My Oldest Brother's Dementia: Signs I Missed

[00:00:00]What up, Macheads? What up, YouTube?

[00:00:02]Today, I'mma talk about dementia awareness. So, in case one of your loved ones are dealing with dementia, you you'll recognize and this particular story is about my oldest brother when he came down with a bad case of dementia.

[00:00:24][music] to hold me back.

[00:00:33]My hood with crackers. [music] I'm the best thinking of me to hold me back. Too big for my [ __ ] and I got [ __ ] Now I'm hitting switches. [ __ ] want my riches. Used to get 15 [music] when my was alive. Now >> that was it. I never stop. I never stopped banging. [music] I I started banging hard then I got so hard. Feel it was a shame. Welcome to another episode [music] of KM video. True true two true true stories.

[00:01:00]So this story takes place like 2015 something like that, right? And my brother at time, my oldest brother at that time in prison. He comes home and he's getting his life together. He's no longer on drugs. He ain't in the streets.

[00:01:18]He done got his credit together. The VA done set him up. He got section 8. He got income.

[00:01:25]And he's just doing good, man. But one of the problems with dementia is memory loss, aggravation. They get aggravated.

[00:01:37]They get frustrated.

[00:01:40]They start hallucinating and stuff like that, right? You could see on their expressions. Their expressions change like things ain't funny no more. Now all of a sudden everything's serious. They don't want to smile.

[00:01:55]They're at a loss of words. They start using one word answers and stuff like that. Almost like they're upset with you.

[00:02:04]And so bro is hanging out with me. Uh we see each other every day, not for long, but I would I would take him to Subway.

[00:02:13]He liked Subway and I was still getting a little bit of change at the time. So I would take him to Subway for for lunch.

[00:02:19]He loved Subway, so I would take him to lunch. And then uh he end up buying him a car, a lot of nice clothes. He had nice nice clothes. He would keep his grandkids. He had three grandkids. He would watch them every day, take them to school, pick them up from school and stuff like that. And he would either come see me or I come see him. And he ended up getting his girlfriend raggedy ho smoked out.

[00:02:49]And normally I see good in everybody. I didn't see no good in her. I didn't see no good in her. She was using him and taking advantage of his situation in which I was unaware of at first.

[00:03:03]But I remember one day like I'm up at Bobby Day's house where I was staying and hustling and I tell my brother, "Come scoop me up."

[00:03:13]He like, "All right, I'll be there in a minute."

[00:03:16][ __ ] I call him 30 minutes later, "Man, where you at?" He said, "I'm on my way."

[00:03:22]Call him an hour later. [ __ ] where you at, >> man? Quit sweat me, man. I'm lost. I'm lost. All right. I'm lost. I'm like, you lost. How you lost? you grew up in this area. You've been over here probably two 300 times. How the [ __ ] are you lost? He like, "Man, I don't know where I'm at.

[00:03:42]I'm just in some hills." I said, "All right, go to the corner and tell me the name of the streets you're at." So when he did that, I guided him over. He scooped me up. I'm like, "Man, what's wrong with you?" Like nothing. So I'm thinking he's just frustrated, right?

[00:03:59]He's acting frustrated. He's acting mad and stuff. He take me to do whatever I need to do. We handle that. He drop me off. I said, "You know how to get home and he gets upset." I'm like, "Well, you got lost here, bro. Like, I ain't trying to be funny, but are you going to make it home safe? Cuz I could drop you off and I'll walk back or I'll keep your car until you need it in the morning." He like, "No, I'm good." So, boom. Broke goes on about his business. Then my sister in Texas flies out to the valley somewhere. San Fernando Valley somewhere over there. I don't know if it's a airport bus state. I don't know. But she calls me. Hey, can you pick me up? Well, [ __ ] I ain't got no ride. I'll get your brother to pick you up. So, I call my brother. He love his sister to death. I say, man, Kim needs you to scoop her up in San Fernando Valley. He said, "All right, what time?" I said, "Right now."

[00:05:01]I said, "You want me to go with you?" He said, "No, I got it." Okay, cool. [ __ ] I might make a little change while you gone. So good. You not disturbing my day. So I tell Kim he on his way. I'm thinking everything's good. The shit's done with. Kim calls me an hour yelling and fussing. Well, where y'all at? I said, Benny on his way. He ain't here yet. I'm like, how long it's been? It's been an hour. She said, "I gotta he gotta hurry up." So I called Benny.

[00:05:31]"Where you at?" He said, "I'm on my way there." I'm like, "On your way, [ __ ] It been an hour." He said, "I don't know where she at." All right, cool. He's frustrated once again.

[00:05:42]So Kim called me. [ __ ] where you at?

[00:05:45]What happened? Like, damn, I can't count on nobody. I do [ __ ] for everybody. I can't count on nobody. So I feel bad, but he didn't want me to ride with him.

[00:05:53]So I called him. Benny, where you at?

[00:05:55]I'm on my way back. I said, "You got Kim?" He said, "No." I'm like, "Nigga, Kim is mad." He said, "Oh, well, she'll get over it." I'm like, "Wow, that's crazy." So, I say, "Look, come to me.

[00:06:08]I'm going to get in the car and we going to go get her."

[00:06:12]I called Kim, say, "We coming to get you." She like, "It's too late now." All right. So, at that point, I still [clears throat] don't know. I don't recognize anything's going wrong with my brother. Not yet.

[00:06:27]I just know he's upset all the time. So, I'm thinking it's the girl, it's the smoker that has him upset. It's him taking care of his grandkids all the time is upsetting him. It's frustrating, right? Cuz he he been locked up so much of his adulthood.

[00:06:46]It kind of seemed like he didn't readjust to society this time around.

[00:06:51]but he's going to all his doctor visits and like I said, they helped him out at the VA hospital. He's an exNavy veteran from the 1970s.

[00:07:03]And [clears throat] so although I got two stories that I could tell, I'm going to tell one and I'mma save one.

[00:07:14]And so one day, and this is a story I really want to tell. So one day his girl owes me $800 and she gets paid at 12:00 midnight.

[00:07:30]So I tell bro, make sure you bring your girl cuz you know you the one telling me look out for her, help her out.

[00:07:40]So they come scoop me up and we go over by the jungle. Rodeo and Labraa. They got a ATM right there. be a line of [ __ ] out there waiting to get their checks. Look like a bunch of zombies out there and it's usually like two or three bloods out there flamed up or blood this blood that. I don't know if they had some mental issues and was getting a check or they was there [clears throat] like me. Somebody owe them some money.

[00:08:09]So we sitting there waiting. She go get go to the ATM and [ __ ] She tried to play me first because she say, "Oh, she didn't get paid." I'm like, "Wait a minute. Everybody else get money." So, I went back up there. I'm mad. I'm like, "Hey y'all, hold up. She was just up here and the machine was tripping. Let her get back up in here." So, I'm up at the ATM with her. Punch everything in.

[00:08:31]Money come out. I'm like, "This [ __ ] tried to get over on me." She breaks me off my 800. And we get in the car and I'm counting. I just keep counting my 800. Make sure I didn't drop none. make sure I nothing fell in the car. I'm count my 800. So, I got my head down.

[00:08:49]All my worries for now are over with.

[00:08:51]I'm not tripping.

[00:08:56]I looked up and he's on the wrong side of the rail on the wrong side of the street going south on the brand. If y'all know that area, cars come down there going fast. They come down there like 50 m an hour, 55 m an hour, you know, speeding a little bit over the limit cuz you're going downhill and you know you don't have no incoming traffic or nobody turning on to the block. I think there's one spot where somebody might can turn in and uh that's right by the park, Jim Gillian Park.

[00:09:37]I believe you could turn in right there.

[00:09:42]And so I'm like, "Nigga, you on the wrong side of the street." And he just he's holding the steering wheel tight like he's frustrated.

[00:09:51]And I'm like, "Cuz you on the wrong side of the street."

[00:09:57]And he says, "Leave me alone." I'M LIKE, "WHAT?

[00:10:01][ __ ] LEAVE YOU ALONE, [ __ ] YOU playing with my life." And now his girl was tripping. His girl was yelling at him. And there cars coming head on, coming fast, but none in the far lane.

[00:10:12]They both over to the to the number two and three lane.

[00:10:18]We in the number one lane going the wrong way.

[00:10:23]And he's going he's going about 35 miles an hour. So, we can't just stop or nothing. I'm like, [ __ ] And I don't want to try to turn around or tell him to turn around cuz we could get hit from the side or the back. So, I'm just in the back just like I'm not praying, but I should have been praying that we don't get hit.

[00:10:45]And then as we start getting closer because I'm like, it's a light up there.

[00:10:49]It's light way up there. When we get to that [ __ ] light, [ __ ] I'm jumping out of this [ __ ] And boom. When we get to the light, I don't follow my instinct. I jump over the seat and grab the steering wheel and turn the steering wheel to the right to get back on the correct side of the of the street and he's yelling and he's like and he slams the thing in park.

[00:11:13]Boom. [clears throat] YOU WANT TO DRIVE, [ __ ] I'm like, "Hell yeah. Get your ass from behind the drive wheel."

[00:11:22]And then his girl like, "Well, you going to get us killed now?" He yelling at her, "You want to drive?" "No, [ __ ] I'm driving.

[00:11:30]So we going cuz we damn near to the spot. So boom, we going up over hill go to the house. And uh I should have known right then. But I didn't. I should have known right there that this fool had dementia. But I didn't because when we talk about stuff, he always remembered everything and all of that. And then uh I come to his house.

[00:12:00]He asked me for some stamps and a few dollars. So I go to his apartment and um he got stamps and envelopes everywhere. Sweep stakes and [ __ ] I'm like, "Man, what is all this shit?" He like, "Sweep state?" I'm like, "Man, that shit's fake, man."

[00:12:18]I'm like, "You tripping." I'm steady telling him, "You tripping. You tripping." I'm like, "Cuz you going home with me. You going to Bobby Day house with me, homie. I cannot allow you to live here with this nothing. No good ass black cat looking ass bitch." Excuse my language. Sorry to the kids, but that's how I felt. That's what I'm saying to him. And [clears throat] uh her daughter comes and her daughter says, "What?

[00:12:46]What's wrong?" I said, "He can't think for himself, so he got to go with me."

[00:12:51]And she like, "No, that's not a good idea." No, it's a great idea.

[00:12:56]He tells me, he like, "Look, man, I'm grown. I do what I want to do. I want to stay here. I just want her out of here."

[00:13:04]I'm like, "I can't get her out of here.

[00:13:06]She ain't going nowhere. You done took good care of her. You done gave her a place to stay. She ain't giving you no [ __ ] She ain't going nowhere, [ __ ] She can't find a better place to go."

[00:13:18]So, he stayed there. So, I did start to notice he couldn't think correctly. And I asked him, I said, "Benny, what's wrong with you, man?" He said, "The [ __ ] is driving me crazy. She going to be to death for me."

[00:13:35]That [ __ ] [ __ ] me up. I'm like, "He's mentally [ __ ] up. He's really mentally [ __ ] up."

[00:13:43]I called my sister and told her like, "Something wrong with him."

[00:13:47]I never thought about dementia. I don't know the signs of dementia. Only my homeboy's mom had it and she didn't drive or nothing like that. And uh so bottom line, man, if your loved one starts acting strange, cuz as we get up in age, [ __ ] tends to happen. This is a mental disability. It affects the brain.

[00:14:11]It affects the way you think. It re uh affects your memory, how you act, your attitude, all of that stuff, man. So, if you have a family member that's acting strange, that's getting up in age, get them checked out for dementia.

[00:14:25]And I'm going to give y'all the rest of this story or another story about my brother having dementia. With that said, I'm out of here, man. Take care of your loved ones.

[00:14:36]Stay on top of their health if you can, especially mental health, cuz that [ __ ] is real. I'm out of here. Y'all have a good day. Peace.

[00:14:51]This is Los Angeles.

[00:14:59]And if you put a mark, you make sure that's easy.

[00:15:07]Heat. Heat.

[00:15:14][music] >> [music]