Stoner Til I Die, Babes: Solo Episode | With Whit Podcast

Añadido: 2026-05-14

[00:00:05]Hi guys. Welcome to With Whit. I'm trying a new setup today. I'm at the foot of my bed. I just wanted somewhere cozy and comfortable to sit on the floor. And like I'm also trying out new setups in the house.

[00:00:20]I want to make this look good for you guys. This is a solo. I hope you're excited. Get excited. We have a lot to talk about. It feels like it's been a while since we have connected. So, let's see here. I'm home right now. Ophelia's here with me. The house feels quiet.

[00:00:44]Sunny's at school. And it honestly just feels so nice to have a second to think.

[00:00:49]I feel like this week has actually been really really steady in a way that I needed. Like nothing super dramatic happened. Nothing that I can even really remember. Nothing chaotic. No highs or lows. It just felt like productive and grounding and kind of like I'm slowly getting back into my rhythm after a bunch of travel. But can't get too comfortable cuz have more travel this week. But just feels like it's been a calm and steady week. And I've really been focusing on cleaning up my inbox and getting back to those emails that I pushed down, you know, and neglected and procrastinated. Organize my life a little bit. Think about summer. Revisit bigger picture ideas that I haven't really had the mental space for lately.

[00:01:36]And I actually have this a random idea that I'm really excited about and I've been thinking about nonstop. And I'm finally like, you know what, Whitney, put your [ __ ] together and organize your thoughts and let's figure out how we can produce this. So, essentially it's an elevated convenience store and gas station concept. I just feel like going to the gas station sucks. And as women, it can feel intimidating to go to a gas station, especially at night. And if we have kids, and if they want the snacks, and everything is disgusting, and we have to go so often, and it's like, why can't there be a safe, curated haven for us to stop at to get our necessities and our essentials, and maybe a few extras and things that we don't need, and feel comfortable getting gas, and not wanting to like run out, get back in our car, lock the doors, and like be scared to do it. Like, this shouldn't be something that we fear. So, I like know that it sounds a little bit insane when I say it aloud, but I just also feel weirdly obsessed with it, and it goes back to my idea of the weed truck and selling coffee and juices and flowers and just having a space where women can come together and buy these beautiful things.

[00:02:50]And there's more and more places like that opening up. There's obviously after the trend of Erewhon and and there's a new spot in West Hollywood. I'm blanking on the name right now, but it's a new Erewhon style market. And it's like, I'm not trying to be that. Like, I still want it to be better options of everything, healthier, more organic, less sugar, cleaner options of everything, but not expensive. This is like creating a place that feels safe and calming and curated and beautiful instead of like fluorescent and chaotic and gross and somewhere that we actually want to stop with our children. I don't know. Maybe it's because I feel like everyone is craving comfort right now, even in the smallest everyday moments, but it just feels like something that's necessary.

[00:03:34]And like, what are these gas station brands? Like, 76, Chevron, ExtraMile, United. I mean, there's obvious Speedway, like a million different ones, and there's got to be some red tape, and who knows what it means to run a gas station, but I'm like going to get into it, and I'm going to figure it out. and I think that's also where my mind has been a little bit more lately because it hasn't been so scheduled that I've been able to just like be creative and like let my brain soften a little bit and be also a little bit more intentional with my time. I also feel like I've really been trying to settle back into this swing for usual of balancing work and being a mom and not feeling like I'm failing both all the time at the same time. I know that that is something that you probably can all relate to. Like some weeks I feel really on top of things and I feel like I've got my [ __ ] together and then other weeks I feel like every area of my life is like slightly slipping through my fingertips.

[00:04:40]What this podcast does is it forces me to take a look back at my week and a look at what's moving forward and reflect on what's happened and what I want to happen. And so a lot of it comes back to this productivity conversation because I have no choice but to be looking back and seeing what I've done and what I've been thinking about and working on and then what I want to do because I'm talking to you about it all the time. So like I don't want to quiet my mind when I do start to talk about that even though it's something I talk about all the time. Like just balancing a schedule that I have to make myself.

[00:05:12]Like it it can be a really freeing thing. Like obviously working for myself is amazing and I take all the pros over the cons every single day. The freedom that it allows me. But I think me being in charge of my time and my schedule and not necessarily having those executive functioning skills to do that is what's making me always spin about how I'm spending my time and if I'm spending it the right way. And some of me was thinking maybe it's time for me to talk to a like a career coach or I don't know, someone like that where I can really help create some sort of structure for myself and motivate myself and give me something tangible to work towards and like organize my thoughts and organize my goals and be monitoring all that. I don't know, maybe that would be helpful. Something I'm thinking about lately, but I don't want to bore you with this conversation, but I do think it is something that a lot of working moms struggle with is like, "What have I done with my time and did I make the best use of it and how can I make the best use of it in the future?" And I think that we're always juggling that because life is always changing, so we're always having to face those questions. So, moving off of productivity and into some lack of productivity, my trip to Costa Rica, which feels like forever ago at this point, but it was so great, so needed.

[00:06:34]It was really honestly able to unplug and relax and I didn't know going into it that I would honestly feel that way.

[00:06:44]One of my good mom friends from school won this amazing house in Costa Rica in an auction, which already sounds fake when I say it out loud, but she decided to invite about eight girls for her 40th birthday and I said, "Yes" to this trip about a year ago casually without really thinking hard about it and then all of a sudden the day got closer and I was like, "Oh my god, it's happening." Ah, you know, because I knew maybe half the group, like three of them are moms from school, someone that I knew from childhood, but not closely, just through friends and there was definitely a moment of like, "Oh my god, am I sharing a room with someone? Like, what are the sleeping arrangements? Is everybody already super close? What if I'm super weird and like can't hang and what if I want alone time?" And five nights all all of a sudden so it felt like kind of long to me, but it was really really incredible and I think group trips as an adult are kind of like fascinating psychologically because they immediately bring you back to this younger version of yourself. Like even if you're a grown woman with a child and a mortgage and a career and a husband, there's still this part of your brain, this tiny part of your brain that's like, "Will everyone like me? Like are we going to vibe?" And I realized for this trip just how much anticipatory anxiety had built up around it per usual before travel and this one especially because there were social dynamics involved and not because there were any actual reasons to feel anxious, but because there's just like something vulnerable about entering like perhaps an established group dynamic where you don't really fully know your role yet.

[00:08:25]And I also had this moment before leaving where I thought, "Okay, you either continue making your world smaller and smaller because comfort feels safer or you say yes to things and allow yourself to be surprised." Like I think this season for me is about saying yes to adventure. And thank God I went because it ended up being one of my favorite trips that I've taken in years.

[00:08:57]And Costa Rica is just unbelievable.

[00:08:59]It's so special. It's so gorgeous, like spiritually gorgeous. It smells different. The air smells amazing.

[00:09:06]Everything feels alive. There's just like sounds everywhere. The jungle so dense and monkeys were literally outside our house, like came and greeted us on our first morning there. We saw a sloth just like hanging in the tree. I felt like I was in Jurassic Park, but in a gorgeous house with my girlfriends. It was just amazing. I also realized something else major about myself on this trip, which is actually like I really do love the ocean and I do love water. I feel like Timmy and Sunny are always making fun of me. I like the always wanting me to come in the water and I just I don't want to go in and and most of it is just because the water is always cold, but I realized that if we're south of the equator, like I can go. Like I jumped in that ocean so fast, let the waves topple over me like a little kid, floated down the river on my back, like ran into a waterfall, let the waterfall crash on me and like screamed and just released whatever I needed to release.

[00:10:07]It just It felt so amazing and I really didn't realize how badly I needed that.

[00:10:12]I think I've just been carrying a lot of tension lately. Like, you know, the mom stuff doesn't go away. It's something that I deal with on a daily basis and it's kind of like this constant humming in the back of my head and then along with the surrogacy situation, like we talked about last week, that's just like this thing that's just like on you in the back of my head and I just really felt being able to be somewhere like so physically wild and so out in the nature just like cracked me open a little bit and made my world feel bigger and like gave me perspective on things. We also went zip-lining, which was I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I some moments where because there were four girls from the same school I was talking about school [ __ ] nonstop and the other women just like not being able to engage or get involved. So, I'm sure that was annoying, but it was blissful. It really was. The connection with the women was really special for me. I get hard on myself and I I have this narrative for myself that I don't make friends easily and that I'm like kind of closed off and like I don't initiate plans and it's true. Like all of these things are true. It's harder for me to to nurture that initial connection. And a lot of my friends are my friends that have been since I was a little girl, so it doesn't take that like trying part, but this really stretched me. It really stretched that muscle for me and I realized that like I do love connecting with women and having the friendships and I may not be the kind of person that's going to text and chit-chat with you all day long, but like I just need to feel emotionally safe first and I'm not necessarily someone that just like walks into a room and immediately spills my guts and becomes best friends with everyone. Like I do need a bit of warmth and I need ease and I need to like feel myself without feeling like I have to perform, which is something that like I'll just turn to if I'm feeling uncomfortable and then I'll start doing this like performative voice and then I don't feel like myself and I feel like I was just awkward. So, I think like not having responsibilities, being out of my comfort zone, being out of the role that I am at home really allowed me to be just like free and easy on this trip and there was something so freeing about being away without responsibilities attached and I don't mean that in a negative way towards Timmy and Sunny.

[00:13:19]Obviously, they're my guys, but when you're home or even when you're traveling with them, you're still needed in certain like tiny invisible ways and this travel on your own with girls is like such a refreshing thing where you're just not needed in those ways and no one is asking anything of you. Just existing for myself is something that I realized that I need to do more often and not deciding what I'm doing based off what everybody else is doing. Like during this trip I could wake up and decide exactly what I wanted to do that night day and I could nap if I wanted. I could partake in the activities if I wanted. I could read if I wanted. I could go in the ocean again if I wanted.

[00:13:55]jump in the pool if I wanted. I can drink a spicy margarita if I wanted. And it reminded me how important it is to just like still access that version of yourself once you become a mom and a partner with all the responsibilities and adulty things.

[00:14:10]One thing that both Timmy and I have been trying to focus on lately is finding routines that actually fit into real life. Not the version of life where you have extra free time and motivation, but real life with work, travel, sunny, unpredictable schedules, all of it.

[00:14:26]That's why I would try to use in Obé Fitness and we have honestly been loving it. Obé Fitness is a digital fitness platform that gives you structured workout programs and expert-led classes designed to help you stay consistent and see real results. What I personally love is that it removes the guesswork. You open the app, you pick a program, and you're not wasting any time trying to decide what workout to do. It's all laid out for you in a way that feels doable and sustainable and perfect. We set up a little situation in our garage. It's built for real life with effective workouts you can do anywhere in as little as 10, which is huge for me. So much of the time I only have 10 or 20 minutes in between things and Obé is perfect for these chunks of time with classes that still leave me feeling strong, energized, and happy that I did something good for myself. They have Pilates, strength, cardio, stretching.

[00:15:18]Everything is in one place and you can mix it up depending on your mood or energy level. If you're looking for something that helps you stay consistent without overthinking it, try Obé Fitness free for 30 days at obefitness.com with code wit. That's obefitness.com, o b e fitness.com and use code wit for your free 30-day trial. Moms, you know how kids are about food. They can't get enough of what they want. If it were up to Sunny, all he'd eat would be ice cream and candy. I'm always doing the gentle, "Okay, but let's keep it balanced." Saying no is hard, but watching out for them is part of the job. Then, I think about moms managing food allergies and it really puts things in perspective. Limiting treats is one thing, but for them, it's reading every label, asking questions, double-checking everything their child eats all the time. With May being food allergy awareness month, it's an important reminder that so many families are navigating this every day. That's why I'm glad there are treatments like Xolair, omalizumab. Xolair 150 mg is an FDA-approved injectable medication proven to significantly reduce allergic reactions if a food allergy accident happens. It works by focusing on the source behind food allergy reactions.

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[00:19:45]There's just got a little snap, and I wanted to know if anybody is as obsessed with these as I am. These Annie's organic fruit tape that are like fruit roll-ups that I like roll up into balls. We're just talking about Costa Rica.

[00:20:03]I definitely would go back. I really want to bring Sunny. I just think that it would be an amazing experience for him. sensory with all the animals, all the adventure, and I think that it can make kids curious and brave and connected to nature in a way that can feel really grounding, and I want that to be a focus of our further vacations.

[00:20:24]Like I've said, we're going to Vermont in July, and I talked to this art studio there that's actually a painting a mural over graffiti under a bridge in Vermont.

[00:20:34]They're going to be working on it the whole month of July, and so we're going to work on that as like a project and a camp situation for Sunny, and I need to shepherd him into more projects and experiences like that. I will say coming back from a trip like that was a little bit jarring, even though I talked about how this week was pretty steady, and it was. It really was, but one minute I felt like I was screaming under a waterfall in Costa Rica, like spiritually reborn, and then the next minute I'm back like cleaning the dishes, loading the dishwasher, separating the whites and the darks, cleaning out my mom's house, which is an ongoing project, and trying to remember if Sunny has football or not. And like yeah, that's just where my head's at.

[00:21:21]Wednesday night I actually went out with my sisters and their husbands to this Netflix event. You probably seen all over social media this week was the Netflix is a joke series. We went first at Rogan's show because he was doing it to support hilarity for charity, which is his organization that helps support caregivers for those with Alzheimer's, and it's a organization that I support and want to attend anything that they do. And it was fun. It was at the Greek Theatre.

[00:21:48]It was like a night out for the six of us. Greek Theatre's amazing. Like one great thing about Los Angeles that we don't do in Nashville is enjoy the outdoor music. But it was just it was great. The funniest person was probably Nick Kroll. He was like a standout. He's just one of those people that every time he talks you're just like entertained.

[00:22:11]And then a fun surprise guest, Busta Rhymes came out at the end, and that was just like so random and amazing and nostalgic, and he was so charismatic and great, and I had no idea, and I was like, where has he been our whole lives?

[00:22:25]But yeah, like I will say leaving Sunny before bedtime is getting harder and harder for me, and I thought you know, it's one of those things where as they get older you think that they're able to separate more, and I just feel like no, he has such a routine, and it's so important now that it's getting harder for us to leave. So, I try to do like one night out a week.

[00:22:49]And I really try to look at my evenings a little bit differently now. Like if I'm going to leave the house at night, I want it to feel worthwhile. I feel like yeah, one or two nights out is kind of a sweet spot before I start craving like being back home and being in my comfort zone. I also realized recently that if I'm going to drink, I think I'm going to have like either a dirty martini if I'm going to keep it hard or red wine. Like those are my only two options and they can't be mixed. But I don't know.

[00:23:19]Hearing me say that though, I'm just like when did I become this person? I honestly though, I have always kind of been this person. Like I think I've always been slightly allergic to alcohol. Stoner to fly babe.

[00:23:31]A part of me has actually remained remarkably consistent. One of the only things that has. But Timmy's really honestly the same way. He doesn't really crave nights out at all or drinking. And when he does drink like he likes to drink. Like not like insane, but like he's not a casual drinker. He's drinking to have fun and he definitely doesn't like big events or large crowds. But I think for some reason like the outdoor LA venues that don't have so much chaos going on intrigue him. So maybe that's something that we can get more into.

[00:24:05]Moving into my lately mixed bag section because I feel like this is just where all my random thoughts in my brain live.

[00:24:15]First of all, I want to talk about TV and what we're watching right now because why am I so uninspired? Do I just not know what's on out there? Am I just like not type talking to the right people? All I'm watching is Real Housewives of Rhode Island and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And by the way, Beverly Hills is over and there was a three-part reunion. And can I just ask why we need a three-part reunion for a season that was so ugh? Like am I the only one that thought it was ugh? I don't I haven't really talked about this with people, but like I was so bored.

[00:24:48]There needs to be a mix up. Like a cast mix up. Keep Dorit, keep Kyle, keep Rachel, keep Erika. And like maybe mix up the rest. I don't know, man. I I definitely didn't need a three-part reunion. Like uh we are watching Summer House, too, but like that I watch with Timmy, and it's only on once a week. Like I need a more bingey shows. I I have been reading Lena Dunham's Famesick. I just finished it a couple days ago, and so I thought about rewatching Girls and doing like a little binge session of that, but I don't know. Oh, someone told me that Love Island starts in June. I think they said June 2nd, and I honestly think like that will probably become my summer personality, which is uh like uh like oh my god, I'm one of those, but also like so beautiful and I'm so down to get into it. Like I have these vivid memories of me going through my fertility situation a couple summers ago watching Love Island like with a heating pad, door closed, blinds down on my laptop in bed, and it was just so comforting, so so so comforting. I will say though, I think the reason why I am kind of not in a groove with TV is because I'm more in a groove with reading, and reading is what I feel like fully relaxes me, and I am in a phase where I can actually nap now.

[00:26:15]You guys, like I never nap in my entire life. Could never nap. I'm sure when I was a baby, I napped, but like always wanted to be the person that could nap and just couldn't, and now I can. And reading really calms my whole system down, and like I'm not reading to fall asleep. Like I'm also listening to my book in the car. Like I'm reading to read, and I'm absorbing everything, and I'm watching where I fall asleep, and I'm rewinding, and going back, and that part is kind of annoying, but like it really is a form of meditation for me, and I think that now I crave that over watching TV because that is just like it's just not a real form of relaxation.

[00:26:55]I end up being on my phone and shopping like everybody else. So yesterday I ended up doing that twice in the morning cuz Sunny slept out. I had some free time and it was also Mother's Day. So I listened to my book and I fell back to sleep for an hour from like 9:00 to 10:00 and then in the afternoon I started listening to Diane von Fürstenberg's autobiography, The Woman I Wanted to Be, and fell asleep outside.

[00:27:19]But should I stick with Diane von Fürstenberg's The Woman I Wanted to Be?

[00:27:25]I don't know. I fell asleep so quickly, but also her voice is just so soothing and comforting and I was tired. And not an insult to the book, but I do like the idea of sticking with it to hear her story. I saw the recommendation on Valéria Lipovetsky's Instagram. I save a folder of books that I want to read and this was one that she said really stuck with her and she's had so many different evolutions and she's just a woman whose identities have evolved so many times publicly. I'm so interested in that and identify with that. And speaking of evolving identities, Sunny, school Honestly, we haven't been having the easiest time lately. Nothing dramatic or alarming, but he's like definitely been distracted and distractible in class and kind of just like over it. And I know it's the end of the school year, but he really needs to finish out strong. When we chat with him about it and he's very self-aware about it and we've been having a lot of conversations about finishing the year strong and how everybody kind of checks out mentally around this time. So I'm not trying to stress too much about it, but it's definitely not something that I like hearing in an email from a teacher on Friday afternoon at like 3:00 p.m.

[00:28:36]Pretty annoying. And he has become pretty vocal about not wanting to go to camp this summer, hence why I talked about the art situation in Vermont. But I am going to sign him up for some camp with some friends. Like I can make that happen. I can sign him up for a situation that he feels comfortable in.

[00:28:55]I just like I remember that exact feeling when I was younger and I feel like probably so many of you can, too.

[00:29:00]Like I remember that pit in my stomach of not wanting to go somewhere unfamiliar and just like nothing in your comfort zone and your routines and your safe things and I get it and I do empathize with him, but it's also making me think a lot about parenting and discomfort and resilience and where the line is between listening to your child and accidentally helping him avoid like every uncomfortable feeling. Like I just don't want to do that. I don't want to rescue him all the time, but sometimes I just don't know where the line is. I want him to feel safe. I want him to feel emotionally supportive, but I also know that some of the most important experiences of my life came from me being pushed out of my comfort zone. I did this one six-week theater camp. I remember the first week it being hell. I distinctly remember the smell of it, too. And I was like this is this is not it. This is not it. And my parents pushed me to keep going, which I'm shocked they did cuz usually they let us kind of like I don't want to say quit, but yes, quit because if there were so many siblings, we had distractions and we were preoccupied and were able to play with each other at home, but I stuck with this and and it ended up being one of the best summers of my life and I had one of my first like real crushes. What's his name?

[00:30:19]Michael Weintraub? Anyways, a lot of learning is that discomfort doesn't necessarily mean danger and I need him to learn that. So we're figuring that out right now. I wrote down like a note about writing about something that's annoying me right now and that is just like text messages. Like can people just not? Like this is a PSA for anyone in my life. like I mean, send me a text, but don't expect me to respond right away. Like, I don't know what it is. It It's like there's in every facet of my life, but like I just need time to think about things. I can't I can't I cannot text and like I don't want to be in text conversations, and I don't want to engage text conversations, and I just think that they're a waste of time, and I know that that makes me sound like an antisocial [ __ ] that cannot evolve with modern forms of communication, but like I I just don't want to do it. I just don't want to do it. I think it's also just because every time I open it, it's a reminder of something that I haven't done or something that I need to answer to, and I then like it's been too long, and then I spiral, and then it becomes embarrassing to respond, you know, that late, but I still need to respond, and it just feels like performative and exhausting to me, and I would I don't know. I'm down with voice notes. Send me voice notes. I feel like those are really precise and amazing, or maybe just like communicate with me by beautifully handwritten note and drawn by horse at this point, like I don't know what to tell you. I am truly excited. I'm going to Mexico this weekend again. I'm such a spoiled brat [ __ ] but there was this trip I was supposed to go with my girlfriend. She's a Pilates instructor Pilates by Amanda.

[00:32:10]I need to have her on this podcast, but she's an amazing Pilates instructor, and she organizes these retreats every year.

[00:32:16]I've gone to two of them. I think she's in like three of them, and we were going to go in March, the weekend of my birthday, and it ended up being rescheduled because of the cartel and everything that was going on there, and now we are going. I am thrilled. Like, I feel so lucky and blessed to be able to go.

[00:32:38]We're going to do a million bajillion Pilates classes, horseback riding, sound baths, cooking classes, a tennis class, like I just I'm just in for all of it.

[00:32:48]And I know that this time I have my own room, and it's a gorgeous resort, and like I'm not anxious or nervous about any of it. So, let's [ __ ] go. I'm going to go I don't know what else do I have to do? I have to call the bank. I have to call the bank. I need to do that today. Unless probably at this point the bank is closed on the East Coast. You guys, banks like I can't believe they exist. I had to go into one the other day and like it still didn't fix my issue. I feel so old when I go into the bank. I feel so old. And I just like it brings me back to my days of like just never wanting to go to the bank with my parents and that being like the ultimate terrible errand to have to go on with them. All right, I'm going to leave you with that. I hope this has been a fun solo for you guys. I had fun. I'm comfy here. Just like chilling. This feels comfy. I will chat with you guys soon.

[00:33:36]We've been doing a lot of date nights, a good amount of solos. I know we have some great guests coming down the pipeline, [music] and I'm just excited to continue on this podcast adventure with [music] you. Everyone have a great week, okay?

[00:33:55]All right.

[00:33:56]Peace in the streets.