Overstaying Your Welcome in Toxic Relationships

追加: 2026-05-22

[00:00:00]So, something came to mind for me today about overstaying your welcome. And a lot of people believe that overstaying your welcome means that you're at somebody's house eating all they food, drinking all they drink, and they giving you all kind of hints, trying to let you know it's time to go, and you just not taking the hint.

[00:00:22]Overstay your welcome has many meanings.

[00:00:28]And I can honestly say that there's been many instances where I've overstayed my welcome. Okay? And we overstay our welcome for many reasons. Okay? And what I want to tell you is anytime life, anytime a certain situation, anytime someone that you're dealing with continues to give you resistance some way, somehow it's time to take a step back, look at the situation, make a change because you have possibly overstayed your welcome.

[00:01:08]A lot of us stay in dead relationships longer than what we need to.

[00:01:15]And we do that for many reasons. I can tell you that I've done it and I did it with the last relationship I was in for 15 years.

[00:01:25]Often times when we grow up and we see certain things so often it becomes normal to us.

[00:01:36]It becomes so normal that when the people in our life mimic these behaviors, we think it's normal.

[00:01:46]We just don't know because we aren't taught human behavior.

[00:01:51]I teach my children a lot of things about human behavior, about how people behave and what's right and what's wrong. and and trust and please believe what's right and what's wrong is different for everybody. It's subjective.

[00:02:07]I know I have my standards of what is right and what is wrong in regards to how I want to be respected, how I want to be spoken to, how I want to be treated.

[00:02:22]And I stayed in a relationship longer than what I need to for many reasons that I was naive. I was young. Didn't understand human behavior.

[00:02:36]Didn't know if things were normal. Is this normal?

[00:02:41]Anytime that you ever have to question, is this normal? Is that normal for someone to do that, you need to Google it. Seriously, Google it. That is how it started for me to where I was able to say, you know what, I Googled that to see if that was normal and this popped up.

[00:03:03]One thing that I can say that I will never tolerate again is when I bring a problem to someone that I feel like is my significant other or my friend or my family member. If I bring up something that is bothering me, that you're doing, that's hurting me, that is just making me uncomfortable, and you walk around and and you get upset that I brought it up and then walk around and ignore me for days, I will no longer tolerate that.

[00:03:40]That is a form of manipulation. And that is how I overstayed my welcome in my relationships, specifically my last relationship.

[00:03:54]If you are in a relationship with someone and you bring up something that's bothering you and it turns into an argument and you try to bring it back to reach some sort of middle ground and it never happens or the argument gets bigger and bigger, it escalates and then your significant other says, "I need I need to breathe. I need some time." and then they walk around and don't say anything for days. That's a form of manipulation that I endured for a very long time and I would never endure it again.

[00:04:35]If I am ever to get in another relationship with someone and we have a disagreement about something and I say, "Hey, let's let's bring it back. Let's talk about it. Let's reach a middle ground. Let me see how you feel. I'mma see how I feel. Let's figure this thing out so we don't have to come back here.

[00:04:54]If you're dealing with someone that can never reach a middle ground with you. If you're dealing with someone that every time you try to talk, they blow up and there's no calming them down.

[00:05:07]If you ever try to talk to someone and you tell them how you're feeling and they disregard your feelings, get upset with you, and ignore you for days on end, that is toxic.

[00:05:20]You have overstayed your welcome when you endure that for years on end. I overstayed my welcome.

[00:05:33]We overstay our welcome because we don't know when things are normal or not.

[00:05:40]Like I said in the beginning, some people tolerate things more than others.

[00:05:45]I now have things I will not tolerate.

[00:05:48]It doesn't matter if it's a friend, a family member, or a significant other.

[00:05:53]If we have a disagreement where we don't see eye to eye, and we can't talk and come to middle grounds, let it go. Move on and still say, "I love you at the end of the day. Let's have a great day.

[00:06:06]Sorry that this happened." I don't want to have nothing to do with you.

[00:06:12]I don't want to have nothing to do with anybody that cannot control their emotions. I don't want to have nothing to do with anybody that wants to walk around in the same house that I live in with this person and could ignore me and not speak to me for days.

[00:06:27]This happened to me many years. This happened to me. And I'm not acting like a victim at all. I thought that that was normal.

[00:06:40]I really did think some people just need to breathe for days on end to get over something and that is not the case. That is toxicity. That is manipulation. I would never do that to anybody that I say that I love unless I plan on not talking to you ever again. If I can go two and three and four days not talking to you because I'm mad, that's not the type of that's not the type of treatment that I want. Like I said, everyone tolerates different levels of treatment.

[00:07:18]I no longer want to be in the same company with anyone that does not know how to communicate. I've overstayed my welcome.

[00:07:30]If you cannot communicate, then what is the purpose of us being together?

[00:07:36]If I can't communicate to my friend and tell her you hurt me and she acknowledges and we can talk about it and move on from it, I've overstayed my welcome.

[00:07:49]If I don't know who you're going to be the next day and if you're going to not talk to me for days on end because of whatever reason, I've overstayed my welcome.

[00:08:03]I will no longer tolerate any type of treatment like that ever again.

[00:08:10]We got to stop staying in these relationships where we feel unwanted, unloved, unseen, unheard. I have been there. I know what it feels like.

[00:08:22]And I'mma tell you right now, anybody that I say I love and I'm willing to fight for the relationship, they will never be able to come to me hurt and I ignore it, blow up about it, and then ignore you for days on end.

[00:08:40]It's no way I would ever do that to anybody that I love and that I'm willing to work with. But then again, everybody tolerates different things.

[00:08:52]You have to stand in what you will and will not tolerate.

[00:08:58]Never overstay your welcome somewhere.

[00:09:01]When you feel like it's always some sort of resistance and you feel like you're the one that's always trying to make it work, but the other person is not, you're overstaying. You're welcome.

[00:09:17]If you work at a job and you feel like your supervisor has no respect for you, they treat you with disrespect and you have told them how you feel and nothing is getting done, you've overstayed your welcome.

[00:09:37]When you feel like you're always the one putting in effort and the other person is not, you overstand. You're welcome.

[00:09:46]You got to listen to me.

[00:09:49]I know it hurts. You know, we don't want to give up on relationships, especially ones that's lasted for a long time. But sometimes enough is enough.

[00:09:59]Sometimes you get tired. And that effort needs to be put on yourself. Once you put all that effort on yourself and then someone else comes around, you now know what you will and will not tolerate. And then let it go. Once those things start to happen, let it go. Move on. Uh-uh.

[00:10:19]I'm not tolerating it. I'm out. I'm done with this. Don't let it last for 5, 10, 15 years. Put it all back on yourself.

[00:10:28]Put all that effort you're trying to pour into somebody else or pour in that relationship. Take it, cut it off, and put it back into yourself. The right person will or will not come along.

[00:10:40]I am very very prepared to spend my life alone and I mean in a in a relationship not with my children. I am very prepared to spend a life alone entertaining myself.

[00:10:57]Very prepared for that. I'm starting to realize that even though I know that I'm a happy person, that I work on myself, I know that I bring something magical to the table, that does not guarantee that you're going to find somebody to do the same for you. And I'm no longer going to tolerate it when someone doesn't do what I do for them. I'm perfectly prepared to stay alone for the rest of my life, entertaining me, making my own self happy. I've looked at documentaries of women that are in their 90s that said, "I haven't dated since I was 40 years old and she in her 90s and she said she just did everything that she wanted to do to make her happy." Yeah. Get lonely sometime. Yeah. You want to get in the bed and rub your feet against somebody, have a warm body in the bed with you every now and again, but you won't die not being with somebody.

[00:11:55]I've already experienced love.

[00:11:58]I've already experienced it.

[00:12:01]Do I want to experience it again? Yeah, if the right person come along. But I don't want to experience what I just went through. I don't want that ever again. I do not want that ever again. to change your perception of people. When you go through something like that and you get to look back at what you have went through and all the things that happened, it changed your perception of people. It changes your perception of that person that you spent all that time with and it just changes your perception of yourself to where you become stronger if you don't let it break you.

[00:12:40]to where you now know somebody can put on a whole nice facade and they something else underneath.

[00:12:48]To know that some people put on mean hard facades but they are very good and soft people underneath. I've had both.

[00:12:57]I've had both. Good thing for me, God has given me the discernment to know the difference. I have met people with very hard exteriors and I can see right through them and know you'll give the shirt off your back if you would. And I've met people that has been very nice, come off as very nice, very helpful, very cunning, and they are the one of the most evilst people I've ever met. I'm telling you, I lived it.

[00:13:24]You can't pull the wool over my eyes no more. I lived with it.

[00:13:31]I was in the dungeon with a wolf in sheep's clothing.

[00:13:37]And I'm telling you right now, you can't pull the wool over my eyes any longer.

[00:13:44]I will no longer overstay my welcome in any situation.