The Real Reason People Hide Their Toasters & Ireland’s Massive Garden Fine

[00:00:00]My best recommendation would be to don't read the times today, right? Because it's it's it's not good. It's taking all the fun out of life. You know, it's like this whole growing old gracefully malarkey, right? It's like, you know, where are we supposed to be if there's no fun in life?

[00:00:14]>> I think the safest place in the world is in a Protestant's utility room.

[00:00:19]>> Same parents, different timelines, and united by chaos. Strap on. Oh, I mean, strap in for the not so Christian brothers.

[00:00:35]All right, it's a a brand new episode of Not So Christian Brothers. Two brothers geoloccated.

[00:00:42]Uh I'm Colum Hayes. He's Justin Caffrey.

[00:00:45]We are brothers. You have to go back to episode one to find out all that messing with names. Yeah. Yeah. All the way back. Um and there'll be no uh reference to Protestant toasters in this one. Or maybe, you know, >> I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I think we've hit the nerve of a nation.

[00:00:59]>> We we ruffled feathers. Yeah. Protestant loyalist >> with a bit of toast. With a bit and actually, you know, to continue on with the the toast theme, >> just to remind people what it's about.

[00:01:08]Yeah.

[00:01:09]>> So, so the so there's a statistic uh that shows that that Protestants tend to keep their toasters in a cupboard, whereas Catholics have their toasters on display in the kitchen. And I'm married to a Protestant. Yeah. And I'm I'm not I'm not the chief of where kitchen utilities go. And our toaster, I can confirm, is in our utility room.

[00:01:32]>> Ah. Ah.

[00:01:33]>> Now, I think that's technically a cupboard. Right. Well, because because she doesn't want it on the counter.

[00:01:38]There's a little bit of toasty dust all over the place and it's not perfectly laid out. Whereas Protestants tend to be more house proud. Now, there's a lot of people in the world who would look down on Catholics and call us, you know, lazy and and and such horrible things because we're not the kind of Pro Protestant set. And and as a consequence, the belief then is that Protestant households tend to put one's toasters in a cupboard to keep the kitchen clean.

[00:02:03]I'd like to defend the Catholics uh uh particularly from the fantastic um six counties and all the suffering that they've gone through over the years and generally their living conditions being well beneath the Protestant community uh/oyalist community/ unionunist community and they never had um space to actually put a toaster away because any space they had any free space was generally taken up by children.

[00:02:30]>> Sorry, no free space.

[00:02:33]No free space. No, it was always taken up >> not during not during the occupied troubles.

[00:02:37]>> No, there was no free space. It was either taken up by um and this could be controvers to sometimes maybe Protestants actually put their toasters in Catholics houses. Maybe that was maybe there was a controversy attached to all that.

[00:02:48]>> No, any free space >> house was the size of a a cupboard.

[00:02:55]>> And and Catholics any free space was taken up by children or guns.

[00:03:01]That's true. Yes. We forget about the contraband of weapons and the lack of condoms.

[00:03:08]>> Lack of condoms, you know, large Catholic families.

[00:03:10]>> Yeah.

[00:03:12]>> And also the >> So that continues, >> right? The Protestant population in the north would have been of a greater um they would have more finances. They would have more money available to have a utility room. uh while Catholics unfortunately didn't. I think that there lies the truth about the toaster.

[00:03:36]>> But actually going on from toasters and toast. Um today in the English Times, I was reading they interviewed four oncologists, four leading UK oncologists who speaking about to be exposed to cancer, right? So all the usual stuff is there, you know, drink less, eat less, move more, blah blah blah. But one of the key things that one of them says is don't eat burnt toast >> really >> because burnt toast is carcinogenic. Um because of the the chemical reaction of the burning of the carbohydrates in the toaster has been shown to increase one's likelihood of getting cancer. Now, I'm not, you know, stating that as a fact from me. I'm only saying it's what I read in the English Times today from an oncologist.

[00:04:30]>> You're looking like you're in a very fancy uh room there at the moment. Where where might you be at present?

[00:04:35]>> I'm in Malta. There's a good Thank you. Thanks very much.

[00:04:41]>> There's a there's a there's a man here fixing my uh my door because my my key card stops working, but I'm in I'm in Malta.

[00:04:47]>> Okay. Very nice. I'm in a I'm in a very nice hotel um in the center of the island. Um in the process of, you know, finishing the transaction where we're we're moving here. We've we've bought a business. Um but we're also selling up.

[00:05:02]So, we're we're selling our house in Greystones. Uh we're selling our cars.

[00:05:07]Um we're selling really all our ill gotten gains. the new car that I just bought, I'm actually selling because Malta is a car is a country of small cars and um >> kind of selling up and and getting ourselves as agile as possible to get to Malta. So, so really just kind of, you know, taking taking the bare necessities um with us so that we can get down here without having to, you know, big do a big kind of overhaul and a big move because we've moved a lot, right? We've >> we've lived in different countries before. Um, but this is a big move for us now. You know, we're we're older.

[00:05:43]We're in our 50s. So, making a move at this age, um, it's it's it's a good challenge. So, yeah, you know, Luca is going to go to university. The house is being sold, the cars are being sold, bikes are being sold. Like, literally anything that doesn't fit into a suitcase is going, >> right?

[00:06:01]>> Oh, >> okay. Well, Colum, I see that guy internet that you just got in today.

[00:06:06]That new fast fiber that's working very well.

[00:06:11]Uh yeah, it is not working. Uh maybe they're testing it outside. They're doing a little bit. So I'm now on the personal hotspot of the phone.

[00:06:21]Um yeah, >> I love it. I love it.

[00:06:24]>> I know. I know. Go back to the old reliables. I see it's just come back on again, but I'm not going to go into it because it might might um uh are we continuing? Are we jumping in? Are we going back?

[00:06:34]>> We're we're still on it. We're still on it. We've just we've just been Terry on >> on burnt toast um as a carcinogenic. So So an article in the Times from oncologists saying >> avoid burnt toast. And I don't know if you remember this. I know this this predated uh me as well. But um >> um our mother used to always burn toast um whenever she made it. Um, >> yeah.

[00:06:58]>> Well, actually, so I have a memory of of dad and he used to tell this story before um before he died that uh I was I was off school one day and and I think I think um our mom was was was ill or something. So, dad made me breakfast and he gave me toast unburnt. So, just nicely crisp, >> but I insisted that he scrape it into the sink so that it's just like mommy's toast.

[00:07:25]>> Oh, okay. cuz she scraped all the toes.

[00:07:27]Yeah. I remember our sister when she was >> when when Miriam was quite well when I was quite young and Miriam was of an age uh and she used to always go on about don't eat burnt toast. It's carciogenic.

[00:07:39]It's going to kill you. But I mean is there any is is it is it proven medically burnt toast? I've seen doctors eating burnt toast.

[00:07:47]Well, I can only I can only tell you I haven't actually conducted any kind of scientific experiments myself on this or you know detailed um blind uh studies, but this particular onologist in the Sunday Times or in the English Times today was saying that you should avoid it. He also said avoid burning your meat as well. So if you're having barbecues, don't crisp the burgers.

[00:08:11]>> Sorry.

[00:08:14]>> Never burn your meat. I was advised that from a very young age.

[00:08:18]>> I've I've never I've never quite been in the capacity to last the length where there might be a bit of burning. That's it's impressive if you have.

[00:08:25]>> What about a crispy steak? Is that not good? And I'm talking about a crispy steak. Like you know the way like do you know when you put a steak in the barbecue and you see all these guys on TikTok and the flames gather around and they go, "Oh, look at that's just it's getting all crispy and burnt on the top.

[00:08:39]I like that." Are they all going to die?

[00:08:42]>> Yeah. Apparently that's it. Cancer, right? So, so I mean and and then and then you're going to drink some alcohol afterwards. So that's going to give you cancer as well. And you're in the sun while you're having a barbecue. So that's going to give you cancer as well.

[00:08:53]>> So my best recommendation would be to don't read the times today, right?

[00:08:57]Because it's it's it's not good. It's taking all the fun out of life. You know, it's like this whole growing old gracefully malarkey, right? It's like, you know, where are we supposed to be if there's no fun in life?

[00:09:08]>> I think the safest place in the world is in a Protestant's utility room. That's you won't get exposed to anything there.

[00:09:16]Um, >> be clean.

[00:09:17]>> Talking about aging. Talking about aging gracefully. Right. Uh, this week the song Wannabe and I sent this in our little group. Uh, and Justin went, "What? You didn't know what wannabe was?"

[00:09:28]>> No, I had no idea. I wannabe I know is somebody who who who wants to be something. I thought it was I thought it was kind of like the common vernacular you were trying to use to to entice me in.

[00:09:41]I didn't realize that it was that it was, you know, a reference point to um to to popular music from from the '90s.

[00:09:47]>> Tell me tell me what you want. What you really really want. I want to I want to I want to >> sponsor sponsor sponsor.

[00:09:54]>> So the Spice >> Sky, you've just installed his broadband.

[00:09:59]>> Yeah, but they can't sponsor me if it's not working.

[00:10:02]>> Um damn.

[00:10:03]>> I've got three green lights, which is always a good sign. Um the uh Yes. So the wannabe wannabe wannabe is 30 years old. People are going losing their head on online about it. Uh and also this week Eva Huga.

[00:10:18]Um she got married and we remember her from 1994 from the Hello Boys Wonder ad which apparently had been used in court cases because um guys who had crashed their cars used it as a defense saying they they were they were diverted uh to looking at Eva Herzgavven and they had to take it's not that's Bosnia his brother.

[00:10:43]>> Yeah. And they they no longer could put up the full ads on on roadways because it was uh guys were driving into it.

[00:10:54]>> Yeah. I mean, I can I can I can imagine that, you know, I have very very fond memories of that billboard. Um and uh you know, it was great way to wallpaper my bedroom as a 19-year-old.

[00:11:04]>> Oh, you didn't have a WonderBrow ad on your bedroom wall, did you?

[00:11:08]>> I couldn't possibly comment.

[00:11:10]>> Okay. Yeah. My god. Yeah. I can only imagine. Yeah. All right. So that actually then this is funny because there's a a list that I got cuz Oh yeah, here's another one. 50 years ago today, this week, Hotel California was released as a single, The Eagles.

[00:11:26]>> Wow.

[00:11:27]>> Half a century. Like that's scary, you know. And 40 years ago today, Living on a Prayer, Bonjovi.

[00:11:36]>> Oh my god. I would have said like 30 years ago for that.

[00:11:39]>> Yeah. and and like half a century, you know.

[00:11:43]>> Now, in fairness, those those two songs cannot actually really be spoken about in the same sentence.

[00:11:49]>> What two songs?

[00:11:50]>> Living on a prayer on Hotel California.

[00:11:53]>> Why?

[00:11:55]>> Uh Bonjovi is, you know, it's, you know, it's it's it's all right.

[00:12:01]>> Hotel California is, you know, we're into the Van Go era of of of rock.

[00:12:07]>> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, 19 that What do you think about it? That was that was >> Santana the I mean all that stuff was just like >> the Stones >> like unbelievable. Love that era.

[00:12:20]>> Uh okay. Do you want the ways to grow old gracefully? It's great, isn't it?

[00:12:23]That we should all grow old gracefully.

[00:12:25]Now I'm the eldest lemon of the pack here. Terry, you're Are you the youngest?

[00:12:31]>> I It is actually my birthday tomorrow and I am >> Terry. Happy birthday to Terry. And that's all you're giving. Birthday to Terry. How old are you Terry?

[00:12:40]>> I am a sweet 44.

[00:12:43]>> Are you >> 40?

[00:12:44]>> That's mad. With all the years of drugs and and and alcohol, you look about 60.

[00:12:53]>> You're so >> Terry's one of those people that if he had a baseball cap on, he'd get asked for ID. Like, it's very disturbing.

[00:12:59]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:13:00]>> My wife freaks out slightly when I cut my hair short and have a really clean shave. She She's just like, "No, it's a bit weird." No, you do. You you look you look like a well-shaven 60-year-old. And um is your wife >> So when you cut your hair short and you're well shaven, does she feel like, you know, she could be questioned by the police?

[00:13:18]>> She could be. Yeah. Or or maybe I might pass as her little brother or something like that, you know.

[00:13:24]>> Well, which in in fairness, she would still be questioned by the police if she was found, you know, fiddling with you in some way, shape, or form.

[00:13:31]>> Can you get in cheap to the cinema?

[00:13:34]>> No. No. my old age pension. They don't believe me.

[00:13:37]>> No. Cheap. Like a like a student, right?

[00:13:39]>> Like a student. I used to actually have my student card and I used it up till I was about late 20s, early 30s.

[00:13:48]>> And when you go shopping with your when you go shopping with your wife to Tescus, can she park in the mother and baby zone?

[00:13:56]>> Only if I get into the boogie.

[00:13:59]>> The fest. And if she takes you out of the car and you haven't got your shoes on as usual, right? you know, she puts into the boogie with the with the feet off dangling down the end and and you've got quite the whole thing could could save a few quid and get her so much closer to to to the to the shop door.

[00:14:14]>> To the shop door. It's so true. It's so true. You know, and then we'll just let the four-year-old walk beside us.

[00:14:20]>> Yeah. Enough enough slagging of you, Terry. Did you get that t-shirt in the boys department of pennies?

[00:14:26]>> I I can still fit into clothes that I buy in TK Maxx in teenagers zone. When you're going to >> There you go.

[00:14:32]>> TK Maxx. So, anything that's like a a large boy's top or jacket will normally fit me still. Yeah.

[00:14:39]>> That's mad, isn't it?

[00:14:40]>> Pretty crazy.

[00:14:40]>> Well, listen. That's >> Go on. Go on. Go for it.

[00:14:44]>> I was just going to say that that that you still fit into your clothes that you've had for about 40 years.

[00:14:51]You've always been the same shape.

[00:14:52]Roton.

[00:14:53]>> No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. No. Like in the 90s.

[00:14:57]>> Fashion sense whatsoever.

[00:14:58]>> No. Lucy Lucy looks at pictures of me in the ' 90s and she calls me the fly cuz I used to have big glasses and I was very skinny. Oh, no. It's only in the last 15 years that I've developed this uh this charming shape.

[00:15:13]>> Oh, no, no, no, no, no. For 50 years.

[00:15:15]Yeah. I'll give you I'll give you like late 80s. You were slim. Bill Gates look alike. Um >> well, when I was playing almost professional basketball, I was very slim.

[00:15:24]>> Yeah. Whatever. Okay. So, so growing old gracefully, re reliving one's youth uh around uh you know your your your your failed aspirations as a professional basketball player. So, what should we be doing to grow old gracefully?

[00:15:39]>> Well, obviously we should be nice to people. So, you know, this kind of male banter, you know, this is banned now.

[00:15:44]Like, we shouldn't be slagging each other.

[00:15:46]>> We're all supposed to be >> in love with each other and supportive supportive of each other. So Terry, we love you, man.

[00:15:55]>> Terry, was any of that triggering?

[00:15:57]>> No, not at all. While your uh internet was off and your new brand new Sky was turn was broken. H I was talking to Justin about a great film Marty Life is short on Marty Short on Netflix, the documentary >> about Martin Short.

[00:16:11]>> Yes. And it is excellent. But literally just on that bit of banter that you're talking about men, that's literally how they grew lived their life. That's how they made comedy was literally taking the piss out of each other for the whole of their life and they still do it to this day up to their >> Jordan Steve Martin.

[00:16:27]>> Yeah. Yeah. It's absolutely a fantastic documentary if you're looking for something entertaining to watch.

[00:16:32]>> There's a very funny clip from um Saturday Night Live from a couple of years ago where uh Steve Martin and Martin Short and they're chatting and they're going look you know one of us is going to die soon. So, like we don't know what what's going to happen, but we're actually now going to give each other the eulogy cuz you're not going to hear when you're dead. And they give each other their own their eulogy for the other guy, if you know what I mean.

[00:16:52]>> Um, and it's absolutely hilarious. They are very funny. He's he's going out with Meryill Streep now, apparently.

[00:16:58]>> Really?

[00:17:01]>> She was very good friends with his wife before she died.

[00:17:04]>> Yeah.

[00:17:04]>> Oh, I never realized that.

[00:17:06]>> Yeah.

[00:17:07]>> Okay.

[00:17:08]>> Yeah. Apparently they like she must be about six feet taller than him. She's she's a taller lady. Got a bit shorter as she's got older. Um so so you know maybe maybe they maybe they're meeting on on the way down. Um but tell me how how did it grow gracefully? Right.

[00:17:22]>> Say I just want to say isn't it weird and I'll get rid of this. Isn't it weird that his name is Martin Short and he is short. Remember we did names before.

[00:17:27]Like it's just weird you know. Anyway um uh yes it says regular time outdoors which like most people do have regular time outdoors don't they? Yeah, >> I suppose if you if you're growing old and and you've decided to be, you know, a recluse, >> then then maybe that's a tip not to be a recluse, but I'd find that to be a small percentage of people or or become a hermit in in a cave up a mountain.

[00:17:55]>> I'd like to become a recluse. I really would.

[00:17:57]>> Uh you'd love me to become a recluse.

[00:18:00]>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to work in a good for all of us.

[00:18:03]>> Reading good books >> as opposed to reading porn.

[00:18:10]Yeah, just push move away from the porn at 65. You might give yourself a heart attack. Yeah. So, reading good books.

[00:18:18]Um, having a cozy home again as opposed to what? Having a hole of a of a house with no utility room and toasters just on the floor. Uh, at least two holidays a year.

[00:18:31]>> Yeah. I mean, look, I can see the value of that. I haven't had a holiday since uh I haven't I haven't been on holiday since since January 2025.

[00:18:42]So yeah, I I yeah, I think I forget to go on holiday. So I can I can >> Sorry. Were you not in Florida at Christmas?

[00:18:50]>> Oh yeah. Well, we spent Christmas in Florida, but it wasn't like that was already a holiday. Probably off over those five days no matter what. Right.

[00:18:56]But I mean >> that is a holiday. That's a holiday.

[00:18:59]>> Oh yeah, we were we were in Florida. We were in Florida for Christmas. That's not really a holiday >> unless Well, I was with you, right? So that definitely took the holiday.

[00:19:07]>> And previous to that, you were skiing or something. You're always No, I only classify it unless I'm in my PJ, right?

[00:19:13]Uh if it's if it's if I have to travel, you know, a commercial airlines, then I don't I don't I don't really I don't really chalk that one up as a holiday.

[00:19:21]So So yeah, >> he says from his hotel room in Malta.

[00:19:24]>> Yeah, but this is because I have to live here.

[00:19:27]>> In a hotel room.

[00:19:28]>> Yeah, in a hotel room in Malta.

[00:19:30]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:19:31]Well, I have a business here. This is this is not a vacation. I'm I'm very seriously uh here in serious matter.

[00:19:38]>> I I would class a holiday for you, Justin, as something where you don't have to move from one place for about 5 days.

[00:19:47]>> That could be hospital.

[00:19:50]>> Thanks. Um uh yeah, but like as as my wife would tell you, every time I ever have that situation where I don't move for five or six days, I end up doing something while like buying a business or moving a house or I've got I've got no ability to sit still. Like I'm I'm not good >> sitting still lying on a bed, lying on a sun lounger. I a sun lounger. I mean I have a beautiful hotel. I'm looking at a load of people here sitting outside the swim pool.

[00:20:14]>> Yeah. I I couldn't think of a worse thing in my life. Would you not even sit in a lounger for like a half an hour and read a book?

[00:20:21]>> No.

[00:20:22]>> Right. Okay. Wow.

[00:20:24]>> So, how where's your relaxing time tonight? What's your is your do you relax by buying businesses?

[00:20:32]>> Possibly. Yes. Um I mean that's there's a lot of psychological work needed inside that answer. But um I suppose I relax when I go for a run or I'm I'm on I'm walking somewhere nice. But I I I sitting still I mean I I meditate every day. Um and I like I've been meditating for years but I still always find a real struggle.

[00:20:53]Like it's still always a discipline to sit still for 12 13 minutes. Um >> yeah I I don't like I don't like the lack of movement. I like to be moving.

[00:21:02]>> You're an active man. You're just an active man.

[00:21:04]>> And Terry, do you how do you relax by shuffling through the boys uh clothes in TK Maxx? Is it?

[00:21:13]>> And sometimes I put on a man shirt so I feel like I'm wearing my daddy's.

[00:21:20]>> Yeah. Yeah. Uh so that's it. And then seeing you. Have you any grandchildren?

[00:21:24]No. Terry, you clearly don't have any grandchildren. Actually, none of it.

[00:21:27]>> Well, I actually do. My My child has two children or two dolls and apparently I'm their granddad. So >> Oh, right. Okay. Okay. Nice. Well, seeing grandchildren regularly is another thing that they say, but there's no grandchildren in this uh this podcast. God, that'll be something when somebody has a a a grandchild.

[00:21:46]>> Yeah, but you know, will you really make it that far? I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

[00:21:50]>> Of course, they're going to make it that far. Well, no. Well, actually, yeah, it depends. Maybe, you know, it'll be 20, 30 years when they have a a grandchild.

[00:21:57]Well, that be that would be bit bizarre, wouldn't it? Yeah.

[00:21:59]>> Yeah. I think I think I think your son's under pressure, but you know.

[00:22:03]>> Ah, don't say that. Laura watches this.

[00:22:06]Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:07]>> Oh, no. Sorry, Laura.

[00:22:10]>> I'd say I'd say on the wedding on the day of the wedding, she'd be actually looking at him going, "Are you going to eat that dessert?" Like, we can just go now, you know?

[00:22:17]>> Yeah. We're on a clock here.

[00:22:19]>> Yeah. Yeah.

[00:22:20]>> Finish that speech. Finish it. Do your speech.

[00:22:22]>> I'm not on holiday, buddy.

[00:22:24]>> Yeah.

[00:22:25]>> You're on my time now, And I own your ass and your sperm.

[00:22:35]>> Hello, Laura.

[00:22:36]>> Hi, Laura. She's quite a formidable lady as well, so I'm I'm I'm glad I'm in a different country now.

[00:22:41]>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I'm not. Anyway, down the road. That's So, that's how you gracefully is just such a stupid word, isn't it? You know, like growing up, you just grow old. You And you don't even grow, you just get old. Like growing sort of means that something is getting bigger or smaller or you know what I mean or it's growing like >> will you shrink when you get old?

[00:23:06]>> Thanks Terry.

[00:23:07]>> Exactly. Like >> I'll borrow some of your t-shirts.

[00:23:10]>> Anytime buddy anytime.

[00:23:13]>> Yeah.

[00:23:14]>> Don't don't worry Terry is a long way off your t-shirt. Uh, but yeah, I was just like it's just you're just getting you're getting old like you're not growing older. It's growing old gra like disgracefully. I want to grow old. I want to get old disgracefully. I want to do stupid things. You know, I'd love to rob a bank, >> right?

[00:23:40]>> What? Yeah. No, it's just one of those things. I've always thought how >> easy nowadays.

[00:23:46]>> No, no. Well, there are because you have to find a bank first. There are no banks and then none of them >> cameras. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

[00:23:54]>> There's security door locks. It's not like the good old days where you just bust it in with your gun and balaclava, you know, and you're like, I boy, give us all your money.

[00:24:03]>> When is the last time, >> you know, people are just getting their crypto stolen now though, right? So, so influencers are being identified online and then people figure out where they are and and there's there's a load of stories especially got kind of Marbay away and that where where people turn up and stick a gun in your face and say give me give me the codes to your crypto >> really with me. Yeah.

[00:24:24]>> Okay.

[00:24:25]>> And there's no way to recover it because once once it's transferred to another person, >> it's gone. Another reason why >> it's all a bit of a joke, the old crypto stuff, right? But >> once it's gone, it's gone. some terrible some terrible crimes committed around crypto.

[00:24:40]>> Jeez. Well, I just I you can't you don't open a newspaper anymore and you see uh you know bank robbed in wrath mines uh thieves got away with 700,000 black. You just just it's a pity. And not that it's a pity, but it's just it's gone. Like one of the things that we used to look forward to at the end of the week, you know. Uh I think that's unfortunate. Or maybe it's not. Maybe I'm on my own here. Like the episode of where your man gets Father Ted to pull up outside the post office.

[00:25:09]>> Was my money, father. I just didn't want to fill out the forms.

[00:25:18]>> Uh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Growing all day, great sleep. Oh, now, okay, just quick one. Everyone here now needs to say, would you because there's a host pipe ban. So, when this actually goes out, the country will be under a hose pipe bat from 7:00 a.m. And it looks like it's going to run till August 26th, which is ridiculous. Um, which means they give you a couple of days grace.

[00:25:37]So, everybody fills up their paddling pools and their kettles and their bats and everything and every, you know, uh, watering can they have, but would would you report on your neighbor?

[00:25:47]>> No. Well, I I mean I I lived in England for for 15 years and I can tell you people did do this all the time.

[00:25:57]>> Yes, they did. The English word. Yeah.

[00:25:58]Yeah.

[00:25:58]>> So So it's like you know in Germany people report you if you wash your car on a Sunday, right? And and the police come to your house say hello nine nine washing on car on a Sunday.

[00:26:11]Can I >> Are you telling me this Sunday? No.

[00:26:14]>> I You can't wash your car in a Sunday in Germany. No. No.

[00:26:18]>> Why?

[00:26:19]>> No.

[00:26:19]>> Because it's it's it's it's like there's no shops open on Sunday. They're still very traditional about how they how they spend their Sundays. So So you know, you if you start washing your car on Sunday, you were going to get dirty looks from the neighbors and probably the second or third time the police are coming. So >> mad.

[00:26:37]>> Wow.

[00:26:37]>> But but the English and the Germans are very similar in lots of ways, right?

[00:26:40]They don't like to think that they are, but but they are, right? I mean, first of all, they all definitely have a lot of toasters in cupboards, utens, right?

[00:26:48]>> So, a lot of toasters in cupboards. Big similarity there. Straight away.

[00:26:52]>> Straight away.

[00:26:52]>> They both won the World Cup. English not many times as the Germans.

[00:26:55]>> Yeah. And >> yet >> the yet and when it comes to that that hose pipe amps things that used to happen in in the late 90s and early naughties, they used to fly helicopters across houses and they would mark who had green lawns and then Wow.

[00:27:13]>> So how are you supposed to water your >> would come? You're not allowed. You're not they have they have to die.

[00:27:19]>> Yeah. Everything has to die. Your hanging baskets have to die. And if you water your hanging baskets, uh, one of the fines is you'll never be allowed hanging baskets for 15 years. And they'll check in that there's, you know, um, >> there's a picture up on you up on on the wall of all the garden centers and they know, don't sell that man a hanging basket.

[00:27:36]>> Hanging basket, but it's it's a 5,000 fine.

[00:27:40]>> Now, obviously in the Irish population, because of our history, we don't snitch.

[00:27:44]You're not a rat. You do not rat on people in Ireland. Um, >> nor do we pay fines, right? So, so both part of that equation don't work.

[00:27:52]>> Yeah. And none of us are paying a TV license. Um, so >> we have one TV license in the whole of Ireland.

[00:27:58]>> Yeah. Yeah. We share it around. You throw it over the wall when the bloke comes to knock at the door.

[00:28:03]>> Take time that. That'll be no problem at all. Um, h so for the toaster.

[00:28:10]>> Yeah.

[00:28:12]>> Yeah. The same thing. I can receive fair city on me toaster when the both the prongs are down. It's gas, isn't it?

[00:28:19]It's a smart toaster.

[00:28:24]And uh so yes, it's a 5,000 fine if you're found you watering your garden at all or now is a hose pipe ban technically just for a hose. Can I fill up a watering can or can I bring out 20 pints of water in pint glasses? Because it's not a pint glass ban.

[00:28:41]>> No, it's a ban on anything that puts green into your life. We basically want to turn the c the country orange.

[00:28:50]>> Orange. Yeah. Orange.

[00:28:51]>> This is this is actually finally the unionists are going to take over the south.

[00:28:56]>> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it's going to be orange.

[00:28:58]But I have a lot of the orange orange grass of home.

[00:29:02]>> It's going to be very sad, isn't it?

[00:29:04]>> I I have a lot of hanging baskets. I I just I'm I'm really upset. And I wanted to grow old gracefully with loads of hanging baskets. And now they're all going to look like they're all going to die before me.

[00:29:16]Yeah. Can you do >> I don't know.

[00:29:22]>> The reaction is always a little bit different.

[00:29:25]>> The reaction is always a little bit different when we're on Zoom. You know, it's just like, you know, sure he'll be back back to Father Ted right now. I'm further away so I can be more disrespectful than normal.

[00:29:39]>> Yeah. Um anyway, so that's Yeah, >> that's we fix it. All right. hosters, uh, host by bands, growing old gracefully, uh, wannabe, popular music.

[00:29:52]>> Yeah. Uh, can I can I can I finish with one thing very quickly? And we were doing a thing on air about WhatsApp groups and the strange names for WhatsApp groups and, uh, this girl um, >> why don't why don't you why don't you line this one up and then tell us in the after show.

[00:30:09]>> After show.

[00:30:09]>> Okay. So, she she is she was an absolute legend. She has the name of two WhatsApp groups that she came up with and we just thought this woman is is brilliant. Um, so I will give them to you at the top of the after show show on Sunday. This has been and always will be not so Christian brothers. Um, that's my brother Justin Cafrey. Um, Terry is like the adopted son now, isn't he? Like >> manchild. Manchild. The adopted manchild.

[00:30:40]>> That's only because I'm the only one with a with a child. So you're like, "Yeah, we have a grandchild."

[00:30:45]>> No, no, you're the only one wearing children's clothes.

[00:30:49]>> It's true. It's true.

[00:30:52]>> Um, so please like, subscribe, pass it on, send it around, comment on it. We're getting a lot of comments now on our Instagram posts as well. That Ukrainian taxi post got got quite heated, didn't it? one stage comments.

[00:31:05]>> I had to actually remove a couple of the the very unpleasant comments that were really I mean some how somebody can get so upset about uh you know a simple positive story is beyond me. But anyway, >> it was it was so much >> welcome.

[00:31:18]>> Yeah. And also we got a lot of comments on the toasters. Um okay, thank you for watching.