Who Am I? Observing the Changing Nature of Experience

[00:00:00]Welcome everyone.

[00:00:02]During our previous sessions, we practiced several meditation techniques suitable for beginners.

[00:00:09]We learned to observe the body, breathing, feelings, mental states, and other aspects of our experience.

[00:00:18]These practices gradually strengthen mindfulness, concentration, and clarity.

[00:00:25]Today we begin looking at a much deeper subject.

[00:00:29]This is not yet a full meditation on this topic.

[00:00:32]Instead, today's session is an introduction, an exercise designed to help you understand the direction that deeper meditation eventually takes.

[00:00:45]The purpose is not to force you to accept any belief.

[00:00:49]Instead, I invite you simply to investigate your own experience.

[00:00:55]Many of our attachments arise because we feel there is a permanent person inside us, a solid I, me, or myself.

[00:01:06]Advanced meditation examines this assumption carefully.

[00:01:10]Rather than asking whether I exist or do not exist as a philosophical question, meditation asks a different question.

[00:01:19]What exactly are we calling I?

[00:01:22]Can we identify the parts that create this feeling?

[00:01:26]And when we examine those parts closely, do they remain permanent?

[00:01:32]Today we shall look at five groups of experiences that strongly contribute to the feeling of I.

[00:01:40]They are form, feelings, perceptions or knowledge, mental activities, and consciousness or knowing.

[00:01:50]Each of these appears very real, but are they permanent?

[00:01:54]That is the question we shall investigate.

[00:01:57]The first factor is the body.

[00:02:01]Most people naturally think, "This is my body."

[00:02:05]If someone praises our appearance, we feel pleased.

[00:02:08]If someone criticizes it, we may become unhappy.

[00:02:13]This shows how strongly we identify with the body.

[00:02:17]But our experience of the body is more than its physical shape.

[00:02:22]We know the body through touch.

[00:02:24]We know hardness and softness, heat and cold, pressure, movement.

[00:02:30]These sensations make the body seem continuously present.

[00:02:34]Likewise, we identify with our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and mind.

[00:02:39]We feel, "I am seeing.

[00:02:42]I am hearing.

[00:02:43]I am smelling.

[00:02:45]I am tasting.

[00:02:46]I am thinking."

[00:02:48]Yet meditation invites us to look more carefully.

[00:02:57]For the next half minute, simply notice the sensations in your body.

[00:03:02]Do not search for anything special.

[00:03:04]Notice where the strongest sensation is.

[00:03:09]Perhaps it is in the hands.

[00:03:11]Perhaps in the feet.

[00:03:13]Perhaps in the back.

[00:03:14]Now observe what happens.

[00:03:17]Does that sensation remain exactly in one place?

[00:03:20]Or does attention naturally move somewhere else?

[00:03:24]Notice how one sensation fades, while another becomes clear.

[00:03:30]Just observe.

[00:03:34]When we look carefully, our experience of the body is constantly changing.

[00:03:40]One moment we notice the hand, the next moment, the shoulder.

[00:03:47]Then perhaps the face.

[00:03:50]Experience keeps changing.

[00:03:53]Meditation gradually reveals that what appears to be one continuous body is actually an ever-changing stream of experiences.

[00:04:05]The second factor is feeling.

[00:04:07]Every contact through the senses produces a feeling.

[00:04:11]pleasant unpleasant or neutral These feelings influence nearly everything we do.

[00:04:21]When pleasant feelings arise, we want more.

[00:04:26]When unpleasant feelings arise, we want them to disappear.

[00:04:31]Because of this, feelings become closely connected with the idea of me.

[00:04:37]But do feelings remain?

[00:04:40]Bring to mind something pleasant.

[00:04:44]Notice the pleasant feeling.

[00:04:47]Now allow that memory to disappear.

[00:04:50]Observe what happens to the feeling.

[00:04:53]Now notice any sensation in the body.

[00:04:57]Does it stay exactly the same?

[00:04:59]Or is it already changing?

[00:05:01]Simply observe.

[00:05:04]Even pain that seems continuous changes from moment to moment.

[00:05:09]The location changes.

[00:05:12]The intensity changes.

[00:05:14]The quality changes.

[00:05:17]The same is true for pleasant feelings.

[00:05:22]They also arise and disappear.

[00:05:27]Meditation helps us experience this directly.

[00:05:35]The third factor is perception and the knowledge built upon it.

[00:05:42]Whenever we see something, the mind immediately recognizes it.

[00:05:46]We identify colors, shapes, sounds, words, faces.

[00:05:51]This happens so quickly that we assume our understanding is always correct.

[00:05:57]But, is it?

[00:05:58]Our senses provide only limited information.

[00:06:01]The mind fills in the rest using memory and past experience.

[00:06:07]Sometimes our interpretations are accurate.

[00:06:11]Sometimes they are mistaken.

[00:06:13]Simple optical illusions demonstrate this clearly.

[00:06:18]Even two hands placed in water at different temperatures can experience the same bowl of water differently.

[00:06:27]Perception depends on conditions.

[00:06:33]Look at an object near you.

[00:06:36]Simply observe it.

[00:06:38]Notice how quickly the mind gives it a name.

[00:06:42]Now, instead of thinking about its name simply observe its color shape and light.

[00:06:51]Can you notice the difference between direct seeing and mental interpretation?

[00:06:56]Remain with that observation for a few moments.

[00:06:59]Perceptions arise.

[00:07:01]They change.

[00:07:02]Then they disappear.

[00:07:04]Knowledge itself is continually developing.

[00:07:07]It is not fixed.

[00:07:09]The fourth factor is activity.

[00:07:12]We often identify ourselves by what we do.

[00:07:15]My work.

[00:07:16]My achievements.

[00:07:18]My thoughts.

[00:07:19]My decisions.

[00:07:21]My actions.

[00:07:23]Yet, if we observe carefully each thought appears performs its function and disappears.

[00:07:30]One thought cannot continue forever.

[00:07:33]Another immediately replaces it.

[00:07:36]Mental activity is like waves arising and falling on the surface of the ocean.

[00:07:46]Close your eyes for a few moments if you wish.

[00:07:49]Watch the next thought that appears.

[00:07:52]Do not create a thought.

[00:07:54]Simply wait.

[00:07:56]When a thought appears, notice it.

[00:08:00]Then observe how it naturally disappears.

[00:08:03]Wait for the next one.

[00:08:05]Continue observing for a short time.

[00:08:08]Thoughts come and go by themselves.

[00:08:10]Activities arise and pass away continuously.

[00:08:14]The fifth factor is consciousness.

[00:08:18]The simple knowing of experience.

[00:08:20]Seeing is known.

[00:08:22]Hearing is known.

[00:08:23]Thinking is known.

[00:08:25]Tasting is known.

[00:08:27]Touching is known.

[00:08:29]Each moment of knowing depends upon conditions.

[00:08:32]When conditions change, another moment of knowing appears.

[00:08:37]Even consciousness is not one permanent unchanging experience.

[00:08:43]It is a continuous flow.

[00:08:46]Listen carefully.

[00:08:48]Perhaps you hear a bird.

[00:08:50]Perhaps traffic.

[00:08:52]Perhaps the sound of a fan.

[00:08:54]When a sound ends, notice the silence that follows.

[00:08:59]Then another sound appears.

[00:09:01]Observe this changing process without analyzing it.

[00:09:05]Remain with this observation for a short time.

[00:09:09]The purpose of these exercises is not to reach a special experience today.

[00:09:14]Rather, they help us begin noticing the changing nature of experience.

[00:09:20]As concentration becomes stronger through regular meditation, these changes become much clearer.

[00:09:28]The belief in a solid and permanent I gradually weakens.

[00:09:34]Not because we force ourselves to believe anything, But because careful observation reveals how experience actually unfolds.

[00:09:43]This is why advanced meditation places great importance on observing impermanence.

[00:09:50]Not merely the impermanence of external objects, but the impermanence of the very experiences that create the feeling of I.

[00:10:00]When attachment weakens, the mind naturally becomes lighter, calmer, and freer.

[00:10:11]Today's session has been an introduction to one of the deepest areas of meditation.

[00:10:18]Our intention was not to practice the complete meditation itself, because this requires a well-developed mind with strong mindfulness and concentration.

[00:10:31]Instead, we have begun to examine the five groups of experiences that give rise to the sense of I, form, feelings, perceptions, activities, and consciousness.

[00:10:45]And to recognize that each is continually changing.

[00:10:49]As your meditation develops, these observations will become clearer through your own experience rather than through intellectual understanding.

[00:11:02]For now, simply continue developing mindfulness in your daily practice. Keep an open and questioning mind.

[00:11:11]Avoid assuming that a peaceful or pleasant meditation state is the final goal.

[00:11:18]Instead, allow wisdom to grow naturally through careful observation of experience as it really is.

[00:11:27]Thank you for joining today's session.

[00:11:30]May your practice continue to deepen with patience, clarity, and understanding.

[00:11:37]Before we conclude, let us reflect on the journey we have taken together throughout this series.

[00:11:45]We began with simple meditation practices suitable for beginners and gradually explored the body, breathing, feelings, mental states, the four great elements, loving kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, equanimity, mindfulness of death, and many other practical exercises.

[00:12:07]Today, we have taken our first step towards understanding one of the deepest areas of meditation.

[00:12:15]The changing nature of the factors that create the feeling of I.

[00:12:21]This session was not intended to be a complete practice of advanced insight meditation.

[00:12:27]Instead, it was designed to introduce the direction in which deeper meditation gradually develops.

[00:12:36]As mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom mature, these truths become clearer through direct experience rather than through intellectual understanding.

[00:12:48]In our next session, we will look at the qualities of mature meditators.

[00:12:55]By contemplating the characteristics of those who have progressed along the path, we can establish a clear vision of our own direction.

[00:13:05]This exercise helps us develop confidence, inspiration, and a realistic understanding of the gradual transformation that meditation brings.

[00:13:17]After completing this introductory series, we will begin a new collection of talks devoted to practical aspects of meditation.

[00:13:27]We will discuss lifestyle adjustments that support steady progress, common difficulties that meditators encounter, practical methods of overcoming those difficulties, and many other topics that are helpful for developing a stable and balanced meditation practice.

[00:13:50]Thank you for joining me throughout this series.

[00:13:55]I hope these sessions have provided a solid foundation for your own practice and encourage you to continue with patience, careful observation, and an open mind.

[00:14:10]I look forward to meeting you again in the next session.