THE ODYSSEY: WTF is it?

[00:00:00]So, what do we know about the Odyssey?

[00:00:02]Basically, Indiana Jones ran because this [ __ ] walked. There's danger, there's quests, there's love, there's bravery, there's challenges and courage and sex and death or giggiga or giggiga or giggiga. So, Odysseus, after 19 years, finally back on the sea towards Ithaca, but is almost instantly put through the ringer by Poseidon who created an extremely tumultuous storm which saw Odysseus capsize his boat and sink beneath the water. Only saved when yet another woman comes to rescue him.

[00:00:36]It's got it all here, but smutty sex scene set to G Flip's "Hyperreal", but you know, I guess we can't have it all.

[00:00:56]Hi guys, welcome back to Hot History, your corner of the internet where we cover all the things in history that you probably should know, but don't. I'm Ainsley Harvey, your hot historian here, ready to chat about possibly the hottest topic in the world right now, guys, the Odyssey. Okay? It is in theaters today, and I am so excited to chat about it with all of you. This will be like a spoiler-free episode for the film. Well, I mean, as spoiler-free as a film about a book written like thousands of years ago can be, obviously. But, the point of today's episode is really to arm you guys with the information you need to understand what the different characters are, who plays them, the various kind of plot lines and dynamics, and the key messages from each of the events throughout the epic poem. But, if I'm feeling inspired, I might drop my thoughts and responses to seeing the film for you guys next week. But, truthfully, as of this recording, I have not seen the film, but by the time it does come out, I will have. So, um yeah, I'm just super keen. All of these last kind of 2 weeks have really led up to to this big episode. Which does remind me, I had to tell you guys this bit of admin and news.

[00:02:11]I have officially launched my Substack.

[00:02:13]It is the new home for Hot History, and I wanted to invite you all over to there. I will definitely put the link in the show notes. Otherwise, just go and search up Hot History. Um but, the format will be a free newsletter for you all every single Monday covering what happened this week in history. So, you know, if you've got a strategy call or you know, a meeting or a a Pilates class that week, for example, you can do both of those things armed with the knowledge that Marilyn Monroe got her big break on that same day, or you know, Napoleon stole some mummies, or whatever it is.

[00:02:48]Um but, then there will also be additional um subscriber-only posts.

[00:02:52]There'll be much bigger think pieces for you guys. The first of which is currently live, and I have made free, which looks at why we should give Helen of Troy a [ __ ] break. And the first paywalled piece as well, looking at why the internet is so mad at Lupita Nyong'o's casting as Helen of Troy.

[00:03:08]So, if you would like to support us there, then you can definitely um go and do that. You can get access to those paid articles as well. It's $9.99 AUD per month. Um and you know, you can also join for a yearly discount. So, I would also just want to take this kind of moment. Lots of crazy things have been happening, and I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your support listening along to the show. You know, whether you comment, or you follow on social, or subscribe on YouTube, whatever it is, I am just truly truly grateful to each and every single one of you. And, you know, really appreciate every single way that you help Hot History grow, because this is really truly becoming like a full-time job now, which is crazy. So, little kind of admin done, we are going to get straight into it by rewinding all the way back to the 8th century BCE. So, um at the time of Homer, not the end of the Trojan War where we left off last week.

[00:04:00]So, even though we did speak briefly about Homer last week, I really want to go into a bit more detail here and give you an idea of who this person is.

[00:04:10]But, the truth here is that to be honest, we don't really know, guys.

[00:04:14]Despite his huge significance to Western civilization, there's very little factual information about the man himself, including basic information like his actual gender and identity.

[00:04:27]In fact, Samuel Butler, a late 19th century novelist, believed Homer could actually be a young Sicilian girl, while others believe Homer might actually have been a group of poets who combined their works under the one alias. So, basically, the equivalent of, you know, someone kind of discovering a Coldplay album and believing that Coldplay was a man rather than a band.

[00:04:49]Taking it a step further, academic Julie Williams even posits that the name Homer might just be a generic term meaning someone who puts a song together, i.e. a poet. So, lots of um mystery and intrigue and kind of mystique here around who this kind of person or people is. But, based on the best guesses that we do have, we believe Homer, whoever him, he, she may be, lived in the 8th century BCE in either the Aegean island of Chios or the ancient Greek town of Smyrna, where he wrote two epic poems. The first, the Iliad, again, we spoke about that last week, and the second, the Odyssey. Both of which are written in Ionic and Aeolic Greek, which confirms the East Greek origin hypothesis for this person or peoples.

[00:05:36]So, we're going to go ahead with that as the base camp of Homeric writings.

[00:05:41]So, what else do we know?

[00:05:43]Well, as we said last week, the Trojan War and the later events of the Odyssey, which we'll get to in a minute, occur around 1250 BCE, which means Homer is writing about them around 400 years later. And in doing so, includes many elements of his own time. Even, you know, just for example here, the Achilles shield section, if you remember from last week we spoke about quite in depth. Um, which depicts things like law courts and agriculture.

[00:06:09]They didn't really exist until the 8th century, you know, kind of model. So, it's it's much more befitting to Homer's own time than a 12th century monarchy.

[00:06:18]We also know, or too bad we don't really know, but many theories have been posited that Homer was actually visually impaired. With the word homeros meaning blind, and the fact there is a very talented blind poet named Demodocus in the Odyssey, which is thought to be a self-reflection and he's actually being played by Travis Scott in Nolan's film.

[00:06:37]Um, this is also basically like Jane Austen naming her fairest and most beautiful character in Pride and Prejudice Jane. After herself, queen.

[00:06:47]You know, this is like if this is what Homer did, king [ __ ] Now, again, all of this is of course largely based on myth and really impossible to authenticate given Homer's poems evolved orally before the development of writing and the alphabet in Greece around the 8th century BCE, which means, according to academic Julie Williams, these works and the elusive Homer who created them are credited as the beginning of Western literature. So, these aren't just stories that we're talking about here, guys. These works are the origins of all stories. And if Homer was a singular individual as many think he was these days, that makes him a bigger bestseller than Sarah J. Maas and Rebecca Yarros combined.

[00:07:30]And we know how much the divas love the fairy dragon smut, okay? So, a big deal.

[00:07:36]Now, that's pretty much, like I said, everything we do know about Homer, which, again, basically nothing.

[00:07:42]So, what do we know about the Odyssey then, right? The text itself. Well, first thing to note is that the Odyssey follows the journey of Odysseus from the end of the Trojan War in his pursuit to return to his home island of Ithaca. A trip which should have taken a few weeks, but instead took yet another decade. So, Odysseus at this point, you know, he's done 10 years in Troy in the war like we spoke about last week, and another 10 just trying to get back home.

[00:08:09]During which time he's like hunted down by Poseidon, he's captured by a nymph, he's, you know, friends are kind of eaten by by um you know, these big strong monster things, there's Cyclopses, like there's sirens, it's crazy, right? And if you ever think for a moment that you're like annoyed by delays in flights or whatever, you can just think about Odysseus here, and it really makes the Odyssey as a text the first kind of like action adventure epic in a way.

[00:08:40]So, basically, Indiana Jones ran because this [ __ ] walked. So, where we have the Iliad, which looks at the rage of Achilles in the Trojan War, again, we spoke about last week, the Odyssey looks at the idea of a quest, if you will, right? Which is something that has entertained people for thousands and thousands of years.

[00:08:59]In fact, a lot of our vernacular is actually credited to the Odyssey, with history writer George Wakeman noting that the phrase between a rock and a hard place actually originates from this text, which many other historians also credit for introducing techniques and styles of narration with all the tropes we love today, guys. You're really going to enjoy this episode, honestly. There's danger, like I said, there's quest, there's love, there's bravery, there's challenges and courage and sex and death and like it has flashbacks, it has parallel plots, it has drama, honestly, it's got it all here, but Smashing Sex Scene set to G Flip's Bed on Fire, but but, I guess we can't have it all.

[00:09:38]As for its origins, well, it too is dated to the 8th century BCE like the Iliad which we already spoke about, with 13 original verses of the 24-book-long epic found chiseled into a clay tablet.

[00:09:49]So, some proper like ancient sources to go off here, but no original papyrus from Homer's hand if, you know, he or she was one person.

[00:09:58]As for the language, well, it was originally written in Homeric Greek, something that hasn't been spoken for more than 2,000 years. But lucky for us, it's since been translated into hundreds of languages across the world over the centuries, including English. So, that's the version we're going to talk about today.

[00:10:16]So, let's dive into the story, guys, and link back up with the famed king of Ithaca, this time around 1250 BCE, right? So, at the end of the Trojan War, which, you know, Hector, Achilles, Priam, Paris, Ajax the Great, all those big guys we spoke about last week, dead.

[00:10:34]Yeah, plus many more, of course.

[00:10:36]Meanwhile, Odysseus and the remaining Achaean forces have successfully breached the city in the Trojan Horse.

[00:10:42]They've also killed lots of people.

[00:10:44]They've found Helen. They've spared her life. And now, they're kind of scratching their heads.

[00:10:50]I mean, let us not forget here, divas.

[00:10:52]They've been warring about for 10 years, dreaming of home, and now finally, this war is done.

[00:10:59]Right? It's over. It's finished. So, they're kind of stunned. And I think in many ways, shocked, of course, at the sheer level of loss and destruction done both by them and to them.

[00:11:12]And Odysseus and his men, you know, they kind of are like, all right, well, let's just pack up and go. So, they set sail on 12 ships where they encounter the city of Ismarus, who just so happen to be allies of Troy on the way home.

[00:11:25]So, with the reality of the time and comrades they've lost setting in, the men decide to do something absolutely stupid and stop off at this city in modern northeast Greece to basically plunder and kill for sport.

[00:11:40]Yeah, apparently 10 years of that isn't enough. You've got to, you know, do one last raid before the road.

[00:11:45]But Odysseus, sensing something terrible was on the horizon, commanded his men to retreat, but they refused to listen. So like they literally just stopped off at this island and been like, "Fuck these guys, let's go kill them."

[00:11:57]Drawn in by the gold, the wine, and the women, the crew stay for a big rambunctious feast on the beach, drinking the city's wine and eating their cattle. All the while their inhabitants launched a counterattack with Homer saying they quote came in the morning as thick as leaves or flowers, hitting the Greeks hard, leading Odysseus and his crew to flee, abandoning all their plundered goods, as well as at least six men from each of the ships.

[00:12:24]So this is the first trial, right? And commonly talked about as a lesson in hubris and the retribution that comes from unnecessary fighting. After all, like I said guys, these [ __ ] have had 10 years of war.

[00:12:37]They just, you know, really did did this for the love of the game. Something that Zeus, yeah, of course of course that guy pops his head back up again like I'm so [snorts] sick and tired of Zeus.

[00:12:47]I'm not talking about Zeus for episodes after this.

[00:12:50]But he doesn't really appreciate this.

[00:12:52]He's like, "You guys have already been fighting, can you just not?" So he sends a storm after the Greeks, which disorientate their ships, driving them fully off course, and forcing them to row to land for shelter.

[00:13:04]Scenes which I believe we see here in the trailer, which FYI guys, if you're listening on Spotify, you can actually play the video for this. Um, so please, you know, go and do that. There will be lots of visuals throughout this, including kind of what we can expect to see from Nolan. So that's the wrath of Zeus here for the raid on Ismarus, which left Odysseus and his crew forced to dock and regroup on a mysterious, unknown island. Speaking of which, we should actually probably cover at this point in time. Yeah, okay. Put a pin in the story. We're going to cover the key kind of people on this crew as part of the wider story. So, we already know we have Odysseus, played by Matt Damon. We have his wife Penelope, played by Anne Hathaway, who's reigning as queen back in Ithaca, where her son Telemachus, played by Tom Holland, is currently facing off with a series of different suitors who are trying to marry Penelope as they believe Odysseus is dead. Right?

[00:13:55]Which, to be fair, he has been gone for like 10 or 11 years at this point. So, they're thinking, "If I can marry Penelope, I can become king." The most vile of whom is a weasel named Antinous, played by Mr. Robert Pattinson. Yeah.

[00:14:12]Now, he is always conspiring in Odysseus's court, including sleeping with one of Penelope's servants, Melantho, played by Mia Goth. All of which is sniffed out by Odysseus's childhood friend Eumaeus, played by John Leguizamo? Leguizamo? I don't know how you say it. You know the guy I'm talking about. So, that's the Ithaca contingent, one timeline. But, what about Odysseus?

[00:14:33]Well, for the traveling bunch, we have Hamish Patel as Eurylochus, Odysseus's brother-in-law and second in command.

[00:14:40]Pylades, Odysseus's most optimistic and loyal friend, who we're not sure of his casting, but he's kind of the peacemaker on this voyage. Elpenor, the youngest man in the crew, who again, not sure of casting. And Perimedes and Eurylochus, again, not sure on casting, but they are mentioned in Homer's text, so I'm sure Nolan will include them.

[00:15:00]Then, of course, we have the other timeline, right? Which is who we're going to see at the beginning, the Achaean counterpart. So, we have John Bernthal as Menelaus, Lupita Nyong'o as his wife Helen of Troy, and also as her sister Clytemnestra, who is the wife of Agamemnon, played by Benny Safdie, seen here in the Batman helmet.

[00:15:22]We also have Elliot Page as Sinon, the Greek soldier who tricks the Trojans into accepting the horse and TBD guys on Achilles, um, Paris, Priam, all those guys. I'm not sure, kind of, you know, who who they're going to be or if they're going to be included. But for now, let's get back to Odysseus and his crew on this kind of spooky new island.

[00:15:43]So, now ashore, Odysseus asks his men to go and suss out who lived here, which is when we meet the Lotus-Eaters.

[00:15:51]Now, if you're a Percy Jackson fan, you'll instantly recognize these guys from this iconic scene here.

[00:15:59]>> That sounds like an amazing idea.

[00:16:03]But we're on a time-sensitive mission right now.

[00:16:10]Aren't we?

[00:16:10]>> [music] >> I can't remember.

[00:16:12]I totally forgot what I was going to say.

[00:16:15]>> But for those of you not familiar with the sacred Logan Lerman texts, then basically the gang, they get trapped in the Lotus Hotel in Vegas, where this lotus gas kind of erases their memories and sense of time, like they're eating it through these, like, little treat things. Which in Odysseus's case meant that he and his men forgot about returning home when consuming the lotus flowers, resulting in those who ate the fruit having to be dragged back to their ships and chained to rowing benches. So, basically, like, the crack cocaine of ancient Greece, okay? Which Homer uses to make comment on human weakness and the dangers of indulgence. So, lots of lessons throughout the Odyssey, which we're going to dig into.

[00:16:56]But finally, you know, the spell has kind of worn off and the men are all rowing again, but they're still lost, right? Zeus is still mad at them. They can't navigate. Which brings them to yet another uninhabited stretch of land with a hungry and tiresome crew decide to take refuge from the elements and a break from the sea. Because, actually, during the scene, some of them are super seasick.

[00:17:18]And they find a nearby cave where they come across all kinds of like it's basically a banquet, yeah? There's fresh food, there's bottles of wine, there's homemade cheeses, all the other kind of essentials for a good um you know, kind of picnic board which these guys are absolutely hanging for. And as such, go to kind of fill their boots with all of this, but Odysseus stops them, right?

[00:17:41]Suggesting that the owner of the cave, clearly a civilized being, it's best to kind of him, you know, perhaps he'll even give us a home cooked meal and some warm beds. You know, this kind of idea of xenia hospitality which we're talking about last week, you know? After all, it's probably better to ask permission rather than just raid someone's stock cupboard.

[00:18:01]But this particular tenant had no desire to uphold any kind of xenia. For this cave belonged to Polyphemus, the son of one Poseidon, who had one eye. That's right, divas. We're talking about Cyclopses. Nothing makes me so excited than Cyclopses. You see them here in the trailer.

[00:18:22]Now not much is known about the Cyclopses in the Odyssey, but we do know they are considered to be a race of single-eyed giants who again are known for their lack of xenia and generally tend to kind of cattle and um you know, different kind of species of animals as their job, if you will.

[00:18:39]There is, for obvious reasons here, guys, no evidence of said creatures being real, but historians do believe that the tales of the Cyclopses first began as mythology around the Mediterranean after travelers, pre-Homer, found the skulls of elephants with the hole for where the trunk would be, kind of being seen as, you know, this one eye. So you find this big skull with this kind of a hole in the middle of it and go, "Yep, of course that's what it is." But alas, I digress. Back to the story.

[00:19:07]So, Polyphemus, right? Which to be fair here, I think he is kind of justified, is pissed off that these kind of random Greeks are in his cave, and instead of inviting them to dinner, he grabs two of them in his fists and just eats them.

[00:19:22]Yeah, straight down the hatch, no hesitation, no seasoning, nummy, nummy, nummy. Now, were this a normal Cyclops and a normal day, Odysseus probably would have just killed him, right? But he isn't. And there was an even bigger problem here, guys. Because Polyphemus, kind of sensing that there was intruders in his cave, has blocked the exit with a giant rock. So, Odysseus and the crew have to play nice here. Sacrificing two more of his men for breakfast before offering the Cyclops some special wine, which they'd taken from Ismarus. But, this was no ordinary bottle of [ __ ] diesel, guys. This was pure alcohol extract, which was meant to be diluted over time, but Polyphemus is like, "Fuck yeah, I'd love it. I'd love a tipple."

[00:20:09]And he chugs it all and instantly falls asleep while Odysseus and his men sharpen an olive wood stake and heat its tip, you know, kind of in the fire and then stab Polyphemus right in the eye, blinding him. In pain, but needing to let his sheep out to pasture the next morning, Polyphemus opened the cave and placed his hand along the backs of the sheep, so he's kind of feeling down to ensure no men were riding them while the kind of sheep go out, which, you know, of course they weren't. Let's be real, Odysseus is a smart guy. So, instead, he has his men cling to the sheep from below, so like the underside, which means that Polyphemus can't feel them, and you know, they're able to kind of get back to the ship and haul off the shore, working fast to kind of pull out into the Aegean.

[00:20:54]But not before Odysseus, with all his pride and anger, yells back at Polyphemus, saying, "Cyclops, if any mortal asks who put out your eye, tell him it was Odysseus, sacker of cities, who lives in Ithaca.

[00:21:08]Right, so he's like [ __ ] you, like you should know, which just makes Polyphemus even more angry. He starts hurling all these boulders into the sea, but he doesn't hit any of the ships. So, he's blinded, he's robbed of a meal, and he's now insulted and calls out to his dad, right? Poseidon, god of the sea, saying, "Grant that Odysseus never reaches home, but if it is his fate to return, let him come late in misery having lost all his companions in a stranger's ship."

[00:21:38]Which is basically exactly what happens.

[00:21:40]So, who really won the Odyssey?

[00:21:42]Polyphemus, right? Which Homer uses to teach us the valuable lesson of hospitality, hubris, and humility.

[00:21:49]Basically just making comment on the fact that if you do someone dirty, you shouldn't then dox yourself. So now, guys, Odysseus and his men have a [ __ ] curse on them by the sea god, which is when they land on yet another island, this time the home of Aeolus, a mortal man trusted by the gods to keep the winds. This is one of my favorite kind of stories.

[00:22:10]Described by Homer as surrounded by a wall of unbreakable bronze, Aeolus's island is the perfect place for a pit stop. And he's actually a really nice guy, okay? He welcomes the crew inside and he's, you know, listening to their tales and tribulations of their journey so far before then sending them off with a bit of an interesting present.

[00:22:28]A bag of wind, like the actual force of wind, not just, you know, a nice breeze here, but a bag of harmful stormy gusts, which he hoped would give the crew a pleasant and favorable journey by basically removing it from the atmosphere.

[00:22:43]So, a nice thing to do by this guy, although pretty ominous.

[00:22:47]But, Aeolus is genuinely a good guy like we said, and he even sends a gentle west wind behind the ship as they take off to get them kind of back to Ithaca, which works rather well. And soon, the crew and Odysseus as its captain are catching glimpses of their home. Yeah, guys.

[00:23:04]They're nearly back, right? To which you must be thinking, "Hold on. I thought this was meant to be a 3-hour-long movie, but they're home?"

[00:23:12]Well, no.

[00:23:13]They're not. They simply see the coast of Ithaca, which is when the crew's curiosity gets the better of them and they decide to open the bag, which Odysseus doesn't tell them is full of evil winds, you know? They think it's full of gold, which Odysseus is going to keep himself.

[00:23:28]As such, an almighty gust of this evil wind erupted, flinging them totally off course all the way back to the island which they'd already come from. Right?

[00:23:39]So, they're nearly home and then they're all the way back to the beginning, which Odysseus, understandably, is fuming over.

[00:23:45]So, he kind of has to get off the ship, go back to Aeolus, be like, "Look, my men are stupid. They opened up this bag of wind. Can you just send us on our way back?" And this guy's like, "Absolutely [ __ ] not. You know, it was a one-time deal. Like, you're going to have to go by the standard winds now, which means you can kiss the next year goodbye."

[00:24:07]Yeah. So, they could have Like, they were literally seeing Ithaca. They could have been home and now they've added an entire 365 days to this journey.

[00:24:16]I would have committed violent crimes, guys.

[00:24:21]Literally, heads would have rolled. If you've already gone for 10 years, and if you're thinking, "Yes, I would have done the same. Like, this is it." Let me tell you.

[00:24:30]This little wind snafu is nothing in comparison to the Laestrygonians.

[00:24:36]So, at this point, morale is low and the crew are yet again sailing along when they find another island, which Odysseus decides to suss out by sending three guys onwards as scouts, right? So, he's learned you can't just go to these islands and kind of expect you men to do the right thing. You've got to kind of, you know, send people ahead.

[00:24:55]And these three scouts come across what can only be described as a mountain of a woman who belongs to a race of cannibal giants called the Laestrygonians. Struck by the sheer size of this woman, the scouts just kind of freeze, after which one of them, you guessed it, again picked up and gobbled up. There's lots of like just people being eaten whole.

[00:25:16]Leading the other two men to flee back to the shore and warn the crew. However, their flight basically becomes like a feeding frenzy which triggers all the Laestrygonians to storm the harbor and throw these huge boulders at the Greeks' ships, sinking 11 of the 12 vessels and then eating several of the crew while Odysseus and like the last remaining kind of men narrowly escape with their lives in their last ship. So, from 12 ships down to one and, you know, all these men as well. So, like a really big big loss here, which is obviously also traumatizing because these guys have just seen their friends kind of be eaten whole. So, morale was already low, now it's like in the underworld, yeah? So, this is some really really bad luck, right? But like you're thinking, okay, they've done the bad wind, they've, you know, got these everyone's been eaten, there's the Cyclops, like this has to be it.

[00:26:18]But you would be wrong, my divas, for it is time that we meet Circe.

[00:26:24]Played in the film by Samantha Morton, Circe is our first deity we meet on the journey, an immortal goddess / sorceress. She has the uncanny trick of turning people into animals, which Odysseus is about to see firsthand.

[00:26:37]So, like we said, they're back on the sea, you know, they're down to one ship.

[00:26:41]They come across, you guessed it, another island, this time called Aeaea.

[00:26:47]But unlike the prior stops, there is no giants or Cyclopses or Laestrygonians or anything else as a matter of fact.

[00:26:56]It was silent. Way, way too silent, which given the prior terrors, you know, sends this kind of unnerving shiver down the spines of the sailors who refuse to go forth without scouts first assessing who was home.

[00:27:09]Which is when we discover a beautiful palace surrounded by wild animals and being drawn in by the sound of gentle singing, the men meet Circe, the beautiful and powerful nymph who invited them inside, gave them food and drinks, and told them to rest.

[00:27:25]But kindness, as you've probably guessed, is not her intention.

[00:27:31]No, you see, while Circe's section in the actual Odyssey only takes up about 40 lines, her character has become an obsession throughout time for her cunning and sleight of hand, thanks to her lacing of the scouts' food with potions, which ultimately transformed all the men but one into pigs. This sole escapee, Eurylochus, ran back to Odysseus who went to confront Circe, but was stopped by Hermes, the messenger god, who advised him to instead offer the nymph sex in exchange for his piggy men's freedom.

[00:28:04]So, Odysseus is like, "If I have to, you know, I will." So, he goes up, he's like, "Listen, if you turn my men back into humans, I'll [ __ ] you, right?" She agrees, after which the two do the deed, um the result of which, according to Homer, was three children. His men, like we said, they are restored, and despite this kind of like terrible first impression, this crew actually ends up staying with Circe on the island for a whole year, where they lived in her palace, drank fancy wine, were waited on by beautiful handmaidens, and pretty much just had a vacation.

[00:28:38]But soon, Odysseus' mind wandered to Ithaca and to his wife, Penelope, which kicks him into gear, and after 12 months of pleasure, the crew set off back with advice and instructions on their next steps from Circe, who seems to have become rather fond of her male friends.

[00:28:56]So, like bad impression of Circe, but she's actually a [ __ ] G. I love her so much throughout this um kind of epic and Samantha Morton who's playing her is meant to be like absolutely incredible.

[00:29:08]So, I'm into this.

[00:29:11]So, now you're probably thinking, "Okay, right, this is it, the home stretch."

[00:29:15]But again, no.

[00:29:17]This time, on Circe's instruction, the crew set off not for Ithaca or for any other kind of cursed island that they've already stumbled across, but rather for the dark, damp, liminal space where the dead wander free and Hades rules them all.

[00:29:33]That's right, divas. We're going to the underworld. So, with Circe's instruction, the crew set sail to the edge of the world in order to consult the Thebian prophet Tiresias about their journey home, which is exceptionally rare here because, as we already explained in the Greek gods episode 2 weeks ago, the living are rarely permitted in the underworld, which adds this kind of like, you know, extra layer of spookiness.

[00:29:58]Now, the first spirit that appears to Odysseus is Elpenor, one of the men who died on the fleet, followed by Odysseus's mom, Anticlea, who, spoiler alert here, he didn't know had died while he was away, and she's kind of like, "Hey, I'm here. I'm dead.

[00:30:13]You know, RIP."

[00:30:15]Meeting both of them, Odysseus is very moved, but he has to kind of, you know, convince himself to push on because he's not really here for either of them, but rather this kind of prophet um who eventually appears and tells him all about Poseidon's curse. He's like, "Hey, FYI, you're [ __ ] right?" And the importance of properly managing his men.

[00:30:34]Basically, he does the whole like, "With great power comes great responsibility" speech. Um Um, you know, you do this and you'll kind of be all right. Here is the things that are going to happen and here's how you can overcome them.

[00:30:46]But while in the underworld, because, you know, he's made the trip and all, Odysseus also ends up speaking to Achilles, who [ __ ] hates the underworld, guys. And he basically has just like a big old [ __ ] about how it sucks to basically be dead and in this void.

[00:31:02]So Odysseus is like, yeah, [ __ ] that.

[00:31:03]And he, you know, yeets out of there um and sets off once more for Ithaca with this kind of advice from this prophet on how to proceed.

[00:31:11]But before long, he starts to hear something strange.

[00:31:16]Right? Something alluring, something magical.

[00:31:20]Which is when we meet the Sirens, who take up most of book 12 of the Odyssey.

[00:31:25]Now, when I say siren, you're probably imagining like a seductive, mermaid-like baddie who lives under the sea and sings to sailors who get sucked under water by magic and beauty or, you know, Cleo, Emma, and Rikki from H2O. But in the Odyssey, the Sirens are neither of those things. Instead, described as bird women creatures who mainly live above water and taunt sailors with their beautiful voices, which is exactly what happens to Odysseus and his men when they come across some of these enchanted bird ladies who, FYI, are not just like mysterious and like a bit taunting. They're properly dangerous here, guys. They torture their victims before drowning and then eating them.

[00:32:10]So this is like super precarious for this small crew, who are only saved by the advice of Circe, who warned Odysseus that he should fill his crew's ears with wax, which he does and, you know, they're all good. But Odysseus does something really like weird here and to be honest, kind of out of character. He doesn't want wax in his ears.

[00:32:30]No. Instead, what he wants is to look and listen to the magical creatures.

[00:32:34]He's like, oh, you know, what is this?

[00:32:36]And as such, told the crew to tie him to the ship's mast so that he could listen while staying firmly in place, which for the first time in this whole [ __ ] journey actually worked. And the crew and the ship kind of get out of the sirens unscathed.

[00:32:52]But guess what? Things soon go back to [ __ ] Yeah. I mean, you didn't actually think like a quick trip to the underworld and, you know, earwax would end this story, did you? Hell, no.

[00:33:02]Instead, the men come face to face with not one but two terrifying sea monsters.

[00:33:09]Yay. This is literally, guys, like the cruise from [ __ ] hell, right? I'd never go on a cruise at the best of times, but this is [ __ ] For now, the men are in the Strait of Messina, which separates mainland Italy and Sicily.

[00:33:23]And they come face to face with Scylla, a female creature with six heads, snake-like necks, and 12 ft. And Charybdis, a mysterious being who lived under a fig tree opposite Scylla's cave.

[00:33:35]Though some say she was actually a personification of a whirlpool who would drink water three times a day and then belch it back out, creating this kind of massive vortex in the water. Regardless, you have this sea snake or you've got a big whirlpool, which is when Odysseus and his men find themselves stuck between the original rock and hard place, right? Trying to avoid Scylla and this other kind of whirlpool force.

[00:34:00]So, what the hell do you do?

[00:34:01]Well, our Queen Circe showed up once again. My god, she's like really coming through. Again, I told you she's like saving these men's asses all the time.

[00:34:09]And urges them to sail closer to Scylla, the scary six-headed creature who was basically deemed the lesser evil because she'd only kill some of the crew, not swallow the whole ship in a whirlpool, you know, like the other kind of person would. So, RIP to six of Odysseus' already tiny crew who were gobbled up by Scylla via each of her heads.

[00:34:31]But the rest, they make it through, right? So they're passing through the Strait of Messina, where they land on Thrinacia, the sacred island of the god Helios, keeper of the sun and guardian of the immortal who lived here with his two daughters that guarded 350 magical cattle who symbolized the cycles of the sun and the moon. Now, key to note here, guys, the crew were already like nervous as [ __ ] to dock here, right? Because the prophet in the underworld had already said to Odysseus, "Hey, tell your crew that if the cattle on this island are harmed, the wrath of the gods will be released on all of them. Okay? No [ __ ] around here."

[00:35:17]So, they were all warned of this, but ultimately they're starving. And while Odysseus is asleep, they decide that survival is more important than a bit of divine punishment. So, they go and kill.

[00:35:28]Cook the meat on a fire.

[00:35:30]And guess what happens?

[00:35:32]The sea suddenly stills. But Helios, owner of the cows, saw and heard all of this, and despite the crew leaving the next day, he calls up Zeus, ring ring, "Hi, these men are fucked." And he strikes the ship with a thunderbolt and creates this terrible storm, and guess what? Boom. Yeah, the ship [ __ ] explodes.

[00:35:54]All the crew, every single one of them except for Odysseus, are consumed by the sea, dead.

[00:36:01]Alone now, stranded with nothing, Odysseus grabs onto a bit of the ship's debris, and after nine cold days and nights at sea, he washes up on the island of Ogygia, where he is rescued by its resident, Calypso. Played by Charlize Theron in the film, Calypso is a beautiful nymph who is believed to be the daughter of Atlas, a Titan god.

[00:36:23]Described as alluring with gorgeous clothes and braided hair, she lived on Ogygia as punishment for supporting her Titan father in the Titanomachy, which again, 2 weeks ago I spoke about in the Greek gods episode. If you haven't already listened, definitely do it.

[00:36:36]But to be honest, you guys, this is hardly a punishment because Ogygia is absolutely breathtaking, okay? There's violet meadows, there's orchards of fruit, there's aqua blue waters, there's forests, and the whole place smells of like sandalwood and cedar and juniper.

[00:36:57]Like at no point in this journey, I mean, I've already said it a million times, would I ever want to be in Odysseus's kind of steps, but I reckon I'd pit stop here.

[00:37:07]You know, I wouldn't mind a little um a little vacay, especially if Shelley's is there. We'd have a great time.

[00:37:14]Which FYI, I love how throughout this whole thing Odysseus is basically just being saved by the gals.

[00:37:20]Like first there's Circe and now Calypso who brings him in and kind of, you know, falls head over heels for him here, which again, this this lady's been stuck on this island alone, and there's this little guy who's distressed, and she's kind of like, "Oh, I can take care of you." And so, she kind of falls in love with him.

[00:37:40]And according to uh some versions of this tale actually, their affair produces two kids, um which means obviously then it wasn't quite a one-night stand. In fact, Odysseus has stayed on Ogygia for not one, not two, but seven years. So again, 10 years fighting in the wars, delayed by a year from the wind bag, chilling with Circe for a year, and now holing up with Calypso for another seven. So, 19 years, right? This [ __ ] has been on the wander. Although, to be fair, Calypso did technically hold him captive while he's kind of, you know, going on about how he's homesick for his wife and child, but she doesn't really care.

[00:38:21]In fact, it would take intervention from Zendaya herself to set Odysseus free.

[00:38:27]That's right, guys. We are talking about Athena, goddess of war and wisdom, who ends up asking Zeus to intervene and send Odysseus home.

[00:38:36]He agrees, sending Hermes, the messenger god, to tell Calypso to let Odysseus go free, which she really doesn't want to do, guys. So, instead, she goes back to Odysseus and he's like, "Hey, what if I make you immortal? If you stay, you can live forever."

[00:38:50]But, he rejects.

[00:38:52]You know, he's like, "No, I need to go and see my my wife and son. Nothing's more precious than that to me." Which really kind of touches Calypso's heart, who not only agrees to let him go, but gives him everything he needed to complete his journey, right? Including a gorgeous bronze axe. Um she makes him fresh sails and warm clothes, um wine, water, favorable winds, all of this.

[00:39:13]So, Odysseus, after 19 years, is kind of finally back on the sea towards Ithaca in this little makeshift raft kind of thing.

[00:39:22]Um but, he's almost instantly put through the wringer by Poseidon, who created an extremely tumultuous storm, which saw Odysseus capsize his boat and sink beneath the water.

[00:39:31]Only saved when yet another woman comes to rescue him. Yeah, the girls saving Odysseus this whole time.

[00:39:42]Known as the goddess Ino, she told Odysseus to strip off his heavy clothing and gave him a veil, which kept him alive as he swam to the nearest bit of land, while Athena calmed the sea.

[00:39:54]Arriving naked and hungry on the island of Scheria, Odysseus heard the voices of girls in the distance, which he follows, finding the gorgeous Queen Nausicaa, who again, feeling sorry for this poor guy, takes him into the palace of the Phaeacians, who showed him excellent xenia, which is a running theme throughout the entire Odyssey, as we kind of said, um you know, about basically wanting to be charitable to those who come to you and help. Which, in this case, the Phaeacians do, giving Odysseus food, shelter, clothing, and also, probably most importantly at this point, an opportunity to vent. So, like a real housewife plied with ice-cold Belvedere, Odysseus spills the beans on who he is, why he's standing in front of them looking like a man who hasn't, you know, known joy for 17 years, and like just this whole story. From the Cicones to the wind bag to the Sirens to the Scylla, you know, all while, of course, admitting the parts where he was a dick, and you know, his crew kind of killed these magical cows. Odysseus tells his story. And wowed by these trials, the Phaeacians were really sympathetic towards him, granting him a magical Phaeacian ship, which was basically set up with this like pre-programmed GPS for Ithaca, so he couldn't go wrong.

[00:41:09]And so, Odysseus, after 10 years of war and now 10 years at sea, finally sets off once and for all back home, arriving on the shores of Ithaca, where he looks nothing like the king who left. Now, you may be thinking, well, [ __ ] obviously, right? He's been to war, and like stranded at sea, and it's been 20 years. Of course, he's going to look different. But that is not what I mean here.

[00:41:35]Cautioned by Athena that all was not well in the Ithacan royal court, she disguised Odysseus as an old beggar to basically allow him to like go undercover, right? And suss out the situation for himself.

[00:41:48]Speaking of which, what is happening at the Ithacan royal court?

[00:41:53]Well, for the last 7 years or so after the end of the Trojan War, so Trojan War ends 1 or 2 years after that, Odysseus like still hasn't come home, various suitors had gathered in Ithaca vying for the hand of Penelope, Odysseus's wife, in order to become king, right? Like we spoke about at the top.

[00:42:09]But you're probably thinking, well, hang on.

[00:42:12]Isn't Tom Holland his son? Like, obviously, you know, he would become king." But, this is not necessarily the case. In Mycenaean Greece, a king's position was not always inherited automatically. And with Telemachus still being so young and having kind of never proved himself as a leader, it was a real possibility that one of the suitors could actually become king.

[00:42:36]But, again, this all depended on Odysseus like being dead, right? Which Penelope never believed he was. And as such, refused all of the suitors, telling them she would remarry when she finished weaving a funeral shroud for Odysseus's dad.

[00:42:51]They accept this reasoning. They're like, "Okay, yep, you know, fair enough.

[00:42:54]We can't We can't stand between a lady and her crafts." Living in her castle, waiting for the shroud to be finished, which, guess what? It never was. Yeah.

[00:43:02]Penelope basically would like all throughout the day weave this shroud and be like, "Yeah, yeah, when this is finished when this is finished." But, then at night she'd sit there and like unpick all of her work, which Homer says she did for 3 years before one of her maids, Melantho, being off, revealed the trick to the suitors, which brings us to year 20. So, this is like this final year that we're in now. And after the ruse is exposed, the 108 suitors become increasingly aggressive, demanding that Penelope choose a husband, which is when Odysseus, disguised as the beggar, returns home. Now, before we get back to this main kind of timeline, I do want to talk about what Telemachus is doing like in all of this, because this will be one of like the other timelines that are happening concurrently to Odysseus's journey in Nolan's films. We know he loves the different timelines, so there'll be lots of back and forth.

[00:43:56]So, with the suitors breathing down his mom's neck and no sign of his dad, Telemachus goes on his own journey called the Telemachy, which is basically the first coming of age story, which follows the search for his father.

[00:44:09]So, Telemachus was born kind of right around the outbreak of the Trojan War, probably like a year year or two before.

[00:44:15]And as such, he grows up without his dad. And kind of without his mom, who while, you know, obviously still present, was just devastated at her husband's absence. And obviously, like the stress of having these 108 fully grown random men in her house, which she's expected to entertain them under proper xenia. So, no Penelope slander on this page. I won't hear it. But Telemachus is over all this waiting around, right? He wants to know what happened. He's also getting bullied by the suitors, the worst of whom, like we said, is Antinous, Robert Pattinson.

[00:44:46]And so, Athena appears to Telemachus and encourages him to undertake a journey to look for his father. So, yes, divas, like I said, we're going to be getting Zendaya and Tom Holland acting together yet again, which, you know, I personally can't get enough of.

[00:45:01]Okay, quick pause. This is future Ainsley speaking here. I saw The Odyssey last night, guys. There is zero Tom Holland and Zendaya screen time. So sorry, um to be the bearer of bad news here, but no.

[00:45:16]This is a major deviation here. So, big sad. We're just all going to have to watch Spider-Man instead. With Athena disguising herself as Mentor, a friend of Odysseus, and accompanying Telemachus on the search, where they stop at the kingdom of Nestor in Pylos, where Telemachus basically has this like confidence crisis. He's like, you know, I can't be taken seriously. I'm just a boy. But Athena's like, "Come on. Stop pissing about. You can do this." Which he does. Asking Nestor point-blank about his father, who was impressed by his directness and confidence, telling Telemachus of his father's bravery in the war. But he's sorry, you know, he basically doesn't know what happened to him after that. He hasn't seen him. He hasn't heard from him.

[00:45:55]So, at this point, Telemachus and Athena journey on to visit our OGs from the Iliad, okay? King Menelaus and Queen Helen of Sparta, who, you know, they're like, "Yeah, your dad, oh my god, we love him. He was so great. Like, he's so brave." And it really does become clear Telemachus through this how revered and respected his father was, which he's like, you know, "Thank you, but um where the [ __ ] is he?" Right? And they're like, "Well, last we heard he's trapped on Calypso's Island. Obviously, terrible news, you know, we're so sorry." But Telemachus is like, "No, it's all right because it means he's not dead." And really confirms what his mother has said all along. Odysseus is alive, she doesn't have to remarry, Telemachus can still inherit after his father's death, like, let's go.

[00:46:44]So, with this news and this new found kind of confidence, Telemachus returns back to Ithaca, arriving on the shores at the same time as his father, which is when we kind of come back to our original timeline, right?

[00:46:58]So, now Odysseus, like we said, who is disguised, is home. And he begins his ascent from the shores to the hut of his former childhood friend, Eumaeus, where one of you literally I'm going to try not to cry. I was writing this and weeping.

[00:47:14]Like, fully crying.

[00:47:17]If you got a dog, maybe like skip ahead, but one of the saddest and most memorable scenes in really all of history plays out.

[00:47:24]Lying on the ground, old, nearly blind, and too weak to stand was Argos, the puppy Odysseus had left behind when he set off for the Trojan War.

[00:47:33]Argos, having waited 20 years for his master to return, immediately recognized Odysseus despite the disguise, which Homer painfully describes to us saying that he wagged his tail and lowered his ears, trying to greet Odysseus, but he no longer had the strength to crawl.

[00:47:50]Suck it up. Suck it up. Suck it up. Suck the tears up, guys. I don't know how we're going to watch this scene.

[00:47:56]I wish there was like a setting for films like it's like a a special viewing where there's no animal deaths or injuries or like otherwise sad things to do with any form of animals, especially dogs. But Odysseus greets him. He sheds a tear, you know, he bends down, he kind of says goodbye to Argos, which um Homer tells us here the dark shadow of death descended upon him as soon as he had seen Odysseus in his 20th year.

[00:48:21]Want to cry.

[00:48:23]Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Okay.

[00:48:26]We're moving on. All right? We're just going to have to close our eyes for that part of the film.

[00:48:31]And we're just going to have to at least be like, well, Odysseus is back home.

[00:48:36]Okay? He's he's he's at least got to say goodbye. He's seen his doggy. Now we're moving on. No more tears.

[00:48:42]So, Odysseus carries on to Eumaeus's hut where his old friend, despite again not recognizing him, like he's in this disguise welcomes him in and he's like, yep, come in.

[00:48:51]Um you know, here's some food, here's shelter.

[00:48:54]And he's kind of like spilling the tea.

[00:48:57]He like he like loves the gossip. He's like, oh my gosh, you should you know, hear what's going up in the up in the palace there. There's, you know, all these suitors, but there's it's really tragic cuz there's this new twist. While Telemachus has been away, I've overheard they're all hatching a plan to kill him.

[00:49:11]Right? Which is when footsteps approach.

[00:49:15]Already on high alert, Odysseus turns towards the door and who should walk in but his own grown son.

[00:49:24]His jaw drops and his eyes grow wide as the baby he'd left was now a man. And while not recognizing his father, he treated him graciously, accepting the responsibility of caring for the old man.

[00:49:35]This was all that Odysseus really could have hoped for. Right? And after the journey he'd been on which is all about great learning and the importance of humility and graciousness and xenia, seeing that his son kind of has all of this and more is a moment of real pride. After which Athena removed the beggar's disguise and revealed Odysseus, king of Ithaca, to his son. After 20 years. Oh, chills. Telemachus was, of course, struck by his father's return, and the two embraced before hatching a plan to take down the suitors. He's like, "All right, son. Let's lock in.

[00:50:11]Love to see you, but these [ __ ] have to die." Telemachus is cautious, of course, given the sheer number of suitors, but Odysseus tells him like, "It's all right. Athena's on our side.

[00:50:21]It's all going to be fine."

[00:50:23]After all, like let's be real, he's fought, you know, Cyclopses and like cannibals. So, plus he's been like bashed around with by gods, Poseidon.

[00:50:32]So, he's like, "Whatever, I'm just going to kill these [ __ ] Like it's a cakewalk. It'll be easy." And he passes this confidence on to Telemachus, and they hatch this plan together. So, after this huddle, Odysseus transforms back into the beggar, so he's got his disguise back on. He accompanies his son to the palace, where he then sneaks off, um, Telemachus's sneaks off, and gathers a bunch of weapons, kind of keeping them hidden, but nearby, so that when they would launch their offensive, they'd be ready, right? He then returns to his mother, who he really sees in a new light. Having journeyed in search for his father, and now full of confidence and maturity, he really saw her not as neglectful or sorrowful, but a woman of strength and duty. Someone who never gave up, and as such, was courteous and empathetic towards her. Again, I said, "No Penelope slander is allowed."

[00:51:19]Meanwhile, beggar Odysseus is kind of like creeping about the palace, when he runs into the suitors and tries to, you know, get to know who's who's who in the zoo right here. What are all of their kind of motives? What's the dynamics?

[00:51:31]Which is when he meets Antinous, who is like, "Fuck you. What are you doing here? You're a beggar. Get out." He throws a chair at Odysseus, but instead of Odysseus falling over, it just like ricochets off him, cuz he's like [ __ ] buff.

[00:51:42]Because he's, you know, been fighting all of these people, and literally fighting for his life for 10 years.

[00:51:47]And he then turns around and basically says, "Well, you're reading off another person's table just as I do." Which [ __ ] facts. I hate Antinous. He's such a weasel. Like, weasel is the perfect way to describe him. Like, he should have been played by Robert Pattinson, he'll be amazing, but he should have been played by one of the like Hollywood's rat men, you know?

[00:52:05]So, after this, Penelope then walks in, right? She's stunning. She's beautiful as ever. And she kind of announces to everyone present, "Um hello. Yeah, hi.

[00:52:15]No more fighting. Just letting you all know, I'm going to pick Ithaca's new king based off who can string this old bow of my husband's and shoot an arrow through 12 lined up axe heads."

[00:52:26]So, the suitors are all curious kind of about this task. It seems like a lot to ask and retire in order to prepare for the tournament, which is when Penelope comes forth to the beggar Odysseus and questions him. Through tears, she asks if he has ever seen her husband, to which he replies, "Your husband will be home soon."

[00:52:44]Overjoyed, she asks the old nurse, Eurycleia, to help clean up um you know, this kind of beggar. She then finds this kind of scar on Odysseus's leg that she herself attended to and he's like, "Oh my god." And he's like, "Shush." And she's like, "Okay, cool." Or like, "Whatever you need me to do, I'll do."

[00:53:00]Right? So, at this point, Odysseus has a couple of allies, um but, you know, he's still kind of got to face off against these these suitors, which goes down the day of the archery contest.

[00:53:13]So, it's kind of, you know, all these suitors are in this line, they're lined up. And the first one on the block is Telemachus, who failed three times to string this big bow, but on the fourth, it seems like he's just about to succeed until Odysseus, still disguised, basically like looks at him and he's like, "No, don't do it. Like, I'll do it." After this, Odysseus goes over to Eumaeus and basically is like, "Look at my scar. Look at my scar." And he's like, "Oh my god, it's you." And he then says to him, "Yes, it's me, but like shush. And FYI, can you go and lock the queen and her maids kind of away for safety? Again, it's very dramatic here.

[00:53:49]Um and after every single suitor has kind of failed to string this bow, they can't do it, Odysseus finally steps forward.

[00:53:55]The suitors are absolutely outraged by this. After all, like if this beggar, right, manages to do this task, he's going to become king of Ithaca.

[00:54:04]But Telemachus is kind of like, look, we've got to give all men present a chance. Basically like this is a reverse Cinderella story, after which Odysseus tells them, if I manage to do this, I'll hit something even more impressive afterwards. Again, the drama. I'm I love it.

[00:54:20]So the suitors, full of judgment, are like, sure Jan, you know, you go and do it. Show us all like it'd be it'd be funny. We'll love like a you know, something to laugh at.

[00:54:28]Odysseus, of course, like strings it easily. He fires a single shot through the axe heads, um followed by one more straight through Antinous's throat.

[00:54:39]Yeah, straight through the neck.

[00:54:41]After which, you know, he then reveals himself and thanks to Athena, he looks so [ __ ] good, guys. Like he looks exactly like he did when he left, you know, for the Trojan War. He's got Botox and collagen and all of the things. Like he looks amazing.

[00:54:55]And all of the suitors are like, holy [ __ ] What have we done? Not only have we like basically robbed this guy for all these years, you know, eating his food and staying in his palace, but like he's here and we've been giving him [ __ ] as this beggar. And they're like, please Odysseus, like we'll be good. Like here's some money. Like let us go. And he's like, no, [ __ ] that. All of you are going to face my [ __ ] judgment. And so Telemachus and Odysseus and Eumaeus, they all arm themselves and they start fighting, but then then the suitors get weapons and it just turns into chaos.

[00:55:27]And for a minute, Odysseus is like, I can't do this, but then he, you know, Athena comes and speaks to him and she's like, [ __ ] remember all of those remember the Cyclops? Remember the Trojan War? Like you'll be fine.

[00:55:38]She also then kind of joins in the battle.

[00:55:42]And it's over. Right? Odysseus is home. He's killed all of these suitors. He calls for the old maid to bring in kind of all of the handmaidens who had betrayed Penelope um and kind of hangs them and justice has been spared.

[00:55:57]Speaking of which, how does Penelope react to all of this?

[00:56:00]I mean, that's the big thing we want to know.

[00:56:03]Well, to be honest, not that well, guys.

[00:56:06]After 20 years away, Odysseus expected, you know, weeping and lots of sex. But, that's not what happened.

[00:56:13]Seeing the amount of men that this man had killed, Penelope believed that Odysseus must have been a god, not her true husband.

[00:56:20]He tried to convince her, but still her eyes clung to the ground. She wouldn't even look him in the face, right?

[00:56:25]So, defeated and probably kind of pissed, which like I think I think that's probably justified, right? You wait for your wife for all of these years to like be like, "Oh my god." Although, he didn't really wait for her. Did he? He [ __ ] both Circe and Calypso. But, still he's like pretty depressed. He's like, "Ah, like I just want to lay down. Like this has been a day."

[00:56:45]And she's like, "Oh, yeah. Okay, you can lay down, but like servant, can you move Can you move his bed into the other room?" And Odysseus is like, "What are you talking about?

[00:56:54]That's impossible to do. I carved that bed myself out of an olive tree. It is too heavy to move." After which, Penelope's like, "Holy [ __ ] it is you."

[00:57:03]And the two finally, after 20 years, embrace and then all the sex happens, right? After which, Athena then extends the night, so it's like instead of, you know, 12 hours of darkness, whatever it is, it's like 2 days of darkness.

[00:57:17]Lots of [ __ ] during which all of this time, um you know, Odysseus is like, "Ah, let me tell you what I went through. Like, I was delayed because X Y Z." Although, I'm sure he left out the Circe and the Calypso parts, but he kind of um you know, lays it out all out on the line, all this death, all this all this suffering and everything he's been through on this really perilous journey and basically ends it being like how good is it to be home and you know in your own bed which to be fair is like the most relatable thing about Odysseus and this whole [ __ ] trip.

[00:57:54]Basically the Odyssey boils down to other than the fact that like the person who gets the last laugh is probably Polyphemus who's like made Odysseus go on this extra 10 year journey because he blinded him is really the key message that there is nothing on earth better than getting into your own bed after being away for ages.

[00:58:15]To which that is just like a story as old as time. It will forever transcend you know the generations. So home is a king, he loves his own bed. Which brings us up to the final book of the Odyssey, right?

[00:58:30]Book 24 which is Odysseus's reunion with his father. I'm never sure how to say it, I think it's Laertes. La- Laertes.

[00:58:39]Laertes. I'm going to go Laertes.

[00:58:42]Still disguised, he loves his disguise he keeps pulling on and off. He goes to Laertes' home and slowly reveals himself by describing the details of a number of trees that he had planted when he was a boy after which the father and son emotionally reunite. Again lots of drama like uh are you getting what I'm putting down?

[00:58:59]Like am I aren't I? He loves like teasing people. But eventually the father and son go back to the palace, they link up with Telemachus where the three generations of men are now forced to deal with all of these suitors' fathers, you know, who they've like he's killed all of these guys. Um which basically ends with this epic scene of Laertes killing Antinous's father with a swift blow. Like basically like a like a badass grandpa basically. Which brings us to the end of the Odyssey.

[00:59:27]It's a tale of tests and tribulations looking at the dangers of hubris and gluttony and temptation and pride while enforcing one really key consistent message throughout apart from the how good your own bed is, which is xenia, hospitality, and kind of humility. Something that if you do can have an impact that changes someone's life forever.

[00:59:49]So while Homer's works, especially the treatment of women in the Iliad in particular, is questionable to say the least, the messages really woven throughout remain as steadfast today as they did back then, and something we'd all do well to heed in our own lives.

[01:00:05]Which brings us to the end of another episode of Hot History, guys. Thank you so, so much for following along with me on this episode. I know it's like lots of and then this and then this and then this crazy thing and like it's it's it's a lot, but I honestly can't wait for you all to go and see the Odyssey in your nearest cinema, and if you can, definitely go and see it on IMAX, right?

[01:00:24]It's meant to be It was all filmed on cameras. It's meant to be seen on IMAX to be epic and and, you know, huge.

[01:00:31]And I really want to say to you guys, regardless of the noise of a casting and costumes and Botox faces and, you know, like whatever the [ __ ] else people are winging about, I really do think we should all revel in any chance to immerse ourselves in history, especially ancient history, which is so rich and fundamental to how we understand our world and ourselves within it through cinema. So I hope these couple of episodes have kind of laid enough groundwork for you to go in as an expert, you know, and kind of be like, "Yes, this, this, this." Or if not, just have a good time. Right? Sirens, cyclopses, kind of almost camp levels of drama, magical cows. Like it's just cool.

[01:01:11]And make sure you tune in next week as well, because we are keeping it in within the ancient Greek world, but we're kind of stepping stepping away from the Trojan War, the Odyssey kind of stuff. we're looking at one of my favorite characters in history. Her name is Artemisia of Caria. Um she was this queen who then went and became like a navy admiral for the god king Xerxes, and she was described as more man than men. So, make sure to tune in.

[01:01:39]But, as always, guys, if you are looking for some more hot history before then, then find us on TikTok at hot.history and on Instagram at hot history club.

[01:01:47]I've also linked the Substack down for you guys below. But, it has been a pleasure, as always, getting down and dirty in time with you, and I will speak to you all shortly. Thanks, guys. Love you. Bye.