Instant Unfolding Awakening: 1:1 Session w/ Ronaldo

[00:00:17][music] >> Hi. Hi Emerson. How are you doing?

[00:00:28]I'm good.

[00:00:29]Um how's everything? Like how is the format? I don't do Zoom meetings very often, so I don't do them at all, so >> No worries at all.

[00:00:37]>> I'm kind of like trying to figure it out on my own.

[00:00:40]>> I read your story, but give me a brief summary again and what got you here. How do you How did you find me?

[00:00:47]>> Um how did I find you?

[00:00:49]>> Yeah.

[00:00:49]>> Um last well, I'm not going to go all the way back. I'll go back to last last um April.

[00:00:57]Um last year I was 60 years old. So last April I decided to stop drinking.

[00:01:05]And um um and a lot of stuff came up.

[00:01:11]>> Mhm.

[00:01:12]>> And my wife has had been already following Luis Kay for a couple years.

[00:01:17]>> Mhm.

[00:01:18]>> So um I kind of went started meditating with her and kind of brought back my meditation experiences.

[00:01:28]Um and a lot of stuff a lot of transformation happened, I think because of the lack of alcohol.

[00:01:37]>> Mhm.

[00:01:39]>> And um then in we things were going really good and we're like uh Luis Kay was having a retreat in Guatemala in October.

[00:01:49]So we went to that. It was a 7-day um retreat.

[00:01:53]We went to that and in that retreat um I had no idea kind of what I was thought I was going to like a meditation silence retreat, you know?

[00:02:02]>> Yeah.

[00:02:03]>> I had no idea of this like non-duality world or whatever world you want to call it, you know?

[00:02:10]And um so that was all new to me and at the same time um I was dealing with a lot of flushing of like emotions and and history and future and so it was pretty amazing and and I guess I would go I try not to go on my phone on the during the retreat but I was curious about her so I would look her up a little bit, you know? And then while looking her up I saw other things come up and um after we after we came back home, um I was really excited about um this new door that had opened up >> Mhm.

[00:02:52]>> and um I uh my wife's mom had given her the Dave Bingham book Effortless Being and I didn't read the book, I just decided to go and look him up and really liked um really enjoyed his message and enjoyed the fact that, you know he's just this plain he's a plain guy just telling how it is and having conversations with people and uh like really special. I thought that was really special and started really understanding a little bit more where you guys are all coming from.

[00:03:27]Um since I was living a dual life, you know, all the way up to last October.

[00:03:32]>> Mhm.

[00:03:32]>> And um and so that's kind of how it kind of snowballed you know, it was really kind of fast process of um discovering and devouring all the information.

[00:03:48]Um I don't know, can you hear me well? I >> Yes, I can.

[00:03:52]>> Okay.

[00:03:53]And uh and while I was listening to him, you know, he would mention other people like John Wheeler and then I would go and look him up and then John Wheeler would mention Sailor Bob and I would go look him up and kind of went like that, you know.

[00:04:07]And um somehow I came across uh Trina uh cuz you know the the the video kind of gets a hold of what you're doing and starts delivering stuff to you.

[00:04:21]You know.

[00:04:22]>> [laughter] >> Kind of knows what you want, I guess.

[00:04:25]And uh and so Trina came across and um and then I looked her up a little bit, listened a little bit and then somehow um oh, I think I think I said in the email that what happened was when I was looking her up, I was reading some comments and people were commenting about radical radical non-duality.

[00:04:45]>> Mhm.

[00:04:46]>> I was like, oh, okay, you know, this like it's like surfing, you know, there's like beginner, advanced and there's radical, you know.

[00:04:52]And um so I was like, what is that? And then I started realizing, you know, then I came across Jim Newman and then came across you and then came across Tony Parsons and um and this whole time that this is all happening, you know, I it seemed fairly easy to stop drinking and not drink.

[00:05:17]But in then this like this last April, May got kind of weird. Like I started um like you know there's my you know, here's my true nature and then there's somebody else that wants to drink.

[00:05:36]>> Mhm.

[00:05:38]>> You know, and I wasn't so I was trying to like there's got to be something in non-duality that like it's so easy like you know that would it would keep me from like drinking for stupid reasons, you know, because after you know, after a year of not drinking I realized the goodness in it, you know?

[00:06:00]>> Mhm.

[00:06:01]>> I realized like how um cuz you know, I started when I was like what? 17.

[00:06:09]You know, just drinking beer and then in my 20s, you know, got got a taste for a wine and then you know, in my 20s and 30s I had really good friends own restaurants and had really good wines and cognacs and and it's always been like it's always been a party.

[00:06:26]>> Mhm.

[00:06:26]>> You know.

[00:06:27]And uh and I always, you know, told my wife that he, you know, I drink because I'm happy, you know, my dad my dad drank because he was happy, you know?

[00:06:37]And um but like I said in my email when when our kids got older and started leaving the house and it's just my wife and I and she's not drinking and I am and it's like, what are you doing?

[00:06:51]It's like, who's >> So did you go back to drinking, uh Ronaldo?

[00:06:56]>> No.

[00:06:57]>> Yeah.

[00:06:57]>> No.

[00:06:58]>> No, okay.

[00:06:58]>> No, what what's happened though is that I um her and I have talked about it like I never really saw myself not drinking.

[00:07:10]I wanted to have I wanted to have I wanted to drink on my own terms or I wanted to drink to like to toast something or to celebrate something.

[00:07:20]>> Mhm.

[00:07:20]>> Not to not to feel a empty void, not to feel an empty day, you know, not to drink to uh to dive into my sorrows and you know, whatever.

[00:07:34]>> I wanted to do it as a as an additional celebration of something. Mhm. Just bare, you know, just So I of opened the door to that in January sometime and since then we've had occasions where, you know, I'll have uh champagne with my daughter and my wife, you know, celebrating something.

[00:07:55]Um Um but then like I was saying this last and I was feeling like this is great, you know, I don't have to drink and but when there's something happening I can be a part of it and it doesn't have to be so weird, you know.

[00:08:07]Um I fish a lot on my boat and I always thought it was going to be impossible to go fishing without drinking.

[00:08:13]>> Mhm.

[00:08:13]>> And it wasn't a problem.

[00:08:15]>> Yeah.

[00:08:15]>> You know, so I managed to be able to do it and empowered me to do it, empowered me to not to to have to.

[00:08:23]But before I booked this meeting June 3rd and the 2 weeks before June 3rd everything was really chaotic and I think what was happening is that I started you know, I started um walking by the the the drink cupboard, I don't know what you call it, the the cabinet that has some tequila in it and I started like one day I just grabbed it and took a sip of it.

[00:08:50]And I was like, "Oh, okay, that's all. I just needed to like know what it tastes like, you know."

[00:08:56]And then I started doing that like two, three days a week.

[00:09:00]>> Mhm.

[00:09:01]>> You know, and that went on for maybe two or three weeks.

[00:09:04]And and that's I think that was the struggle there. That's when I was trying to go, "What the heck is going on here, you know?"

[00:09:12]I thought I had made all this progress >> Mhm.

[00:09:14]>> and then I'm like fighting with myself again.

[00:09:17]>> Mhm.

[00:09:18]>> You know, the dualist, I mean the dual world fighting.

[00:09:21]>> Yeah.

[00:09:22]>> And uh and where's all, you know, where's the information? Where's, you know, how come Emerson's not talking about it? How come Tony Persons isn't talking about the alcohol? How come nobody's talking about it? You know, I wrote >> actually.

[00:09:34]>> I know and then after that I started finding some videos with some things about it.

[00:09:39]>> Yeah.

[00:09:39]>> And that's why I was really open to I really uh I really desired to talk to you because I heard a little bit of your story about it, you know, and I was like, "Wow, maybe this guy can relate and can can just, you know, point it out what's obvious that I'm missing, you know, >> Mhm.

[00:09:59]>> um in this in this fight back and forth.

[00:10:03]But But it was weird because after I booked the meeting and I was struggling, I kind of like I kind of like just I just went, "Okay, just stop, you know, just stop. Just stop reading, stop listening. Just take a break. Just And my wife had My wife had found out. She asked me, you know, "Are you drinking?

[00:10:21]Are you sipping tequila?" And I go, "Are you drinking?" And I was like, "No, I'm just sipping it."

[00:10:26]And so So that came out and and [clears throat] uh And that's part of my story, my back you know, youth story where I where I lied and hid and got caught.

[00:10:39]>> Yeah.

[00:10:39]>> And felt good to be upfront.

[00:10:42]>> Mhm.

[00:10:43]>> You know, so once she knew that I was having this problem and and I was upfront with her, um it kind of fell off.

[00:10:50]>> Mhm.

[00:10:51]>> And I haven't done that since, you know.

[00:10:53]But then it was my birthday and we were like, "I want to have some champagne for my birthday." And I had I had a little glass of champagne and that was it, you know, no problem.

[00:11:01]Um So So So your question is am I have I gone back to drinking like No, I'm not opening a beer at 12:00 >> Okay.

[00:11:12]>> middle of the day and drinking.

[00:11:14]>> Is that what you did before? Were you more of an alcoholic at one point where you were drinking every day?

[00:11:20]>> Yeah.

[00:11:20]>> Yeah, okay.

[00:11:21]>> Yeah. Yeah. And And I I'm an artist. I paint.

[00:11:24]>> Okay.

[00:11:24]>> So um so I I could easily you know, I I work by myself all day. So I could easily just pop a beer in the studio and have a beer while I'm painting.

[00:11:35]>> Mhm.

[00:11:35]>> You know, and I think that I think it it I could tell that it was escalating in the last 10 years.

[00:11:44]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:11:45]>> I could tell, you know.

[00:11:47]>> Were you getting uh intoxicated with it or Oh, I can't hear you now.

[00:11:56]>> You cut off there for a second or you held up.

[00:11:59]>> Can you hear me now?

[00:12:00]>> I can hear you now, yeah, yeah.

[00:12:01]>> Okay. Yeah, towards the night, um you know, there was this progression of, you know, a couple beers at sunset, you know, wine with dinner, and then some after-dinner drinks, you know, and I think I think that's what came out between my wife and I um when I stopped, it was like she revealed to me how much >> Yeah.

[00:12:20]>> how much how absent I was.

[00:12:22]>> Mhm.

[00:12:24]>> And I was like, I'll just like, >> you mentioned in your letter that Louis C.K. told you to stop drinking at I don't remember. What what What was that?

[00:12:32]>> It was Louis C.K.?

[00:12:33]>> No, no, you said something that you Oh, no, no, maybe I'm I'm I read it wrong or something. Did you say something about drinking to you or >> Yeah, what happened was she um she was ready to walk out, you know, she was she told me later on that if a guy had come along and and uh and invited her to go off that she would have left.

[00:12:55]So, I got lucky that nobody came around.

[00:12:58]>> What what happened again? Sorry, I I don't uh So, when when when um when she was ready to walk off, uh Louis C.K. was ready to walk off?

[00:13:08]>> No, my wife is Jennifer.

[00:13:09]>> Oh, okay. So, she was ready to walk off, basically.

[00:13:11]>> Yeah, my wife is Jennifer. But, so >> Sorry about that.

[00:13:15]>> Yeah.

[00:13:16]I don't know why I'm cutting out, so I was wondering if maybe it's I'm too far from the phone or something. Or I have the AirPods in, so that's how I'm using it as a microphone.

[00:13:23]>> Maybe the internet because you're >> Okay.

[00:13:26]>> Maybe that's what it is. I'll just keep on asking you. Sorry about that.

[00:13:29]>> Okay. So, what happened is that she went on that Louis C.K. retreat in India.

[00:13:34]>> Okay.

[00:13:35]>> And when and then she got really clear that she cannot go on anymore.

[00:13:39]>> No.

[00:13:39]>> So, when she came back from that retreat, she asked me to stop.

[00:13:44]>> Oh, I see. I see.

[00:13:46]>> And that was around February.

[00:13:48]And and we talked about it in the March and then April. March I tried to slow down.

[00:13:54]You know, and and we started seeing a therapist and a friend of ours, a therapist, and started talking to her and she's like, "Well, slowing down may work, but it guess what? It won't. You got to stop."

[00:14:03]>> Yeah.

[00:14:03]>> So, in April I stopped.

[00:14:05]>> Okay.

[00:14:06]>> So, she had asked me to stop. Yeah.

[00:14:08]>> I see.

[00:14:08]>> Because she was she was kind of done.

[00:14:10]She was like, "What's the point?"

[00:14:11]>> I understand. Yeah.

[00:14:13]>> You know, she's been on this she's been very you know, she's an amazing uh sensitive connected women with her emotions, connected with a lot, you know, with women, with um you know, she I don't know. And here I am drinking, you know.

[00:14:32]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:14:34]>> Drinking and fishing.

[00:14:35]>> Yeah.

[00:14:35]>> And painting. Yeah.

[00:14:37]>> Well, you know, I I come from a a family of alcoholics. Um my grandfather used to um go into, you know, he had this this big store that had a lot of He had this warehouse basically full of booze. So, he would ask me to carry a case of beer and um and a case of record records basically, you know, vinyl, you know, and uh >> Yeah.

[00:15:01]>> So, I would you know, he would drink with me and then he would give me beer once in a while. He goes, "You're too skinny, you know, and here have a drink or something."

[00:15:10]And um it just just become something that that um um was very ordinary in my family. And then my brothers also got into alcoholism.

[00:15:21]And then when seeking happened, you know, and when I was in a corporate world, I realized that I was doing liquid lunches. My My clients were lawyers. I was in the corporate world.

[00:15:33]And by the time night pack time came, um we were drinking and then so to keep on drinking, cocaine was introduced. And that's when I basically said I can't do this anymore. My life has become you know, I was making a lot of money, but there was something very very off.

[00:15:49]And then I heard about enlightenment because I was seeking at that time.

[00:15:53]>> Mhm.

[00:15:53]>> So I turned my my back, you know, on on the corporate world and left drinking behind and it sobered me up.

[00:16:00]Um but when I became a spiritual teacher, I saw that it's just another narrative.

[00:16:06]It's just another um costume.

[00:16:09]Um I was speaking slower.

[00:16:11]I was more, you know, more probably like more probably like Louis CK, you know what I'm saying?

[00:16:17]Yeah, sense. She's probably great, you know what I'm saying, but >> Yeah.

[00:16:20]>> Um but I was in that character. But there is also this this wild character that used to go into corporate parties and raves and DJs and that kind of stuff, you know, I'm I'm from the '70s, right? So >> Yeah.

[00:16:33]>> and the '80s, which is a bad combination. Right? If uh Um so there was a lot of clarity. I was working with people with addictions. I was working with at-risk youth. So that period of time there was no alcohol whatsoever.

[00:16:45]Um but when I thought I lost the enlightenment, I went back into it.

[00:16:49]And went into that full swing. I became a DJ again and then a lot of suffering.

[00:16:54]I'm I'm con- condensing the story because I want to get into the more clarity. Um Um about 9 years ago, um when I kept on having panic attacks.

[00:17:05]There was a lot of anxiety that happened. And I was using it to cope with the panic attacks. So I would pop, you know, drink down three beers.

[00:17:13]So hopefully, you know, I didn't want to take any medications. Although I I ended up taking medication afterwards because it became uncontrollable.

[00:17:20]>> Okay.

[00:17:21]>> And uh So, I went to all the big gurus, all the big teachers, you name it, you know, Mooji, Adyashanti, Eckhart, Rupert, all of the big ones, Tony.

[00:17:33]And um I was getting a lit- really desperate.

[00:17:37]And then I realized that that seeking was also an addiction.

[00:17:42]I was just repeating. So, I was just I just have an addicted mind, basically.

[00:17:47]I'm always looking for the relief in the next. I can't seem to create um clarity or or directness with what's here.

[00:17:55]And so, there was this constant um buying into the next the next beer, the next retreat, the next spiritual teacher. It was just it was just interchangeable for me.

[00:18:06]>> Mhm.

[00:18:06]>> So, the addiction just went to spiritual seeking, and then when spiritual seeking and like came into a halt when it became a little bit difficult, I went >> Yeah.

[00:18:15]>> alcohol back and forth, back and forth.

[00:18:17]Um Right now, I can say that I can take I can drink, you know what I'm saying, a couple of beers, but there's almost a limit now. And I do it maybe once every 2 months, basically. So, there's no more addiction. There's no one here that's addicted. So, what happened about 9 years ago is that I was about to have a panic attack.

[00:18:40]And rather than going into my spiritual inquiry, my meditation, or drinking, or taking I just went directly to it.

[00:18:50]You know, and and usually I would end up in a hospital because I would have a panic attack, and none of the none the alcohol, the whatever, meditation, non-duality was not working for me anymore because I was just repeating.

[00:19:03]So, I went cold turkey first for about 3 weeks. So, when that happened, when that panic attack happened, there was a direct- -ness that happened.

[00:19:11]So, when I went directly in between thoughts, basically, >> Mhm. [clears throat] >> in between the opposites, the polarities, I could not find Emerson.

[00:19:21]So, I went quiet. You probably heard my story if you've heard my videos.

[00:19:24]>> Yes. Yeah.

[00:19:25]>> quiet for a whole month, and I just didn't have a grasp of belief, you know, belief would come a word, and then languaging became really funny for me.

[00:19:33]And I could not find the next. I could not find the past.

[00:19:37]I could not find the source of whatever these thoughts are coming from.

[00:19:41]And there was a clarity that just expanded in a way, um without um it was a sudden, you know what I'm saying? There was this kind of like almost like, wait a second, I can't seem to find Emerson.

[00:19:54]Although there's no Emerson that became no Emerson, because that's just another thought. So, the thought of Emerson, the belief of Emerson just simply was not there.

[00:20:03]I didn't have any reference point.

[00:20:06]I didn't have a history anymore, and it was just a quietness that um disappointing, because I was expecting Buddha and Jesus to, you know, show up and high five me and um tell me that I made it.

[00:20:19]>> [laughter] >> Kind of thing, you know what I'm saying?

[00:20:23]>> Yeah.

[00:20:23]>> When when when I got into the spiritual path, I followed Buddha, you know that in in a way that I gave up all my belongings, I left my job, and then I worked with the homeless people, so I became Jesus, you know what I'm saying? So, that was my path of enlightenment, basically.

[00:20:38]>> Yeah.

[00:20:39]>> But I just wanted to suffering, so I thought that, you know, So, but there was just this clarity, and there's just a deepening in this clarity, and um >> Mhm.

[00:20:48]>> um And then And then maybe about 5 years later, maybe 4 years later, I have not drank anything.

[00:20:55]One of my best friends got married, and and when your best friends get married and you're the best man, kind of thing, he basically said, "You have to drink with me, Emerson." I'm like, I I don't I don't anymore. I'm like, "It's okay.

[00:21:07]I'll have one." Well, because, you know, my my my best friend is my best friend and I ended up dancing on a table and got drunk, basically.

[00:21:16]But, guess what? The next day, there were no more regrets.

[00:21:20]There was a There was a huge hangover because I've not done it in a while.

[00:21:25]And I smiled.

[00:21:28]I said, "I'm going to order the greasiest breakfast and I am going to take the longest bath and I'm going to book a massage."

[00:21:37]I'm Simply like even with that with what happened, there was no choice in doing that.

[00:21:43]There was no more maintenance of that that narrative. And and it Guess it took another like maybe 3 years, you know, I just had like a, you know, someone had a champagne and just had a champagne. So, it's not something Yeah.

[00:21:55]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:21:58]>> There is just an unfolding. So, when things happen, the the urge for alcoholism or seeking is just the mind addicted to the next.

[00:22:07]So, for example, when you had that that shot, maybe I'll have a next one. So, when that shows up again, look at that urge and and ask, "What am I without that urge?"

[00:22:17]Go directly to it. What What am I without the next?

[00:22:22]And you'll start catching it, basically.

[00:22:25]>> Yeah.

[00:22:25]>> Yeah.

[00:22:27]And again, if it happens again, you know what? Then, you know what? There's there's no, you know what? Um I grew up I was raised Catholic. So, there used to be a lot of guilt and shame around anything. I just saw it as innocence.

[00:22:45]>> Yeah. I didn't I didn't I mean, I when you asked me for a for a seeking history, I thought, you know, I was walking my dog this morning and I I went on my phone and just was going to just thought I was going to just describe a quick brief thing and then I talked about it and then it came up this huge long list. I was like, I can't send that, you know.

[00:23:05]>> [laughter] >> But um But I I too I grew up in Brazil.

[00:23:10]>> Just a second. Just a second.

[00:23:20]Are you there?

[00:23:35]Can you hear me? Okay, Ronaldo.

[00:23:38]>> Yeah, I can I can Yeah, you're frozen there for a while, but I can hear you now. Yeah.

[00:23:42]>> Okay. I'm just going to close my camera for for a second because that's usually what happens. Okay. All right. Continue with your Brazil story. That's what I heard. Yeah.

[00:23:51]>> Yeah, I grew I was born in Brazil and and [clears throat] so everybody's Catholic, you know, and I my mom was super super religious and she uh she was the most religious one in the family and then I was sent to a Catholic school and um I was a prankster, you know, so >> [laughter] >> I it didn't go very well, you know, I got kicked eventually got kicked out of the school in the eighth grade.

[00:24:18]Um And then um I don't know. I kept doing pranks until I came to the I came to the states when I was 15 cuz my dad's job moved us over for 2 years.

[00:24:32]And uh the whole world opened up for me because that's what I feel like I what I wanted to be, you know, back then because of surfing and skateboarding, that's where I wanted to be and um I became a better person, I think in the states. In the Brazil I was a prankster and you know, Catholic you know, the religion I was not a religious person, but I went to Catholic school. So, but I do have I do have the program in me about guilt, you know, guilt and shame and hiding and lying and all that stuff.

[00:25:02]Um so I didn't put that in, but yeah.

[00:25:06]Um >> Yeah.

[00:25:09]>> Yeah. So So that's my Catholic background. And then my mom died um of a of a sudden illness when she was like 45 years old.

[00:25:20]Um I was only 20 something. So that really pissed me off that, you know, she's the most >> She was the nicest person I've ever known and then >> she got taken away so quick, you know, so sudden and so quick.

[00:25:32]I was really I was really pissed off at religion. Um but I did I did go back, you know, I've always as a Catholic person I always go back and I tried I always you know, before all this I always try to reconnect with it cuz that's what we, you know, with there's a guilt like, oh, if you reconnect with it then everything is going to feel better, you know.

[00:25:52]Um but I'm I yeah but I do in your videos that I've watched I really resonate with the whole Catholic thing, you know, I never I was never a an altar boy, but I wasn't I was never >> I was a failed one. I was a failed one.

[00:26:07][laughter] But yeah, so that that the that what what what I try to present is that the ordinary awakeness basically.

[00:26:17]When when it doesn't have to be this this idea of what's awake or what's enlightened because that's just another thought.

[00:26:26]And then the the tendency of people is to try to emulate someone um and that just becomes another addiction if you if you if we're being honest.

[00:26:37]Right? And uh so for example at this at this and it just me just pointing out over and over again the falsity or the the um the relevance of what you think you are. So for example, think of a word that's not made up.

[00:26:56]>> Mhm.

[00:27:00]I was going to say wow, but wow was made up, too.

[00:27:03]>> Yeah.

[00:27:04]Yeah.

[00:27:05]>> Yeah.

[00:27:05]>> So, every single word is made up. So, everything that you think that you think that you understand or believe about you is made up. And most importantly, the you that believes or not believes is also made up.

[00:27:18]Because, for example, tell me about your your day. Like, for example, you were walking. Um what were you doing earlier today?

[00:27:26]>> Um I was I was walking the dog on the beach, and um I was on my phone dictating a seeking story for you.

[00:27:36]>> [laughter] >> And it was the worst thing ever because I, you know, usually that walk that I do, you know, it's a it's a postcard walk, right? I live I live here in Maui, and >> Oh, wow.

[00:27:49]>> I walk outside and it's like it's a postcard.

[00:27:51]>> Mhm.

[00:27:51]>> And and here I am in my past.

[00:27:55]>> Yeah.

[00:27:56]>> Um and it was it was probably my worst morning walk I've had in a while.

[00:28:02]>> [laughter] >> Yeah. And again, if you look at it, everything that you talked about >> that.

[00:28:06]>> Yeah, everything that you talked about is is it here?

[00:28:09]Or is it just a memory?

[00:28:14]>> It's just a memory.

[00:28:15]>> Yeah.

[00:28:16]>> Yeah.

[00:28:17]>> So, what about you? Are you here or is just a memory?

[00:28:26]>> Um I mean, I can say this is here, you know.

[00:28:38]>> Yeah, but >> But I borrowed that I borrowed that from somebody else.

[00:28:42]>> Yeah, yeah, [snorts] but again, that's from the past again. That's also memory.

[00:28:46]>> Mhm.

[00:28:47]>> So, what are you without language at this moment?

[00:29:08]>> Energy.

[00:29:10]>> Yeah.

[00:29:11]>> Feels like I'm energy.

[00:29:12]>> Yeah.

[00:29:14]And even go take away that word even.

[00:29:17]And then meet any any any words with without words.

[00:29:26]And what are you without the observer of this moment?

[00:29:39]So, there's a direct simplicity that cannot be captured by the mind.

[00:29:43]The mind is a fabrication from the past that wants to continue to the future.

[00:29:48]So, if you take away the past and the future, the mind does not exist.

[00:29:53]>> Mhm.

[00:29:54]>> [clears throat] >> It's a It's a It's a really tricky illusion because you believe it.

[00:29:57]But if you take away the past and the future, what do you believe?

[00:30:11]So, there's a quietness that happens, right? There's a space.

[00:30:15]And that space is almost like a It's a glimpse to what this is, a glimpse to the infinite.

[00:30:21]And that glimpse basically will keep on unfolding and unfolding and unfolding.

[00:30:28]Um and that's what happened to me, basically, is I I saw this without the past and the future, I could not locate Emerson.

[00:30:38]Without any point of reference, I could not find Emerson.

[00:30:42]I could not even locate, you know, anything without words.

[00:30:48]>> Mhm.

[00:30:48]>> And without the observer, there's no location.

[00:30:54]And um and just this ordinary ordinary quietness that um that will just keep on unfolding and unfolding and unfolding.

[00:31:04]And it just really it's just being attention to the space and then taking away the one that's paying attention.

[00:31:13]Taking away the observer.

[00:31:15]And in that clarity, there is a a seamlessness that happens.

[00:31:19]Then your life is not dictated anymore by the thoughts of you because the you is simply just a thought.

[00:31:26]And again, if you take away the thought, where's the you? If you take away you, where are the thoughts?

[00:31:31]It's just a really neat trick of the mind because the mind is something that seemingly we've learned um that we have in the past.

[00:31:40]But it's in the past.

[00:31:44]And without the future, it has nowhere to go.

[00:31:50]So when I walk in the morning, simply the thoughts are not there, right? Because there's just a directness that's happening. If the thought comes, then it's something from the past right away. So since the past is the past, then there is no more relevance to it.

[00:32:06]Um it's [clears throat] just kind of like an app, like a you know, like a Siri or something. You have an appointment at 7:00, you know, that kind of thing.

[00:32:14]Um >> [clears throat] >> but it has nothing to do with who I am.

[00:32:21]It's not a denial, it's not a negation, right?

[00:32:24]Because you can say that well, how do I get there? Then that's the next.

[00:32:29]So what are you without any kind of reference to anything in the past?

[00:32:47]>> Well, there's there's nothing nothing there.

[00:32:50]>> Mhm.

[00:32:51]Yeah.

[00:32:54]>> There's nothing there.

[00:32:55]>> Yeah.

[00:32:57]And that's the simplicity of what what what I'm trying to talk about, right?

[00:33:01]>> Mhm.

[00:33:05]>> The simplicity is that it has it has nothing to do with the mind.

[00:33:13]So, in that sense, if you start seeing that that's ego death.

[00:33:17]Because if you can't go to the past or the future, where's the ego?

[00:33:21]>> Mhm.

[00:33:22]>> If you can go to the next, where's the urge to drink again?

[00:33:31]Or even if it happens without If there's no next, where's the urge to go drink again?

[00:33:36]>> Yeah.

[00:33:37]Mhm.

[00:33:37]>> Because the next is just a thought, right? So, you know what? You don't even know it, right? But it's because it's seemingly so so spontaneous. But you pass by your liquor cabinet, you're like, "Oh, maybe I'll have a sip."

[00:33:48]That's the next.

[00:33:49]>> Mhm.

[00:33:49]>> Then you go to the next.

[00:33:50]>> next.

[00:33:51]>> Yeah.

[00:33:51]>> Yeah.

[00:33:52]>> Yeah.

[00:33:55]>> Cuz there is um Well, there's a couple of things that I want to I don't want to forget. One of them is um Let me give an example. Like, I woke up around 4:00 in the morning >> Mhm.

[00:34:15]>> to go to the bathroom.

[00:34:16]And I and I saw my phone like light up.

[00:34:21]Um and I checked it real quick and I noticed there was a email from you.

[00:34:27]And I wanted to see what it was. So, I read it and it was like and the email was, oh just send me a you know a history seek seeking history.

[00:34:36]Yeah.

[00:34:37]And I go okay I'll I'll do that later.

[00:34:39]So I went to the bathroom and came back to bed and lay down.

[00:34:42]>> Yeah.

[00:34:42]>> And just everything I started rehearsing my whole >> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:34:49]>> response. Right? So that's >> See that's how the mind gets triggered is the next the next. So Um >> So so I I I like when you when you speak to me you know what are you without language?

[00:35:02]What are you um without the next?

[00:35:06]It's clear to me.

[00:35:08]>> Mhm.

[00:35:10]>> And and when I get bombarded in bed with all that at 4:00 in the morning >> See.

[00:35:16]>> Yeah. That's that's the challenge.

[00:35:18]>> See that's that's what I'm trying to point out, right? So the language now, the me the identity the mind the character is now going to look in the past so that it continue to the next.

[00:35:28]>> Mhm.

[00:35:29]>> [clears throat] >> So it's trying to make a case for its relevance again.

[00:35:33]>> Yeah.

[00:35:34]>> Yeah.

[00:35:34]>> I guess I'm I'm trying to I and I'm trying to ask for a how to, right?

[00:35:39]>> Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:35:40]>> I'm trying to ask for a how to. Hey, how how do I when that happens again, how do I do it?

[00:35:45]You know?

[00:35:46]>> You're frozen again. Just a second. Let me just close the camera. Just a second.

[00:35:49]Okay, go ahead. So how you're you're trying to >> Yeah. So I'm asking you when that happens again, you know, how do I how do I deal with it? You know? How do I make it How do I like disregard disregard or disregard it so it doesn't I'm that's not me, you know?

[00:36:07]>> Yeah. And again, right? The mind is going to create this narrative that I have to do something. So what's between doing and not doing?

[00:36:16]>> Mhm.

[00:36:23]Yeah, the mind does not want that.

[00:36:25]>> Exactly. So meet it with that word.

[00:36:28]>> Yeah, the mind does not want that. I can tell. It's like freaks out.

[00:36:32]>> It freaks out because it's getting called out that it's actually not there, right? So, it it will trick It can only go to the past or the future, basically, right? So.

[00:36:40]>> Yeah.

[00:36:41]Yeah.

[00:36:43]But when you talk about the next, okay?

[00:36:45]Like you know, the addiction to the next, the next.

[00:36:49]So.

[00:36:51]I I create paintings for a living. So, I finished While I'm doing one painting, I'm already thinking of what's the next one.

[00:36:59]>> Yeah, and that's okay. That's just functional thinking.

[00:37:03]>> Yeah, but that's like But that trips me, too. That trips me out, too, because >> Well, if it's dysfunctional, then you you you you meet it with that words. If it's dysfunctional, then you you you meet it with that words.

[00:37:14]>> You meet it, yeah.

[00:37:15]>> Yeah, you meet it with space. It's just space, right? It's just a It's just thoughts that seemingly coming out of from space, and then you meet it with that words.

[00:37:23]>> Yeah.

[00:37:24]>> You meet it with engaging, basically, right?

[00:37:27]It's It's almost like a It's almost like um um It's irrelevant.

[00:37:36]>> Yeah.

[00:37:37]>> The irrelevance of it is quite obvious when you start seeing that um it's just a thought.

[00:37:48]>> Yeah.

[00:37:50]>> And without the thought of the next then there's even nothing to talk about if you really see it.

[00:38:01]>> [laughter] >> Do you know what I'm saying?

[00:38:02]>> Yeah.

[00:38:03]>> What's there to talk about when there's no next?

[00:38:05]>> Yeah.

[00:38:08]>> What's there to understand?

[00:38:13]So, the mind will always try to create a case for its its its reality over and over and over again, right?

[00:38:19]>> For sure. For sure.

[00:38:21]>> But it's also it's also not there.

[00:38:27]And, you know what? We can we can go to a an MRI machine and try to try to locate them and you will never find it.

[00:38:36]>> Right.

[00:38:37]>> Yeah.

[00:38:38]It's impossible.

[00:38:39]>> Right.

[00:38:41]>> And that's what I'm trying to point out, right? The impossibility of the next is um is quite simple.

[00:38:52]There's a language in in in um in um in the Amazon called Pirahã, right?

[00:38:59]They don't have a next.

[00:39:01]They don't have a past.

[00:39:02]>> Mhm.

[00:39:03]Yeah.

[00:39:04]>> Yeah.

[00:39:07]So, when a Christian missionary went there to try to save them and accept Jesus Christ as their only savior, they don't have an idea of what death is.

[00:39:16]>> Mhm.

[00:39:18]>> They don't think about that. Yeah.

[00:39:20]>> Wow.

[00:39:21]>> So, they're they're quite content. So, the the missionary ended up converting to them.

[00:39:30]>> Yeah.

[00:39:31]>> Because without the next, without the past, it's already perfect whatever is here.

[00:39:37]>> Yeah.

[00:39:37]>> Yeah.

[00:39:39]For example, drinking, oh, maybe it will make you me feel better, you know what I'm saying? You know, if I just take one sip or whatever.

[00:39:45]Rather than just being direct with what is the discomfort here.

[00:39:49]>> Mhm.

[00:39:50]>> Take away the past and the future, where's the discomfort?

[00:39:57]>> Sometimes the discomfort is things are too good.

[00:40:03]>> Well, meet that without any kind of language as well.

[00:40:06]>> Yeah.

[00:40:07]>> Because when you create a landing, then the too good becomes it's not good.

[00:40:13]The mind the the mind is in a dualistic network, basically, right? Is it a dualistic framework?

[00:40:19]So, for example, if it says that, "Oh, I I'm not comfortable." Then I want to be comfortable. It goes to the next. Or if I'm com- I'm comfortable, then it goes to discomfort.

[00:40:29]>> Mhm.

[00:40:29]>> So, the dualism, that's why it did non-duality is not two.

[00:40:34]Is the lie. Is the fabrication.

[00:40:37]>> Mhm.

[00:40:38]>> So, if you take away the opposites, or simply if you go That's why I ask the in-between questions, right? For example, if I say, "What's in between one apple that's labeled Ronaldo, and then the other apple that's labeled no Ronaldo?" What's in between two apples?

[00:40:58]>> Mhm.

[00:40:59]>> What is it? What's in between two apples?

[00:41:02]>> Mhm.

[00:41:03]>> Space.

[00:41:06]>> Yeah.

[00:41:06]>> And scientifically, you can you can take the, you know, the most powerful microscope, and what they will find with you if they go as close as they can is just space.

[00:41:17]>> Mhm.

[00:41:18]>> If you go take the biggest microscope, you know what I'm saying, and try to try to go all the way into the cosmos, what they'll find is also space.

[00:41:27]>> Space.

[00:41:28]>> Yeah.

[00:41:29]So, this is just space.

[00:41:31]>> Yeah.

[00:41:33]>> Yeah.

[00:41:34]And again, that's saying way too much.

[00:41:36]And you can also say that it's just God without the belief or non-belief.

[00:41:46]So, it's perfect. So, the anomaly is the mind that thinks that there is a past or a future, or a beginning or an ending.

[00:41:53]And that's when the fear comes, and that's when the depression happens, but the past or fear about the next thing, anxiety about the next.

[00:42:01]So, I can honestly say that in the past eight or nine years now, there's not been an anxious um moment.

[00:42:08]>> Mhm.

[00:42:09]>> Or anxiety. Maybe there's some anxiousness that happens that happens or whatever, but it doesn't have anywhere to go.

[00:42:16]>> Mhm.

[00:42:17]>> And then if you start really going into language again, if you start seeing that language is just simply made up, then it's easy to see that everything that you think is simply made up. Even everything that you've heard that seems to be powerful or wise and everything is also made up.

[00:42:38]There is a clarity that is beyond comprehension, right? But the clarity does not need comprehension. That's why it's beyond comprehension.

[00:42:47]So, for example, if you are Think of something that doesn't have an opposite.

[00:42:55]>> Everything has an opposite.

[00:42:56]>> So, the mind clears up because it can't go there.

[00:42:59]>> Yeah.

[00:43:00]>> Yeah.

[00:43:02]So, that's what you are with no opposite.

[00:43:04]>> Yeah.

[00:43:05]>> The thinking is the false idea of you that thinks that you are an opposite to God or to the universe or whatever you might want to call it, right?

[00:43:14]>> Yeah.

[00:43:15]>> Yeah.

[00:43:15]>> Yeah.

[00:43:16]>> There's this apparent experience, this illusion of you moving through time and space, but that's it. It's just an experience.

[00:43:23]>> Yeah.

[00:43:23]>> But try to look for the experience there and you will not find it.

[00:43:28]Try to look for the thinker and you will not find it.

[00:43:31]The observer, where is it?

[00:43:43]>> And there's I have the I There's There's clarity about what I hear you saying, you know, I I have I have heard it and I hear it I hear the clarity right now and it like really resonates.

[00:43:56]>> Mhm.

[00:43:57]>> Um and but then it's up to me to meet everything that happens. Everything, whatever. It's up to me like once we're done with this phone call like >> You're going to the next already.

[00:44:20]>> Yeah.

[00:44:21]Yeah.

[00:44:22]Yeah.

[00:44:26]It's like wait, hold my hand. Hold my hand.

[00:44:28]>> Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's what it is, right? So, it's not afraid to see that that life doesn't really have a next. It's just a thought.

[00:44:36]There's uh there's an unfolding of what this is, but it doesn't have a mental next.

[00:44:45]>> Yeah.

[00:44:46]>> If you like I usually suggest people to do follow-ups, right? So, that they can they can have more clarity or you know what? Or if you're more uh uh more likely, you know what I'm saying, to to um to come back into thoughts, um it's not about getting rid of thoughts because that's just more thoughts.

[00:45:04]It's just when a thought becomes more predominant than this the quietness.

[00:45:08]So, the quietness, you know, so when a thought comes that is just dysfunctional, just meet it without thoughts.

[00:45:14]>> Yeah.

[00:45:16]>> Meet it without a response.

[00:45:20]>> And what I mean, what about the dynamics of, you know, my wife and I? It's like Well, you're going to be the language there.

[00:45:28]>> Yeah, yeah. I'm not saying get rid of the language.

[00:45:30]Yeah. There's language like I mean, we're super I mean, there's it's it's it's pretty I mean, it's pretty amazing because, you know, we are aware of the language >> Mhm.

[00:45:43]>> of the of the of what we're talking about. I'm talking about we're aware of the vocabulary, whatever.

[00:45:48]>> Yeah, yeah. So, so there's there's some joking.

[00:45:51]>> There's there's a lot of joking, you know, there's a lot of apparently going on.

[00:45:54]>> Yeah.

[00:45:55]>> Um but at the same time you know as soon as I walk out, I'm going to the next. Let me go to the next for a second.

[00:46:03]>> Sure. Sure. Please go. Yeah.

[00:46:05]>> When I walk out >> [laughter] >> when I walk out of the room, she goes, "How did it go with Emerson?"

[00:46:11]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:46:12]>> You know what I mean? And then words come out.

[00:46:14]>> Yeah.

[00:46:15]Yeah.

[00:46:15]>> And then thoughts are going to And then the mind's going to analyze the the words that came out of It's like uh >> you're already you're already you're already kind of like it's almost like you're doing a self-pro a fulfilling prophecy already, right?

[00:46:29]You don't know what's next.

[00:46:31]>> Yeah.

[00:46:32]>> Yeah.

[00:46:32]>> Yeah.

[00:46:33]>> Yeah.

[00:46:34]Yeah.

[00:46:36]But on a daily on a daily her and I exchange >> Yeah.

[00:46:41]>> You know, we exchange.

[00:46:42]>> the in the past, that's in the past.

[00:46:47]It's not here right now, is it?

[00:46:50]>> Yeah.

[00:46:50]>> Yeah. It's it's like you're overthinking something that has not happened.

[00:46:54]>> Yeah.

[00:46:54]>> You know what I'm saying? Um >> Keep meeting the Keep meeting the present.

[00:46:58]>> Keep meeting the present. Yeah. You know, but it's the addiction of the mind is is that it it looks for the stash of the liquor from the past and drinks it in the future.

[00:47:08]So, it can never be sober, right? So, yeah.

[00:47:11]>> Mhm.

[00:47:13]Mhm.

[00:47:13]>> So, make every moment sober, basically.

[00:47:16]Right? And if it seems, you know, boring sometimes, right? It's okay.

[00:47:21]>> No, it's Yeah, it's not. That's That's That was the confusion That was the confusing part, you know, is that it's I see >> It's not boring.

[00:47:30]>> I feel I feel the excitement of being sober.

[00:47:34]>> That's what it is. I love it. I love it.

[00:47:36]Yeah.

[00:47:37]>> I feel the excitement. I feel the benefit. I feel how it affects my wife, how it affects my kids.

[00:47:43]>> Yeah.

[00:47:44]>> And like why, you know, why would the mind I I don't even think about getting drunk?

[00:47:49]>> Yeah.

[00:47:49]>> I do I do think of tasting it. That's the thing.

[00:47:53]>> And again, that's just the urge. That's just the conditioning. That's just, you know, a program that that plays, right?

[00:47:58]So, so when that that happens then meet it without meet it without um what's between acceptance and rejections?

[00:48:09]Because the more if you reject it then you want to, you know, you'll have more cravings for it.

[00:48:13]If you accept it then you go for it basically, right?

[00:48:18]>> In between.

[00:48:19]>> In between, yeah. Because if you look at that liminal space um you know, if you go in between there are really no opposites. Both are thoughts.

[00:48:29]The thought of accepting it, the thought of rejecting it. So, this is the departure from all those teachers is people tell you to accept.

[00:48:36]Or or to to observe. No, because that's just another facet of you that's trying to accept or you know.

[00:48:43]>> Yeah.

[00:48:43]>> Yeah.

[00:48:45]>> Yeah.

[00:48:46]I did I did ask one day I was listening to you and I once it was over and I'm by myself I was like what's between drinking and not drinking?

[00:48:56]>> Yeah, yeah.

[00:48:57]>> [laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:48:59]>> But it stumped me.

[00:49:02]>> Good.

[00:49:03]>> me. Yeah. Yeah, it stumped >> It's supposed to stump you.

[00:49:06]>> Yeah.

[00:49:06]>> Yeah.

[00:49:08]>> Yeah.

[00:49:08]>> It's supposed to. Yeah.

[00:49:10]So, where's where's the you? Yeah, where's the you that has to drink or not drink?

[00:49:14]>> Mhm.

[00:49:19]Yeah.

[00:49:20]>> Because if you choose not drink then one day you'll drink again.

[00:49:23]You know what I'm saying? But if you start seeing that drinking and not drinking are both thoughts or just both beliefs that you have to do or not do.

[00:49:31]Then you're reinforcing that you that is absent actually without language, without words.

[00:49:39]You is just you is just or you your your idea, your character, your belief is just a language and program that you have somehow picked up when you're a kid. It's almost like a it's almost like a um a foreign um you know um um It's like an illness that we found out that identity.

[00:50:00]>> Mhm.

[00:50:01]>> That makes us separate from the world basically um from each other. Yeah.

[00:50:06]>> But it's something that is you know it it's widespread.

[00:50:10]Um >> Mhm.

[00:50:12]>> So it's just being thought sober.

[00:50:15]If you know of something about sobriety, right? So thought sober is the next level of sobriety and it's beautiful.

[00:50:24]>> Thought Oh yeah yeah yeah.

[00:50:25]>> Yeah.

[00:50:26]>> Sober on of the thought.

[00:50:28]>> Yeah.

[00:50:28]>> Yeah yeah yeah I heard you I heard that you talked a lot about >> sobriety.

[00:50:33]>> What was Yeah.

[00:50:35]What was really um I don't want to say helpful but I do I am going to say helpful to you was that when you went sober on all the information.

[00:50:46]>> I did, yeah.

[00:50:47]>> Yeah.

[00:50:48]Yeah. You're going nuts on the information and then you like that was the biggest >> It's like alcoholism basically. It's like any addiction, right? It's like uh You know you're you're And the funny thing is I was trying to sober up by drinking.

[00:51:03]>> Mhm.

[00:51:04]>> That's what I was doing.

[00:51:06]>> Mhm.

[00:51:08]>> So going to the next is trying to sober up while you know with the hand in your with the with the with the glass of tequila in your hand.

[00:51:18]>> Yeah.

[00:51:19]>> Yeah.

[00:51:20]>> Yeah.

[00:51:24]>> Yeah.

[00:51:25]And it's just really clarifying over and over and over and over again, right?

[00:51:30]It's just a illumination of what's here rather than the confusion of what's in the past or the future.

[00:51:37]And you'll see the programming keep on running. You know what I'm saying? It will just keep on running.

[00:51:41]>> Yeah.

[00:51:42]>> you know it's the same thing when you quit alcohol basically, right? The programming is still running. It was probably difficult in the beginning.

[00:51:48]But the the the the payback of clarity and sobriety is so wonderful.

[00:51:54]>> Oh, it's amazing.

[00:51:55]>> It's amazing, yeah.

[00:51:56]>> Yeah.

[00:51:57]>> I used to be such a thinker and I love it, you know, that there are really no thoughts here, right? So, it's just the >> Mhm.

[00:52:06]>> And I don't have to pretend, you know what I'm saying? Um it's just what's natural here.

[00:52:11]>> Mhm.

[00:52:12]>> It's it's what what So, it's like the default setting. It's just no past or future.

[00:52:18]The thoughts may come, but they're not um intrusive anymore.

[00:52:21]>> Mhm. Not sticky.

[00:52:23]>> Not sticky. No. No.

[00:52:26]Yeah. Or sometimes I laugh. Sorry, go ahead.

[00:52:29]>> No, no. Go ahead.

[00:52:31]>> I can't remember now, see?

[00:52:33]>> [laughter] >> Um Do you um You know, you get self-conscious of words, yeah.

[00:52:48]>> It's okay. I'm not a word police.

[00:52:50]>> I got >> [laughter] >> Do you use yours the use uh your like your true nature or infinite being or you use I mean you're Do you use that? I mean, do you Does that resonate with you?

[00:53:09]Infinite being?

[00:53:10]>> Um They're just words for me. They're just another thoughts, yeah. You know, for for me there's a clarity here that does not require any language or any convincing.

[00:53:20]Right? There's a directness here that's that's I'm just trying to point out that what's here is what's also there.

[00:53:25]>> Mhm.

[00:53:26]>> So, we can I can say that there's just infinite being.

[00:53:29]There's no you and I, yeah.

[00:53:32]So, there's no hierarchy, right? There's no teacher or guru here. It's just the direct This is just the directness.

[00:53:39]This is just something that is um that sees through all of the um um narratives of you and I.

[00:53:46]And I tried to show you that over and over and over again. Hopefully, there is a pinprick that will keep on, you know, that light will start coming through, you know what I'm saying? And and then takes all of the all of the walls that have been created, the imaginary walls that keeps you from seeing what's always here over and over again. So, when you see what's here, there's no you seeing it.

[00:54:12]And again, it's not in the nexus. What's here? Because, you know, simply if you take away the language, where's the you that sees this?

[00:54:21]If you take away the past or future, where's the belief that's here?

[00:54:28]>> You're breaking up.

[00:54:30]>> Oh, sorry.

[00:54:32]Um can you hear me now?

[00:54:33]>> a little bit there. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:54:36]Yeah.

[00:54:37]>> Okay.

[00:54:38]>> I'm still using I'm still using uh >> Oh.

[00:54:43]No.

[00:54:47]>> You know, trying to Right. So, you cut out there from >> You said you're still using and then it cut out.

[00:54:52]>> I'm still using me as an infinite being and here's my mind trying to run.

[00:55:00]infinite being >> No, take No.

[00:55:03]That's just another belief system that, you know, um What are you without any any of that?

[00:55:11]>> Mhm.

[00:55:15]>> There's just a directness.

[00:55:21]Because it's easy to to get caught up in that and then it feels blissful and everything.

[00:55:27]But I'd rather be sober even from that, right? Because uh when when when life falls apart, where's is infinite being?

[00:55:36]Kind of thing.

[00:55:37]>> Mhm.

[00:55:38]>> Yeah.

[00:55:38]>> Yeah.

[00:55:41]>> You're just basically making a like a new imaginary thought.

[00:55:45]>> I'm imagining something that would shield the >> That's right. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:55:49]>> thoughts.

[00:55:50]>> Exactly. Yeah.

[00:55:51]>> I'm looking for a shield. I'm looking for that thing like Israel have that dome, you know, the dome that reflects all the missiles. I'm looking for that.

[00:56:00]>> No. No.

[00:56:01]>> that.

[00:56:02]>> Yeah. And again, that's just that's just another another fabrication of the mind, right? So >> Yeah.

[00:56:07]>> I'm just very direct in this. Very simple what I do, right? So it's uh um it's uh it's a constant sobriety to what's here.

[00:56:15]Without the imaginary thinking of consciousness or awareness or infinite being or any of those words. Nothing wrong with the words, but they were but they're still made up.

[00:56:23]>> Yeah.

[00:56:24]>> If every single word is made up, then even infinite and being is also made up.

[00:56:30]>> Mhm.

[00:56:32]>> And it's okay to use those, you know, I'm not saying don't. You know what I'm saying?

[00:56:35]>> Yeah.

[00:56:35]>> Um but but when it becomes an another internal struggle, right? Because you're you're trying to shield the thoughts from the infinite being from the thoughts.

[00:56:44]Then that just becomes another narrative. So let's cut the narrative and just go directly. So take away the observer of this moment.

[00:56:52]Take away the language.

[00:56:54]It's going to be really simple. It's like sobering up, right? Because that can be intoxicating.

[00:56:58]Um >> Yeah.

[00:57:00]>> Yeah.

[00:57:04]>> Mhm.

[00:57:05]>> Take away the words.

[00:57:07]Take away the past and the future. Then what's left?

[00:57:10]Or what's wrong?

[00:57:20]>> Mhm.

[00:57:22]But like who's taking it away?

[00:57:25]>> Just another thought. It's just a thought to take away the thorn. And then you throw both thorns.

[00:57:32]I I to use language somehow, right?

[00:57:34]>> Mhm.

[00:57:35]>> [laughter] >> Yeah.

[00:57:41]Yeah.

[00:57:42]>> Or meet space with space.

[00:57:50]>> What about um I feel like a child.

[00:57:54]>> That's okay.

[00:57:56]That's okay.

[00:57:56]>> like a child. What about this? And what about that?

[00:57:59]>> Why is the sky blue?

[00:58:00]>> [laughter] >> Exactly.

[00:58:02]>> Yeah.

[00:58:02]>> Exactly. I get up in the morning, I have a coffee outside, and I'm looking at the sky.

[00:58:07]>> Yeah.

[00:58:07]>> And I'm like the sky is space, it's nothing. It's space, it's space, it's space. It's like it's the only thing that I'm looking at that it's like nothing, it's space.

[00:58:18]>> Yeah.

[00:58:19]>> Um like I want to cling onto that, you know?

[00:58:27]That's space my that's my space. That's the space I founded, that's the space.

[00:58:31]>> Don't claim it.

[00:58:33]>> Yeah.

[00:58:33]>> Yeah. What's between space and no space?

[00:58:36]>> [laughter] >> Uh >> You're liv- you're living in paradise there. You know what I'm saying? And >> Oh.

[00:58:45]>> Um you're living in paradise, don't pave don't pave paradise with roads from the past and roads to the future.

[00:58:53]>> Mhm.

[00:58:53]>> It's like that Joni Mitchell song, right?

[00:58:55]>> Yeah.

[00:58:56]>> Oh, no, don't you know?

[00:58:58]>> Yeah.

[00:58:59]>> They'll never know what you got till it's gone. You paved paradise, put in a parking lot. Don't put parking lots.

[00:59:05]>> Mhm.

[00:59:06]>> Yeah. What's in between >> I don't Yeah.

[00:59:10]>> and not this. And then that's paradise, but you can't say, you know what I'm saying? That's why when you're walking and there's just this space and there's clarity, that's paradise.

[00:59:17]>> Mhm.

[00:59:18]Yeah.

[00:59:18]>> Yeah.

[00:59:20]>> I was walking down the street where there's so much suffering.

[00:59:24]And somehow I saw paradise in that. And I was like, "Oh my goodness." Because I saw that the suffering was made up.

[00:59:33]>> Mhm.

[00:59:36]>> All right. Uh I have another session coming up.

[00:59:39]>> Yes.

[00:59:39]>> Renaldo, but I would suggest book >> Thank you so much.

[00:59:42]>> book one right away because I get booked up quite fast. And if you need something sooner, just message me and I I can probably squeeze you in.

[00:59:49]>> Okay. I'll do that.

[00:59:50]>> All right.

[00:59:50]>> Yeah.

[00:59:51]>> Okay. Thank you, Renaldo.

[00:59:53]>> Hey. Mhm. Aloha.

[00:59:55]>> Aloha. Yeah.

[00:59:57]>> [clears throat]