ways it’s impacted, impacts alysha Wood Survivor spreading awareness on my personal survivor story

[00:00:02]Hey family, welcome back to another videos. Alicia Wood survivor here and this is going to be a little bit um about how it deeply impacts me. Alicia would um from being a survivor.

[00:00:25]ways it has deeply impacted me throughout the years with human connections. Um, let me get into a little bit more detail about that. Um, I've distant myself from people uh throughout my whole life. Um, to remember um the only times I would make friends if they came up to me. Um because how severe depression um anxiety I have. It is very hard for me to socialize with people um just from the upbringing I have with them. Um just with the crazy rules I had to um live with um and also beliefs that they try to brainwash me with um has really impacted uh the way I see people um and interact with people.

[00:01:52]It's hard for me to relate to people on a certain level. Um, just because of all the stuff I've had to live through.

[00:02:08]Um also with um raised by her crazy rules with um never being able to our windows. Um, inviting many people over. Um, always being very um about people because of um Mary and Joe.

[00:02:56]Um, when I was growing up, I was not allowed to open windows. Wasn't allowed to interact with other kids uh really um because I was always stuck inside or on my porch um never really being able to leave um has really impacted me.

[00:03:35]being Marian and Joe Gabz.

[00:03:40]Um they were always paranoid about people looking in. So you're I wasn't allowed to open windows, curtains.

[00:03:50]That's why the house has gotten like this. Um, also, um, cuz I wasn't allowed to open windows or curtains. Um, also, uh, with, uh, asking for help. I was always told asking for help is um, wrong. Um, being a burden.

[00:04:19]You ask for weak being weak is um asking for help um which has really impacted my mindset um and I struggle to say with asking for help uh when I do need it um or when I'm struggling or even throughout schooling um I was very um hesitant of asking for help during school and uh with class work. I'll be falling behind either from sleeping too much during class or just not being um able to ask uh too many questions because of my upbringing. Um I felt like it was wrong. Um I was really brainwashed to believe their beliefs. Um which has really impacted me not that they brainwashed me to believe that sexual sorrow is okay.

[00:05:23]But they brainwashed me to believe that asking for help and um being wrong for doing that.

[00:05:48]which has really impacted me um and I struggle with to this day.

[00:05:54]Um another thing that's really impacted me um is my overall development um and um solving skill pro um solving um problems It was very hard for me.

[00:06:29]I know that deeply impacted me.

[00:06:34]Um because I'm married.

[00:06:38]um she used all my money for alcohol and drug addiction.

[00:06:45]Um so I was not receiving any kind of medical or pills or any kind of help for my uh disabilities.

[00:06:54]So that has really impacted and my overall development. Um same with Joe. He was a part of that.

[00:07:07]which has deeply impacted me. Um, another way this has deeply impacted me is not being aware um of my disabilities, feeling like I was always different, not feeling like I was normal growing up because of um that always made to seem like I was the weird one. Um, an outcast cuz I'm not as smart. Um, and I'm not able to learn things and the way I act. Um, I just live my life is very different than the average person.

[00:07:59]Um, because my brain is much younger than what I am actually am.

[00:08:05]um drastically.

[00:08:09]And then on top of that, my scoliosis makes me 10 times older in my muscles and my bones.

[00:08:17]Um which is just peachy for me.

[00:08:21]I love that.

[00:08:24]Um which has really impacted me. Um also another has impacted me. It is always feeling like I was a orphan.

[00:08:39]Um I didn't have a a family. Um my mom and dad um because of Mary Joe always made me feel less than because of that.

[00:08:59]um make me feel like I was a burden uh for them.

[00:09:11]Um that I should be grateful.

[00:09:18]always making me feel like I'm not loved um or wanted my own family just because I don't have parents um and I'm not like the rest. I am disabled. I didn't discode until I was 18.

[00:09:45]But that has really impacted me um like my overall thinking um and the way I perceive myself um and treat myself.

[00:10:01]I know the way this has deeply impacted me. It's very hard for me to um motivated to do anything. Uh, take care of myself.

[00:10:21]Let alone leave my bed. I brush my hair.

[00:10:51]which has deeply impacted me uh because I am severely depressed um severe um anxiety and severe PTSD because of Joe Joy Gabz and Marian Marie Marley.