10 Women, 1 Man: China’s Biggest Leftover Women City with Over 1 Million Single Women

[00:00:00]As the only daughter in my family, at 33 years old, my parents insist on finding a live-in son-in-law. These days, finding a man willing to marry into the wife's family is harder than climbing to the sky. Seeing that I'm still unmarried, my parents have adjusted their requirements. Tell me what you think. First and most importantly, we're not looking for a wealthy man. Ideally, he should have no house, no car, and no savings, a three-no poor man. Why?

[00:00:29]Because the chances of a rich man to become a live-in son-in-law are almost zero. A poor man is more likely to agree. In fact, the poorer the better.

[00:00:39]The kind of poor that can barely make ends meet. The poorer he is, the more I like him. Second, my parents also said that divorced men with children are preferred. That actually matches my own thinking. The main reason is that I'm getting older, and if I end up unable to have children in the future, I need a backup plan. If I can't have kids, then hopefully the man's existing child can help support and take care of our family when we're old. This point is especially important. It's the top priority. Other than that, there aren't really any strict requirements. Finally, I wish my parents the best of luck in finding their ideal poor son-in-law as soon as possible.

[00:01:18]In several large urban centers across China, shifting social expectations and rapid economic change have created a very different dating landscape from previous generations. One of the most discussed patterns is the growing imbalance in marriage markets, where millions of educated, financially independent women remain single well into their late 20s and 30s. I'm already this age and still not married, and my parents feel very sad about it. They really do. But at this stage of my life, I feel that I can only live and survive in a way that suits my age and circumstances. After all, we only get one life. I don't want to have regrets, and I don't want to make choices I'll be sorry for later. I don't want to get married casually, and then end up divorcing casually afterward. I know some of you may think I look a bit unattractive on camera. Please don't dislike me for that. Really, truly. Many people keep attacking my age and my appearance, but those are things my parents gave me. There's nothing I can do about that, and I'm not going to get cosmetic surgery, right? This is who I am. I'm a very genuine person. If I really wanted to find a rich wife and take advantage of her, do you think I couldn't? I could. I could get money that way, but I don't want to. I just hope everyone can live a good life. I hope our lives can be harmonious, peaceful, and happy. That's enough for me. The roots of this situation can be traced to decades of demographic and cultural transformation. The long-term effects of the one-child policy, combined with traditional preferences for male children in certain regions, contributed to a skewed population structure in some age groups. At the same time, urbanization has drawn young people into cities for education and work, where women have increasingly outpaced men in university enrollment.

[00:03:10]This has created a pool of highly educated women whose expectations around marriage have also evolved significantly compared to earlier generations. Hello, everyone. I'm 33 years old this year.

[00:03:22]Among older single women, I'd say I'm one of the more accomplished ones. I currently have savings of 3.83 million yuan, own three properties, and have a car. I've noticed that whenever I return to my hometown, nobody introduces me to potential dates anymore. That's because the matchmaking scene there has basically disappeared. Honestly, I'm not surprised. I feel that small towns simply aren't suitable for me. The kind of person I'm looking for isn't there.

[00:03:51]But in big cities, I still consider myself someone who is in demand on the dating market. I'm actually quite afraid of going back to my hometown. If people introduce someone to me and I don't even look into it, I come across as cold and arrogant. But if I do go on the date, it feels like I'm betraying my own feelings. At the same time, I'm worried about offending people. If I decline out of politeness or embarrassment, others assume that my standards are too high.

[00:04:19]They think I'm too picky, that I can't settle for someone at my level, but also can't attract someone better. In any case, all kinds of unpleasant comments start coming out. That's something I really can't accept. So these days, I basically don't like visiting people or going out. I only leave the house once a week. I wash my hair about once a month.

[00:04:41]When I do go out each week, I spend around 60 yuan on groceries. I actually think this lifestyle is pretty good.

[00:04:48]Living alone is free and carefree. Then, without even realizing it, I ended up becoming what people call a high-quality older single woman. Now, no matter where I go, people keep asking me questions about my relationship status. It's extremely annoying. Every day, I feel very frustrated and irritated. I think only people who are at this stage of life and in this state of mind can truly understand this feeling. Otherwise, it's hard for them to relate to it. In many big cities, women are now encouraged to pursue careers, independence, and personal growth before settling down. As a result, the idea of marriage is no longer seen as an immediate or mandatory milestone. Many women prefer partners who match or exceed their educational and financial status, which narrows the pool of suitable matches within their preferred age range. On the other hand, some men in the same cities feel pressured by rising housing costs and social expectations, which can delay their readiness for marriage and create further imbalance in timing between the two groups. I finally figure out why I'm single. So, I asked Deep Seek. Among Chinese men aged 27 to 38, unmarried, over 1.8 m tall, earning more than 10,000 yuan per month, holding a bachelor's degree or higher, emotionally stable, responsible, filial to their parents, kind-hearted, with good values, parents who have pensions, handsome and cheerful, non-smokers, non-drinkers, non-gamblers, don't visit prostitutes, have no violent tendencies, no bad habits, and own both a house and a car.

[00:06:28]How many are there? Do you know what Deep Seek answered? Only five. There are only five such men in all of China. No wonder I'm still single. And even if those five men do exist, girls would have to take turns and it still wouldn't be my turn. Grinning face with sweat.

[00:06:45]Social pressure still plays a major role in shaping perceptions of single women.

[00:06:50]The term often used in Chinese media, which translates roughly to leftover women, has been widely criticized but still influences public conversation.

[00:06:59]Women in their late 20s and 30s can sometimes face family concern or societal questioning about their relationship status, even when they are successful and independent. This cultural lens adds emotional weight to what might otherwise simply be a demographic shift, making the topic more sensitive and widely discussed. I'm 37 and still not married. It's really not because, as some people say, my standards are too high or that I'm asking for a huge bride price. I just haven't met the right person who truly matches me. By the way, how old are you all? What zodiac sign were you born under? Feel free to leave it in the comments. Honestly, I really do want to get married. I'm 37, unmarried, and I don't have any children. At the moment, I don't really know what the downsides of marriage are. But, I can think of many downsides to not getting married.

[00:07:52]First, your family line could end with you. Second, if you ever need surgery, there may be no one available to sign consent forms for you. Third, when you're old and living in a nursing home, there may be no one to stand up for you.

[00:08:06]If you don't have children, people might mistreat or bully you. And when you die, there may not even be anyone to take care of your funeral arrangements. So, if possible, I think people should still try to get married. Matchmaking parks and informal dating markets in cities have become symbolic of this phenomenon.

[00:08:24]In these spaces, parents often gather to promote their unmarried children, sharing profiles and hoping to find suitable matches. In many cases, there are noticeably more women's profiles than men's, especially among those who are well-educated and living in major cities. This visual imbalance has fueled the popular narrative of many women, few men. Today, I went on a blind date with a 45-year-old man, and he didn't want to marry me just because I made one small request. Hello, everyone. I'm Wheezy.

[00:08:56]Today, I went on a blind date with a 45-year-old man, full of hope that it might be the start of a new relationship. When I first met him, his mature and steady demeanor gave me a good impression. As we talked, I felt he was someone with a lot of experience and stories to tell. However, when I mentioned one small request, that after marriage, I wanted to have my own job and remain financially independent, his expression changed instantly. He said he hoped his wife would devote herself entirely to taking care of the family and did not support me working outside the home. I was surprised and disappointed. I believe women should have their own careers and personal goals, rather than being limited solely to family responsibilities. His reaction made me realize that our values were very different. The blind date ended in failure, but I don't regret making that request. I firmly believe that the person who truly loves me will respect my choices and support my dreams. I will continue waiting for the right person.

[00:09:57]Someone who can walk through life with me as an equal partner. Changing gender roles, economic pressures, and evolving expectations about love and partnership have all reshaped how relationships form. What once followed a more predictable path toward early marriage has become a more individualized process, where both men and women are negotiating personal goals alongside social expectations. Come, come, let me tell you something. I'm 57 years old this year. I'm single with no husband and no children. Let me tell you what being single is really like. I've truly been single my entire life. And now that I've reached this age, I can tell you that being single is not as great as people think. You're still young, so it probably feels wonderful right now.

[00:10:45]You're free, carefree, and can do whatever you want. That's exactly how I spent the first several decades of my life, too. No attachments, no responsibilities. As long as I could feed myself, I had nothing to worry about. I could go wherever I wanted without having to take care of a family or compromise for anyone. Those days really were free and easy. But let me tell you, once you reach my age, the feeling starts to change. It's not because I don't have money, and it's not because I can't get by. It's because the moment you get a headache or catch a fever, you start feeling nervous and afraid. Sometimes I sit there by myself and think, "What if one day I suddenly collapse?

[00:11:27]There won't even be anyone beside me to help me up. If I end up hospitalized, who will help me with all the paperwork?

[00:11:34]Who will stay with me and take care of me? If I want a hot meal or simply need help turning over in bed, I'll have to depend on caregivers and wait until they have time for me. When I get even older, even if I move into the best nursing home imaginable, other people will have children visiting them and spouses keeping them company. I'll be all alone with no one to talk to. I might even end up being mistreated by the staff.

[00:11:58]Honestly, these days I feel like a frightened bird. Any little sign of trouble makes me anxious, and that anxiety can stay with me for a long time. So, I'm telling you, don't just look at me and think I seem strong on the outside. Deep down, I feel very insecure. Why? Because I have no one behind me to rely on. No husband, no children. That's what it feels like. So, I sincerely want to give you some advice. To all you young people out there, please don't follow my example.

[00:12:30]Don't think being single is cool, and don't keep putting off marriage and having children forever. The freedom and carefree lifestyle you enjoy when you're young may come at the cost of stability and security in old age. Having a partner, a family, and children isn't a burden. When you grow old, they can become the most genuine source of support, comfort, and strength in your life. Take a look at my two daughters.

[00:12:54]Tell me, which one do you prefer? This one is the younger sister, gentle, kind, and a teacher. And this one is the older sister, lively, cheerful, and she owns a clothing store. So, which one catches your eye?

[00:13:07]Uncle and auntie, your son works hard to earn money outside, so when he comes home, he should just rest. I'll take care of all the housework. You two just focus on playing with your grandson.

[00:13:17]After working hard for half your lives, it's time to enjoy some peace and happiness. Those who are over 40 and have never been married, actually not just 40, even those over 35. I suggest women avoid dating older leftover men or leftover women.

[00:13:32]These two groups, you know what I mean.

[00:13:35]We've come across many older single women, and yes, some of them are indeed very eccentric and extremely picky.

[00:13:41]But most of them just really don't want to settle.

[00:13:44]They have jobs and good incomes. Some even have their own house, car, and savings.

[00:13:49]They simply don't want to get married just to end up being someone's maid. But older single men are a different story altogether.

[00:13:56]Whether they're never married or divorced, they come with way too many issues. No house, no car, no savings, and still going on about how women shouldn't ask them for money.

[00:14:06]They earn maybe 5,000 to 6,000 yuan a month, yet they expect the woman to not only earn more, but also be beautiful.

[00:14:13]Meanwhile, they're extremely stingy themselves, and yet they expect the woman to spend on them. Like, why should I spend money on a man who won't spend a dime on me?

[00:14:22]Don't you think it's exhausting dealing with someone like that? And then there are those seemingly high-quality older single men, even worse.

[00:14:30]They're either ridiculously picky, or they want to marry up into a higher social class. Or they're stingy and irresponsible.

[00:14:37]And the last kind? The ones with hardware issues, like short height or unattractive looks.

[00:14:43]They're lacking in every department, even basic social skills.

[00:14:47]Being a matchmaker is really something I can't do anymore.

[00:14:50]For some people, finding a partner is harder than reaching the sky.

[00:14:54]They want someone who looks good, has a decent job, comes from a good family, and also has a compatible personality.

[00:15:01]But where are you going to find someone that perfect? In real life, if such a hexagon warrior, someone perfect in all aspects, existed, they would have already been snatched up by someone else.

[00:15:11]At that point, it's not even about whether you are picky, it's about whether you'll even encounter someone like that. People that perfect are incredibly rare. And even if you do meet one, they probably won't be interested in you. You might not have any standout qualities yourself, or maybe just one or two strengths, but you insist that your partner must score full marks in every category. You refuse to compromise.

[00:15:35]Well, for people like that, they might as well prepare to grow old alone.

[00:15:39]You married him and two months later you ran off. Are you sure as a woman that just because you marry this man, you'll stay with him for life? You ask for a high bride price. Are you sure you can spend your whole life with this man?

[00:15:51]Probably not. Then why are you demanding a bride price? You say it's your form of security.

[00:15:57]Fine. You want security. What about the man's security? If you run off, isn't he left with nothing? Isn't it all just a waste? This is all pure selfishness, just thinking about yourself. Women think men give too little. Men think women ask for too much. You get it? Men complain that women are too materialistic. Women complain men are not capable.

[00:16:20]But how capable are they themselves?

[00:16:22]Most can't even earn much. Right? A monthly salary of 3,500, calling herself an independent strong woman.

[00:16:31]The guy earns 3,000 to 4,000 a month, and he looks down on other salaries. One of my fans, his top follower, went on a blind date. He runs a business and earns about 300,000 a year.

[00:16:43]The woman is a teacher making 5,000 a month. She said his 300,000 a year isn't enough to support her. She said, "You earn 300,000 a year. How can you afford to support me?

[00:16:55]Oh my god, how do you survive on 5,000 a month? Did you grow up eating dirt?

[00:17:00]Someone earning 3,000 a month dares to demand that a man earn 30,000? Someone earning 5,000 a month scoffs at a man making 200 to 300k a year, saying it's not real money.

[00:17:11]They aim high but deliver little. Bad tempered, thick-skinned, arrogant, entitled, and condescending.

[00:17:18]They think they deserve everything, but their fate is fragile as paper.

[00:17:22]They act like the world owes them.

[00:17:24]They're not here for a marriage meeting.

[00:17:25]They're here to collect a debt from your family.

[00:17:28]They're raiding your home.

[00:17:30]They have no sense of contribution, only a looter's mindset, like they've come to rob your house. Oh my god, why did I even leave? I'm a guy from Sichuan. Why did I go all the way to Shangshi or Tangshan in Hubei?

[00:17:43]Because the mindset here is getting worse.

[00:17:45]Even people in Sichuan are learning this now. We used to not ask for bride prices.

[00:17:51]Now they ask for 100,000 or 180,000.

[00:17:55]It used to be just a symbolic gesture.

[00:17:57]Your family gives what they can. It wasn't a demand like, you must give me this much even if you have to take out a loan.

[00:18:04]That's wrong, understand? Now marriage feels like a business deal.

[00:18:08]Resisting bride price is resisting the commercialization of marriage.

[00:18:12]Otherwise, in the future, only the rich will be able to get married. Marriage will become a privilege of the wealthy, and average people will have to scrape everything together just to afford a wife. Even if the bride price isn't high, what about the house and car?

[00:18:26]Are they cheap? Bride price used to be like, if I can give 30,000, I give 30,000. If I can give 3,000, I give 3,000. You understand? Back in Sichuan, we used to give just a few thousand or 10 or 20,000. Now it's over 100,000.

[00:18:43]That's because people picked up these bad habits.

[00:18:46]And there are fools willing to accept it. That's the key issue. Like that guy from Putian who gave 900,000, same logic. It's like me saying I'm selling this bottle of mineral water for 5,000.

[00:18:58]You say no.

[00:18:59]But someone else says yes. What happens then? Now everyone thinks this bottle is worth 5,000. You get it? It's the desperate honest guys who can't find a wife that are artificially inflating the price. Resist bride prices. Resist the commercialization of marriage. Bride price is marriage for sale. If men don't wake up and start pushing back against this, especially against these outrageous bride prices of hundreds of thousands, then their own sons won't be able to get married one day. It becomes a vicious cycle where marriage and bride price become a luxury only the rich can afford, and ordinary people will have to sell everything they have just to marry.

[00:19:39]Honestly, I really do want to get married. The biggest reason I haven't been able to is because my social circle is too small. I don't know if you're like me, staring at a computer at work, then staring at my phone after work.

[00:19:51]When I hang out with friends, it's always the same few people. There's just no time to meet new people of the opposite sex. My parents and relatives keep pressuring me, and over time it's made me anxious, irritable, and unsettled. I even feel like I might be getting depressed. I realized that if I want to change my situation, I have to take the initiative to expand my social circle. I also listen carefully to the suggestions from friends around me.

[00:20:17]After all, with how developed the internet is now, there are many ways to socialize. But you can't just make blind choices and waste your time and energy in the wrong places. After trying out many apps, I chose Edu A because it doesn't immediately pressure you into talking about marriage, and you won't be rejected over small flaws. Every user is real name verified with public profiles and photos. This transparency gives me peace of mind. Everyone here takes marriage seriously. Once you're online, you can quickly be matched with people in your city and gradually explore the possibility of love. I really like this approach and I'll keep working hard to find love and marriage. I hope everyone can find love on Edu A. Please wish me luck.