HOW THE NARCISSIST ISOLATES PEOPLE

[00:00:00]How the narcissist isolates people.

[00:00:04]Think about that for a minute. So, isolation, you are learning what that word is. You probably didn't use that word frequently or that often in the past until you figured out what narcissism was. You see, isolation is one of the key components that the narcissist wants to administer to targets.

[00:00:23]Yes, I said targets plural. It wasn't just you.

[00:00:26]The narcissist uses many different techniques, many different strategies, and many different manipulating mindset maneuvers. Little alliteration for you there. And one of them is to isolate people. Now, when you were with the narcissist, let's go back in time when you were first with them, you most likely were experiencing the love bomb stage.

[00:00:45]The love bomb stage was meant to do what?

[00:00:49]You're getting it. It was meant to isolate you. Now, how was that isolating you, you may ask? Sure, I'll tell you right now.

[00:00:56]You were isolated because before you met the narcissist, if you did in fact experience the love bomb stage, you were putting everything that mattered to yourself on hold because you were on the ride of a lifetime that you thought would never end.

[00:01:11]You thought you found your soulmate, the yin to your yang, the person that completed you.

[00:01:15]The the person that had the same hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals as you did. Well, now you know that that was essentially a love bomb. That wasn't an authentic person, anything but. It was a toxic narcissistic person trying to isolate you from your support system by love bombing you. Now, I can assure you you haven't heard that concept or that theory in videos over the years, not only from me, but probably from anybody.

[00:01:41]Because usually people that discuss narcissism, they hone in on one of the four main parts of the cycle, but they don't interweave or intertwine certain words that you didn't even know the meanings of. Example, what is isolation With certain parts of the narcissistic abusive cycle. So, I will drill into that a little bit deeper. When you were being love bombed, you were not doing the things that you used to be doing. You probably were going places or eating at fancy restaurants or traveling or the narcissist was sleeping at your house because they couldn't be You couldn't be sleeping at their house because they were at the old supplies house and they were living rent-free at the old supplies house, but you weren't supposed to figure that out. So, they were spending a lot of time at your house, essentially love bombing you.

[00:02:29]Now, as the narcissist during this example was love bombing you and spending more and more time with you in your house, then you got a little accustomed to them. And as you became accustomed to them, they were getting accustomed to you. They were learning all of your nuances, what time you woke up, what time you went to bed, what your favorite pair of shoes were, how you liked your coffee, if you watched certain TV shows, etc. They learned everything about you. And as they were doing that, you were opening up more and more and more. And as you were opening opening up more and more to this person who was spending more time with you on your dime, then you were not doing what you used to be doing. This is why, let's say again, you're in the love bomb stage with the narcissist.

[00:03:11]Number one, you didn't know what narcissism was. Number two, you weren't taught this in school, so how could you know? But number three, let's go back to the workplace. Say you were working when you were dating the narcissist. When you were at work, were you functioning at a high level? Yeah, possibly in the beginning of the love bomb stage, but eventually, and I was guilty as charged as well, we all are. Eventually, what you do when you're at work is you begin to check your phone way too often than when you were than when you were checking your phone before you met the narcissist. Example, before you met the narcissist, you were a professional. Not that you weren't when you were with them, I'm talking work-wise, but before you met the narcissist, perhaps you checked your phone, I don't know, four or five times a day, six times, 10, whatever it was. But, you knew that you had to earn money because that was your focus, and you weren't being isolated. You meet the narcissist, you're being love bombed, and now you're checking your phone every 15 seconds, and you're trying to figure out why they're not responding back to you when you're texting them all the hearts, the emojis, and asking them questions. Well, it's too late. The fangs have been sunken into, but you didn't know that back then. And what happened? Well, when you were at work, you were still working, but you weren't giving work as much of your energy or attention as you used to because now you were thinking about the narcissist.

[00:04:24]And the narcissist had already successfully isolated you from so many things in using this example, they were isolating you from your your work experience.

[00:04:35]Now, you may say, "Well, no, when I was with the narcissist, I worked on a high level, and I was just as successful, maybe even more successful, as I was before I met them." That's true. I believe you. If you say that, I believe you. But, I can also tell you, when you were with the narcissist, your job took a hit anyway you cut it.

[00:04:50]Maybe you passed on a promotion. Maybe you weren't given a promotion. Maybe you weren't invited to the weekend retreat.

[00:04:56]Maybe you weren't given the corner office or the pay raise that you were promised because things were changing, and the direct boss that you had, that let's say for this example, turned out not to be a toxic narcissist, maybe they said, "No, I can't give them the promotion or pay raise right now because it seems like their priorities are elsewhere."

[00:05:13]If this is making sense to you, you need to drop comments. If this is making sense to you, you need to continue watching the video. If this is making sense to you, you need to understand that I can finish your sentence in a second because I've been through the cycle. I was trapped. I also got out of the cycle, and I was left for dead crumpled up like a sheet of paper thrown away in the freeway. I also was, say it with me, ding ding ding, yes, I was isolated.

[00:05:36]And I was isolated to a very massive scale, which meant, and before I met met the apex predator, I was living a very fruitful life. House was almost paid off, doing other things. Meet the narcissist, everything changes like that. When I say changes, I am not saying that you are doing one thing different than you used to. I'm saying your whole 24 hours in a day has been now blown up and changed. The direction of your 24 hours, it wasn't what it used to be. So, example, pre-narcissist, maybe you woke up at 6:00, maybe hit the gym till 7:00, maybe you you met a tated and journaled till 8:00, then maybe you took a train to the job and you were at the job at 9:00, and you worked from 9:00 till let's say 5:00 or 5:30, then after work you went and maybe you you met some friends for an early evening dinner, and then you went home. Well, all that went out the window when you met the narcissist, cuz the narcissist didn't want you getting healthy, stable communication with anybody. What they wanted was to isolate you so you only listen to them, so they could live in your mind rent-free, so they could steer you, direct you, and control you. And that's what isolation does during the love bomb stage. That was a very, very long illustration of how the love bomb isn't always just what you think it is.

[00:06:53]There's way more to it than that. That's when you were beginning to be love bombed.

[00:06:58]And so, how the narcissist isolates people, that's one example. When you were in the relationship, let's move forward to the second part of the relationship, which is the devaluation stage, and I'm going to pause for a quick second.

[00:07:09]See that right there? Yes, you do. That is what is called the beautiful bright shining light. And there it is, there's the sun right there.

[00:07:21]And that is what you are. That's what I am. That's what the narcissist tried to steal from you. And remember, they failed, and they failed miserably. So, keep shining brighter than that. That is within you. It's always been within you.

[00:07:35]It's within me. The narcissist tried to steal that and extinguish it. That won't happen ever, and I mean ever again.

[00:07:41]Now, going back to the devaluation stage, the second part of the cycle, what happened there? Well, what happened there is you were already isolated. The narcissist already had their fangs sunken into you. Of course, you didn't know what narcissism was, so what happened? Well, now you began to really, really become the unpaid helper, the walking apology, the sounding board, the walking ATM machine, the walking billboard, the cheerleader for the narcissist. You did all of these things and more because what you were trying to do when you were in the devaluation stage, unbeknownst to you, is you were trying to get back to the love bomb stage. Now, did you ever accomplish that successfully for any length of time? No, you didn't.

[00:08:22]For a couple hours, certainly you did.

[00:08:24]For a weekend once in a while, yes.

[00:08:26]Maybe for a lunch or maybe for 20 minutes here and there, of course you did. That's because the narcissist was testing the temperature of you and they had to intermittently reinforce the trauma bond by giving you a little dose of the love bomb or looking at you with their eyelashes or batting their eyelashes or showing their pearly whites or their rosy cheeks and letting you know how much they actually don't care about you, but they're faking it and acting like they do. See, that's the narcissist right there.

[00:08:51]Now, when you're in the devaluation stage, you were already isolated. You didn't know it, but what you did know is you were working harder than ever because now the narcissist wasn't nearly as available as they used to be. Now, they weren't laughing at your jokes.

[00:09:03]Now, they were punishing you. And now, no matter what you did, it wouldn't be enough. And this is the point in time when you were really given the endless to-do lists. Many people in the community recently are asking, "What's an endless to-do list? I've never heard of that." Well, what it is, it's when a toxic person, specifically the narcissist, gives you things to do during any one day. It could be a day, it could be a week, weekend, whatever, but they want they give you a list of things, kind of like a drill sergeant in the military. Yes, sir. That kind of thing. Well, that's what you were given.

[00:09:35]Now, this endless to-do list that you were given while you were existing in the devaluation stage being peppered more and more with abuse, you didn't know what it was, but you uh you didn't know that once you accomplished the the endless to do list that you'd be given another one, and then another one, and another one. See, it would never be enough for the narcissist. No matter what you did, it would never be enough.

[00:09:53]And it won't be enough no matter what anyone does. That's why you need to go no contact and block the narcissist.

[00:09:59]Delete them. Remove them and all flying monkeys and people associated with them.

[00:10:03]But again, when you were completing those endless to do lists and you were not focusing on yourself because you put the narcissist high up on a pedestal to the detriment of yourself, the narcissist was literally mocking you, smirking at you, staring at you, punishing you, doing anything they could because they knew you were on the hook. They knew you were invested in the relationship. They knew you didn't know who they were, and they knew that you were going nowhere.

[00:10:28]And also, they had known at that point, yes, you can say it with me, that they knew they had you isolated.

[00:10:36]All right, now we're getting somewhere.

[00:10:38]Third part of the narcissistic relationship, what is it? Well, you should know it by now. It's the ending.

[00:10:43]Many times people are discarded or abandoned. Now, what is the discard?

[00:10:48]It's when the narcissist crumbles up some person like a sheet of paper, throws away in the freeway, and they don't think that that person will ever unravel themselves, heal, see behind the mask, and realize that the narcissist never cared about them.

[00:11:02]But that's what you've done, and that's what I've done. But when you were discarded, oh by the way, if you weren't discarded, then most likely you you pulled out of the narcissistic relationship. Anyway you cut it, you were in it, and you're out. So, good job for getting out, and I wish you didn't go through it. I certainly wish I didn't, but we did, so we have to face the reality that our life was changed forever by at the hands of the narcissist. Now, having said that, when you were discarded, let's say, what happened? You're getting it. You were isolated again.

[00:11:30]This time, it was a thousand times worse than when you were being love bombed.

[00:11:35]This time it was 10,000 times worse when you were being devalued and this is the reason why. Because when you were discarded the narcissist had already taken everything they possibly could from you, which includes your hopes, your dreams, your aspirations, your goals, your purpose, your health, your time, your 401k if I didn't say that, your favorite music, your favorite food dishes, anything they could take from you, your sleep, your if you ate or if you exercised, all these things and more.

[00:12:09]When they took those things away from you and then discarded you and they did it over time, then they also had the kicker. Now, you should know by now what the kicker is and I will tell you. The kicker is the smear campaign.

[00:12:23]This is when everything comes full circle on the demise or destruction of a target, which was me.

[00:12:31]When the smear campaign is well underway, post narcissistic relationship, specifically in reference to when the discard takes place, a person has no idea what has just taken place. They don't know what just happened. They don't know what transpired transpired. They don't know about narcissism. They don't know about a smear campaign and they don't know that another person doesn't love them or care about them.

[00:12:56]So, when that person is discarded, their whole world collapses like that.

[00:13:02]And I'll do it again.

[00:13:04]Just like that. It collapses. It falls apart. And this is meant to do the most damage that one human being could ever experience or tolerate in one life.

[00:13:15]I experienced it way more than that and I almost did not make it January 6th, 2021.

[00:13:21]I made it. I'm here.

[00:13:23]And again, that's me. That is you. That is a beautiful and I mean absolutely gorgeous, s- sun. It's the beautiful, bright, shining light that is within you. You need to embrace that.

[00:13:37]But, when the discard took place or happened, you were already isolated. And so, now your support system disappeared.

[00:13:44]They vanished. Many of those people were drinking the Kool-Aid the narcissist was pouring, and what that means is they were listening to the smear campaign, all the lies that the narcissist told people about you, etc. So, when you were looking for a a person to just pick up the phone and be there for you, this is post relationship after the discard.

[00:14:04]Many people were not there.

[00:14:06]Now, the reasons why many people weren't there, there are many reasons why, but one reason would be because those people were part of the smear campaign. Another reason would be cuz they have their own lives going on, they didn't want to get involved. Another reason is because they were too close to the narcissist, and they didn't want to be the next target.

[00:14:22]There are a few more reasons why, but that's not what I'm going to focus on for the rest of this video. What I'm sharing is nobody was there when you were discarded. And that's why you were isolated again. So, notice, during the love bomb you were isolated from all the beauty and all the enjoyment and the pleasure and all the positive experiences you were having before you met the narcissist. When you were caught up in the cycle, the devaluation stage, you were completely isolated, just didn't know it. And you kept on making excuses for the narcissist, i.e., the abuser.

[00:14:51]The discard takes place, the ending of the relationship. Again, you were discarded. This time, you were abandoned as well. Sorry, this time you were isolated as well, but this time you were discarded or abandoned. What happened here? This is the culmination. It's all the body of in the work that the narcissist placed into destroying your life. And they did not think that you would ever make it. I've said that for years in videos.

[00:15:12]You know now how important it is for you to go no contact and block this person. If you haven't done it, you need to ask yourself, what are you waiting for? If you have done it, you know it's benefited you immensely and you know that you've gotten stronger and you've either healed or you are healing. But, this is how the narcissist isolates people. You see, most people on the planet who haven't been through the narcissist abusive cycle, they won't know what hit them until it's too late.

[00:15:40]Now, that's what happened with me and I can assure you that's what happened with you.

[00:15:44]The difference is now, between now and let's say when I was trapped in the cycle years ago, years ago, the word wasn't out. Not as many people knew about narcissism.

[00:15:54]Many people did the the best the Many people did the best that they could to repress the word narcissism or toxicity.

[00:16:01]They didn't want the toothpaste to get out of the tube. They didn't want the word to become as popular or as used as it's become. Well, guess what happened? That's years ago, but now, in this present day and age where we are, so many more people have heard the word.

[00:16:16]It's being used in TV shows and sitcoms.

[00:16:19]It's all over social media, etc. Sure it's being told massively overused.

[00:16:24]But, you can tell if you watch certain people, you can tell if they've been in the cycle or not just by the way they use the words, just by the way they pause or they don't, or just by the way that they handle certain behaviors, if they can handle pressure or if they can't, which is a whole different video. The narcissist can't handle pressure. That's the last thing they can do. They can create pressure and they can create drama and disruption and chaos and confusion, but they can't handle it.

[00:16:49]They don't All they know how to do is start the fires, the the fan the flames of toxicity, but to actually do the right thing and be there and and help people out, they can't do that. So, that's a whole different video. The narcissist cannot handle pressure. They can't. They fall apart, always, every single time. That's why they need people around them to direct them and steer them and smash some common sense into their tiny little pea brain.

[00:17:14]So, before I close the video, I'll just share this with you.

[00:17:17]Then, this is how the narcissist isolates people. The narcissist isolates people at work, they isolate people at at schools, they isolate people on buses, they isolate people at coffee shops, in romantic relationships, in family in family settings.

[00:17:33]And when you have roommates or flatmates, they isolate people any way they can.

[00:17:38]And the reason why they want to isolate people is because they they want to divide and conquer, and also they want to target certain people. Because if they can get the spotlight off of them onto somebody else by isolating that person, then that person becomes public enemy number one. It's not the narcissist, it becomes somebody else.

[00:17:57]And I hope that's making sense to you.

[00:17:59]So, what I'm sharing with you as this beautiful sun is getting ready to set here, what I'm sharing with you is when the narcissist isolates people, it's because now it puts a lot of pressure on said person. And that person doesn't know how to get out of being isolated. They have no idea until they do, which is why I create videos every day. But the narcissist knows how to isolate people.

[00:18:19]They also know that anyone who gets isolated won't know how to handle it because they don't know what to do cuz they don't know narcissism exists, and they had never been isolated before.

[00:18:29]Pause. When you've been isolated, yeah, this guy right here.

[00:18:33]Many times for multiple years. And now you know what you know, meaning you you now have the wisdom on the narcissist abusive cycle, you can see it in a split second. This is why it's imperative you cut all the ties with the narcissist.

[00:18:48]You need to cut the ties, the four ties, the emotional, the financial, the physical, and spiritual tie. If you've cut them, you've done a fantastic job.

[00:18:55]If you haven't, continue to work on doing that because when you cut those ties, I can assure you you will see things much clearer than you're seeing them right now. And if you've cut the ties, you know what I'm talking about.

[00:19:06]So everyone, that's the video. I hope you liked it. I loved doing it from the beautiful Carolinas.

[00:19:12]This is Andrew. Namaste.

[00:19:14]Have a great afternoon, evening, or morning, no matter where you are on the planet. You are not alone. I love you all, and I'll talk with you tomorrow.

[00:19:21]And how the narcissist isolates people.

[00:19:23]It starts with a target cuz they wasn't just They didn't just randomly pick you and say, "Oh, okay. I think I'll isolate that person." No.

[00:19:31]They vetted you, and they vetted multiple people when they were looking to target you.

[00:19:35]That's how they do this.

[00:19:37]They also uh targeted you, and they They looked at you, and then once they knew that you didn't know what was going on, then they just had all the flying monkeys, the enablers, and everyone else who was listening to them pile on, so you would not get support. The less support you had, the more uncomfortable you felt.

[00:19:53]The more uncomfortable you felt, the more the isolation was working. The more the isolation was working, the more the narcissist was winning.

[00:19:59]Eventually, what happens? You know it by now. The narcissist ultimately loses. Yes, they do.

[00:20:06]They lose every single day. They always have. They just won't tell you that.

[00:20:10]But having said that, the games are up. People now know who the narcissist is. They know what they're capable of, and more and more people each and every day are going no contact and blocking toxicity all over the planet. And many of these people are people who haven't even been trapped in a cycle. They just They've heard my story or your story or other stories. They're saying, "Wait.

[00:20:30]I want nothing to do with that. I'm not going to take a chance. I'm just going to politely block them or remove them or not participate whatever they're doing, but I want nothing to do with said person." And that's what's happening all over the planet. That's why you need to understand one thing. You are the beautiful bright shining light.

[00:20:47]You are stronger than you know, and you are an amazing human being.

[00:20:51]Sending a big virtual heart and virtual hug to you from me. I love you all, and I'll talk with you tomorrow. Bye, everybody. Bye.