Why Remember Proves That TRAUMA IS NOT AN EXCUSE! - An Amazing Digital Circus Episode 9 Analysis

[00:00:00]Wow.

[00:00:01]So, that's uh that's really it, huh?

[00:00:05]The Amazing Digital Circus is over.

[00:00:09]In our lives for a mere 3 years, and yet blossomed a fandom big enough to form a small nation. Long live Circenzia, where our legal documents are all tweets, and our flag is made Jack's taped to a bedsheet. It does make me sad that we'll likely never see these goofballs in proper canon again. I mean, Gooseworx has made it pretty clear that they want out of this IP, meaning even small supplementary stuff is on into the future, we'll look back at this series and smile, remembering not just a landmark for independent animation, but a bittersweet plunge into the human psyche, which left us all with things to love and things to think about. Or maybe we'll just do it in denial and create our own AUs to cope, who knows. But, either way, the series is over now, and I've definitely got some things to say about the finale.

[00:00:54]Keep in mind, I only saw this once in the cinema, and my memory isn't exactly photographic. [music] So, if I missed any details or misinterpreted something, you're free to flick me in the comments.

[00:01:03]Unlike Caine, I don't got to jostle bones with the digital reaper to realize that I was wrong. So, with a heart as heavy as lead and a prescription for depression meds, let's cap off this amazing digital performance for good by analyzing everyone's final bow.

[00:01:17]Let's go.

[00:01:21]So, thanks to Kinger doing a fat finger while Caine speed ran his villain arc, the ringmaster is now gone, with his world of pure imagination crumbling to bits. And to make matters worse, Kinger drops a bombshell that the cast are in fact not trapped humans, but instead brain scans of folks that are currently out there IRL doing their own thing. My condolences to those who didn't believe in the Soma theory. All three of you. At first, the tentmates are having a bit of trouble coping, but soon they all learn to master their manifestation powers and try to repair the broken circus. All except for Jax, who does exactly what Zooble told him not to do, and wanders off somewhere to abstract. Pomni decides to play animal control to try and keep her funny bunny contained, and after plunging the circus into complete darkness, she lunges at abstracted Jax, which essentially teleports her into his mind, so she can see just how many shields the poor boy put up to mask his true feelings. After a full POV of Jax's life story, including one huge reveal which literally puts a bow on one of the fandom's biggest character theories, Pomni embraces him one final time before she's rescued by the other circus mates, who then band together to create a little pen of darkness for Jax to finally rest in. Meanwhile, Caine, who somehow survived his alt-f4, has a moment of self-reflection where he realizes his mistakes. He does a quick Google search of the tentmate socials, returns to the tent with an olive branch, shows the crew that their non-brain scan counterparts are living simple yet fruitful lives in the real world, and together they try to make the best of their current inescapable situation, ending the series on a bitter sweet, yet solemn and wholesome final note. All right, let's get the big one out of the way first. I'm sure when everyone saw the last Jax poster, they all shared the same brain cell for a moment, thinking that with Caine gone and the circus members' manifestation abilities confirmed, Jax was going to shape the entire circus in his image, torturing his underlings and becoming an even bigger bad than the circus's equivalent to god. I'm honestly really relieved that this didn't happen, since it not only would have eaten up the run time, which is already pretty dang tight, but it would have been redundant, too, since we just had a big [music] bad take over and defeat in the previous episode. Caine's villain arc was already kind of rushed as it was, so throwing in another one during the series' last chance at finality would have been a pretty dumb move. Instead, this weird Jax location that Pomni's wandering through is actually his subconscious, and it acts as the stage for what is easily the most unique and multifaceted character study we've ever seen in the show. When Pomni enters Nabbit's noggin, what lies before her is a corridor of doors. Not too similar to the hallway of ten made rooms in the circus, but these doors don't contain colorful accommodations. They hold dark repressed thoughts. Behind each door is an exaggerated scenario where one of the ten mates in the circus abstracts, and Jax is forced to deal with their loss.

[00:04:12]And it's through these seemingly surface level stylized scenarios that we see Jax's true mental issues in physical form. The fake coping mechanisms that he uses to hide the true way he feels about himself and others. The lies he tells himself to keep from getting closer to friends, both old and new. These are Jax's three masks. The first mask we see is in a world where Ragatha abstracts.

[00:04:38]It's quiet and ominous like a horror movie, [music] with Jax gently placing a hand on Ragatha's door without saying a word. Pomni runs over to him offering to help, even straight up saying she can fix him. But then Jax starts strangling her mercilessly with a big eyed creepy grin on his face. Pomni just narrowly manages to escape as Jax looks [music] at the camera as if to say, "If you try to help me, you're next." Now, this isn't the first time we've seen those big eyes and creepy grin. They appear whenever Jax is trying to hide his feelings in a highly emotional situation. Most prominently after [music] his fight with Pomni in episode six. In that instance, right before his face factory resets, he goes into [music] a rant about how people are not at all pleasant to be around right before they abstract. It's easy to imply that this means pre-abstracted folks might get overly aggressive and cruel.

[00:05:30]Maybe say certain things that they'd either never say, or have been hiding for a very long time. But here's the thing. When we actually see Jax's life through his eyes and witness Ribbit and Kaufmo's last acts before abstracting, they're not unpleasant at all. The worst things they do are or ask Jax if he needs help and try to keep the embers of their friendships burning. If anything, Jax is the unpleasant one, constantly turning them away and ignoring their offers. When you pair this with Jax's micro analysis of Ragatha in episode five, where he calls out her genuine acts of kindness [music] as her conditioning them so she can abuse them later, it's obvious what's going on here. As shown in his backstory later on, Jax grew up in an environment where kindness was conditional, when it even existed at all. He was only loved and appreciated if some kind of criteria was met, whether it be general lofty expectations or essentially being a stand-in for a completely different person. And whenever he didn't live up to these expectations, he was ridiculed and reprimanded by his terrible parents.

[00:06:27]Not only did this give him self-esteem issues, where he believed that he wasn't worthy of affection and that he just makes everyone around him worse, but from that point on, genuine warm affection directed at him was something he would never be able to fully trust or accept. He knows that true love exists and he obviously wants it, but due to his abuse, there will always be that little voice telling him that what these people are doing isn't fully sincere.

[00:06:51]And even if it was, he shouldn't have it in the first place. So his mind is constantly at odds with itself, jumping in to deflect [music] emotion at the worst possible moments. And every time kindness is presented to him, while he may accept it at first, [music] his defense mechanism eventually wins out and he pushes his loved ones away.

[00:07:09]At some point it becomes too much for them to bear and they take their leave, often leading to abstraction, a scenario where they're essentially too far gone to be saved and Jax is left by himself once again. The more friends he loses, the harsher he treats the ones still in his life, from blowing them off to verbally assaulting them to physically assaulting them. The part of him who wants this love to be real and the part of him who's been hurt before can never get along. And it eventually gets to the point where all parts of his head are pushing people away, whether it be out of fear that he'll be be again by getting too close to someone, out of doubt that what they're trying to give him is actually real, or out of disbelief that he deserves kindness at all because he's worthless. And every time his internal safeguards gain control, he puts on this fake grin and nasty personality to shield any true feelings that might endear them to him, any drop of humanity that they might see as something worth pursuing. A last-ditch effort to keep people away, lest they become part of his life and just make things more complicated for him and for them. In the actual series, there are still plenty of moments where Jax's true self peaks out, but as shown in this scenario, if Ragatha were to bite the dust, the last true staple of his original friend group, he would have basically lost all humanity and hidden behind his mask permanently. Not even that, but anyone who would even try to help him wouldn't just get cartoonish sass, [music] they'd get straight-up brutalized. As we see when Pomni asks if he needs help, and Jax just straight-up strangles [music] her. Barely any words, no tinge of regret or sadness, just forcing them to leave in the worst way possible. I also find it interesting that Pomni specifically says she can fix Jax while in this area. I know out of context this sounds like one of those cringey fanfic lines, but I like to think that Pomni didn't actually say this. This is just what Jax hears when someone [music] attempts to help him and his internal defenses kick in. When Jax hears that someone wants to fix him, he sees it in one of two ways. Either that person believes that he isn't working properly and needs to be repaired just to fit their expectations and agenda, or they do genuinely want to help him, but if that's the case, they're just wasting their time, and any interaction with him will just make them into worse people.

[00:09:18]Whether they actually want to help him or not, it'd be better for everyone if they just kept their distance. And if they don't, he'll make sure it happens for them. Honestly, it's really sad that this is the first scenario we're given.

[00:09:30]It's easily the bleakest one and shows that despite all his cruel actions towards her, if Ragatha were one day gone, Jax would be sent over the edge in an extremely scary way and would basically be impossible to help. She means so much to him that her disappearance would wipe all the humanity from his person, which is a really touching yet horrifying prospect.

[00:09:51]What started off as a barrier to keep him from looking vulnerable would essentially just become the person he was from that moment on. And at that point, nobody would want to be around him ever again. The second mask is found behind the second door, where Zooble is the one who abstracts [music] and Gangle is preparing a funeral for them, wearing her unbreakable comedy mask from episode 4. Jax shows up in his maid outfit, claiming to be wearing something expressive of gender fluidity in order to honor her, but basically just treating it like a joke. Then he starts unashamedly hitting on Gangle to the point where she blushes and turns away.

[00:10:24]And he even gives her the key to his room if they want to do something later.

[00:10:30]Ah, we'll try to unpack these two in a minute, but what I want to focus on is maybe Jax here. What started off as a simple one-off visual gag is actually emblematic of another [music] emotional barrier he has. This one being a mask of identity. It's obvious from Jax's backstory as well as other things in the series that he has interests and identity aspects that lean towards being trans. And much like the conditional love from his original life, his initial experiences with coming out about his identity did not go well at all. He was laughed at in the face by his mother and then insulted immediately after. Because she kept trying to mold her son into the husband she missed so much, and yes, that's just as messed up as it sounds, she essentially spit right in Jax's face when he was at his most vulnerable and still trying to figure himself out. So nowadays, if he's ever in a scenario where his masculinity is put at risk, he either explodes in anger or just treats it like it's no big deal. He hates feminine outfits and interests, or he's just doing them ironically. He's either forced into these scenarios or it's all one big joke to him. It's not like he could possibly enjoy these things and is just putting up walls to overcompensate.

[00:11:35]This mask is a lot more easy to grasp than the Ragatha one. He has feminine tendencies. He was traumatized once when he tried to come out, so he pretends that he doesn't care about those things and remains in his literal egg. The only other time he ever came out about his identity was with Ribbon. And even then, he swore her to secrecy and regrets even telling her anything in the first place.

[00:11:54]So, what does this have to do with Zooble's abstraction? Well, call me crazy, but I like to think that Jax's constant berating and insulting of Zooble throughout the series is not born from a place [music] of malice, but from a place of jealousy. Zooble is not only going against their original identity, but changing their current one constantly. [music] In the end, they even decide that not choosing a specific set of parts might be their new norm from that point on.

[00:12:19]And yet, despite not confining themselves to their original identity, they're accepted and adored by everyone.

[00:12:25]They have friends and loved ones and a soon-to-be partner, all without needing to stick with the original label they were given. And Jax deep down wishes he could be like that. He wishes he could just throw on a dress and a bow and some pretty shoes and be seen as someone worth loving. But his initial experiences with coming out were a total disaster that traumatized him, and he's afraid of that ever happening again. So, in this instance, when Zooble abstracts, he essentially tries to take her place, being outward in his gender preferences and even hitting on Zooble's previous partner. It's kind of like a self-insert wish-fulfillment scenario where he takes the place of the person he envies and idolizes. While Ragatha was someone that he loved as a friend, Zooble is someone he wishes he was. Oh, and if you're curious as to whether or not this confirms that Jax has a crush on Gangle, I don't think so. In this scenario, it's easy to see Gangle mostly as an accessory in Jax's little Zooble self-insert fantasy. A general example of what he wishes he could have if he came out and was accepted in the way Zooble was, instead of someone he actually wishes he could be with romantically. And trust me, that prop mentality really comes to a head when we look at the last scenario. The last scenario involves Gangle abstracting, and it's literally just a Looney Tune sketch, with Zooble cursing Jax's name for taking their beloved away from them, and chasing them around as if they were some kind of mustache-twirling supervillain. All ending with Zooble falling off a cliff in typical Wile E.

[00:13:50]Coyote fashion, sign and all. Now, this defense mechanism is the one that we probably talked about the most. The mindset that everyone in Jax's current life are just wacky cartoon characters in a colorful world who fit in the certain archetypes, and nothing actually matters in the end. Essentially stripping these people of their humanity and creating a massive divide between non-fiction and fiction in an attempt to prevent himself from forming connections and being hurt when cold, harsh reality sets in. He literally has an entire speech about this mechanism in episode six, where he convinces Pomni to stop taking things seriously. So, it's not like I'm pulling this out of my rear or anything. This mechanism was likely put in place as a way for Jax to ignore his deep-seated fear of people abandoning him, either through death or just leaving. If nothing matters in his eyes, reality can't hurt him when those he cares about inevitably go. This obviously ties back to his father who essentially left him without any explanation, as well as his mom possibly dying when he pushed her down. Both very real instances where people in his life left, and he feels like it was his fault. So, in order to escape from the reality of what he did, Jax adopted the mindset of nothing mattering, which [music] at the time lessened the pain of what had happened. And when Jax gets sent into this crazy circus of zany shapes and creatures, it gets even easier for him to separate from reality, since they essentially are in a goofy cartoon now, aesthetics and all. Though you can tell that while he is trying to bar himself from reality, he clearly does feel some guilt for every relationship that goes south. I mean, in this scenario, he literally portrays himself as the villain. So, deep down he knows that there is still some real meaning behind what's going on around him, even if he won't admit it. So, yeah, pretty self-explanatory from Jax's perspective, but what does this say about him and Gangle? Well, throughout the series, Gangle has basically been Jax's punching bag, usually the one that gets abused the most by him, and yet also the one he tends to like having around the most. He also questions whether or not Gangle is actually capable of being happy during his talk with Pomni in episode five, as well as claiming, "She likes when I mess with her." when Ragatha [music] tries to refute him.

[00:15:56]There's really no nice way to say this.

[00:15:59]I think Jax sees Gangle as a thing more than a person. He feels this power and satisfaction from being able to control someone's emotions, and the fact that Gangle's two emotions of happy and sad are tied to implements he can easily mess with gives him direct power over how she's feeling. Plus, it kind of feeds into his delusion that they're all just cartoon characters with simple archetypes. [music] If she's wearing the happy mask, she's happy, and if it's broken, she's sad. It doesn't get any more complex than that.

[00:16:26]At least that's what he keeps telling himself. Gangle is essentially an object to him that both supports his flawed mindset and gives him a sense of power over a tentmate that he wouldn't have otherwise. He's even the one that names her, further showing how he appreciates having control in their relationship.

[00:16:41]This is why Gangle is essentially just a set piece in this cartoonish scenario, because just like when they interacted in the circus, Jax merely sees her as a means to an end to keep his narrative flowing. You can also apply this to her being his love interest in the Zooble scenario, too. He doesn't have an actual crush on her, he's just putting himself in Zooble's place, partner and all, and Gangle is merely a prop. Like I said, he does seemingly feel [music] guilt for what he does deep down. I mean, he does specifically put himself as the bad guy in this scenario, so he's probably self-aware that he's screwing up, but similar to a situation like Lapis Lazuli from Steven Universe, even if he knows it's wrong, he kind of can't stop doing it. He continues to control and abuse her because it fits his warped desires and worldview. And it's possible that once she's gone for good, he'll go on to treat every other circus mate the same way, regardless of his original feelings towards them, like he does with Zooble here. It's possible I'm totally wrong about this, but the idea that Jax having Gangle around helps to forward his cartoonish narrative and give him control he wishes he had over everyone, ironically makes their [music] pairing a lot more tragic and interesting. Also, I do want to point out this door that is completely boarded and chained up, making it entirely inaccessible. I like to think this is the scenario where Pomni abstracts. And this one is so unimaginably painful for Jax that just thinking about it would probably drive him over the edge. I think that says more about his feelings on her than any AU scenario ever could. Overall, these three masks essentially shaped Jax's current mindset and dictated the way he treated others while in the circus. A mask to shield his true emotions so people don't see him as vulnerable and try to condition him with what he thinks is fake kindness, a mask to bury his true identity and interests so as to not be mocked and ridiculed by others, and a mask to push reality as far away as possible, allowing any inevitable losses to not [music] impact him emotionally.

[00:18:35]He clearly craves companionship, but due to the tragedies of his past, these emotional walls he put up prevent him from ever finding happiness in a genuine way. The people he loves, the people he needs, and the people he looks up to are all pushed away due to these insecurities, and the real Jax is never given the chance to shine through. But with all that being said, where is the real Jax? Well, when Pomni enters one last door, she happens upon a bar where the three Jax masks are drinking, while a fourth one is playing piano in the background. When Pomni asks to see the real Jax, they all fade away one by one until only the piano-playing Jax is left. This Jax is quiet, timid, shy. And when he tries to bring up his interest in conversations, he immediately backs down. This is by far the closest to the real Jax that Pomni has seen so far, but it's not quite the whole story. When Pomni walks up to him, she notices that he's chained to the piano he's playing, symbolizing that he feels trapped by his [music] masks, unable to let loose and be himself because of all these insecurities he's built up. He hands her a key to this one final door, which leads to Jax's entire backstory and eventually the real Jax, standing by himself under a pink lamp post, crying his eyes out. He begs Pomni to just go away, claiming that he doesn't deserve any kindness. He doesn't deserve to be loved. But Pomni refuses to let up and just keeps hugging him without stopping, eventually leading to him reciprocating and saying to Pomni's face that he hates her, which I imagine is his warped version of I love you. He cries in her arms saying that he doesn't want to go.

[00:20:11]He's so scared. But eventually Pomni is pulled away from the Jax traction, and without the ability to do much else, she tries to make him as comfortable as possible by crafting a little tent of darkness. This is probably my favorite sequence in the entire series, if not the objective best. [music] The way the different aspects of Jax's behavior are presented alongside episode callbacks to paint a full picture of his character is absolutely phenomenal. And for the most part, the meaning behind each sequence isn't spoon-fed to you and is left up to interpretation by the audience. There are moments throughout the series that are completely recontextualized because of what's shown here, like Jax pushing away Pomni's hug and looking down at his hand in episode six, mirroring what occurred with his mother, or Zooble pointing out that they've never seen Jax so upset when he's in the maid outfit, implying that he actually enjoys being girly but is overcompensating to cover it up. And even if you don't buy into any of the philosophical talk I've been doing here, the scene on its own is beautifully designed with unique and eerie uses of backgrounds and creative stylization in all of the AU doors. I split my pants laughing during the Looney Tunes bit with Jackson Zubble, and my girlfriend loved it even more.

[00:21:21]And I'm just going to say it, if Jax's mindscape is my favorite moment in the show, then Jax's backstory sequence is my favorite moment within my favorite moment in the show. I just absolutely adore seeing these characters interact.

[00:21:34]We've been waiting to see fully fleshed out versions of Ribbit and Caine and Kaufmo for a while now, and they are perfect. Ribbit feels like the friend you'd go to a club, get drunk, and dance with. And Kaufmo feels like the guy who'd invite you to his house so you can get high and play video games. It's an amazing trio dynamic, and I would give a pint of blood if it meant seeing just five more minutes of them shooting the breeze. Cap it all off with a beautifully emotional scene in Ribbit's room, followed by a heartbreaking falling out between Jax's old friend group, and it just hits you right in the emotional tenders like a sledgehammer made of lead. It did so much for Jax's character. And while it doesn't fully justify his actions towards others, it sure as heck explains them. With all that being said though, we do need to address the fact that once all is said and done, Jax doesn't change back. He remains abstracted throughout the entire episode, and there's no surefire assertion that he'll be brought back. I could see some people thinking this is strange and anticlimactic. I mean, Jax is finally accepting help. He's finally embracing the love of others. But what's the point if there's no way to save him from abstraction? Is abstraction supposed to represent death or mental trauma? And if it's the latter, does this mean people with trauma are just not savable? What exactly's going on?

[00:22:48]Well, if you saw my old abstraction theory, you'd know that I saw abstraction as someone completely rejecting everything about their reality and just retreating to an isolated and idealized world far from what's actually going on. And that through the correct means, it is possible to communicate with abstracted beings, [music] and maybe in time, even save them.

[00:23:08]Considering Jax let his reality-rejecting masks take control of his mind, [music] and Pomni was able to break through to the real Jax with some mental deep diving, it's totally possible that I was right, and this is the first step on the road to maybe de-abstracting Jax. But just in case I was completely wrong and they can't bring their glitchy buddies back, I do think there is a lesson to be learned here either way. On Pomni's end, we're meant to see her as a role model for what to do when we have a traumatized friend. If they push you away, it's best to keep trying. True love and emotion often doesn't make sense to people who've been put through the mental ringer. So you need to keep embracing them and reassuring them that you'll always be there, and you always care.

[00:23:49]You need to make love and emotional honesty their new norm, even if it takes a while for them to fully accept it.

[00:23:56]Whether or not Jax is able to break free from his amorphous mind prison, Pomni proved to him that in the end, she would go through heck and back for him, and [music] that he is someone worth loving and appreciating, which in the end he finally starts to believe himself. So even if he's stuck in that form, he can rest easy knowing that he is loved. I've known people like Jax. I've dealt with them countless times. These kinds of people need constant reassurance, and it is possible for them to eventually see the light if you keep working at it.

[00:24:26]Yes, it may test your [music] patience, and if it becomes too much to bear, I can't blame you for wanting to take your leave for your own mental health. You deserve to be happy, too. But for those that still hold on to faith that they can help their loved ones out, I'm telling you right now that it is possible if you keep going. And in the end, even if something happens to our friends that is irreversible, at the [music] very least we can say we did all we could to try and break them out of their traumatic walls and help them see that true honest affection exists, [music] and they are allowed to have it.

[00:24:57]On Jax's end, we're meant to read his experiences as a cautionary tale of what to do if you are the one in a trauma-laced situation. I know the idea of accepting people into your life is a very scary prospect if you've been abandoned or hurt or tricked before.

[00:25:12]Heck, it could be borderline mortifying depending on how bad you got it. But if you continue to push others away, especially those that just refuse to give up on you, you're never going to find that happiness that you secretly crave, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself. It may even get to the point where something happens to you that cannot be reversed, and it all could have been prevented if you were willing to open up even just a little.

[00:25:35]Trauma can be a reasonable explanation for your behavior, but things become a problem when you use it as an excuse.

[00:25:42]The Pomnis in your life can only push so hard, but they'll never make any headway if you keep locking them out. If you're in Jax's shoes, at least try to be receptive to the people who want to love you. You can be cautious if you fear getting hurt again, but very least don't outwardly reject them, cuz there might be something special waiting for you on the other end if you do accept them. I definitely would have appreciated it more if abstraction was a little better explained, but I do think there is a lesson to be learned on both sides, no matter what way you slice the lore. As a whole, the entire Jax half of the movie, while a little messy on certain lore aspects, definitely pulls through when it comes to characters. And it's easily the most human thing that I think this show's crew has ever concocted. Even Caine seems to agree with me.

[00:26:28]Oh yeah, did I mention that Caine somehow survived? Yep, after Pomni is rescued from Jax's innards, we find out that Caine apparently wasn't deleted and instead was banished to the void. I'll touch on the lore implications of this later, but what I really want to focus on is Caine's revelation here. He is shown floating in the depths of cyber emptiness, alone with the now faceless bubble. He ponders all the things that the tentmates accused him of. All the ego trips, the lies, the fact that he just never listened to them. And while he initially wrote these things off due to his own insecurities, he finally accepts them as fact and makes strides to remedy [music] his wrongs. Now, I've been going to bat for Caine for a while now, most prominently in my episode 8 review. While I never believed he was inherently in the right, I never claimed he was the conductor of the pure evil train as many fans did. Despite being an AI, he was just as much a victim of trauma as the humans he performed with.

[00:27:23]He was brought into this world with high expectations, was stowed away without question when he didn't perform his task adequately, was immediately replaced without ever being told how to improve, and this whole ordeal left him with multiple issues. The need for reassurance that he's doing a good job, a desire for companionship after being isolated for so long, and even some underlying jealousy towards both the humans and the blue AI for finding happiness and success where [music] he simply can't. Heck, the fact that Bubble essentially becomes a faceless prop when the two of them are in the void does support my old theory that Bubble was just an NPC version of Caine's insecurities. And when he finally shuts those thoughts up in his head and looks at things for what they are, he's able to see the flawed reasoning in his judgment and seek to improve. Cuz in spite of his trauma, Caine is a nice guy who genuinely cares for the circus folk and humans in general. I feel like people who write off Caine as just a villain or just an AI are missing out on some really deep-seated depth here. And I'm glad I was always on Caine's side, even if my wording in defense of him at times maybe went in some wrong [music] directions. Now, do I think what he did to the tent mates was justified?

[00:28:31]Absolutely not. But just like with Jax's situation, what he does is very understandable if you take some time to understand where Caine is coming from.

[00:28:41]Plus, the tent mates weren't exactly paragons of virtue either, as they could have been a little more understanding of Caine's position as well. I always felt like the ideal ending for both parties here would essentially be both of them meeting on common ground and doing the most human thing possible. Proper communication. Have both parties just talk and try to come to some agreement so they can put their efforts towards understanding each other for a better tomorrow. And in the end, that's exactly what ends up happening. Caine finally confronts his insecurities, admitting that stripping away the humanity from his circus guests was completely unfair to them. Yes, they did kill him, but in all fairness, he killed them a long time ago. So, after finally freeing the blue AI from his gaping jaw, he rushes to the tentmates character files in epic fashion with the scene constantly flipping back and forth to show him in his original AI dot form. He forms a bridge using the various shapes he was originally programmed to make and then shatters a glass wall to access [music] the cast's mind files. He enters the MC's names into an online search engine, retrieves information about them, and returns to the circus hoping to make amends by restoring their humanity. This scene is essentially one big visual representation of Caine's character shift. His biggest issue was always his egotistical slapdash approach to problem-solving. Whenever something came up like Zooble's dislike for their body or the tentmates wanting a backstory to their situation, he would never slow down and ask others for guidance. He would just throw together a solution he felt was right and it rarely ever made things better due to things like his ego, his lack of knowledge, and his endless desire to prove himself. And even when he did ask for guidance, he rarely took it to heart and always just assumed that his solutions were [music] the best for the problem. But during this scene, when two major obstacles are placed in front of him, he actually takes his time, tries different solutions, sees what works, and eventually comes out on top. When he builds his little bridge of shapes, some fall down, so he needs to try other ones. When he's met with a glass wall that he can't break on his own, [music] he fashions a tool that is able to shatter it in seconds. That is what he should have been doing in the first place, not just doubling down and assuming what he did was correct, but actually learning and improving from his mistakes. Again, there are reasons for why he behaved like that at first, but he makes it clear to the audience that he's changed his tune and is willing to improve. Plus, it's all done with next to no dialogue, and you know your boy appreciates a visual storytelling. Also, before we get to the grand finale, I do want to appreciate this little scene between Caine and Moon here. It's not only nice to finally see the two of them conversate. I've always found Moon to have a really sweet voice, and I wish they used her more. But Caine specifically points out that Moon keeps saying that she loves him, despite her never being programmed to say that.

[00:31:28]Before Caine even enters the tent with his olive branch, this is his first sign that it is possible for others to love him, even if he has many flaws. And for someone who's been through as much rejection and uncertainty as him, I don't think there could have been a better thing for him to hear when he first came [music] back. And then at the very end, we get the lovely wholesome conclusion. Caine apologizes for his behavior, and the tentmates accept him back, even if it is going to take a little while for them to really warm up to him after what he did. He shows them a slideshow of what their IRL counterparts are up to in the real world, including Pomni having friends, Ragatha being a career woman, [music] Gangle posting art, Kinger being a dad, etc. We even bittersweetly see that the real Jax [music] not only has a home and employment, but hangs out at Zooble's bar regularly where he's able to properly express himself. Or I guess herself would be more appropriate here.

[00:32:19]And it all ends with an adorable montage so when Caine assimilating into the group and taking the time to indulge in all the tentmates interests, making things much happier for himself and the people around him. Some might call this ending a little schmaltzy or corny, but I personally think this is the the way they could have capped things off. Cain is essentially the antithesis to Jackson this episode with both characters taking up one half of the run time but coming to completely different end points. Both were victims of trauma and abuse being treated like trash and penalized for not living up to expectations. Both ultimately wound up in situations where they were left with nothing given time to ponder on their past actions and possibly start a new. And in the end, Jax walked away while Cain walked [music] forward. Jax avoided potential help until the bitter end and even beyond that. And when he finally gave in and embraced those who desperately tried to reach out to him, you could argue that it was already too late. He lost so many connections and may have locked himself into a state that is completely irreversible now closing him off from even those most determined to help him.

[00:33:24]Again, the ambiguity of abstraction makes this point a little fuzzy but essentially Jax had multiple chances for a new life to begin and just never reciprocated. He was traumatized, yes, and you could argue that it was even worse than Cain's. But like our goat Kinger once said, relationships are a two-way street. And if Jax had only taken a hand and held it once in a while, maybe things could have wound up differently for him. Cain on the other hand didn't even wait for people to offer a hand. He just straight up offered his own. He fought through his insecurities, realized his faults, and genuinely came forward with an apology for [music] how he acted. He realized that trauma is a reason for doing something, not an excuse. And if someone truly wants a better life, they need to fight through the pain and move forward, which is what he did. He lowered himself from his god complex both figuratively and literally and humbly took advice from others leading to a much happier existence that he wouldn't have had otherwise. Personally, I think separating the movie into these two contrasting halves is a genius way to structure it. And what many may see as too fluffy and saccharine, I see as warm and optimistic. I like the ultimate message that just because you're traumatized, that doesn't mean you're hopeless. You can find happiness again even if your past is plagued with pain.

[00:34:39]But at the same time, you do need to open yourself up if you ever want to truly be happy. Your loved ones can do all the work in the world, but they can never reach you if you don't let them in. I also feel like both the circus mates and their IRL counterparts support another intended moral. The idea that there is meaning in a stagnant life.

[00:34:58]Neither group is really aiming towards some kind of grand destiny or goal, and are instead just living a simple day-to-day existence. Heck, that goes double for the circus team since they literally can't leave the cyber world.

[00:35:10]So, they're about as stagnant as you can get. And yet, both sides are content in their current positions because they focus on the things that matter most, mainly the people they love. Speaking as someone who currently lives a stagnant life, I can confirm that while it is worth it to shoot for your dreams and try to make your mark in the world, don't let that ultimate goal be your one and only focus. Lest you miss out on the simple day-to-day pleasures and people that make all the time in between [music] worth living. Appreciate who and what you have in the moment, or you'll regret it when your goal is over and done with.

[00:35:43]No matter who you are or where you are in life, everyone needs to take Pomni's advice and just live.

[00:35:50]All right, that's like 10 pages worth of praise. I think I've earned the right to complain a little bit. This finale, while beautifully structured and executed, wasn't perfect. There's a lot they could have done better. First of all, most of the main cast sans Pomni, [music] Jax, and Caine felt like they were kind of sidelined. They at least all got one major standout scene somewhere in the episode. Like Kinger at his talk with Pomni where she learns to manifest, kind of like a mix between their father-daughter chat in Mildenhall Manor and Luke's training scenes from Star Wars. I absolutely adore when these two interact. I really wish they got more episodes together. Ragatha got a chance to vent about her time with Jax Jax, and Ribbed, which was incredibly sad and helps us see that she suffered from Jax's friend's passing just as much as he did. And of course, Best Jester is there to give her the hug of the century and even gets her to admit that Pomni is the best thing that happened to her in the circus. I feel like these two should have spent more time together to make that moment feel even more earned, but for what it's worth, it's incredibly sweet. And trust me, I'll take all the Raggedy Ann screen time I can get.

[00:36:52]Hopefully, her new mom, Gangle, Queen, will invite Pomni and the gang over for some dinner parties. And Zubble and Gangle get this quiet, touching little scene in Gangle's room where the former comforts the latter, and they walk off together. It's short, but it's nice, so I'll take it. And luckily, this won't be the only time the two of them share a room. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? If you saw the movie, you know what I mean.

[00:37:12]But aside from those single moments, that's kind of it. I guess if we added anything else to the episode, it would have felt too bloated and might have ruined the 50/50 structure they were going for. Plus, Pomni and Jax are technically the main characters, as stated by Goose herself. So, I guess if anyone should get attention, it should be them. But still, this was an ensemble [music] cast, and it's kind of a shame that only three out of the seven main characters were significant focuses, especially since we're likely never going to see them again. I also want to pour one out for the lore enthusiast who saw this film cuz holy cow, there was a lot missing here in regards to world building. We never learned exactly how the circus mates made it into the computer in the first place besides Pomni. We have no idea whether abstraction can be reversed or even what it is technically. If Pomni can go into Jax's mind and survive, does that mean she can still see him again? And if so, can she heal him internally? We know very little about C&A, including why they were suddenly shut down. We have no idea what happens when the actual computer itself shuts down. Does this mean all the circus mates just die? Do they freeze in place? Was this happy ending all for naught because this abandoned building is going to run run of power eventually? How did Caine survive a supposed killing? Is the void supposed to be the computer trash bin?

[00:38:25]Is Caine a restored backup? It can't be the latter since he still has all his memories, so what's going on? Honestly, most of these things didn't really bother me to the point that I couldn't enjoy the ending, and the series is meant to focus more on the characters than the world anyway. So, I guess they put the time into the correct [music] thing. But, I know there are tons of people who enjoyed piecing this universe together like an old-school Gravity Falls sleuth, so having things be capped off like this with a lot of unanswered questions can be frustrating depending on what you came for. And of course, as with most animation nowadays, say with me now, the pacing wasn't perfect. The scenes that needed the extra screen time like Caine's contemplation and Jackson Ribbit's heart-to-heart did get it. And for the most part, things flowed pretty well. But, there were definitely some awkward hiccups here and there. Like, I felt Jax just abstracting [music] out of nowhere was pretty abrupt to the point where I literally needed to do a double take at first. And after Pomni and Ragatha scene, there's this weird awkward moment where they stare at each other for like 40 seconds before finally turning away. Most of these are nitpicks, but they were at least noticeable enough for me to mention them. All those things aside though, I do genuinely think that the last act is a fitting, well-structured, well-acted, and well-told finale. And while the series was flawed, it presented a deep introspective look at humanity with fun co-workers and characters that helped put indie animation on the mainstream map. It taught us the value of human connection, the importance of persistence when dealing with those plagued with trauma, the vitality of opening up when you're the one who's plagued by trauma, the strength of forgiveness, the power of love, and a sweet and wholesome reminder that no matter what you've been through, you're never entirely hopeless. Love can eventually prevail as long as the channels of both the helper and the helpie are left open. Even if you've been hurt in the past, you need [music] to be willing to take someone's hand, or it may cease to be an option later on.

[00:40:16]The truest joys in the world are the times we spend loving ourselves and others. And even if our overall [music] lives are stuck in a simple or stagnant place, it's the connections we forge that will make every second we spend living it worthwhile. [music] And we will find fulfillment in the hours we spend giving and receiving love, whether we make some massive impact on the world or not.

[00:40:40]So yeah, those are my thoughts on The Amazing Digital Circus finale. I will admit it is a shame knowing that this is the last we'll probably ever see of our circus pals since the well of future content for this IP has been completely poisoned. And unless some force majeure thrusts us back into the circus, Goose seems to have lost all the fire they had for this series and likely wants to move on to other projects.

[00:41:01]>> [music] >> In the end, the ADC fandom found itself in the exact same position as our brain-scanned buddies in the circus, [music] stuck in poise without any promised momentum for the future. And if that's the way it has to be, we have a choice to make. We could remain eternally mad at Goose and Glitch, roasting them over every creative decision that we had no say in. We could treat this finale as an eternal smoke break from our favorite franchise, kidding ourselves that eventually it will come back as we huff cigarettes stuffed with copium instead of nicotine.

[00:41:30]Or we could do the right thing and just accept it. Appreciate what we were lucky enough to have and see it for what it is instead of what we wanted it to be.

[00:41:40]>> [snorts] >> Hold on to the good memories we formed so they'll never disappear. And honestly, that's what I choose to do.

[00:41:45]I'll always see The Amazing Digital Circus as an imperfect but passionate masterpiece, covered from head to toe in artistic expression and relatability.

[00:41:54]And whether you feel scared to follow your passions, burdened by your trauma, alone in an unforgiving world, or just afraid to admit who you truly are, I hope this series and the more sane minds in the fandom have been able to speak to you and encourage you to push on and never give up. Goose, Glitch, if for any reason you're listening to this, I just want to say thank you for creating this series. I know there's been bumps here and there, but you ultimately made a show that for better or for worse, changed the medium it was a part of. And for what it's worth, whether you continue the franchise or not, you've definitely got one fan who will forever remember those daring, yet delightful, digital days. With all that being said, I really want to hear what you guys think. Did the last act surpass your expectations? Or does it just make you want to pass in general? What were your favorite parts of the Digital Circus series as a whole? This could be anything. Characters, episodes, jokes, moments, performances, anything you want to talk about. I like to think we're all open-minded fans here, so leave your thoughts in the comments below. Don't forget to subscribe, and if you want to see more content on the Digital Circus, I've reviewed and/or reacted to every episode on my main channel, and I'm currently running an event called Digital [music] Circus Month on my streaming channel. So, feel free to join us there as we rank episodes, review fan works, and more. Thanks for tuning in, everybody, and I hope to see you all real soon.