Anger is a healthy emotion that serves as a messenger indicating unmet needs or boundaries, and it provides the energy to address these needs; the problem is not anger itself but how we express or suppress it, as avoidance often leads to destructive outbursts or shutdowns.
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Anger isn't the problem. It's what you do with it.Ajouté :
Anger isn't the problem. It's the messenger. Most people kill the messenger. When I hear most people talking about anger, they're actually talking about the expression of anger and often the expression that looks like rage, yelling, screaming, being really challenging.
There are other expressions of anger like shutting down, avoiding, hiding.
But those are the expressions of anger.
Anger itself is an emotion and like all emotions, it's a set of sensations we're experiencing in our body that can tell us something if we're willing to listen.
Anger itself can be a very healthy emotion. If we listen to it, it can help us see where there's an unmet need or maybe a boundary we need to establish.
And actually that sensation of anger can give us the energy or mobilization to ask for that need or to establish a boundary, whether that's an external boundary or an internal boundary. It's the avoidance or suppression of that emotion that will often lead to that blow up where people are yelling and screaming or we could call it the blow in where they completely shut down.
Don't shy away from anger as an emotion.
Lean into it. Be curious about it.
What's the message?
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