Children who witness their parents being critical or judgmental of others unconsciously internalize this pattern, leading them to believe others are judging them in the same way; this occurs because children learn to anticipate judgment from their parents and adjust their behavior to prevent negative talk, as parental approval is core to their sense of safety and belonging.
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How your parents talked about other people shapes the way you think others are talking about you. So, if someone left the room and you watched your parents be really critical or judgmental of that person, and maybe that person was sometimes you, a child will notice that and grow up to unconsciously believe others are judging me in the same way. This is because our inner voice is so heavily influenced by what our parents say, but it goes a little deeper than that. As kids, having our parents love and approval is such a core piece of our safety, and so if we witness them constantly being critical of others, we don't just hear it, we learn from it. We learn to anticipate that judgment from our parents and therefore others, so that we can morph ourselves, adjust our behavior to prevent other people from talking about us in that way, so that we feel safe and loved.
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