Why Being Bored is Actually Good for Your Child’s Development | Your Morning

[00:00:00]Well, summer can be a stressful time for parents struggling to fill the calendar, whether it's with camps or classes, but there is a case to be made for not programming every second of summer.

[00:00:10]Obviously, that depends on each family's unique needs, whether it's working parents or the necessity of child care, but this morning we are bringing you the benefits of boredom. Here to explain that as well as ways to build quiet confidence in your child is parenting expert Vivian Maraki. Great to have you back on the show.

[00:00:24]>> Thank you so much.

[00:00:25]>> So, let's talk about the perks of unstructured time or just letting kids be bored.

[00:00:29]>> Mhm. So, sometimes boredom can get a bad rap because we think that we need to solve that problem, but actually it's not a bad thing. The unstructured time can actually help to build some emotional resilience as they solve problems, some creativity and innovation, as well as executive function and decision-making, and also, of course, restoring their brain after a really busy school year.

[00:00:49]>> Yeah, I love what you said that we feel like we need to solve the problem, but by letting them be bored, they get to solve the problem.

[00:00:56]>> Yes.

[00:00:57]>> Yeah, that's awesome. So, what can kids learn from being bored? How is this beneficial?

[00:01:01]>> Yeah, so I think the biggest thing is creativity and innovation, uh that they have to solve that problem and figure things out, and sometimes some questions that we can ask them to help them prompt that is things like, you know, "What can you build right now?

[00:01:13]What do you want to create? What do you want to do that you haven't done before or try in terms of something new?" And those are new things that can help open up possibilities and options instead of feeling like, "What's the thing that I need to do to solve the problem right now?"

[00:01:25]>> I love the idea of a prompt because it's not just saying to them like, "Go away.

[00:01:29]Go be bored." It's giving them like the the spark >> Yes.

[00:01:33]>> and letting them take that wherever it goes.

[00:01:35]>> Exactly.

[00:01:36]>> Yeah. What do you say to parents who don't necessarily have this option?

[00:01:39]Because we've all been there where you either have to like too young of kids and you need to send them to camp or just is a necessity of your life to have a little more programming mixed in. How can we work in boredom?

[00:01:51]>> Yeah, so the problem is not camps. Camps are amazing. It's a great learning opportunity and it is a necessity in many cases, but it's more about where can you find more space? Spaciousness for you, spaciousness for your kids so you're not scheduling every moment.

[00:02:04]Giving them that moment to chill, you know, to just rest and to be with themselves and for you to be with them, too. So, it's looking for those opportunities. It might be half-day camps. It might be looking at your schedule and maybe it's a few days instead of the full week. Uh, you know, what are those opportunities that you can add more spaciousness in rather than scheduling every moment?

[00:02:23]>> Yeah, even finding that space on the weekend.

[00:02:25]>> Yes. Yeah, finding those moments. What do you suggest, Vivian, in terms of low-cost ways to build confidence?

[00:02:32]>> Yeah, so I think that oftentimes we think we have to invest in a lot, but it's actually in the everyday moments.

[00:02:37]What are ways that we can find connection with our children and really looking at and I I actually suggest this in three kind of categories as we encourage our kids to look for those things. So, one is what do you think you want to do to care for yourself?

[00:02:50]Um, you know, and activities around that. Is it making your own lunch, packing your own bag, looking at your room, you know, that kind of thing. Uh, what are ways that you can do to care for the home? What are things that you can do to contribute to the household?

[00:03:01]Making dinner together. Um, you know, tending to the garden, things like that.

[00:03:05]And then the last one is what do you want to do that cares for someone else?

[00:03:09]Uh, maybe it's baking cookies for a neighbor, you know, those are all things that there are those little uh, tasks and and uh, activities that you can do that don't require a lot of money, but it's more about the intention that you're setting and how you want to contribute, which can also build confidence.

[00:03:24]>> What would you say for how we can turn those kinds of tasks we just talked about into a connection point instead of just something that we're like checking off a list? I know I know you love meaningful conversations so much and so a lot of those conversations can happen like shoulder to shoulder while you're doing something instead of looking at each other face-to-face and making it that like what we call in our house the BLL, the big long lecture, where you're like sitting [laughter] and talking about it and making it feel like it's a a talk as opposed to just organically happening.

[00:03:54]>> Exactly. And I think that that's exactly it is we want shoulder to shoulder because sometimes it can be really intimidating for our kids to feel like they're on the spot and they have to answer a question. They've been in school all day. That is a style that is in many schools. So instead it's inviting that organic play, activities where we're busy with our hands and it's shoulder to shoulder and it's really creating those opportunities for connection in those everyday moments.

[00:04:17]Not looking at them as chores. As parents we sometimes think, "Oh my god, I just want to get it done." Right?

[00:04:21]Because that is the more efficient and we want to be fast. But actually slowing down, inviting them in, doing it together can create the space where, "Oh, you know, things just come up organically." And building the connection that way.

[00:04:32]>> I love that all. Vivian, this is great.

[00:04:34]Thank you so much.

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