Parental Alienation is Abuse

[00:00:01]Good afternoon.

[00:00:03]We're sitting at about 95.

[00:00:06]Um just turn off the fan and I can instantly feel the sting of the heat.

[00:00:12]Okay.

[00:00:14]>> [clears throat] >> So, excuse me.

[00:00:16]I'm a little uh hot.

[00:00:19]So, I'm going to read this and discuss it a little bit. All right.

[00:00:26]Parental alienation is considered a serious form of child maltreatment that causes devastating bio-psychosocial, spiritual effects for both the alienated parent and the child. Okay?

[00:00:45]Research indicates that 98% of professionals at the Association of Family and and uh conciliation courts agree with the tenant that the child can be manipulated to reject a parent who does not deserve to be rejected.

[00:01:04]This removal and denial of contact when absent of neglect or abuse constitutes cruel and unusual treatment that undermines the child's right to know and to be cared for by both parents.

[00:01:21]The alienated parent often displays narcissistic or borderline tendencies you uh using I'm sorry. Let's reread that.

[00:01:33]The alienating parent, not the alienated. Okay? I'm the alienated, the one separated from. Okay? The one doing the alienating, the other parent keeping the kid from me.

[00:01:46]The alienated parent often the alienating the I can't even say it right. Alienating parent often displays narcissistic or borderline narcissistic tendencies using the children as pawns to destroy the other parent's relationship with them.

[00:02:07]This behavior is driven by motives such as revenge, jealousy, or extortion and involves lying and false accusations to paint a narrative picture a negative picture of the targeted parent.

[00:02:25]The >> [sighs and gasps] >> therapist warn that if clinic conditions fail to recognize this dynamic they may inadvertently participate in child abuse by supporting the alienator's narrative. Okay.

[00:02:42]Do that one more time so it's more coherent cuz it's I'm reading couple different sections, okay? So, the alienating parent often displays narcissistic or borderline tendencies using the child the children as pawns to destroy the other parent's relationship with them.

[00:03:04]This behavior is driven by >> [clears throat] >> motives such as revenge, jealousy, or extortion and involves lying and false accusations to paint a negative picture of the targeted parent.

[00:03:18]Therapist warn that if clinicians fail to recognize this dynamic they may inadvertently participate in child abuse by supporting the alienator's narrative.

[00:03:31]Okay?

[00:03:33]Now, what this is saying is that one this [ __ ] happens.

[00:03:40]Okay? In 98% of professionals within um the family courts which involve psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatric um everything psychology, okay?

[00:03:58]Um It is a form of child abuse to manipulate the child into believing even just subtly that the parent doesn't love them or the parent is a certain way a certain uh a making false acquired accusations of character legality um personal demeanor um personalities per- personality disorder or um extracurricular activities this that and the other, okay?

[00:04:37]This [ __ ] happens.

[00:04:40]And there's no supporting like um statistics of like how often this happens but the underlying issue is that it happens often.

[00:04:58]And it often happens to the man.

[00:05:01]Okay, the father.

[00:05:03]Um only in extreme cases where the the father is not the abuser and somehow he has the upper hand and absolutely shows evidence proof that the mother is the bad character when she actually is.

[00:05:24]Um would the man be on top of the issue and not be alienated, okay?

[00:05:30]Now, with that parent he could have alienated the mother from the children or the children could alienate themselves from the mother.

[00:05:41]Okay? And it works the same way with the parent with the father, too. So um it's not just a father dynamic, okay?

[00:05:50]It's just more often the father that gets the brunt end of the stick, okay?

[00:05:56]Um, I want more people to understand this and I want other guys out there my age understand that this is a problem and this should be brought up in your court case, okay? Because alienating you from your child is a form of abuse to the child and to us, okay?

[00:06:23]Um, it is cruel and unusual treatment cuz you're brainwashing. That's not See, that's what one thing that they're not going to say because brainwashing is a generalized term, it's not a clinic clinical term, okay?

[00:06:40]Um, but you can brainwash, manipulate someone into believing something, okay?

[00:06:46]That's where the word brainwashing comes from, okay? You manipulate somebody into believing something that's not true, okay?

[00:06:55]And that in itself spins off into bad behaviors or believing in things that aren't true of on a personal level, social level, or on a real world level, okay?

[00:07:12]Um, one of the minor things that kids come to realization about is that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny ain't real, right?

[00:07:22]And that hurts a little bit.

[00:07:24]But what happens if it's a real life fact, especially when it's a social interaction fact, and it really devastates you?

[00:07:33]You ain't that kind of person. You ain't that kind of man.

[00:07:36]And yet you're you're being accused of being such a nasty person?

[00:07:41]Okay.

[00:07:43]Where's the proof?

[00:07:45]You know what I'm saying?

[00:07:46]And that's that's where this needs to be brought up in your court case, in my court case.

[00:07:55]And you know, it needs to be more well known that this [ __ ] happens and this is a form of abuse to the other parent.

[00:08:05]Okay? Because this is traumatizing to the biological father to be kept from his kids, okay?

[00:08:13]It literally states at the uh one of the paragraphs here um um in my book, hold on.

[00:08:23]I'll go back to it.

[00:08:26]It it it is traumatizing to the biological father to keep him to keep his kids from him.

[00:08:38]Keep him Basically, uh keeping his kids from him when he doesn't deserve it. And um it's giving a bunch of examples as to the first few stages where the the mother is trying this psycho psychological [ __ ] with the parent in the house.

[00:09:06]And then when that parent leaves the house and then when the that parent leaves the house she'll go and continuously running her mouth about different scenarios and falsified accusations.

[00:09:20]Um and go as far as to remove kids from the area or the home first or the area in general and move them to another location.

[00:09:35]Um another form of abuse is to lie about the father's character, demeanor, whereabouts, general location, um, employment, education, housing, a bunch other things it's stating here, okay?

[00:09:54]Um, and it even goes as far as to say it is even abusive to have another man adopt those kids that were alienated from their father based on a falsified narrative to paint a picture for the kids to live out the rest of their life.

[00:10:20]That's some sick [ __ ] Like >> [sighs] >> I'm [ __ ] standing here sweating trying to read this [ __ ] and it's making me upset just [ __ ] thinking about it.

[00:10:35]Like may Why is that Real time realization, here we go again.

[00:10:45]Maybe that's why I couldn't find I can't find Aiden and Robbie.

[00:10:52]Because she had somebody adopt them out.

[00:10:57]Lying about my character.

[00:11:00]Whereabouts.

[00:11:04]Allie, Zeke, and Della, your mom did the same thing.

[00:11:09]That's another realization that like, duh.

[00:11:11]She just got married.

[00:11:13]She had him adopt you kids. That That's kind of weird sick. Anyway, um, that's probably why I can't find Aiden.

[00:11:31]Okay.

[00:11:33]Thinking out loud and sharing just made me realize something, okay?

[00:11:37]Um cuz I was only going to read the first couple of sections and I started reading more and more and more and I really like, "Oh."

[00:11:45]Taking the kids out of the house or out of location, having them adopted out to change their name to hide them, to alienate them further from their father.

[00:11:56]That's some sick [ __ ] And the alienating parent often displays narcissistic or borderline narcissistic tendencies.

[00:12:08]That's [ __ ] mind-blowing.

[00:12:12]Okay.

[00:12:13]So, maybe y'all's moms ain't a narcissist, maybe she's just being vindictive, revenge, jealousy, extortion, using the kids as pawns.

[00:12:27]I've never had an opportunity to have a relationship with Noah, Aiden, Robbie, Alex, Zeke, and Adela.

[00:12:36]And I've never done anything wrong.

[00:12:38]I'm not a weirdo, I'm not a sicko, I'm not a pervert, I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic, I'm not violent, I'm not abusive.

[00:12:46]I'm stubborn.

[00:12:48]I put my [ __ ] foot down. I I I'm set in my ways because I want to do things a certain way to get to the future.

[00:12:56]You know what I'm saying?

[00:12:58]But I'm not going to destroy somebody's psyche, their mentality, you know, or their heart just to get ahead.

[00:13:09]I'm not going to ride somebody's coattails or get involved with somebody [ __ ] 10-plus years younger than me just to feel young again.

[00:13:19]No.

[00:13:21]I'm going to continuously grow up cuz we're still growing up. I'm 45 and I'm still growing up, okay?

[00:13:29]This This is parts for my kids to understand.

[00:13:32]Like I'm really trying. I'm figuring this [ __ ] out. I'm realizing, putting the pieces together, okay? I know I got ton more pieces to [ __ ] find and put together.

[00:13:46]But I'm trying, okay?

[00:13:49]Noah, I want to go see you this summer.

[00:13:52]I want to see you in person. I want to spend time with you.

[00:13:58]Okay?

[00:14:00]I really do, man.

[00:14:04]And that goes with Noah, Allie, Zeke, Adela, Aiden, Robbie.

[00:14:14]I want to make my rounds.

[00:14:18]And I don't want to feel like this alienated parent anymore. I want my kids to know the truth that I'm here and I've been trying my hardest to stay alive for you so I could be here for you now.

[00:14:31]Okay? We've got technology to stay in touch and Mama ain't got a [ __ ] worry about it. She ain't got to [ __ ] know about it. And I'm right here.

[00:14:41]I'm right here.

[00:14:43]Okay?

[00:14:46]And we can make plans. I can come see y'all and we can just sort [ __ ] out, okay?

[00:14:55]No more of this alienating [ __ ] anymore.

[00:15:00]I also want all my kids to connect, too.

[00:15:03]Contact each other. Talk to each other.

[00:15:06]Ask each other about your lives.

[00:15:09]Share your your life with each other.

[00:15:12]It's important.

[00:15:13]Okay?

[00:15:18]No more No more of this feeling alienated.

[00:15:22]Okay?

[00:15:33]I know in my heart that each of you knows that I love you.

[00:15:39]And I'm not going to give up on you.

[00:15:41]I'm going to keep trying.

[00:15:43]And I'm going to keep telling you, No, Allie, Zeke, Adele, Aiden, Robbie, I'm right here.

[00:15:56]Don't hesitate to talk to me.

[00:15:59]You don't have to be shy about it.

[00:16:02]You don't have to worry about your mom or anybody else in the household.

[00:16:08]This is This time is for with us, okay?

[00:16:10]This time is for us.

[00:16:15]I'll come see you.

[00:16:18]Let's make plans.

[00:16:20]Okay?

[00:16:28]I'm getting hot. I'm getting worked up.

[00:16:31]I'm getting worked up cuz it's hot.

[00:16:33]And it's hot, and I'm getting worked up because of this.

[00:16:37]>> [sighs] >> So, for my kids and anybody else out there starting over, try harder to end the alienating by undermining the control of the other parent by contacting your child like this.

[00:16:59]Start with this.

[00:17:01]Then go into the messages, and then make plans to meet up for lunch or go on a camping trip or something.

[00:17:10]Okay?

[00:17:25]>> I'm here.

[00:17:28]I think of each of you every day.

[00:17:31]And even if you you've been used to your own current home life and you're used to the people in your house right now.

[00:17:42]Just know at the bare minimum that when I wasn't in your mind when I wasn't around you were still on my mind. I was still worried about you.

[00:17:55]No matter who was in your life at that moment or is now.

[00:18:01]I still love you. I still care about you and I still worry about you as a dad should.

[00:18:06]Okay?

[00:18:08]So just like I said in my previous videos if you want to contact me, do it. You don't need to ask for permission.

[00:18:20]If you want to come home with me and you're over the age of 14 tell me and I'll come get you. Or if you got wheels, just come home. Okay?

[00:18:29]And if you want your last name changed to my last name or back to my last name Phillips just contact me and we'll start the paperwork. Okay?

[00:18:42]I want all my kids to have my last name.

[00:18:46]Noah still has my last name.

[00:18:49]I'm glad that that's still there.

[00:18:51]Allie, Zeke, and Adela never had my last name. And I have a sneaking suspicion Aiden and Robbie have been have been adopted out.

[00:19:01]I want to adopt all my kids back.

[00:19:05]Even if I'm not the biological father.

[00:19:10]I've still been dad the whole [ __ ] time since Allie was 6.

[00:19:17]Well, she was like this tall.

[00:19:19]ish She's like this tall now.

[00:19:24]Noah, Allie, you're about the same height.

[00:19:28]All my kids are [ __ ] bigger than me.

[00:19:31]And >> [laughter] >> Anyway.

[00:19:36]Um As you can tell, I'm I'm really hot on the camera. I can feel it though.

[00:19:44]I know.

[00:19:45]I'm [ __ ] getting sticky. Okay, let's end this. We're at about 20 minutes. I love you and I miss you all. Let's end this parental alienating alienation.

[00:19:57]Okay?

[00:19:58]Um And let's connect together.

[00:20:05]And just undermine any other [ __ ] [ __ ] that was already said and done.

[00:20:13]Just contact me.

[00:20:17]You're I'm right here.

[00:20:19]I love you and I miss you. Have a beautiful day.

[00:20:22]I'm going to turn the fan on. [ __ ] hot.

[00:20:24]Later.