even though you didn't have enough instinct to like stay still, he went immediately and threw his phone out. That's funny.
Like, what was the plan here? Obviously, that's going to break. Like, what is Like, what What did y'all think was going to happen? Ran into that.
So, this car was a fact came from a Pennsylvania farm that >> Yeah. Yeah, Pennsylvania farm. Shout out to pencils. Holy smoke.
What happened?
Must have been the strap or something.
You okay? Totally ruined that. Did a number on That sucks.
>> RIP the tub, man.
Um that don't look like it's supposed to work like that, but Yeah, don't let him around these vehicles no more. Don't let him around these vehicles at all, actually.
Bro, look.
>> [laughter] >> Just that thing just gobbled it up, bro.
Yeah, break. That thing is going to break, dog.
Boom.
Good job. Oh, I'm so shocked that I jumped on glass and it broke. Like get out of here.
Um I feel like there's some there's still a hook like stuck like there's there Hey, y'all are like there's a chain there. I don't know if that's supposed to be still there. Yeah, I don't I don't feel like it's supposed to still be there. Are you just going to watch it happen? Y'all just Like is is this like the point? Y'all are just going to sit back and just watch how fair and fail or work or fail or whatever. Maybe I don't know what they were doing. I don't know. Who who knows? I could be the one in the wrong.
Today we're going to be checking out fast workers. This is the fastest washer I know.
>> Okay, so look.
I said fast workers. That does not necessarily mean uh efficient.
It's it's fast.
Not necessarily You LOST THE BISCUIT.
NO, THEY THEY GETTING LIKE THE LOOK AT THE >> [laughter] >> THEY'RE JUST PLAYING AROUND, BUT LOOK LOOK LOOK. FASTEST. Not the most efficient. Two different things.
Oh no, see this this is fast and efficient. But me, I think I'd cut a a finger off on accident. Like you're moving a little bit too fast. This is real life this is real life uh fruit What's that fruit game? Fruit ninja. Real life fruit ninja right here.
Does he Does he ever slow down?
What's crazy is you know there's a way more efficient way of doing this, but you have to have the highest aura points that you can you have to max out as much aura as you possibly can. And I respect it. I respect going for the max out.
How was she so fast?
Thank you.
How was she so fast? What was fast?
Oh my Sorry.
Yeah, I didn't know what I was wait like what was No, that's a fast worker though. She on her toes. She's on her P's and Q's, maybe even B's too.
Whatever that means.
Fastest cashier. Okay. Oh, he's prepping Oh.
Ooh.
One more time. All right, bro. One more time Oh oh okay, he has to warm up the wrist. Okay.
>> [laughter] >> Okay. All right, bro. Nah, bro. Nah, bro bro has been at it for a minute. He felt it in his wrist. He was like, "Nah, I can't I can do a little bit better than that one. I can You know what I'm saying?" I bet you could have a mean quick draw if you want to. Wait, he scanned both I Wait, he scanned two I I thought it was I thought it was just the Red Bull.
IT WAS BOTH >> [groaning] >> EXCELLENT WRIST WORK.
>> THESE TWO ladies are some of the fastest workers on the planet because when these bricks come so fast, >> Bricks. this lady quickly collects them without missing a single >> know for a fact I'd miss.
>> Okay. When she gets tired, this friend starts collecting on her turn. And see she simultaneously collects and counts.
>> cuz I didn't I know for a fact I'd miss.
>> impressive to witness their talent. And one can say they have incredible >> counts and get the beautiful right. This is S-tier synchronization. They might even pee at the same time.
Like what are you talking about, man?
This is the fastest cashier I know.
>> It's the It's fake fast. He got them socks. It's the fake It's the fakest fastness. Bro is moving his head thinking it it makes him move faster.
That's all it is. See, he jerking his head around thinking it's making him move faster.
He's focused on moving everything faster but his hands.
He's wasting so much extra energy, bro.
Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh. Oh my.
I mean, they're not the [music] cleanest wraps, but we're looking for speed, not efficiency. So, even though they might not have been the cleanest, they were still clean enough.
Like like catching it with your elbows is absolute absurdity.
He he Like Like what Like why though?
Like why is that He looking at me, too.
It's like he's he's taunting in a game.
You ever play Madden and you just start taunting near the end zone? That's what that feels like looking at me hitting one of those.
Is that easier than catching with two hands?
And bro just said he said he chucking.
Bro hasn't messed up yet.
I guess he does the elbow thing when he doesn't have his hand prepared to catch.
That's the only thing I can think of.
Unless he literally does it just to flex. Is it just to flex?
Like Like that felt like fake talking fast. You know what I mean? That felt like fake talking because I felt like I could easily understand every word he's saying. I know like that's kind of his job to make it easy to understand, but man, I've heard faster. These Japanese firefighters are showing how fast and precise you need to be to execute a >> What the world? rescue in the face of an emergency.
>> And as a part of their rapid response training Yeah, they're moving rapid. I was literally just about to say that.
The goal of these high-pressure drills is to have the firefighters train like their lives depend on it because in a real rescue It kind of does. Yeah. Oh my goodness. What like what type of monkey crawl is that? OH MY GOOD. YO, I'M TALKING ABOUT GLIDING. Now spider monkey definitely definitely learned a thing or two from them.
What are those though?
WHAT ARE THOSE >> [screaming] >> THEY HAVE OTHER WORKERS THERE JUST because bro flicking that thing. I still don't even know what he flicking though.
What is that? What is like the goal of whatever he has in his hand on the conveyor belt.
This is funny. I mean it's not it's not fast work, but it's it's efficient work.
That's very efficient not having to put no hands up or nothing just stand there.
You can eat there and snack. Now you better keep making sure you go to the right spot before head lands on your head and it cracks your neck, but you know, if it ain't dangerous it ain't paying. That's that's cab. No, that's actually that's a very big lie. Don't don't believe that at all actually.
No, the other one's a lot faster. The other one's a lot faster.
No, I know I he's locked bro. He's locked. I'm scared for his fingers but it looks like he has a technique he's locked but come on bro. That cucumber was getting spit it out. Let's be honest. God guys. This is the fastest sandwich maker I've ever seen. Like this is the most wasted movements I've ever seen. So first off like let's break it down. Let's break it down the form.
Okay, let's go one by one. Look we we jump when we stumble. Look he's double and stumbling but look at look at where his hands stay like his hands stay his hands get behind the bread, right? But there's nothing back here. So why should your hands be behind here? Your your hand his hands should stay extended to make sure it goes to the next continent cuz everything he needs is out there, right?
Like why did he bring his elbow all the way back here? It doesn't help him move to the side faster, you know what I mean? So, that's not that he he's just not like he's stumbling he's stumbling everywhere, bro. Lock in, dog. Lock in.
Like come on now. Like >> This dude literally >> Like making a mess. He literally moving around like a like a Looney Tunes character. Okay, he got Bro, picked it up then put it back down.
Like wasted movements. So much wasted movement. This is He didn't even have the other bread cut. Like what? Oh my god.
>> Bro, bro, fake typing. There's a lot of improvement to be had there. A lot of improvement.
Ooh. Ooh. Uh.
Uh. UH. OH. WOAH. WHAT? WHAT? HOLD ON.
I don't even understand like why your hand have to be that close Ooh. Ooh. Oh.
What is Oh, looking up. Looking up.
People are so comfortable showing off the fact that hey, I don't care if I lose a finger. I find that insane.
I don't even understand what you're doing right there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, pull that thing.
NOW, THAT WAS NASTY. THAT WAS DISGUSTING. OH MY GOODNESS.
WHAT THE WORLD IS THIS?
OH. BELIEVE.
I'm sorry. I wasn't I'M NOT LOCKED. I DON'T even know what I was looking at right there. Okay. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
And he flips it just to add the aura. I respect it. Uh-huh. What do you Ooh.
Ooh. Ooh. Okay. Okay, so he a dough master cuz that's probably like cookie dough or something. A master of dough.
He throws THREE OUT.
HE THROWS THREE AND THEN SAYS THREE TIMES IN A ROW HE THROWS THE THREE. THEY LAND ON SPACE BAR.
I I mean I mean unbelievable. I mean, that's that's unbelievable, but that's an amazing performance right there. I mean, I GOT THE DUDE BRO WITH THE POTATO? OH MY GOSH. GOING STUPID.
OH, I LIKE HOW CLEAN that look. Not fast, but it is clean. Yo, hold up. Let me flick you.
I don't need to finish that sentence.
You playing jump rope with lava with lava bars?
How much you get paid for that?
Why is that part of the job description?
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Okay.
How many How many watermelons did they go through today? The condom stacking?
I CAN COMPETITIVE CONDOM STACK?
OH, NO. IS SHE MAKING A BOAT WITH IT? I DON'T know what those are.
OH, A LOAF.
THEY PLAYING DOMINO WITH BRICKS. HOLD UP. I think I need to sell me a brick get 10K real quick. Uh real quick. Hold up. Uh uh uh I'm talking about that risk. About to flick. About to shoot.
That that was beautiful. That was beautiful. That was also beautiful. It look like um look like cards. You know what I'm saying? I've never learned how to shuffle. IT LOOK LIKE CARDS.
>> [screaming] >> OH MY GOSH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? QUICK WITH A JERK. QUICK with the flicks.
Plays down. Plays down with efficiency.
With efficiency. I don't I don't want to see no messing up. That's what I like to see.
Oh, yeah. Water jugs in. Oh, those water jugs aren't the lightest. You know what I'm saying? They're not the heaviest, but they're not the lightest. That's why he That's why he has to be somewhat built. He's slinging them things. Oh.
>> [groaning] >> They were still going faster, bro. They cut off too early. They were still going faster.
This is the fastest >> Fake fast. Oh my goodness. Like he You see how he shake But he's doing so much better than old bro. You see how his hands stay in the mix? Mr. Subway, his hands were >> [laughter] >> You know what I mean? He's in the mix.
Like that's how you're supposed to be.
Right there, right right right right right. You see even though he has a lot of wasted head movement, right? You see how his hands still stay right in front of it even when he put the lights in. Even when he did the little shimmy shake.
The hands are in front. Beautiful work.
Beautiful.
Excellent.
EXCELLENT. AND THE SLIDE FOR EFFICIENCY >> [applause] >> SUBWAY, MR. SUBWAY COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO. MR. Subway could absolutely learn a thing or two.
Ooh, okay.
I'mma I'mma keep it a buck. I don't know what to compare this to like I I don't know if this is fast or not. So I'mma just I'mma just I'mma just say it is.
But I have no clue.
Uh Bro, he's like, "How am I supposed to go?" And he wants to copy him but he he's taking up all the And you know what's the worst part? They still probably getting to be paid the same. They probably still getting paid the same. What? I mean, let's keep it a buck. Even though he's putting in so much work. Now, granted, him putting in so much work is also preventing the other worker from working, which is crazy. Like if you don't put him last in line, think of it like a track race, bro. You always put your fastest leg as the as the last leg. But him being in front is literally interfering with the next guy. That's bad setups. Or at least give him more space in between.
Another another wasted head movements.
Wasted head movements.
Fake fast. Fake fast.
Fake fast. Just because you're jittery doesn't mean you're moving fast.
And you're like, "What is the most point in going that fast?" See, the thing is why this Now, the reason why this makes me upset because it's it's really a lot of wasted movements in that aspect of the other person's not even done scanning everything. So there's no need to write like if you go at a normal pace like literally he would be accomplishing the same amount if he was going this.
Just look at how fast he's going. If he was doing this instead of wasting all that movement, he would be doing so much better.
Like no one's in a rush.
But because he's also rushing, he's like confusing his own brain. So, it's like he's moving but nothing is getting done.
You got to stay calm, cool, and collected. When have you ever seen someone get something done and he's he's moving like this? The only time you see is that when they play when they playing the violin. That's the only time people head really be tweaking.
See? See what I'm saying? You see how the you see the head tweak? You see the head tweak? And even still it's very minimal. But the thing is when you're moving fast, your head is going to move fast, too. But your head should not be jerking faster than every other thing that's actually being functional. Look at Ooh.
You see how there's when she she's still playing fast but she needs to be calm, cool, and collected. The head stiffens because the head doesn't need to be moving.
You see how she get when but when she get back in the action, but the head the head is tilting. But is it because the head needs to tilt or is it because the violin needs to tilt cuz it makes it easier? You see what I'm saying? Like things are going hand-in-hand. But these other people, they're just wasting space they're just wasting energy, man.
They You see now look, he's not being fast no more.
Oh, it's because he got the water. He was still like Oh, see see he moving too fast. He almost falls into the cart.
Like come on, man.
Okay.
It's like cool. For a while. What is the calculator even saying? When I was growing up, my calculators didn't talk.
>> [music] >> Don't work harder, work smarter. Oh. Oh my. Oh.
Okay, they're not in a perfect I thought they were about to be in a perfect line.
That would have about That was going to be wicked. But I this is this is this is smart. This is smart. I thought he was about to line them up perfectly. That would have been crazy.
Okay.
Okay.
See, you see how his head's not jerking that much though? He's getting straight to it. Now but now he wants to he wants to do the flippy flappers with his arms.
Like get off my screen, bro. Pissing me off.
That boy, the fastest employee on Earth.
No, I ain't I ain't never seen a McDonald's employee move that fast, family. I'm the only one that's working the lanes and the window right now, so Well, you working that thing. Oh, he is working that thing.
That man that doing your thing, bro. Oh, [ __ ] How much is that you think?
That was Hey, we ain't even worried about a dollar, man. It's the one piece.
[laughter] Oh, man. You already know. You already know he got fired for giving that dollar. They're going to put him in the most unaviatable situation. They're going to be like, "Hey, buddy. Look what you did to this dollar. You Yeah, you gave you gave a dollar dollar when you should only gave 15 cents. Fired."
Talk to me.
Okay.
Talk to me. Come on.
Oh, yep. Right. Right.
Right.
I like that.
Good cuts. W cuts.
Woah, woah, woah, woah. How much is that?
What is That's two times in a row. That's I can't I bet you can't go three three for three though. I bet you can't go three for three. I bet you can't That's nasty.
He's sick with it.
Oh. Oh, that's how you skin, baby.
Looking at me while he skin. Okay, do you need a uh that big, though?
Like, I It's just a hypothetical question, though. Like, that thing That thing huge. Why do you look away when you shaving it? Like, I feel like that should be the time you do look at it.
Like, he look at it when he cuts the edges, then he looks away. Why are you looking away? What do you What do you gain from almost losing fingers? Oh my efficient with it. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh, better He has a better rate than Steph at the Oh my goodness.
LOOK AT YEAH, THAT YOU DESERVE TO FLEX on them.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I've never seen no banana tree cutter before.
This is a This is a profession I haven't checked out at all.
Nice.
I don't know if that's fast or slow, though. I mean, he's literally the first of his of his kind I've ever seen. I've never seen I've never seen a This would never have been a banana.
Banana tree cutter. That's what I was trying to say. Talk to me. Talk to me.
Ooh, yep. Yep. Yep.
Yep. Those croissants with chocolate in them though, they don't sound They don't even sound good, but but you know, they look good, though. Like like they Seeing you do Look at him. He has a happy smile on his face, bro. He whipping that thing. He's exactly where he wants to be.
Okay.
I don't even know. They're They're doing strawberry I've never genuinely never seen this before. I have no clue what I'm looking at. Okay, they're going strawberry picking, and they're all running. Oh, this is cardio.
Low-key, what The running would kind of make it a little funner, no? Cuz it's like, "Dang, now I don't have to like worry about cardio later in the day cuz I got it all at work."
Uh but I guess it could get repetitive.
I guess it all depends. It all depends on like how stressful it really is.
Because I feel like to a certain extent it could be it could be fun, but at the same time, work is all it work is work.
So, but she she's moving. She is moving. I do wonder how much they get paid though.
I wonder if it's worth it. Like they probably get paid per box they turn in.
No, I mean the way they move and that got to be the case.
Oh, that's not scary at all.
Oh, that's not scary at all. Oh my Like like you play with that every absolutely Oh my Yeah, no robot can say that from me. I'm not going to lie. They can take this job from me. That is horrifying.
Okay, so this is not even about working fast. This is about stabbing people in the head. Like that like someone has definitely got caught with a head stab before.
What the world? What type of job? What What is happening here? This looks extremely dangerous.
This is like an accident waiting to happen.
This is like a horrible accident waiting to happen.
He not moving fast though. You need to move faster for me. You supposed to be fast with it.
Then you all it takes is one wrong wrong person, one person being in the way. Oh, it's not even going through the door.
Yeah, this is not efficient. Not efficient. Not fast.
Wow. Like you I need you to move a little bit faster, bro. I get that there's steps and whatnot, but but we got to chop chop.
We got to chop chop.
I know your neck hurt.
Oh, more steps? You should just jump down all the steps instead of walking like that. Just jump Oh, HOW MANY STEPS DO Y'ALL HAVE BRO GOING DOWN?
OH, y'all just waiting for an accident to have Oh, that's a view. Oh, THAT'S A VIEW. MORE STEPS? [screaming] NOW, THEY BETTER LEAVE A CRAZY TIP, BRO.
I'm talking 50%.
This might be in a country where they don't have tips.
Still leave 50%.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, now his knees are all dirty. Hey, get it how you live, man. You get it how you live.
Oh, we're just chucking the bricks. Hold on.
Hold on. Okay, this has got to be edited cuz they're just like they're like sucking in too perfectly. This got to No, there's no way he has that good accuracy. There's no way this is not No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, that's different. That is diff- History's most ridiculous jobs that no longer exist.
Ridiculous jobs that no longer exist.
Running messengers. In this day and age, we really take for granted just how quick and easy it is to be able to communicate.
>> back in the days of yore, not everyone was rolling around at the speed of sound.
>> It could take several weeks to be able to relay critical information to your buddies and a lot What are they going to do? Attack us? By the time you hear this, it's all over.
>> can change in just a few weeks.
>> It's all over.
>> Nevertheless, delayed information was better than no information at all.
That's why highly trained long-distance messengers could make or break empires.
First used thousands of years ago in ancient times, couriers were the best and fastest form of communication pretty much up >> Over there just just booking it. Just having the having the longest of of endurance. They're over there getting snaked by just a group of bad bones and chimps. till the invention of the telegraph in 1837.
Sure, boats and trains made things a tad bit faster, but the principle was pretty much unchanged. Physically transporting documents from point A to point B.
>> Yeah.
>> The earliest and most sophisticated courier system of its time was that of the massive and girthy Achaemenid Empire, also known as girth girth or at least considered to be the first Persian Empire. They constructed the Angarium, a series of relay stations littered across the royal road, the main vein of the empire. This connected two major cities within the empire, Susa and Sardis. Can you Can you Can you deliver this message to Sardis?
Yeah, no problem at all. Sar- Sardis nuts.
Sardis nuts. I already I already said it. Like I said the joke first.
>> Royal road stretched across 1,700 miles of the empire's western half with patrolling guards and security at regular intervals, making it heavily secured. I mean, it kind of had to be.
Messengers traveling down the road were carrying the orders from the great king himself. So, What if like the way they deliver messages was like they just had a hundreds of people and it was just one person got it and it was just a all out sprint to the next person and they were just passing it like a baton in a relay.
And that's [laughter] And that's how they pass it. That'd be hilarious. Anyone severing or intercepting that line of communication could cause devastation.
>> they still have horses though. They could be relaying horses. In fact, also at regular intervals were checkpoints.
These were relay stations that housed freshly charged horses as well as other messengers ready to pass things along down the line. This system of stations dropped delivery time from roughly 90 days on foot to just 7 to 9 days on horseback. That's not bad. See, a man like me, I'd be opening messages and just start adding some nonsense, you know what I'm saying? Like I'd sprinkle a couple of emojis in the messages just so it's just so that they think it's code for something. But what if you didn't have horses? Well, we'd have to ask the Inca. Jump forward 2,000 years to the 1500s and not much has changed in the ways of communication. In fact, one could argue that it was way worse. With no horses around, Incan runners instead relied on their feet.
>> right. Messengers of the king, called the Chasquis, were slim, fit, and ready to rip, carrying messages across the vast mountainsides of the Inca empire.
Unlike their Persian counterparts, the Inca didn't carry the messages in their pockets, but rather their noggins. And that's cuz the Inca did not have any formal written language. Wild, right?
Instead You know for sure they were just mess just messing things up. I'm telling you during that running that exhaustion, bro, he is not going to get that message portrayed correctly, dog.
>> Instead, apart from some complex numerical systems involving tied knots of string, everything was spoken. So, a strong memory was the key to getting the right message across. The Chaskis were tasked with relaying the king's orders to nearby provinces and military commanders. Tell the soldiers that they're doing a solid job and to keep up the great work. Yes, my king. And they just book it?
>> The Inca, though, did rely on relay stations to always have a fresh pair of legs ready to deliver a message.
>> And then they're saying the same thing across multiple people? That's what I'm saying, bro. That's not working. That's not working. How many messages do y'all think were misconstrued?
>> that's a fun word to say. Each station was about a half a league apart, but could be as far as a league and a half.
That's over 5 mi or, for you metric guys, >> Right. over 832,000 cm. The stations were more or less weather-resistant small huts with other Chaskis standing about ready to get the move on.
>> Upon arriving, the first messenger would give the oral performance for his buddies and then repeat the message that he came with.
>> After memorizing the information, the next Chaski sprinted up to 5 mi to the next station. Now, keep in mind this was the Inca Empire. It wasn't easily traversed flat road. It was pretty much uphill both ways, wobbly cobblestone roads 10,000 ft above sea level.
>> bro, you literally are going to get murdered if you get one rolled ankle.
You get one rolled ankle and the king is sending you off cuz that rolled ankle is delaying the message by like a whole day, bro. Oh, no.
>> with how our parents walked to and from school every day, so they claim.
The king said to slob his knob and that Greg's a jerk.
The [ __ ] did I do? It's unfortunate that sometimes things get lost in translation, but remember the first rule of exchanging information. Never shoot the messenger.
Sin eater.
>> [music] >> Wait, wait, wait. I don't even know how to portray what a sin eater is.
>> to come up with some spooky dookie hocus pocus type stuff.
If you're extremely poor and a social outcast with no lucrative or meaningful skills whatsoever, One thing at a time, holy goodness. You Bro, trying to attack the soul, okay?
All right. Then the profession of sin eater might have been on the menu for you.
>> Blow me. Historically, the job was performed throughout the early 17th century up until the 19th century, mostly in England, Scotland, and Wales.
So just this area.
>> Yeah. As a sin eater, you were always on call for your services as people have a tendency of kicking Like sin eater just sounds like you're either eating someone's body, eating their feces, or eating food at someone's like important meeting. That's the only thing I could think of. Any given time.
So while you sat slapping mud around all day outside your thatched roof cottage, you could receive the news of a local death at the drop of a hat.
Oh, he's dead. A relative or loved one would seek out your services almost immediately after the passing had passed.
>> And what do you What do you do? You'd pull up your britches and tween off screen to convene with the spiritually unclean. Arriving at the door, you politely knock before entering.
You waddle inside to see your new customer and get to work. So your job as the local sin eater was to, as you could probably guess, eat the sins of the deceased.
Like what does that mean, bro? You eat his body weight?
What does that mean? As praying and repentance She got a holy long neck. I'm talking giraffe. I'm talking stegosaurus neck. And his neck broken like, "Oh, well."
How come he eating? Why he get to eat?
Granny over here like, "Ooh, that's some good bread."
Why is there a skull Oh, this is the coffin. They're eating on the coffin?
Bro, someone pulls up and eats on my coffin at my funeral, I'm getting out the coffin and putting one of them in there. Apparently wasn't good enough.
Now, the eating of the sins was of course symbolic in nature, but it was conducted in a literal fashion. The family of the dearly departed presented the sin eater with food, usually bread and beer. The food was placed on the chest or face of the individual right as they had passed away, supposedly sucking up all the bad juju as the soul floated to regions beyond. So, now with the food being properly seasoned with a pinch of immorality and a dash of transgression, it was time to chow down. The basic idea of the whole ceremony was that you would effectively absolve the dead of any wrongdoings committed in life, allowing them a clean slate departure for the heavens as a certified good boy. Right.
>> probably not surprised to learn that this was far from a Michelin star dining experience. The bread was all stale and had >> was probably eating mid. a bunch of gross floaties in it. Perfect for the hipsters, but less than ideal for normal people. So, after munching and crunching and glugging and chugging, he'd say a quick yet emotionally packed prayer.
Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
Yay, God. [clears throat] >> [applause and cheering] >> Where's the [ __ ] Now, with a proper sense of closure, you'd receive your payment and be promptly vacated from the premises. So, while your work of purifying one's soul was well appreciated, you were looked down upon, even outcast.
>> Why? I guess cuz you cuz you're full of sin.
And then everyone and then everyone who's a sin eater is like, "Yeah, free lunch."
You know what I'm saying? Hey, I I need some free lunch.
What if he gets turned into like get accused of being a witch and he gets drowned?
I didn't know the history of scapegoat.
That's wow.
>> [music] >> Powdered monkey. Oh, brother, this sounds like something that's that's going to piss me off, but I'm going to assume this is going to be I'm assuming this is going to be like you you're like a makeup tester.
Or or you do coke before somebody.
>> [music] >> Okay, how about they try to spin 12 hours shiny hunting for a Pokémon to finally find the shiny and then use all 20 Pokéballs THEY HAVE AND CAN'T CATCH IT.
THEY NEVER HAD TO DO NONE OF THAT. OH, I HAD TO MOVE GUNPOWDER. You ain't never had to the THE WORK ALL NIGHT TO FIND A SHINY Pokémon just to not BE ABLE TO CATCH IT. DON'T TALK TO ME, MAN. That's what powder monkeys had to deal with almost on A DAILY [ __ ] THOSE POWDER MONKEYS. BASIS. SO, while you may have been pissed at your mom for taking your Gameboy away for a few days, powder monkeys were grateful if they even saw tomorrow. Back during the age of sail, They won't be grateful if they didn't catch that shiny, though. Don't talk to me, dog. Well, naval warfare was a pretty common occurrence. Ships just blasting big metal balls at each other in hopes of sinking the other guy faster >> That's hot.
>> or causing enough damage to warrant a surrender.
In order to give yourself a fighting chance, you needed a well-trained, well-supplied crew who knew their way around cannons. Besides ammunition, the cannons needed a propellant to send those cannonballs directly at the faces of the enemy.
That propellant, of course, was gunpowder. In the heat of battle, every trained sailor needed to man their stations and execute their responsibilities in order to have a decent shot at survival.
>> was it just kids moving the gunpowder because they were smaller, so they were a harder target to hit? But, one responsibility that didn't need much training outside of carry this [ __ ] and run over there, was that of supplying powder to the cannoniers. Since it wasn't much to the job description, the task was given to young boys, usually between the ages of 12 and 14. You see, back in this time, between the 16th and 19th centuries, people were just cranking out kids, especially the poor.
Simultaneously, nature was just cranking out infectious and deadly diseases, and industry was cranking out fatal working conditions, both of which were promptly streamlining children into the orphanage pipeline.
>> And now it's like the opposite cuz uh I mean, whole problems are being solved, and you know, working conditions are being better, BUT NOBODY'S HAVING BABIES.
NOBODY WANTS TO HAVE BABIES.
THIS, of course, caused orphan >> And that's because cost of living is uh up here.
When it should be down here, but hey, that's that's neither here nor there.
They just to become overburdened and they needed some relief. And where's the best place to put able-bodied youngsters that's looking for any kind of future?
The military, of course. European and eventually American navies were scooping up hundreds of impoverished chaps each year and dumping them on ships to take on the role of powder monkey, more often than not against their will. But the young lads were quicker, more agile, and physically smaller than their adult counterparts, making them perfect candidates for the job. During a battle, each boy would quickly carry at least two leather >> obviously, we've seen this depicted in movies plenty of times.
>> from the ship's powder magazine deep down in the hull, all the way up to the cannons. A dangerous job, for sure, but a critical one for the success of the skirmish. "Oi, lad, bring me that very explosive powder, eh? And be quick about it." Don't trip.
Going to hit Going to hit him with one mean slip and the whole of ship explodes.
Well, that's a good lad. In exchange, the young fellows were clothed, fed, and given beds, and a little bit of education Give him food, beds, and clothes just for handing over some powder? I was already an orphan. I didn't have three of these things. to fill their heads. The plan was to have the boys >> No, he didn't have any. If you're an orphan, you didn't have none of those things.
>> eventually become official full-time members of the navy, assuming that they survived to adulthood. Yet, despite the fact that they were a key part of the crew, they held no formal naval rank on the ships which they served. I mean, that's fair. They're only 12.
>> place to call home, >> HOLD UP. HOLD UP. He posed. Why I mean, Why?
He's cap TO THE SIDE. HOLD UP.
HEY, they must have been They must have been living if he posing like this.
He's [laughter] sitting here like, "Man, this ain't no problem."
Hands in the pants, cap to the side, bro. He not worried about a dang thing.
What did the girl say? Row servant. He's servant.
Oh. Uh Billy, it of course came with the steep price of witnessing the horrors of war. Just to clarify, I said that powder monkeys were usually between the ages of 12 and 14. What if they be like eight?
somewhere much younger with some documentation showing cases of children as young as seven years old. These guys were subjected to watching their fellow crewmen being blown to smithereens, impaled by split bits of ship, blinded by shrapnel, I didn't forget about that part. No, like you right. I did I did forget about like they don't actually have to die.
They could just be seen like everything happen. No, you right. Like that could have draw some people, you know what I'm saying?
>> or having limbs ripped from rogue cannon fire.
>> Yeah, that's None of which they were immune to themselves, mind you.
It wasn't until the end of the war of 1812 that formal regulations were put in place preventing any recruitment of powder monkeys under the age of 12 from serving on ships in the United States.
>> Hey guys, look.
We really want to make war safer for all of us.
So, I'm going to announce a new law. We cannot send anyone under the age OF 12 TO WAR. CAN I GET A ROUND OF APPLAUSE?
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 12. NOW, WE ALL KNOW WHEN YOU'RE 12, YOU'RE basically a grown man. You can GO TO WAR.
BUT IF YOU UNDER THAT, YOU'RE SAFE.
UNTIL WE CHANGE IT AGAIN.
THE BRITISH FOLLOWED IN suit with an age limit of 13 for the role, though these age restrictions were still largely ignored. The practice did, however, fully die out in the mid-1800s once child labor laws were put in place and technology made the role obsolete. Mhm.
Sorry, kids. Looks like it's a big old box of PTSD for Christmas this year. And then, like they're not getting free food no more. So, what if they want to do it cuz they getting the free food, clothes, whatnot. Now, what happens to these same kids?
What is that? Medieval medicine was wild.
>> Scalping.
>> then were really just throwing anything at the wall to see what stuck, which led to a bunch of strange medical practices that would, luckily, fall out of favor once modern medicine emerged. One such practice was that of uroscopy, the art and science of checking out your pee to determine your health. Now, we know what you're thinking. Isn't this still used in the modern day? That's not terrible.
I mean, all it mainly checks nowadays is hydration unless it's like a very horrific color. Are they going to drink their pee?
Yes, but no. Urinalysis, as it's practiced today, uses chemical, physical, and microscopic analysis of urine samples to generate quantitative data for diagnosis. Mhm. Uroscopy, on the other hand, well, it had dudes snooping, sniffing, and sipping your pee.
No, that's hard. No, I want I want to be a uroscopist.
Come on. Let Let me get into some uro- uroscopy.
Well, doc. Nah, you good, bro.
Hey, twin. [laughter] Nah, THIS IS THE BEST PEE I HAD THIS WEEK, TWIN. LIKE, YOU ARE STRAIGHT.
JUST KIDDING. YOU'RE DYING in 2 weeks. I need a second opinion.
Now, you might be surprised [laughter] to know that the practice of uroscopy has been around for thousands and thousands of years.
>> it makes sense.
>> known evidence that historians have dates all the way back to the fourth millennium BC, where some ancient Sumerian physicians took note of urinary color.
Who broke Who broke this now? Bro, if you ask me, this is like a bow and arrow, right? This is like an arrow.
What?
How did >> [music] >> Right.
Nah, nah, you right. BRIGHT RED YOUR BRIGHT RED. OH, GOOD. NO, THEY WERE GOING THEY were go Oh, no.
>> Perhaps the most profound early evidence that we have comes from the ancient Egyptians around 1550 BC. This is the Ebers Papyrus, a 65-ft long medical scroll from ancient Egypt's New Kingdom era. This single >> Wait, how big?
>> 65-ft long medical >> 65 ft?
>> [groaning] >> scroll from ancient Egypt's New Kingdom That's 20 yd in football roughly.
>> era. This single document details over 800 diagnoses and remedies for all kinds of conditions ranging from skin problems, eye problems, >> That's hard.
The fact that we still have this, that's really hard.
urinary conditions. The study and examination of urine continued for a while, but the formal occupation of uroscopist is believed to have been introduced between the 4th and 7th centuries in the Byzantine Empire.
>> poop? Were they Like if they were taste taste testing pee, they might as well taste test poop, too, right? All right, where where's the poop tasters?
Or they like, "Ah, it stinks too bad. I don't want to smell this." Ah, so they weren't really about it. Meh. They weren't really about none of this. Meh.
peak in the Middle Ages. According to medieval Welsh medical texts, it was believed that urine was the filtrate of the four humors: black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood.
Black black bile? I've seen black bile depicted in like stories, but like black bile?
>> Of course, we now know that your pee is the product of your kidneys filtering your blood and excess water, but hey, medical science was still a baby back then. Because of this theory, uroscopists believed that urine was the end-all-be-all for determining a person's health status, and thus, it was the most important substance to study.
The most telling quality of the urine was its color. So, after collecting a fresh sample, I mean, a real fresh sample, the color was immediately observed. But, a problem with qualitative analysis is that it's completely subjective, whereas quantitative is objective. When it comes to subjectivity, one pee pee doctor may interpret the same color differently than another.
Right. Okay, I was trying to figure out what you meant.
>> numbers are numbers. There's no argument there. In order to mitigate subjectivity and establish some sort of consistency, the piss percipients often constructed quick reference guides to use as a standard for diagnosis, sharing their knowledge >> Oh, they have the the holy pee circle.
Go. I wonder what each color tastes like.
>> across heavily detailed manuscripts. As an example, if your urine was clear, you might have some spleen issues. If it was dark red, your liver's too hot. Green, you have jaundice. Black? What's jaundice? Wait, is black urine a thing?
What?
Oh.
Yuck.
Oh god.
>> Yuck.
Yeah, I don't think you're going to be doing too well if your urine >> I I I get it, bro. Next. Uh um Next.
>> While you had the visual aspect, uroscopists also ventured down the avenues of smell and taste to solidify the reasonings if a diagnosis couldn't be immediately deciphered from color alone. Urine that tasted sweet was evidence of diabetes, whereas stinky pee pee usually meant infection. Now, while this may seem silly looking at it from our modern >> doesn't all pee have like a slight smell to it? Like, who determines what's stinky and what's normal? Everything's too subjective.
>> lens, there was some validity to the practice. Uroscopists were able to properly diagnose conditions like diabetes and jaundice through their practices. Diagnosis was great and all, but without proper and effective treatment, you're not going to be making much progress, except just being closer to the grave. It's like if someone tells you, "Hey, your car is broken." and then proceeds to offer no meaningful solution. By the way, you're like you're going to like die type, you know what I'm saying? But Yeah, no, I can't really help you, but you just you're just going to die type, you know, you know what I mean? Like uh >> [laughter] >> You know, let me drink your pee while on your way out. You know what I'm saying?
Like you let me get a let me get a sip.
Cuz look look look look look, it may be red, but man, this tastes as good as gin hey. Oh, that was bad. That was very bad. Yeah, I don't know why I said that.
At that point, they're just taking the piss.
Garden hermits.
The ultra-wealthy really love spending their money on stupid [ __ ] They love it, in fact. When you've got more money than you could spend in 50 lifetimes, why not? Dump it on >> Which is why I hope I hate the sentiment of people talking about some wealth whispers. No, it doesn't, bro. Rich people have houses bigger than schools.
They have yachts that cost a ridiculous amount of money. Y'all think they make cars for one two million DOLLARS FOR FOR ANYBODY ELSE BUT THE RICH? WHO DO YOU THINK THEY MAKE THEM FOR? WEALTH DOES NOT WHISPER. IT'S it's cope. Wealth whispers is cope. It's absolute cope, bro. No, it doesn't.
>> And then you'll have the extremely rich get on podcasts or they'll get on like their show and be like, "Hey guys, um you're spending way too much money on coffee. If you saved this money that you would be spending on coffee and you made that Like bro, that's not why you're rich. You didn't get to rich from drinking at home coffee." They be spewing garbage.
>> They'll come up here and be like, "The wealthy people I know, man, they don't be spending their money on nothing." As they're as they're having a $300,000 watch on their wrist, they'll be on there giving commentary like they don't have someone's house on their wrist.
Expensive champagne on luxury watches, a fifth mansion on the beach, rigging elections, whatever tickles their sacks.
But, ostentatious spending is nothing new. You see, back in the 1700s, wealthy estate owners in England, Ireland, and Scotland were bored out of their skulls.
I mean, think about it. The extent of dopamine rushes back then were what?
Attending yet another opulent ball, hunting some wildlife, racing a horse or two, then putting them down when they don't win. And Hey, they ain't they ain't met a rock, paper, scissors player like me though. I would be having they dopamine all the way up. When you felt like a real degenerate, you had excessive gambling. But, these frivolous activities got stale real quick.
There needed to be something fresh, something grand, something right in your own backyard. That's when the idea of the English landscape gardens started to bloom, transforming sprawling grounds of estates into picturesque and serene scenes.
>> Right. Replacing the clear-cut and formal gardens of their French counterparts, English landscapes were to appear engineered by nature itself with natural slopes, ponds, groupings of trees and flowers, and a nice boulder or two. So, they literally groomed their yard to look like a normal yard.
That's what they did. They said, "Man, I want my yard to look more like natural nature. Let's make it look like how it used to before we got on brother."
organic decoration. These established wonderful getaways for owners and guests alike to retreat and get in touch with nature. But, for some, all the stone and trees and grass just wasn't cutting it.
Something was missing, something human.
Like a person.
>> Oh, wait. Oh, are these the people who just had to live in a hut on their property? Some wealthy fellows sought out to hire real-life people as decorations for their gardens.
>> Yeah.
>> Take for example, one Joseph Pocklington. Born into a wealthy banking family and receiving his inheritance at just 26 years old, his priority was to just spend the [ __ ] out of it. After all, what's the point of having money if you don't spend it?
>> Exactly.
>> dad always tells me, you only live once, son. Enjoy it. Well, Mr. Pocklington over here made damn sure he was going to enjoy the life he was given. After purchasing his own private island on a lake, he commissioned the construction of his own armed fortress, a druid temple, and several natural grottoes.
>> Right.
>> In order to make the estate seem more lively, he advertised employment for a man to live in his garden, demanding that the man, quote, live for 7 years without washing or cutting his hair or nails.
Never mind. I thought the pay would be good enough. No. Bro really wanted just stench walking around the yard. That's disgusting.
>> never speak or interact with any guests and would spend his lonely days in an artificial lake.
>> Why? The basic idea was for guests to observe a man in his most natural state, untouched by societal influence.
>> That's so weird.
>> able to carry out these conditions, he would be paid the equivalent of about $100,000 in today's money. Now, that's spread over the whole 7 years.
>> $100,000 over 70 years? So, it's not really that much.
>> Bro was getting paid $10 a year.
>> the ornamental garden hermit. But get this, Pocklington was not the only fellow to come up with this idea. Others employed their own hermits with much more lenient rules. Perhaps the most well-known example was the Hill family from Shropshire. Their botanical bro was dubbed Father Francis, and he fully interacted Oh, at least he got a hard name.
>> stories and dispensed his own wisdom, all while maintaining a mysterious yet comforting presence. I want to see the hermit, Mommy. I want to see the hermit.
>> [snorts] >> The trend of the ornamental garden hermit lasted just over a century, finally being uprooted in the 1830s in favor of living statues. And to answer your question, Cuz they were probably cheaper.
>> garden gnomes were not inspired by the garden hermit. Those came from Germanic folklore, hundreds of years prior. Oh.
>> But they'll still guard your garden as best they can. So, that's why people have statues cuz in reality they want a actual person that That makes sense.
Uh-uh, it it don't make sense. But like sometimes you have to pretend like things make sense to make you feel a little bit better. Amazing video chat history. The absolute worst jobs in history.
>> The worst jobs in history.
>> [music] >> Gong farmers. If you ever think your job's crappy, try having to plunge into a pit of literal human doo-doo feces every single night. Way back in the day in good old England, some daring men made a career out of wading through human excrement. England, yes. Where else would it be at? England. In good old England, some daring men made a career out of wading through human excrement. So-called gong farmers were tasked with draining out cesspits filled to the brim with offensive butt slop.
The profession had existed for centuries, but it saw its height between the years of 1485 and 1603, also known as the Tudor period. Oi, I got to chew the food here.
What? Since this was way before the invention of the turlet, Oh man, imagine just you having to go through a bad number two, so you start holding like the sides of the toilet, but instead of holding the sides of the toilet you're just gripping on the man's beside your thighs. That's what this is.
>> People were content with just slamming their cheeks down in a public latrine to pinch off a quick loaf.
The other problem was the lack of availability of somewhere to go. Towards the end of the 14th century, it's estimated that there was only one public bathroom PER 2,000 PEOPLE. PLUS, KEEP IN mind that all of that human waste was just piling up in a literal stone lined hole in the ground. So, you were just dropping logs onto a mountain of timber.
The local government, realizing that this horrid threat to public health was fermenting beneath everyone's feet, took action to allow the construction of private outhouses and latrines in residential areas as a way to disperse the smelly sewage.
>> Yeah, so basically like a public bathroom or porta potty. [music] So that has to be disgusting, bro. And if it's a wood toilet, it's going to be hard to clean the toilet. Like clean around the uh yuck. That didn't work all that well.
So with dookie levels rising, help was needed to drain the pits. Enter the gong farmer. The term Why does he have no gloves on? THERE WAS NO WAY HE WAS RAW HANDING THE POOL, BRO. Deriving from an old English term meaning to go, they were also referred to as the much more mysterious and cooler sounding title of night men. As the only time that they were allowed to perform their duties That sound like they were an escort.
That's what that sounds like. That sound like they sell butts. He has a bucket of lean and it's called the night man. He is going around serving duties was under the shroud of night. And that really sucked. There were no flashlights, spotlights, or illumination of any kind.
You just had to hope that the moon was shining brightly to light your way through the filth. The night men would enter these cesspits and drain the contents using buckets and shovels.
Excrement was loaded into barrels and carted off to be dumped near the River Thames. Don't worry. Near the rivers?
No, let's get all the feces that are on top of each other. Let's move it away to our drinking water.
WE'RE A GENIUS. [screaming] IT WAS USED AS fertilizer later.
Maybe. These men would be knee-deep, waist-deep, even neck-deep in the stuff, which Saucy is what a weirdo would say. had its own risks. The first and foremost being asphyxiation. Yeah. Cesspits were often in closed spaces with little to no ventilation, so the build-up of noxious and toxic gases was a very real threat.
Although rare, a gong farmer could pass out from a lack of fresh air and drown in the waste. Another risk was Imagining drowning in feces. That must be one of the worst ways to go, bro. Like drowning already hurts. Imagine drowning in Oh. Oh, poor maintenance. Cesspits were typically drained as needed, which depending on the size of the thing, could be up to 2 years between sloppy scoops. Since these pits just sat there and rotted, it was common for stone walls to collapse in on the farmers while they harvested their crops. Crops.
Any scrapes or bumps would certainly get infected, which could only lead to a painful death. But, these high risks were met with high reward. Since the job was less than desirable, >> your day? gong farmers made quite a healthy living, about 6 pence a day.
Now, I'm not quite sure what that is in non-silly-sounding money, but sounds pretty good. Problem is though, gong farmers perpetually reeked from their labors and were only permitted to live in certain areas of the city. Since most of the public had to be avoided, >> expected. I mean, come on now. It was like the 1500s. So, basically they were they they were just modern-day janitorial janitors.
>> and well, treating them like crap.
Can you Okay, so what? Now, if you're looking for a soul-crushing body That's why Santa's Santa's job I guess is >> that pays next to nothing, you're an idiot. But, I could recommend that you apply for the occupation of chimney sweep. These services were all the rage in, you guessed it, England's Tudor period. But, the job has existed for hundreds of years. Rapid urbanization led to the construction of a lot of buildings, and each one of them suckers needs a source of heat. Got to keep them English tootsies nice and warm during the miserable gray winter months until the arrival of the miserable gray summer months. So, a lot of fireplaces and chimneys were built to meet that demand.
>> How many of y'all have been to England or live there? Make fire, fire make heat and smoke, heat and smoke go up through chimney and blow out the top. Yeah.
>> But, all of that burning of wood and coal creates lots of icky carbon-heavy flammable deposits that build up within the chimney. Okay. Big problem cuz if that's not properly cleared out, then things can just go Yeah, you're goes not only your house, but a few neighbors' houses as collateral damage.
Well, the higher up you go in the >> have proper fire extinguishers, either.
That's the worst part, like they did not have no proper fire extinguisher. the risk of their kingdom going up in smoke at any given time, so they mandated that chimneys must be swept at least four times a year or face heavy fines. Okay.
What's up with the year?
>> of chimney sweeps became critical. The problem, though, is that chimneys at the time weren't exactly designed for human entry and cleaning.
>> Buga. So, how are they supposed to clean it?
>> were grouped together on the roof, but could have sharp turns as they angled out towards their respective fireplaces or furnaces. To make matters even worse, regulations shrunk flue sizes down to as little as 9 by 9 in. This made it nearly impossible for full-grown men to slip through the cracks. So, what they sent children in there? Like, what are they supposed to do? Children. Really young children. Adorable, wide-eyed orphans were yanked from poor houses and taken on as apprentices called climbing boys.
I was joking. No cap, though. This was a genius, genius edit, bro. from poor houses and taken on as apprentices called climbing boys with opportunities to one day grow into master sweepers themselves, if they lived that long. If it wasn't obvious, chimney sweeping was extremely dangerous, especially for the little limber lads. Boys as young as 6 years old were sent up chimneys and told to get scrubbing. The physical dangers were abundant as several children had died from getting stuck or horribly burned from scaling the scalding bricks.
6 years old.
>> fireplaces were almost always in use, so those chimneys were hot and ready like a carryout pizza. Now, if the cramming didn't kill you, the scrubbing would.
Certain creosote, the organic carbonaceous byproducts of burning wood and coal, are carcinogenic. So, if you're trapped in a confined space just scrubbing up doubling away while sucking up hits of cancer-causing black powder all day erryday, things are not going to turn out well for you. But, it actually wasn't They killed >> kids for chimneys. Your lungs that you needed to worry about. No.
It was your balls. NO! SCROTALS? NO!
NO! NOT MY BALLS!
NO!
>> [laughter] >> NO!
>> [gasps] >> OH MY GOODNESS, BRO. Poor English balls, man. Oh my gosh. Squamous cell carcinoma, also known as chimney sweeps carcinoma or just straight-up scrotal cancer, was a death sentence. Something I didn't mention until now was that the young children, as a way to fit easier into the narrow hot chimneys, often went commando. No shirt, no shoes, no pants.
The young children, as a way to fit easier into the narrow hot chimneys, often went commando. No shirt, no shoes, no pants, but all service.
They sent naked kids in chimneys. And was like, yeah, this is a good idea. This is our solution. But, they were orphans, so no one cared.
>> They had no parents, so nobody cared.
The constant exposure to soot and such led to the development of tumors on their nethers.
>> Oh my gosh.
>> Once developed, they were lucky if they had a few years left in them. Sure, your sack is out of whack, but damn, that chimney's clean.
Matchstick girl, what is that when they light that on a lady?
young women of the workforce that would paint luminous numbers and hands on the timepieces in the early 1900s.
>> Never heard of them. This is similar.
Towards the end of the 19th century, matchmaking was a pretty lucrative business. Not like pairing couples up, but making literal matches. Yeah.
By the late 1800s, there were about 25 matchmaking factories across Great Britain, employing over 4,000 chaps and chappettes. The process, as with most industries at the time, involved working with some nasty chemicals. The flavor of the day here was white phosphorus, an unstable compound that burned fiercely when ignited. You know, perfect for the few seconds that you would need to set something ablaze.
On top of being both easily ignitable and violently reactive with oxygen, it had the triple whammy of also being extremely toxic. Of all matchmaking jobs, roughly half were involved in the direct handling of white phosphorus.
>> Offers of matches, bro. Like, why don't they just get a lighter?
Like, they they didn't have lighters in the 1900s. Send me back there, bro. I will I will help them out. I will cause a nasty butterfly effect. In fact, I don't even need the intelligence from right now. Just send me to the 1900s and I'm making a I'm making a lighter with the knowledge of people from the 1900s.
I'm just saying. With over 80% of the phosphorus fingerers being young women, these women would come to be known Wait, why were they women though?
>> come to be known as matchstick girls.
Day in and day out, these women were tasked with packaging the dipped matchsticks with an entire workforce handling as many as 10 million across a 10-hour shift, meeting the demand of the 250 million matches being burned in Britain every single day. And why is that?
>> is what got people through the day. Need to cook? Fire. Need to keep warm? Fire.
Need to see in the dark? Fire. Need to shrink your overhead? Fire. It was the biggest blessing humanity has ever discovered and you can now summon it out of a little box in your pocket. The obvious problem is that fiddling with all this fickle phosphorus fumes physically [ __ ] you up. It was very common for both men and women to form phosphoric necrosis of the jaw. What?
No. The condition, nicknamed phossy jaw, developed after the Imagine getting a disease because you're a hard worker dealing with poisonous gas. You step outside, they're just giggling in the corner talking about SOME IT'S PHOSSY JAW.
>> [laughter] >> GUYS, GUYS, WE'RE GETTING PHOSSY JAW.
PHOSSY JAW.
PHOSSY JAW.
>> THAT'S RIDICULOUS. long-term exposure to phosphorus fumes. Initial symptoms included simple toothaches, which evolved into complete tooth loss, abscesses, swelling of the gums, and complete necrosis of the jaw. To put it simply, your jaw rotted off. If you did get the jaw rot, there was about a one in five chance that the rest of your body would be rotting not long after from contracting an even worse condition known as death.
In 1880 >> [snorts and laughter] [gasps] >> eight, over 1,400 matchstick girls, fed up with this blatant disregard for their safety, decided to strike, demanding better pay, working conditions, and abolition of unfair fines and penalties.
The strike lasted for 2 weeks before demands were met and accepted. 20 years later in 1908, the British That's how you knew they were running it. 2 weeks of a protest did it. They were They were running it. They were They were the nation. I couldn't imagine anyone giving up after giving giving up after 2 weeks. before demands were met and accepted. 20 years later in 1908, the British House of Commons completely banned the use of toxic white phosphorus in favor of the much safer and less toxic red phosphorus, which is what we use in matches today, but not in the match head, on the striking pad. So, remember to light one up for the matchstick girls.
So, you're telling me they had the same color white and red, and they stuck with white cuz they're like, "We have to do white. White is right. Red means Satan, so we can't do the red one." You know what? That's probably closer to the truth than y'all probably would think.
If you think your job's exhausting, try hauling an entire freaking ship up a river with your bros. These are burlaks or barge haulers.
They hauled barges. Typically dirt-poor peasants just looking for enough coin to eat for a week, these men were tasked with strapping on a strap and using whatever strength they had left in them to pull in ships from the Caspian Sea all the way up the Volga River in the days of the Russian Empire. Since ship traffic was near constant thanks to strong trade, burlaks were in high demand to carefully guide the vessels up the Volga. But why couldn't the ships just sail up the river, you might ask?
Because the Volga flows outward towards the Caspian Sea, and there were rarely favorable winds to propel a ship up the river. Let's risk it beaching your entire ship on the banks. So, why not hire a bunch of exhausted and desperate poor people to do the work instead?
>> Exactly.
>> down, fellas. There's no need for us to be Russian.
>> [screaming] >> Depending on the load size, burlak groups could range from just a few men up to 100 men pulling a single ship. But there was a moment of respite for these workers.
See, one advantage to working in the Russian Empire was the cold winters.
>> That's true.
>> Can't exactly move ships >> But how are they going to get paid though? Like the whole point is like they're kind of poor. So, the cold winter is kind of don't help them. Now they don't they have no bread.
>> upstream when the waterways are completely frozen over. So, burlaks were seasonal, working dawn until dusk, thaw till frost. But since the combination of being poor and not working meant certain death, the men would pick up odd jobs in the winter to barely scrape by. Hey, I make a duck.
Smudge is smudge.
At the beginning of the 19th century, it is estimated that about 600,000 burlaks worked in the Russian Empire.
>> 600,000?
>> of ship technology and the invention of the steam-powered >> Like like like were they just they worked all day? Was that what made it rough? Is that it? Cuz we were just talking about girls who who like they were suffering. Like they were dying.
They had THEY GOT CALLED FOSSY. SO, I DON'T KNOW. steam-powered ship >> Maybe they got bread. rendered the job obsolete. By the end of the 19th century, the burlak profession had vanished over the horizon.
What did the poor people do? Snake milker?
I better not see no one jerking no snake. Now, I know what you're thinking, so stop it. Okay, this has nothing to do with milking your own snake or giving little pinches to little snake nips, which don't exist. Snakes aren't mammals. I wasn't thinking about either one of those, but I've never thought about pinching snake nips before. I Uh, what if the snake is Medusa? The job of a snake milker was to which don't exist. I heard a I heard a sound effect when I looked away. Blushing blushing snakes. The job of a snake milker was to extract their venom from their fangs. He looks cute, right?
That's not new though. I mean that's not new.
>> coveted for use in early warfare as a biological weapon.
>> I'm saying. I'm saying we still do it.
That's all I'm trying to say. We still do that to this day. To this very day.
Granting you the ability to proc tick damage over time to your enemies. If you weren't able to finish them off yourself, perhaps the best weapon of choice to get slathered in the stuff were arrows. Lethality of arrows varied greatly. So they learned from Minecraft back in the day. dead as a doornail. But take one in a less critical spot like an arm or a leg, assuming you don't sever an artery, and you might just live to see another day. But that all goes out the window if the arrow tip was dipped in some venomous drip.
>> Mhm. Quite a few civilizations have been noted for using envenomed or poisoned arrows throughout history. You've got the Khoisan people of Southern Africa who have been using poisoned arrows for thousands of years in hunting large prey, and the Harmatians who used viper venom against an invading Alexander the Great.
>> Harmatians? I haven't heard of them.
They used No army employed the use of snake venom better than the Scythians.
Also duking it out against Like Slither.io? No, that's not the same thing.
>> Alexander the Great, the Scythians developed their own iconic poison for warfare. Ooh, their own my not only viper venom, but also putrefied human blood and excrement. Even minor scrapes from their weapons lethal. So on top of dealing with being envenomed, you also dealt with the horrors of gangrene and tetanus. And gonorrhea?
>> Yeah, snake milkers. Like I said, it was their job to wrangle and rustle up enough snakes to meet the demand of entire armies. But luckily, this wasn't a time for catch and release practices.
Kill the snakes, take their venom.
That's the job. Of course, that is easier said than done.
>> I thought they were going to catch the snake, have it like leak its venom. I didn't know they were going to kill the kill the snake.
>> By nature, snakes are shy little fellows and pretty hard to find. Chances are you get struck before you even noticed one.
One catch of their fangs is enough for it to be game over. Snake milkers were considered lucky if they even managed to survive a single round of collecting. I think it's time for a quick science lesson.
Science online. Venoms can be sorted into three main types: neurotoxic, hemotoxic, and cytotoxic. Yes.
>> Okay. Okay. Neurotoxins strike and destroy all your nerves. Agonizing paralysis as you can observe. Hemotoxins target all your healthy blood, thinning down or clotting up, so now you're done for, bud. Okay.
>> Cytotoxins focus on killing all your cells, so you can probably guess that you won't be doing well. Just avoid snakes and you'll be doing fine. I know you fellows and fellas just love a good rhyme. So, to close this chapter out, YEAH.
YOU TALK TO A A COOK IT UP.
>> [laughter] >> Snake milkers still exist nowadays, though only for medical research and developing antivenom or for biological warfare. Or so we think.
>> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Or that's what they're trying to tell us. Drummer boy, imagine getting ready to charge onto a battlefield to Like they actually have theme songs. Like songs being played before sport matches aren't new.
It's been a It's been a thing since we killed each other. Well, we still kill each other. It's been a thing since ever. Music is so powerful, no matter what. Like music is always around. It's so It's so interesting when you really like Y'all Y'all think in war they start playing now cuz they don't want to alert the enemy where they are, you know what I'm saying? We got more strategic. Back in the day they would face off they're like, "Hey, WE ABOUT TO GET BUSY." And then you just have the drummers in the back talking about some boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. Yeah, Waka in the back on his on his on some special talking about some You know what I'm saying? AND WHEN WAKA WENT THAT OUT, everyone was going crazy.
Everyone was going insane. Whatever side I'm on is winning easily. Either invade a country or defend your own. You see your fellow soldiers gearing up for battle with their trusty firearms and you're given a drum.
You have the order.
>> I got to fight.
Drummers, believe it or not, were a critical part of warfare in the days of yore. Since there were no such things as radios or more instantaneous methods of communication, drummer boys were employed and trained to maintain order on the battlefield, signaling commands, attacks, retreats, and everything in between.
That means they were the first ones to go. They were the command, so they were targeted.
Peaking in popularity during the American Civil War, drummer boys were typically in their teenage years or young adulthood. Though some more famous drummer boys were much younger. Little Charlie King of the Union Army died in battle at the age of just 13, being the youngest casualty in the Battle of Antietam. Itty-bitty Johnny Clem ran away from home and was taken in by the Union Army as a drummer boy at the ripe old age of nine. Just a few years later, the little fellow fought in the Battle of Chickamauga in 1863 at the age of 12 >> Chickamauga? where he shot and killed a Confederate soldier. What you going to do? Shoot. He was promoted to sergeant, eventually retiring from the United States Army in 1915 as a brigadier general.
>> He was a sergeant at the age of 12?
>> to be cold-blooded. I mean like he might have something mentally wrong with like he might be a psychopath, sociopath, one of those. Whichever one is crazier, he might be one of those. At 12 being a sergeant, that requires more than just catching a body. He had to be mentally locked at all times. Oh, yeah, no. But, that's a rare occurrence. In reality, it would have gone more like this.
Despite what people may think, drummer boys did not lead troops into battle.
That would be stupid. It would be. They would relay commands from behind soldier lines. Of course. They were still known to be valuable targets. If you break the communication line, you break down the army.
>> Exactly.
>> Outside of combat, drummer boys had a wealth of other responsibilities, such as carrying messages between units, assisting battlefield surgeons with amputations, carting the wounded off the field, fetching supplies, or burying the dead.
>> So, they just did everything. They very rarely carried weapons of their own. So, if they had to defend themselves in the heat of battle, they're pretty [ __ ] out of luck.
Groom of the stool, what does that mean?
That sounds disgusting. I'm looking at an ancient toilet. I'm looking at the word groom. This can't be. This can't be it. There's this Manhwa called Eternally Regressing Night. Look at how this heat.
Academy Extra, that's heat. Pick Me Up Infinite Gacha, that's heat. Surviving as a Barbarian, that's heat. Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, that's heat. That's heat. Those were just I saw like while he was talking, my mind started to float towards Manhwa. And I'm like, "Dang, bro. When am I going to be able to read the next one and binge read?" Cuz the thing with Manhwa, bro, is you don't read two or three chapters and you're like, "Okay, I can wait till later." You either read all of them or none of them.
That's the only way to consume the medium. You either read all of it at one time or you wait.
>> [laughter] >> If you wanted to be one of the most influential people in all of England, but don't have a drop of royal blood in you, you'd want to squeeze into the role of the groom of the stool. A job requiring you to get up real close and personal with the king or queen at the time. You had to wipe the king's butt.
once or 12 times a day. So, someone as prestigious and important as the king is going to need help doing so. I knew somewhere that toilet is going to be stupid, bro. Imagine feeling this sudden urge to blow out your bridges, but you have to fight through said bridges to accomplish the mission. Grooms of the stool assisted the monarch with any labors regarding biological movements.
This included helping the removal of clothing, preparation of the lavish and luxurious royal [ __ ] box, and the Why is there a cloth on it? I know that's disgusting. It's going to Oh my removal of the splendiferous solids, but not before their proper examination. Yeah, that's right. Grooms of the stool were not only tasked with cleaning up the royal slurry, but making sure that the passings were healthy, taking notes of any abnormalities in appearance Uh, does it weigh enough?
Let's feel the consistency of the said of feces. Um, how does it smell?
Uh, yuck. I'm getting Uh, yuck, yuck, yuck. Yuck. Okay, I can't I can't I can't. I'm getting disgusted. These notes would be passed on to the king's personal physician to diagnose any possible ailments. Tell the physician to do it. He's the physician. Well, that's not very helpful, is it? After the log was sent down the river, the groom of the stool would also assist in the clean up effort either by handing the king his own personal cleaning cloth or by taking up wiping duties themselves. Now, you might think that this How many kings y'all think they found out they were homosexual after a man wiped their butt? I'm telling you, that's probably where a lot of them got the awakening. If this was that common, I think that's where a lot of them At least six or seven. You know what I'm saying? At least six, seven. You know what I'm saying?
This job sucked, but it was actually highly coveted and well respected as grooms of the stool had access to the king outside of the public eye, allowing Basically, they're bootlickers. It's well respected because they get to lick the boots of the king, so they're technically high up. Like for valuable private conversations. Commonly high-ranking nobles or politicians, grooms of the stool were known to have influence in many formal rulings, laws, or personal life. You know why they had all that influence? Because they low-key was getting freaky with the king. You think they had influence just because he he cleans the king's feces? NO. THEY HAD TO BE GETTING FREAKED ON.
>> So that Anne Boleyn chick's hot, right?
No. The first documented groom of the stool dates all the way back to 1495 under King Henry the VII. The role continued to evolve over the years to the title of groom of the stool. Though, they were more so referred to as either the gentleman or gentlewoman of the bedchamber, depending on the monarch in charge, with responsibilities eventually focusing solely on the king or queen's wardrobe. The position was held for over 400 years until being formally >> They need a stylist, basically.
>> discontinued under King Edward the VII in 1901.
Well, that's that video. I have plenty more terrible jobs for part two. Want me to make it? Leave a comment. If you don't, Honestly, I'd love to be the king of the stool. The stool of the king, I mean. I don't want to taste poopy, but Grown [clears throat] men and poopy, but yeah, I'm good off that one. What happens when you win the lottery?
>> You just won the lottery. Oh, I did?
>> Congrats. Thank you. You're [ __ ] If you're lucky enough to survive all the lawsuits, betrayals, and murder attempts you're about to Excuse me, but laws What What are you getting sued for? Abraham Shakespeare? That's an interesting name.
>> face, you might just live long enough to go bankrupt. If you want any chance of this working out, listen carefully. The first thing you need to do is absolutely nothing. Don't tell anyone, don't quit your job or drop out of school, don't buy a GT3RS, and don't claim your Maybe you can get a GT3RS, okay? Depending on how much Maybe you can. Don't Don't completely rule out the GT3RS. Name your prize.
Yes. Most places will give you a few months to grab your check. Let's just say you won in California, which gives you 180 days. We're going to use this to our advantage, but in the meantime, it is absolutely and utterly imperative that you do not lose your ticket. This actually happened to seven people. Three of them them didn't Winning ticket leads to man's lottery loser.
That's so crazy. For just pounds, 27.
Whoever wrote this had hate in their heart. Ian McKinnon, you had hate in your Lottery loser killed himself for just pounds, 27. Lottery winner 42 shoots her after losing his winning 1 million pound ticket during celebratory party with He lost it. He didn't lose it at the party, bro. One of his pals snatched it from him. I I'M NOT CONVINCED that he's the one who's You know what I'm saying?
I think ONE OF HIS PALS DID IT. I DON'T KNOW, BRO. SURVIVE. Take your ticket and sign the back of it. Photocopy it. Take selfies with it. Record a video with it.
Put it in a waterproof, fireproof box, then take that box to the bank and put it in the safety deposit box. Now that your ticket's hopefully secure, we need to use this time to prepare a few things.
>> can get the GT3RS eventually, okay?
First, we need to hire a professional. I watched a few professional money guys and found you this guy, Jason Kurland.
He's a self-described lottery lawyer that charges 200k up front and a 50k monthly fee. That might sound like a lot, but for legal protection, money management, and tax shielding, this is actually a steal. 3K a month? Okay.
I'mma let you cook, but okay. You won the $200 million Powerball. So, 200k is only 1/1000 of your winnings. Nah, no.
It's more like 2/1000s because half of your money is losing cuz of taxes. Jason on your team, he's going to prepare your banking and investment accounts. And of course, he won't withdraw any money without your written consent.
But in your very first meeting, he gives you some bad news. See, the first rule of winning the lottery is to always stay anonymous. But most places won't let you do this. California requires the public disclosure of the winner's full name, and no, a trust won't help you. You're getting fully doxxed, and we need to prepare for that. But, first, it's your former employer.
>> It's your boss telling you off for being late to work.
Resist the urge to show up to the office with an AR-15 and instead put in a two-week notice.
>> Okay.
>> Leaving on bad terms would just give your coworkers an excuse to sue you.
Now, back to concealing your identity.
Delete your social media, get a new phone number, make a new email, and change your primary address to a PO box.
>> Mhm.
>> This should help prevent strangers from tracking you down, but an even bigger threat might just be your own family.
This Definitely thought I definitely thought your name was something else. Wow, okay. Bro, not not being able to trust the fam is crazy, though. Getting all that money just to hide it from everybody.
>> This guy right here won $20 million, and he used it wisely, starting up a successful gourmet popcorn shop and helping out his loved ones. Nine years later, he was murdered by his sister-in-law. If you don't keep your family in check, you might end up getting killed.
Come on, bro. Or even worse, divorced.
SO, HE >> [laughter] >> THAT'S NOT FUNNY, but that's funny. Oh my gosh, he just dipped. Where the hell?
>> Here's the plan. You decide right now the exact amount you want to dedicate for family and make a trust for it. Once you fund this trust with a portion of your winnings, Jason will take it over.
So, when your family members come begging, you could just tell them you're not in charge of the money. Let Jason be the bad guy. Okay.
>> After a few weeks of preparation and sleepless nights, it's finally time for you to claim your ticket. But, here is where a lot of people mess up.
>> The anxiety of winning the lottery has to be horrific. It has to be so exciting and then extremely anxiety-inducing immediately, bro.
>> The lottery press conference is where you'll be presented with the world's largest stimulus check in front of a horde of reporters who are snapping and publishing nice clean photos of your face right next to the reward for killing you. It's going to be an exciting event.
>> Jesus.
>> look how happy this guy is. He just won a million dollars. He doesn't know it yet, but 1 month after taking this photo, he's going to mysteriously die of cyanide poisoning.
What?
>> No suspect was ever found. In unrelated news, these two women inherited all of his winnings.
In comp- completely unrelated news, this This woman prepared the last meal he ate before he died.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that the press conference might not be optimal for you. Luckily, there are some genius tactics you can use to reduce its potential harm. Renting a car will stop people from tracking your license plate.
Wearing a disguise will lower your profile as long as it's not ridiculous enough to go viral. But, the smartest way to handle your press conference is by not going. You're not You don't HAVE TO GO?
I HAVE TO SHOW IT GOING.
I MIGHT DO THIS STUNT, THOUGH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T GOT TO GO?
>> HAVE to show up for your media appearance. The massive check with your name on it will still get put on the news. You just won't be in the shot.
Instead, you'll go to the lottery office without any cameras and quietly grab your normal-sized check. But, as you hold the piece of paper that's about to change your life, the first thing you'll notice is that the amount is a lot lower than you expected. See, there are two ways to claim your prize when Okay, what's the first thing y'all spending y'all money on if y'all win a lottery if y'all win the lottery for let's say 20 million? You have 20 million dollars, what's the first thing you're doing?
Home security, mom, YOU. OH MY GOSH, OH, YOU'RE SO SWEET. OH MY GOSH. I would blow it on me, too. I'm telling you, I'm having a whole bunch of oxtails coming to the house. A whole bunch of a whole bunch of sesame chicken is coming to the house. A whole bunch of lobsters coming to the >> [laughter] >> Oh, I'm getting I'm getting saucy just thinking about it, bro. when you win the lottery. If you want the full advertised amount, you need to take the annuity, which means your prize gets paid out over the course of 29 years. I'm not taking that. 29 years? What do you mean 29 years? Is y'all paying me like this is a mortgage? Honestly, lottery is one of those things that started clickbaiting. They won $200 million lottery. They will never actually see $200 million. Like, bro, this is one of the original clickbaiters. But, you took your kidding. They've withheld some of your taxes, but way less than what you actually owe them.
>> Just so just so they can up blow they want to up hold they want a reason to arrest you. They want a reason to try to milk more money out of you. Shout out America, man.
>> Luckily, Jason has an accountant on his team who can guide you through the how much do you owe the government death trap. So, after factoring in the lump sum and [music] taxes, your jackpot has gone from $200 million to a measly 70. I guess it'll have to do. But, before you even cash your check, your phone starts blowing up. Is your family?
All of the friends and family that have your phone number are asking if you're the mysterious winner. Oh, bro. Are y'all telling anyone if y'all win the lottery? Yo, I have a couple people I have to tell. I don't think I could withhold it. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could do it. I have a couple people I would have to tell, bro. Remember, the public only has your name, but not your face. You can tell some people you really trust, but be careful. Maybe even use an NDA.
Now, it's finally time to make your deposit.
After your check settles, you'll see more money in your bank account than you even thought was possible. Hopefully, you're using a larger bank and not a credit union where your checking account would probably be worth more than all of their assets combined. But, Wait, hold on. What? bank and not a credit union where your checking account would probably 53% have less than 70 guys. are in >> than all of their assets combined, but even with a massive institution holding your money, you still have a problem.
Only 250,000 of your dollars are insured. But how risky actually is this?
Well, ever since 2008, uninsured depositors only lost money in 6% of US bank failures. And large banks like Chase or Wells Fargo are designated as systemically important financial institutions. AKA, they have the US government as their sugar daddy, so it take a lot for them to go under. Chances are you'll be fine, but still, Okay. you should move this money somewhere else. It's time to hit up Jason to fund your trusts and investments. Let's give him 40 million to manage for you. And with a conservative 6% return, this will be making you 200k a month. You could put 10 mil into your family trust, and now you have 20 million dollars in spending power. So, let's get down to business.
>> Okay. First, you need a new house. I say go with this $10 million LA mansion.
>> I don't want to live in LA. Why can't we be like why can't we be somewhere like relaxed like like Idaho, bro? You know what I'm saying? Ohio? No, we don't want to go to Ohio. Never mind. Ohio's one of the last states I would want to go to.
Let's go to like a Virginia or something, a a Pennsylvania, you know what I'm saying? Like not LA. It's got a master bedroom where you'll wake up to beautiful ocean views, a 500 bottle wine cellar, and a home theater, but one thing's missing.
That's better. Any toy you ever wanted is now yours. Your dream watch, your dream fit, your A dream watch? Like $300,000 for this watch? Look at it. It looks like a kid made it.
Like it don't it does not look clean, bro. That's not 300k.
Maine? Bro, is there anything in Maine?
That might be the perfect place to go after winning the lottery. I don't know nothing from Go to Wisconsin. And I'm not going to go to Wiscon Well, actually Wisconsin is not a bad place to go.
Georgia? No, no, not going to Georgia.
Absolutely not. What?
>> Your dream fit, your dream Dream fit?
$20,000 bomber jacket? That looks like the biggest waste of 20k I've ever seen.
The gift of king pants. Those are normal joggers. Some are walk loafers. They're just normal loafers. WHY ARE THEY SEVEN BANDS? IN YOUR grocery haul, being a lottery winner is awesome. You're also starting to realize why rich people live longer than poor people. Not only can you now afford any medical procedures you want, but you even have a private doctor. You pay them 20K a year to be on call for whatever you need. You also get a celebrity fitness trainer for 300 bucks a session, and of course a private chef to keep your diet perfect. But even more important than this is your total lack of stress. Not having to worry about bills, work, or housing, and having the free time to hang out with friends or take a midday nap has massively improved your overall well-being.
>> But then, you get a call from Jason that changes everything. Well, he helped you buy your house using a trust to keep you anonymous. But internet detectives have somehow managed to trace the ownership back TO YOU. NO!
NOW I NEED 24/7 SECURITY. On top of that, news reporters have been silently taking stalker shots of you on your daily routine. And all of a sudden, your face and your address are front-page news. Your phone immediately So someone already did this before. Oh, so he This guy already did this. And your address Can't even go to the grocery store, bro.
He's a normal guy who just played a lottery ticket, and now he can't even go to the grocery store in peace. are front-page news. Your phone immediately starts blowing up. Except this time, it's not just your friends and family, it's strangers. You start getting hundreds of letters in the mail. People are telling you their life stories, how all they need is 10 grand, 5 grand.
Someone even shows up to your house. I think it's time for you to hire some bodyguards before things start getting worse. And by worse, I mean you might get killed. It's kind of a rite of passage for lottery winners. This guy won 30 mil, then got buried in his business partner's backyard. He won the Brazilian lottery, then got kidnapped while on a walk. His house got broken into, and he was shot to death in front of his kids.
But you have one advantage over all these unlucky winners.
What? What What is it?
>> Your location. Most of these tragic fates happened in not so great neighborhoods.
You, on the other hand, are in a $10 million LA mansion surrounded by people who are familiar with money. Hopefully, this will protect you from any real danger and allow you to peacefully live the high life.
>> Maybe. But what your mansion can't hide you from are your relationships. Yo, this we start getting bored cuz you're like you can go out and hang out, but hang out with who? You're not with your friends no more. You're with You're with the rich. And you don't want to hang out with the rich. You're not rich blood.
You know what I mean? The rich They They operate with a different brain. Their brain don't function correctly, bro. You have a functioning brain right now. I don't know how long you're going to have a functioning brain considering you won the lottery, but for now you have a functioning brain. So it's like, you know, >> Friends are going to come out of the woodwork. Family that they never knew they had. Everyone's going to be asking for handouts. [music] Friends, I lost all my just about all my friends from New York. When you win, every >> Yeah, you you can tell she's straight from New York.
>> [laughter] >> That she There's no hiding that accent.
body you know thinks they want [music] to. You have to manage to say no to these people. It's going to make you feel guilty, but the truth [music] is, if you gave everyone money that asked for it, you wouldn't have anything left.
Your mansion's upkeep costs you 50k a month.
>> Exactly, bro. And you know that like the mansion is important, bro. Like, you know, mansion over everything. nance for your cars is an average yearly salary.
[music] Your private chef, your trainer, your doctor, your bodyguards, Erewhon, Equinox, rich person parties, woman, across everything your monthly expenses are guards, Erewhon, Equinox, rich person Sorry. Sorry. Um Think we went a little bit too fast over this part. Uh What do you [clears throat] What What What do you What do you What do you What do you mean by What like What is Like cuz I feel like I feel like there's something else you got to be meaning about it. Like what do you What do you >> [clears throat] >> parties, woman, across everything your monthly expenses are clearing six figures. But even worse than the broke people begging you for money are the rich people begging you for money. They call themselves financial advisors. They try to hypnotize you with confusing financial linguistics until you've signed away 1% of your portfolio for the privilege of underperforming the market.
Don't listen to them.
90% of active equity fund managers underperform their index and 81% of active fixed underperform Yep, that's rich people talk. What are they talking about? Basically don't trust financial advisors. Got you.
>> portfolio for the privilege of underperforming the market. Don't listen to them. Certainly don't listen to people pitching you their genius business ideas. All of these opportunists are starting to make you feel like a walking ATM. When you win the lottery, people won't respect you like they do other rich people [music] because you didn't really earn your money. You just experienced a statistical glitch. Yeah.
This is where you begin to have a bit of an identity crisis.
>> Yeah. All you are and all you're known as is the guy that won the lottery. When you meet new people, it's often people say, "Well, what do you do?" Especially in my circle of people, most people were working or trying to put themselves through college and [music] oh, I just won the lottery and I just sit around. That's not something that I wanted to say. One day as you're contemplating the meaning of life, a mysterious man walks up to you and he's here to tell >> That's why I always said like the lottery sounds like a blessing for people who are like they are in the dirt like they are going through an extremely rough patch and they can't see a way out. That's where like the lottery shines, but if you see a way out, I couldn't imagine winning the lottery cuz it just the amount of hassle that would come from winning the lottery and the amount you lose from winning the lottery is so much that like it's not worth it.
You win the lottery, you don't trust anybody around you no more. Literally, you would you literally don't trust anyone cuz everything in the back of your head is going to be like, "Okay, what if they're using me? What if they're using me?" That's exactly what's going to happen if you win the lottery.
You don't want to live like THAT AT ALL.
LIKE, YES, money's not an issue no more, but we're humans. Money don't make us run. It's It's It's so It's how we socialize. That's what makes us That's what makes us function. People want money so they don't have to work so they can socialize more. But, if you remove the socializing, what what What's the money for? It don't do nothing.
>> you that you're being sued. A random guy you've never seen in your life is claiming that he bought your ticket and he's coming for all of your winnings.
He's going to pay me full. I'm the winner. God took me to that gas station.
Um >> Mr. Lawson, is there any truth to these claims about the stolen >> Um Wha- What? Oh, no, I would be I would be shocked. Luckily, you're going to be fine because you have legal protection from our boy Jason.
Where's Jason Where's Jason go?
>> York attorney known as the lottery lawyer is now charged with extorting lottery winners in a $107 million scheme.
Jason helped a lot.
He was the first guy I called.
>> to have a lot of fun with this. Jason Kurland, along with three others, now facing charges ranging from wire fraud and money laundering.
>> Oh, wow. Prosecutors say the lawyer has spent some of the stolen funds on golf memberships, of course. As soon as people get rich, they're like, "Oh, yes, golf."
The broke people can't play golf, SO I'M GOING TO PLAY GOLF, RIGHT? A Porsche and shopping sprees.
>> Well, in hindsight, giving this guy access to our finances was a pretty stupid decision and totally stole around $10 million from you. He's obviously going to prison, but that's money you're not getting back. [music] Yeah. But, hey, at least you have a mansion to cry at.
That happened to somebody?
>> Thousands of people have been ordered to evacuate their homes because of a wildfire tearing through wealthy suburbs of Los Angeles. Just LA? Thousands of people in Southern California who have lost [music] homes in the wildfires.
>> I thought he got targeted. Which, the wildfires is still sad, but I thought I thought they got targeted.
>> winner of the biggest lottery jackpot in history.
>> Just when you think things can't get any worse >> All of this is happening to him. This is is one guy's story. I thought we were following this one guy, but it felt like I think we're still following this one guy, right?
>> You suffered the same fate as two billion-dollar Powerball winner Edwin Castro and for some reason a large amount of lottery winners, your multi Okay, never mind. We're not following one guy. I felt it felt like we were following cuz he kind of looked like the guy who was walking, but we didn't see the guy who was walking's face. So I had no clue if it's actually him or not.
>> million-dollar house burns to the ground.
It seems like your luck has run out.
You're getting sued, you've been robbed of millions, and your home is gone. Your misfortune is of course front-page news.
Everyone loves a good downfall. And you, you will become just another lottery statistic.
>> a good downfall? What's good about the downfall as no one else got lucky?
That's all it is. Some sources claim that 70% of lottery winners go bankrupt.
Yeah.
>> Others say that it's one in three. Which is it? That's a two >> is neither. Both of those statistics have been completely debunked. Oh.
Winning the lottery tends to get painted as a curse, but in reality, it turns out that stumbling into millions of dollars is actually pretty great.
Real studies have shown that lottery winners are healthier and live longer.
Okay, so I was just completely wrong cuz I figured I figured if you can't communicate with nobody like you know the people you love, I guess you just get new friends, get new rich friends, I guess. a lower chance of being overweight. They have higher long-term life satisfaction. They don't get socially isolated. Instead, they spend more time with friends.
>> Oh, didn't we just go over the fact that like how do you spend more time with friends when like So I just had an unreliable narrator? Is that what this was? Just an unreliable narration?
Great video, Jack. Man, this is a great video. One study found that in a five-year time span only five and a half percent of observed lottery winners went bankrupt.
>> That makes a lot more sense than what they be trying to sell us. Cuz you don't just go through 70 million dollars. A normal person doesn't have the brain to comprehend what to spend 70 million dollars on. So that makes a lot more sense.
>> And And were even based on smaller wins.
You're actually at a higher risk of bankruptcy if your neighbor wins the lottery. Most lottery winners don't get assassinated. Most lottery winners don't go broke. Most lottery winners get freedom, health, and happiness.
Mhm.
>> So, when you win the lottery, here are the final steps you need to take. Fire Jason Curlant, cash that home insurance check, win your lawsuit, move somewhere far away, and relax [music] because you were never [ __ ] Most lottery winners aren't. But maybe it just makes us feel better if we think they are.
>> Mhm.
Mhm.
OKAY. NOW, THAT WAS HEAT, JACK.
>> [laughter] >> I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU, BRO. JACK, THAT WAS HEAT. I mean, I'm still I'm still curious on how friends treat you after you win the lottery. Like, I would want something more in-depth like that.
Like, how lonely do they really get?
But, nah, you you did it you did it you did a big one with this one, Jack. I'm not going to lie.
You did a big one with this one.
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